okay. so. he hits his head. not a big deal.
Diluc raises his hand with his mouth agape, then chooses to shut it and facepalms instead, groaning. Jean is looking a second away from aging a thousand years. Albedo observes him like a suspiciously cute yet absolutely deranged mouse he's watching in his laboratory with a tablet in his hand, scribbling something.
Barbara chooses to splash a generous amount of water on him instead of wording her frustration like would any other full-fledged adult.
or, Kaeya can easily brush his concussion off as something inconvenient but not serious, enter the Headquarters, muttering something about a headache, choose to work instead of laying down, and startle everyone he meets into horror. he's dumb, your honor, Diluc says. Jean replies that she's, unfortunately, aware. Kaeya pouts.
or, alternatively, Kaeya is being a tad too into his hyperfixation mode so he brushes most of his bodily functions aside despite knowing better. Diluc knows better than anyone on this poor Teyvat's surface, above and beyond and below.
Kaeya knows he's close. he's real close. a tad too far, and he's going to finally hit the nail on the coffin of the Treasure Hoarders camp, getting rid of them as they declined most of his propositions and he had no legal bounds to limit their whereabouts without any proof or warrant to.
he had written Yelan. he had gathered the clues, the identities, all the like. he had found the families of these twisted souls, so bashfully refusing his offers to settle the grounds and play a fair game. Yelan had replied, and he had sent her his intel, and they met nearby the Stone Gates, discussing.
Yelan had given her permission, flashing a sly smile, to use all the means possible to settle the score right, and if needed, use her name to get them quiet. Kaeya replied, as charmingly as ever, that he'd send for her the moment he's captured those cute nuisances, causing his headache.
oh, the feeling of the investigation closing to an end!
he loved the shiver of excitement and pure joy of watching the faces of criminals crumble whilst he was counting their crimes, all while dodging their attacks, then reciting them their rights and means and then getting them slip on thin sheet of ice he had created for some runners, trying escape justice.
he never truly understood the use of brute force in such cases. sure, effective. but, archons, sooo booooring. he could watch them turning from smug to horrified, he could kneel them by simple words, gently placating any argument they could've put up, because while he didn't look intimidating at first, his mind sure made others trembling.
he smiles and bids Yelan farewell, kissing her hand just as any gentleman would; Yelan jokingly flicks her fingers at him, splashing a bit of water on his face, and he laughs. they part their ways, and Kaeya trots down the road, humming a cheerful bit under his breath.
the thing is that he does these investigations on his own; they're not part of his official duties as a Captain and do not regard Jean as his employer, so he technically just as good as an Outrider, all alone in his stride. it doesn't bother him.
as he had received the needed bit of intel, he can now walk into the camp and start his performance anew, now with the leading hand; the Treasure Hoarders mock him at first, then they gather to attack, and Kaeya clicks his tongue, a little bit annoyed.
he deploys his waltz dancing, sure and proud, but there's... the thing.
he has these so-called fixations. it has been with him since his birth, he thinks. had been called out by Crepus and then Diluc, and they all had figured out when he has the episode of fixation on something (aka the book, the adventure, Sumeru (Crepus gave him an earful and a lot more of goodness grace I should've noticed your obsession, oh Archons above, why Sumeru), and all the like, he's no longer controlling his mind, he's obsessed with one thing and one thing only. but when he had joined the Knights and started crawling under the rugs where all the dirt had been swept under, he had understood his true passion.
investigation, crime solving, detective work, gosh.
that set him off just as good as a drink can, even better. he could go on days and days without decent sleep, with skipping meals, and eventually collapsing afterwards as he had finally wrapped everything neatly and presentably.
when he gives his all to the elemental burst, he realized with a thought second later that he had drained most of his resources days before. he finishes the Treasure Hoarders off, knocking them out cold (yes, pun intended), and chains them by his Cryo to the ground, ensuring the Knights will get to the place at his first notice. for an extended effort, he also ties them one by one and leaves far from each other.
then, he stands up, dusts his pants, makes a step, and wonders why the hell the ground is so close, before everything goes to black, to his immeasurable dismay.
he wakes up with a start, and by all means, it shouldn't be that long, given the fact that Treasure Hoarders are still unconscious. he smacks his lips and brushes his face only to get off some dirt off. his headache hasn't dissipated, instead turning to throbbing, and he feels slightly nauseous, probably because his senses are coming to and demanding what's due. and what they demand is bath, food, sleep.
but first, some papers and sending Knights to collect the criminals wanted in Liyue. and a letter to Yelan, ensuring her that his part of the deal is done and he's all that happy if the Knights will receive the compensation. it's what they agreed upon, after all.
the walk is strangely harder than he thinks it should be. he's shaky, slightly wobbly, and his ears ring, and he's a little bit unsure why his eyesight is blurry on edges, but again, prolonged periods of time without any rest and with little to no sleep will do to you plethora of things, so he doesn't really worry about it much.
