Figured it was about time to create an index of my stories. Titles link out to AO3. Double asterisks indicate that there are at least a few illustrations included in the fic.
Longer Works - Human AUs
This Phantom Life ** // E, 87k
Aziraphale (Zee) Marsh is a widowed hermit who secretly writes bestselling romance novels under a pseudonym. His life is rigorously controlled until his new downstairs neighbor arrives. Anthony Crowley causes something to come alive in Zee that he hasn’t seen in over twenty years, but Crowley brings his own dark secrets.
Rapture on the Seas ** // E, 89k
Zira and Crowley do not have a meet-cute. Their first accidental crash into each other results in enmity, and now they’re assigned to the same dinner group on their two-week transatlantic cruise. Of course, they’re also dating anonymously online, and planning to meet up soon…
Dead Right ** // E (T with skippable spice), 125k
In order to keep the family bookshop, Aziraphale must marry by his 45th birthday. He’s introduced to Crowley, and the two make an arrangement to enter a fake marriage until the business is secured.
The Regret List ** // E (M with skippable spice), 107k
Divorced, almost fifty, and still mostly in the closet, Aziraphale receives a challenge: create a Regret List, set right what he can, and learn to live a more authentic life. He knows exactly where he needs to start – Anthony Crowley.
*****
Longer Works - Canon-Related
Aziraphale’s Bucket List ** // E, 61k, post S2 canon-compliant
A month after Aziraphale follows the Metatron into Heaven, he’s gotten himself reassigned to earth. He’s finally free to express his love…but Crowley isn’t ready. Aziraphale comes up with a Plan.
Tender Morsels // M, 61k, through-the-years canon-adjacent
What if the Fall had nothing to do with Good and Evil? What if angels and demons were split for other reasons? When Aziraphale and Crowley fumble through their first drunken kiss, something changes. Can they find a path forward together when all of heaven and hell think of fraternizing as an act of treason?
The Third Prince ** // M, 44k, post S2 canon-compliant
Crowley never wanted to be an angel, but to stop the Second Coming, it seems he has no choice. Neither does Aziraphale, who must Fall to save the world. Now, it’s a race against time and the Metatron to protect humanity from Heaven, Hell, and the bloody Ineffable Plan. Illustrated by @ruby-gold.
Daughter of God // E, 45k, post S2 canon-compliant
Jo, daughter of God, adopts Aziraphale and Crowley as her new parents.
New Skin for an Old Wolf // T, 89k, post S2 canon-compliant
A new kind of Armageddon is coming, one that will take the combined power of angels, demons, and humans to overcome – if they ever start talking.
*****
Shorter Works - Canon and AU
To Catch a Ghost ** // T, 17k, human AU
Paranormal Podcasters Pt 1: Trapped in a maybe-haunted house, forced to talk about their Feelings.
In Case of Fire // E, 9k, human AU
A middle-of-the-night hotel fire alarm leads to a smutty strangers-to-lovers rendezvous.
Touch Me Again ** // T, 7k, canon-compliant
What if the Fall wasn't what everyone believes it to be?
World Without End // T, 11k, canon-compliant(ish)
Michael's meddling with the Book of Life sets off an explosion of potential alternate realities.
The New Arrangement (series) // E, post-canon smut series
- Chance Encounter (1.5k): strangers, in public
- The Importance of Being Lazy (666): somnophilia
- Come Quietly; or Absolutely Feral (4k): role play, power dynamics
The (True) Christmas Story // G, 6k, canon-compliant
What really happened the night Jesus was born? Written with @ineffablerainstorm.
Temptation // G, 4k, canon-compliant(ish)
Crowley is jealous of Oscar Wilde and decides to tempt his angel.
Olaf the Schnauzer // T, 8k, human AU
A Schnauzer called Olaf leads Crowley and Aziraphale to discover they're dating the same man. Cowritten with @beerok23, @thechangelingsea, and a fourth anonymous contributor.
