**Little, depressing facts about me**
I'm a tiny human in a big world. yet, the world sometimes feels so small.
I get stood up SO often. Like you wouldn't believe. It gets me thinking, "am I really THAT irrelevant?"
I keep falling in love with people who seem to be too far away. In any way you can or want to interpret that, you'll probably get it right. 💔
"Fall in love." Yes, I take that quite literally. I fucking FALL. Head first, no hands. I scrape my whole fucking body against the ground, bleed it all out, and stay down there for a while until I feel like I'm good to stand and try to walk again. Each time I do, though, I'm a little more fucked up.
Considering the previous fact, though, I do believe I know how to love. I would go out of my way to spare someone from suffering, and would rather see them thrive and be happy even if that means I'm not going to be a part of that happiness... I have actually said AND meant "I'm happy if you are"
Boys tell me "you seem like an interesting girl." "I'd like to get to know you", "let's go out"... that is, until I say "I would just like to be friends." Cause the truth is, I NEED friends... then, guess I'm no longer interesting.
I honestly think when I die, it will be my own doing. That's also my boggart.
Since I was in elementary school, Edgar Allan Poe became one of my favorites. One of his poems has this fragment that reads: "being young and dipped in folly, I fell in love with melancholy", (excuse me if it's not EXACTLY ACCURATE, i just remember it by 🖤) and that resonates so deeply with me, it makes my chest ache every time I read it. I have wanted to get it tattooed for years now.
I know nobody's probably going to read this, I just want to cleanse all that's circling my mind right now.
I cry SO easily with Disney movies (specially Moana) and while listening to Radiohead. I mean that last one makes sense, honestly.
No matter how depressive, angsty anxious or disturbed I am deep within, I'm always the soul of parties (when I do attend), have a bubbly personality, have extraordinary comforting abilities, give great life advice, have a witty sense of humor and am actually extremely silly and goofy.
Dealing with anxiety and depression from a young age (not to mention bullying, but hey, who hasn't) has taught me to appreciate the really important people, moments and decisions in life, regardless of what others might think. Also to enjoy the small details in life that make you smile out of nowhere and that are completely random, that you know probably aren't gonna happen a second time. 🖤🖤🖤
That's all I can think about right now.
I'll do another one some other time. maybe even a happy one ✌️😊
jacobvanloon
theartofmadeline
jbbartram-illu
tangentwithtanner
kaledo-art
andulkaphoto
