andy-is-pathetic @andy-is-pathetic - Tumblr Blog

why is it so difficult? everything hurts all of the time and I’m so tired. i just want it to be over.

also the girl I met in the psych ward is here and she’s like, telling everyone that’s how she knows me, even though i didnt even tell my closest friends about that. and she said something to one of the church leaders and they pulled me aside to ASK IF THEY COULD SEE MY SCARS and also to pray for me, and I said i wasn’t religious, so then THREE OTHER CHURCH LEADERS STARTED LECTURING ME?

also related to things i did when i was younger, i have two holes i punched into my wall in my moms house that’s covered up by a poster of a kpop group i dont even like anymore, and another one covered by a bi pride flag T-T

skidfarts

Quit my eating disorder and self harm to focus on my drinking and smoking

ever since i was a little girl I knew i was fucking crazy i used to bang my head into the wall when i got angry or overwhelmed, which is probably the source of my current near constant headaches now that i think about it

as much as I hate my mother, she’s gotten better over the years. it used to be much worse. not better enough for me to ever forgive her tho

i’d rather hurt myself than the people around me, so i guess it’s better this way

i used to get really angry at everything, but now i just get sad.

they should invent parents that dont want you dead

every time im a little upset, my mom thinks im having an entire breakdown, but instead of being nicer to me because she believes im in distress, she yells at me and threatens to send me back to the hospital, which never fails to make me have a breakdown

i really want to die, everything about being alive makes me sick

i wouldnt even blame you if you left

I have this blog bc I don’t want to bother any particular person when I vent, but also i think i would enjoy it i could talk to someone instead of The Void that is the internet, but also idk what i would say. it’s okay to whine when no one is listening/cares but i just feel so annoying to ask the people that i care about to listen to my traumas

im genuinely about to end my life when i get home i can’t do this

i think maybe i have to evaluate why i feel this way

lemon-labia

substance abuse summer

while ive been here, i also ran into a boy i went to middle school with and for 3 years harassed me basically nonstop, and tried to rape me. apparently, he’s become a real leader in his church and pulled me aside to say he’s changed. and im supposed to forgive him because he found god? i really want to die i hate it here

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