Tender is the Night // E, 1.2k, canon-compliant
The missing smut scene from Ch 14 of Daughter of God.
I got tagged quite a number of times in this writer’s meme thingy. At first I thought it was the last 10 fics I’ve read, so I’m glad I figured that out properly before I posted 😅 Thanks for the tags, @spectrallydistracted, @hermiola, @beerok23, @sakascal, and @the-oxrib-and-oyster!
Rules: post the first sentence of your most recent 10 fanfics and tag up to 10 people.
Newest to oldest:
1. Something’s wrong. — World Without End
2. “Demon.” — The Third Prince
3. Crowley rolled his eyes at the two thugs who thought they were being subtle as they followed him from a distance. — Come Quietly; or Absolutely Feral
4. “Oh, hello! It’s…” Crowley suddenly realized that while the angel with the fluffy white hair had introduced himself when they last met, the name hadn’t stuck. — Touch Me Again (yes I cheated a bit on this one…)
5. Crowley didn’t normally answer calls from random numbers. — Olaf the Schnauzer
6. Theologians and historians disagree on when exactly Jesus, the Son of God (or to the latter, a perfectly ordinary man), was born. — The (True) Christmas Story
7. Crowley could sleep through anything. — The Importance of Being Lazy
8. Aziraphale watched the shirtless dancer in the middle of the room. — Chance Encounter
9. Aziraphale bit back a groan as the night veered toward erotic. — Dead Right
10. Yes, Aziraphale had noticed the redhead. — In Case of Fire
Since the folks I would’ve naturally tagged all tagged me, I’m just going to encourage any writers who want to play to do this!
Somewhere Anathema Device caught a glimpse of something in Agnes Nutter’s second book of prophecies, gasped, pulled it out of the fire, got Newt to drive at top speed down the M25 (somehow magically free) dashes into Soho, runs into the bookshop, slams the book down on the counter in front of Aziraphale and Crowley and screams
‘Don’t you two FUCKING dare!’
And leaves.
Several large coffees, bottles of wine and a pile of Eccles cakes and a very long reading and interpretation session later Crowley sits back.
‘Beelzebub and Gabriel, huh? Did not see that coming.’
‘Never mind that, dear,’ Aziraphale says, as he continues carving symbols onto the floor. ‘There. That should do it. The Metatron can’t get in here now.’
‘And you?’ Crowley asks delicately. Aziraphale stands up and primly clasps his hands across his stomach.
‘I have no intention of going up to heaven under any circumstances and especially not now I know how it ends.’ He says. It’s his I Will Not Be Moved tone. Crowley knows it well. He is reassured.
‘Well, maybe pop up and get Muriel. But after that we seal up that lift, agreed?’ Crowley adds.
‘Agreed.’
‘Excellent. Dinner at the Ritz called for I think, to celebrate a very lucky escape. Coming, Angel?’
‘One thing…’ Aziraphale says, and Crowley notices the cheeks of his Angel have gone a little pink, and he is turning that ring on his finger round and round. ‘Prophecy number 547.’
‘547? Was that the one with the butterflies the size of giraffes?’
‘It was not,’ Aziraphale says.
Crowley takes a step closer. He always did enjoy this bit of the temptation, although he was not quite sure who was being tempted right now.
‘Ah, the one with the Welsh Choir serenading the Kraken with excerpts from popular musicals.’
‘No, not that one either.’ Aziraphale appears to have flushed a deep red.
Crowley takes a step closer now. He can feel it - the tingle in his fingers and on his lips.
There’s another first time coming. To add to the Wall, and the Temptation of the Ox Ribs and the Rescue of the Books and all those other first times that have led them step by step to this place.
A first time they had in any timeline, but this would their first time - they, Aziraphale and Crowley in this world, their world.
