throbbing, terrible headache that threatened to tip them over. not a good way to start the morning, but it was better than staring at the ceiling, feeling wavy and bland. they blink, tries to adjust eyes but it’s a pointless mission. it’s too damn bright. they attempt sitting up but that’s hard enough. flops back down and tries to roll over on their side, but there’s something there. books? no books were hard and hurt their side and they could kick those off. materials? no. not that either. still hard, still made their side hurt. they bring their eyes open, just a smidge, then blows them wide open. their mouth gapes, garish and wild. okay, no, that’s not what happened was it. something else, not that. something? oh merlin.
“promise we will never speak of this. ever. we’ll both claim drunken stupidity and obliviate ourselves. fair?”
She had been sound asleep. Past tense. First the bed started shaking, quivering under the weight of a frantic body. Severus was nudging her, poking her, kicking her. And then they started speaking. She wanted to punch them in the face. Instead, she settled for rolling into their chest and poking them fiercely in the ribs.
“Obliviate nothing,” she mumbled, tucking her face into their neck, the words coming out hot and breathy. There were so many other things she wanted to say, to tell Severus it was just as fun as it had always been, that her wedding ring was just a piece of jewelry, what a happy new year this was turning out to be. Instead she just latched onto them – moulded herself to fit them, an only semi-removable attachment, one that came prepackaged together with the original but you somehow still found yourself paying extra for – and inhaled deeply, taking in their familiar scent, letting it fill her lungs.
“Can you please go back to sleep, my love?” That was the only other thing she could bring herself to say, now clinging so tightly she was almost on top of them, spread out across them, across the small bed and almost dangling over the edge. Her own eyes couldn’t stay open anymore. She tried to force herself, staring at the patch of white wall just behind Severus’ head, but eventually her lids fluttered shut and she nestled somehow further into them, into their warmth. She wanted to go back to sleep, nothing more than a few minutes more sleep.
No this was too much. They were not gentle with the process of tugging their body away, rolling off the bed. Their head spun, but they didn’t care. This was crazy. This was one of those stupid, impulsive things of theirs. A mistake built on five seconds of lust that would’ve passed if they had given themselves a chance to think it through. They take in awkward breaths of air, trying to think but it’s hard. What happened last night?
They drank too much, they spoke too loudly then they - Oh, yes this was perfect. This here was perfect. Emma was in their bed, moving about as if she belonged there and they’re not sure if they want her to leave. They bring their nails to their mouth, close to biting before jerking them away. “No, no. You have to go. You have a husband and a life and a reputation. Merlin, Emma, what were we thinking?” See that’s the thing. They weren’t thinking. They were going off a fleeting emotion, a little firewhiskey in the veins mixed with his own passion for self destruction.
They stand up and give the room a haphazard search. Bra, panties, something that may be theirs or hers. They toss her things onto the bed. “Up, up. Breakfast, then we figure this nonsense out then we ... we don’t ever talk about it.” Sex was like self-harm for them. Better to writhe underneath a stranger or a friend than ruin their arms and legs. Their favorite form of self-destruction did just that. Destroyed them, made them feel worth something and nothing. They gag at their own cliches. “Emma please. Don’t do this to me. I don’t want this.”
