a nest of stars

Translations of stories by ***(three asterisks), with accompanying illustrations. AO3 archive below.

[anestofstars]

Welcome to a nest of stars.

Snarry translations of stories by ***(three asterisks), with accompanying illustrations.

AO3 archive: https://archiveofourown.org/users/three_asterisks/works

Carrd:

WHERE SURI'S STORIES REST, AND OURS CONTINUE.

[anestofstars]

Illustration by Tano — “Tell Me Why You Were Crying That Day”

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What Was Confeito, Really?

What was Confeito really about? This article explores the story’s mysteries, mirror structure, symbolism, and the question that lies at its heart: What did Snape really think of Harry?

Article by Tano

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It has now been six months since I posted the English translation of Confeito.

To mark the occasion, I recreated another commemorative illustration. This one was originally drawn to celebrate the first month after Confeito was posted.

Originally posted on January 27, 2026.

I think the illustration I drew for Confeito‘s one-month anniversary turned out better than the one I drew to celebrate 1,000 hits.

Since then, I’ve spent another six months studying and practicing drawing, and I feel I’ve improved quite a bit more. I hope this recreated version captures Suri’s world well.

This time, I’d like to take a look at what Confeito was really about.

This article contains spoilers, so if you haven’t read the story yet, I recommend reading it first.

Read on AO3: Confeito

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How the Story Came About

As I mentioned in my previous article, this story was inspired by Sia’s song Confetti.

The resentment toward a lover’s betrayal, the confrontation that follows, and the determination to move forward independently all became part of the inspiration for the character of Louise Frois.

To talk about Confeito, though, I first need to explain how its author, Suri, came to write Snarry.

After watching the Harry Potter films, she became fixated on one question:

What did Snape really think of Harry?

In Suri’s view, when Dumbledore told Snape that Harry would have to die, Snape’s anger did not come from affection for Harry. Rather, it came from realizing that Dumbledore had not been protecting Harry out of respect for Lily’s final wish, but had kept him alive as part of his plan to defeat Voldemort. To Snape, Lily’s wish had been treated as secondary.

Suri also believed that Snape’s feelings toward Lily resembled both atonement and faith. Because of that, he would never have allowed himself to develop feelings for Harry. If Lily was the object of that devotion, there could be no room for anyone else.

Even so, was it really true that he felt nothing for Harry?

She was also deeply struck by the fact that Harry named one of his sons Albus Severus Potter.

Searching for an answer to these questions, she read countless fanfictions. Eventually, she began writing herself in the hope of finding one.

Confeito is one attempt to answer that question.

Did Snape truly have no affection for Harry? What really existed between them?

Confeito was written as a mystery that explores those questions.

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promotional image

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Something That Cannot Be Denied

Unlike many Snarry stories, Confeito contains none of the sweet romantic interactions that often appear between Harry and Snape.

Its protagonist is an original character, Cathy Marlowe, who serves as Harry’s secretary. Harry’s partner is Ginny, just as she is in the original series and Harry Potter and the Cursed Child.

Because Cathy’s job is to preserve Harry’s image as the hero the public expects him to be, and because she is also Ginny’s close friend, she has grown weary of the Snarry boom and the unreserved praise for Snape that often comes with it. In other words, the protagonist herself stands in direct opposition to Snarry.

And yet, by the end of the story, even Cathy can no longer deny that there was something between Harry and Snape.

Whatever that “something” may have been, one fact remains unchanged:

Snape left behind a child whom he wanted to name Harry.

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The Past Cannot Be Changed, but Its Meaning Can

During the war, Cathy escaped to the Muggle world instead of fighting. As a result, she is looked down upon in the wizarding world as a woman who did not take part in the war. There is probably also some resentment that someone like her has been given the position of Harry Potter’s secretary.

Neither Kingsley nor Harry is particularly kind to Cathy.

As the story unfolds, however, Cathy learns that her reputation as “the secretary Harry Potter can’t stand” was actually a cover story. It existed to protect her from becoming a target for kidnapping or attack as “Harry Potter’s valued secretary.”

Of course, considering when this truth comes to light, it is also possible that Kingsley simply could not afford to lose Cathy, since she was essential to keeping the situation under control. Harry also becomes gentler toward Cathy, though it is difficult to say that there wasn’t at least some self-interest behind the change. After all, he still needed Cathy to go along with what he wanted.

Even so, learning the truth allows Cathy to feel that the three and a half years she spent feeling miserable had finally been worthwhile.

Emily experiences the same thing Cathy does: on that same day, she, too, finds that the meaning of her past has changed.

When she first appears in the lift, Emily comes across as an arrogant, proud young colleague. Like many of the other women around Harry, she seems to be someone who wants to get close to the famous hero. She is openly hostile toward Cathy, and the two part after a quiet exchange of barbed remarks.