‘Oh, I know, the one with the crystal the exact size and shape of…’
‘Crowley!’ Aziraphale snaps. ‘You know which one I mean.’
‘Oh,’ Crowley says softly. ‘The one where I tell you there’s an us.’
‘That’s the one,’ Aziraphale says, glancing down at the ground. ‘Of course, if you’d rather not, I understand, it’s asking too much, it’s…’
‘Angel,’ Crowley says, and he steps forward, taking off his glasses, and looks down at his angel, his enemy and ally, his closest friend. His love since he knew what love meant. ‘We have always been an us. We don’t need a prophecy for that.’
And Aziraphale, a soft and gentle angel, not a soldier or a leader, becomes a hero for that moment, and clasps Crowley’s collar and pulls him in for a kiss.
It was a nice day. It would always be a nice day. There would always be a bookshop, and later a garden. Nightingales would always sing and there would be many many kisses to follow that first kiss.
My S3 fix-it canon-compliant fic is now complete. 11k words that start right after S2 ended and diverges from the S3 movie the moment the Metatron is ripped from the Book of Life. If you’re interested in a fix-it that acknowledges what we got and takes it an entirely new direction in a Choose Your Own Ending type way, check it out!
World Without End
Excerpt below the cut:
Saraqael located Michael at once on their tracking device. “They’re upstairs.”
“We’re all upstairs,” Sandalphon huffed.
“Up-upstairs,” Saraqael said. They pointed toward the ceiling. “Metatron level.”
“That’s impossible,” Uriel said. “No one is allowed up there except the Metatron. Obviously.”
“Who has just been attacked,” Aziraphale cut in before the two archangels could exchange further barbs. For goodness’ sake, it was like corralling children sometimes with those two. “Perhaps Michael saw the culprits and is right now trying to keep the Metatron safe. Angels—with me!”
“But we’re not authorized,” Uriel began.
Aziraphale waved off her words. “I authorize this. Emergency circumstances. I will take full responsibility if I’m mistaken.” He stopped by the lift and turned to point a finger at Sandalphon. “Except for you. Stay here and find your charge. Find him, or I will have no choice but to demote you.”
“But—” Sandalphon began.
The ding of the lift cut him off, and Aziraphale hurried the others inside. He pressed the button to the top floor, fingers shaking. A moment later, they were on the way up, up, up.
Aziraphale was braced for potential battle when the lift disgorged them. He didn’t have his sword any longer, but he would fight if need be. He was not prepared to find the room empty of anyone except Michael, shaking and moaning in a crumpled heap, one hand clutched in agony around a page from the Book of Life. Flames licked the edges of the paper, soot and smoke staining Michael’s fingers.
A shiver of instinctual terror washed through Aziraphale, and he was moving before he knew what he planned to do. Something deep inside him told him that if that page burned through entirely, everything would be lost. The entirety of existence would break. Reality would be unmade.
*****
The movie Clue is one of my all-time favorites. If you’re not familiar with it, it comes with three endings. There are cue cards that flip between the different endings. The first says: “That’s how it could have happened. // But how about this?”
This is literally the first thing that came to my mind when my brain unscrambled enough from watching the finale. A story can end many ways. It can end many ways without changing the substantive content of what came before. The Book of Life / butterfly effect / reality catching up “logic” of S3 gave me the perfect opportunity to write a canon-compliant alternate S3 that I preferred to what we got.
Note: this is not a full S3 fic. I’ve written numerous S3 fics in the last three years – my pinned post has links out to them – and I didn’t feel the urge to create another. I only wanted to write a bridge story, one that starts with the way the IRL S3 began and then diverges as soon as the BoL plot opens itself up to an “everything can be canon” type situation, leaving “what happens next” up to everyone’s individual imaginations.