Kaeya passes by the Mondstadtian walls through the side gates, minding his probably disheveled appearance, gets to the Headquarters, then his office where he writes the letter and sends it with his darling bird Afternoon to Yelan, then gathers some strength to stand up again and catches a knight to give him an order of collecting the criminals near the Stone Gates.
the knight gives him a horrified look and asks if he needs to sit.
Kaeya arches a brow. what for?
"I don't think so, Atos. I'll get some sleep after I'm done with the job for today. gather a crew and get the criminals to the cells safely. there's seven of them, and the leader has a red gloves and a scar on his temple. don't roughhouse with them, they're Liyuan citizens."
Atos listens, nods, then casts a glance aside, takes a deep breath, and yells in the full power of his, truly, humongous lungs "ACTING GRANDMASTER JEAN!" which genuinely startles Kaeya so much he sways and Atos looks twice as horrified and rushes him to the ground to sit.
instead of Jean, however, appears Diluc, and his look, too, from slightly annoyed turns to ohmygod we're fucked in a matter of milliseconds, then appears Jean, and she's yelping alright, so Kaeya turns to his side and vomits, overwhelmed by the sounds, and skedaddles on his butt away from them, avoiding the mess he had made.
"I have no frigging clue why you're so worked up," he mumbles, his back colliding with the wall and sending stars in his vision, blinding him. "can you, for the Barbatos' sake, keep it a little quieter?"
Diluc lowers on his level, and they all hear a loud 'pop' his knees make, and Kaeya can't help but muse a tad how old Diluc is truly. surely a grandpa, with such grumpiness.
"you have a concussion," Diluc says, voice quiet, "and you look like you've basically bathed in your blood alright. don't you... feel it, no? Kaeya?"
"you're talking nonsense," Kaeya states. "Jean. he needs medical attention ASAP. all that I have is the aftermath of going on in the fixation episode of mine for, like, maybe two weeks. but I've planned to finish my job first then head off to bed."
Diluc grunts, loudly. Jean is looking frantic. Atos is praying. hm.
"we need to get you in the infirmary now," she says. Kaeya rolls his eye, and his body just does the dumb switch-off, so the dizziness hits him like a Snezhnayan train on full speed, and he shoots straight to the floor, and then he's out, cold.
"so, to sum it up," Jean says, pinching bridge of the nose, "you went off alone, with no reinforcement, with little to no decent sleep, proper meals, overworked, in the frenzy of investigation, cleaned the camp, collapsed, and haven't decided to check up on yourself because you've already felt like shit?"
"he's dumb, but he's smart, but so dumb," says Diluc, and Kaeya stares, wishing it could burr a hole in Diluc's head. "forgive him. but I'm taking that idiot with myself to the Winery, so Adelinde will scold him to her heart's content."
"I'm right here," he hisses. "goodness, what's all the ruckus about. hit a pretty little head of mine, all that, not a big deal. but you're hovering as if I'm about to bid farewell and departure," he huffs, ignoring Diluc's startled look and his hand squeezing his a little too rough.
Barbara clicks her tongue.
"should I remind you, sir Kaeya, that in first two hours after getting to the Cathedral you had a seizure, confused master Diluc for master Crepus, vomited three times, passed out two more, and stabilized only after six hours. I shall say, that's impressive of you to say there's nothing to fuss about."
"I still don't get it," he murmurs. "it still might be the result of prolonged overworking and overexertion, so. let me go home, I just need to sleep it off."
Diluc raises his hand with his mouth agape, then chooses to shut it and facepalms instead, groaning. Jean is looking a second away from aging a thousand years, massing her temples. Albedo, who had been invited after he had a seizure and had been in a need for potions, observes him like a suspiciously cute yet absolutely deranged mouse he's watching in his laboratory with a tablet in his hand, scribbling something.
Barbara chooses to splash a generous amount of water on him instead of wording her frustration like would any other full-fledged adult. Jean mutters something under her nose and then states.
"Diluc, I'm giving you my written permission to take him to the Winery and force him on medical leave for... Barbara?" Barbara pierces Kaeya with her eyes like daggers and seethes, not breaking an eye contact, that he's out of commission for month.
Kaeya murmurs "I'll get your bed icy the moment you turn away and no Adelinde will help you. I'll get her on my side." Diluc eyes him, unimpressed.
