Now that everyone who followed this blog is gone I feel okay saying this.
I am severely hurt at how they left. I was blocked out of an emotional episode and never given a proper apology from P, but I forgave him. Because I knew it was okay. But I ended things well with I, and she still also blocked me later after.
It feels bad to know how poorly they probably think of me because that isn't what I want. If I had a single more chance to even give them a proper, positive goodbye, I would've taken it, but I can't now.
The one thing they promised a thousand times they would never do was abandon me.
And I have nothing left now. I cannot pretend to care about being here. I already gave up, I relapsed, I said my irl goodbyes. I have nothing left, and I am not going to live like this. Not anymore. Not when I couldn't even get a good ending to the only thing in my entire life I held dear.
I love you Pip, and I love you Indy. And I will never be able too again.