It has been a good experience, writing this. I’ve used lines from the movie, and so scenes I’ve written have started to transplant themselves over the ones we got. I’ve started to feel warm, fuzzy feelings about S3 because I can “remember” the proper communication and the sweet kiss and the way Az and Crow work together to fix the Book of Life. It also helped me to sort out all my thoughts about the finale, good and bad, and land squarely on a quote from another of my favorite movies, The Hours: “I don’t accept this. I don’t accept what you say.” And happily, because of the way the movie was written, I don’t have to accept it. So I won’t, and I will move on. 💕
I have spent a long time struggling with my feelings about S3. For me, it’s not about the ending, or at least, not only about the ending. It’s about what came before: the story with so many plotholes that it makes no sense; the drastic changes in characterization; the lack of nuance. Some of that can be explained by the season being cut to 90 minutes, but not all. There were lovely moments throughout, but without a cohesive narrative arc, so much of the movie felt to me like an AI-generated fever dream. The only part of the story I truly loved was the last five minutes, because it felt like an entirely separate entity reminiscent of human AU fanfics. I wish that I’d instead watched a 90-min movie based on that story, starting with the meet-cute and ending in the garden, and gotten all the in-between bits along the way.
But to me, the human AU ending with its lovely Asa/Anthony story has nothing to do with the film that came before it. The film that came before was so messy and riddled with continuity errors that suspension-of-disbelief never had a chance for me. Those who have known me for a long time know that I really dislike the idea of the Book of Life because it makes no sense. If it can be changed, then the present stops existing. If, say, you wipe Aziraphale from existence, then he couldn’t have given the flaming sword away, couldn’t have sheltered Crowley under his wing, couldn’t have lied to save Job’s children, etc. Who would Crowley be now if Aziraphale had never existed? What about the things they did together? Those things couldn’t have happened. Everything changes in ways that make the present entirely unrecognizable. The one thing that I didn’t want to happen in S3 was for it to be a Book of Life story. Then it was, and internal logic ceased to exist, and I felt betrayed by the writing itself.
The thing is, I know that many people who hated the finale would have loved it if the ending had been different. If Aziraphale and Crowley had properly communicated and found a way to put the world back without sacrificing themselves and everyone else, there wouldn’t be such a tear in the fandom. But for me? A happy ending would not have changed my feelings at all. My disappointment doesn’t hinge on the angel and demon getting their HEA, but on the poorly-plotted script. I can handle ambiguous endings and tragic endings. No, it’s not what I wanted for Aziracrow, but I can be satisfied – IF the story is written in a way to get us there properly. This story, this writing, didn’t fit the tone of the book or the former seasons, so the ending we got couldn’t change my thoughts on the show.
I’m happy for the people who really loved it, and sad for the people who really hated it. And I feel a bit lonely, stuck in this vague middle area of enjoying pieces of the show but ultimately feeling disappointed, underwhelmed, and pining for a better-written S3. Sure, I can write my own fix-it (and I am – one good thing about the BoL plot is that it makes writing a canon-compliant fix-it super simple!), but for me, the sadness I feel about what we got last month is exactly the same sadness I would have felt if the show had been canceled altogether. I can’t view it as canon, due to its own discrepancies, and therefore I can only imagine what S3 might have been.
🏳🌈HAPPY PRIDE MONTH🏳🌈 and Hell, Pandemonium LLC. has PAPERWORK about it.
June’s Infernal Resources Monthly Incident Report has landed and the classification is simultaneously Gross Misconduct AND Commendation and Hell is having a very bad time about it.
Crowley was caught fraternising at Pride but also, accidentally, delivered exceptional human disruption. All while committing "Unauthorised Happyness" against a certain angel’s temple.
Watertight case. For commendation. SATAN DAMN IT.
So in the spirit of Crowley being technically, bureaucratically, cosmically impossible to punish for loving who he loves:
Wear the thing. Say the thing. Hold the hand. Kiss the person. Be perceived, loudly and on purpose. (Aziraphale would want you to be safe though, so maybe keep just a little reason, tucked in your pocket, just in case).
