Heaven is a bedroom (shane/ilya, 18k, M)
Jaw Man flicked his middle finger up at Ilya, who didn’t seem to mind, and gestured towards Shane and Hayden with raised eyebrows. “The f*** are you even doing right now, man.”
Ilya said briefly, “Orgy.”
“Uh,” said Shane, “no, that’s not—”
Ilya grinned at him. It was a mean-edged grin but something about it seemed to suggest that he was joking with Shane, rather than about him. “Oh, he speaks.”
“We’re not here for an orgy,” Shane said to Jaw Man. “We’re missionaries with the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.”
with massive thanks to @theburialofstrawberries, @tackytigerfic, @enparallel, @myrtlefics, @goblinmatriarch, @elskanellis, and maz !











