AND the Tiger Poster

a life's account by the one who lived it

[andthetigerposter]

[andthetigerposter]

if u hate being nice so much just be a bitch already & stop whining

[andthetigerposter]

OH MY GODDDDDD GET OVER YOURSELF

[andthetigerposter]

Its sad that in death all my pain, my distress is not even a curiosity. It is commonplace & everyone carries a little, and it kills some of us, and that is the deal humanity struck with the devil

[andthetigerposter]

I'm so glad you made up with your other friends you like better and im pissed at myself for thinking maybe you would still have time for me

[andthetigerposter]

I'm happy my friends are doing well but I really do miss them and it hurts to know I'll never be better with them. They may even come to visit me in my misery for a while, but at the end of the day they can leave and I cannot. And I can never tell them it hurts me when they leave, though they must know. I cannot say that in my lonely heart, I wish they were mired with me in hell.

I think about this time of year, some years ago, when I was counting down to new years with the intent to kill myself without ruining the winter holidays for my family. Obviously I didn't die that year but sometimes I ask myself, have the years following been worth it? Have I ever been happy?

[andthetigerposter]

I ❤️ checking my friends' tumblr accounts where they write amazing soul-bearing posts about things they've never told me and I wonder if they remember sharing their username in our shared public space and I wonder if they remember me telling them that I had to delete my tumblr because being on tumblr was making me sad and when they post. do they post thinking I won't see it? would they be mad? it feels more likely that they don't think of me much at all.

I hate the feeling the power imbalance of sharing your worst with someone in your lowest moments and they never tell you anything important about themselves in return. I regret being so open.

[andthetigerposter]

so I had a weird little experience where I went to change my known alt account's username

I type the new one in and it's all "username unavailable" and im sad for a moment before on a whim I look up the account

"huh that looks a lot like an icon I would use"

it was in fact me

not super surprising but I thought I deleted them all