By the end of that same day, however, Cathy’s understanding of her own past with Emily has completely changed.

Emily once had a girlfriend named Cathy, a pure-blood witch who lost her life during the Battle of Hogwarts.

It turns out that Emily’s prickly attitude came from something much more complicated. Faced with someone who shared both the name and, to some extent, the appearance of the woman she had loved, she simply did not know how to treat her.

As a result, Cathy’s memories of her relationship with Emily take on an entirely different meaning. What she had taken to be hostility was, in fact, born from Emily’s grief and from not knowing how to act around someone who reminded her so deeply of the person she had lost.

But Emily’s own understanding of the past changes that day as well.

For three and a half years, she had wished she could see her late girlfriend again, even if only in a dream. At last, it seemed that wish might come true. The dream brought her back to the night they had danced together—what Emily considered her happiest memory. Yet before Cathy appeared wearing her dress, Emily ran away from the dream herself.

In doing so, she lost what had been her most precious memory.

Looking back at the lift scene after learning this, Emily’s red nose no longer seems as though it was simply caused by the cold. Perhaps she had been crying over that loss.

Looking more carefully, her attitude is not driven by jealousy toward Cathy for being close to Harry, nor by jealousy toward Ginny. Instead, it seems to come from envy that Ginny is able to be close to Cathy, and from resentment toward Harry for treating Cathy so poorly.

In this way, as we continue reading, we experience the same thing the characters do: earlier events come to be understood in a completely different way.

What happened cannot be changed. But depending on how we interpret it, the past can become either a sweet memory or a painful one.

Because we experience the story through Cathy, an unreliable narrator, we cannot help but see the world through her assumptions and biases. Depending on a person’s perspective and on what they know, the same events and the same people can leave completely different impressions.

That, too, seems to be one of the themes of this story.

The question, then, is what this means for Harry.

Nothing can erase the fact that Snape treated Harry harshly. In the original series, Harry’s view of Snape changed after learning that Snape had risked his life for Lily.

But Snape is already dead.

He can never apologize to Harry for what he did. Nor can Harry ever let Snape know that he received and understood the memories Snape entrusted to him before his death.

Time can no longer move forward for either of them. Their shared past can never be changed.

From Hermione’s observations, from the testimony of those around him, and from what Cathy herself witnesses, Harry speaks of Snape with gratitude and forgiveness. Even so, the people around him cannot help feeling that he is forcing himself.

Near the end of the story, Harry says:

“The truth I learned that day wasn’t enough to heal me.”

After learning that Snape had fathered a child, and that he had wanted to name that child Harry, how did Harry’s understanding of his own past with Snape change?

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A Story of Mirrors

Throughout Confeito, many scenes are arranged as mirror images of one another.

On the day Cathy’s understanding of her past changes, Emily loses what had been her happiest memory. On the day Harry takes in a baby named Harry, Cathy learns that Emily’s late girlfriend was also named Cathy.

When Harry asks Cathy, “Complicated?” to put her feelings into words, Cathy later echoes the same question back to Harry, asking, “Complicated?” as she tries to understand his feelings.

Near the end of the story, we also learn that the mother who abused Cathy was named Emily. Cathy’s instinctive discomfort around Emily was not simply because she had to keep Harry’s secrets as his secretary. Emily’s name itself reminded Cathy of her mother.

In that sense, the relationship between Cathy and Emily can also be seen as a mirror of the relationship between Snape and Harry.

There is an age difference between them. Emily sees the woman she loved in Cathy. They are both women. And both carry wounds from their past.

I cannot help wondering whether Cathy and Emily represent the future that Snape and Harry might have had if Snape had survived.

To me, Cathy seems like a rather difficult person. Perhaps because of the lasting effects of the abuse she suffered as a child, once she begins to trust someone even a little, her sense of distance becomes unusual. She talks rapidly about herself for long stretches, and sometimes interrupts the flow of a conversation simply to repeat a phrase she happens to find amusing. It feels as though her personality never had the chance to develop in a healthy way.

She also shows signs of dissociation, such as the world losing its colour around her, and symptoms that resemble PTSD, including traumatic memories of the war resurfacing whenever Kingsley summons her. Her abusive mother is still alive and continues to be violent toward her whenever they meet.

At the moment, these issues do not become a major problem because Emily seems to have completely fallen in love with Cathy. Sooner or later, however, if they are to stay together, they will have to face Cathy’s emotional wounds.

In an earlier draft of the story, there was a scene set on the day Snape’s son entered Hogwarts. In that version, Hermione congratulates Cathy on her marriage to Emily, so the two of them do eventually end up together.

By the time Snape’s son begins at Hogwarts, however, eleven years have passed since the events of this story. That passage of time suggests they had to overcome many difficulties before reaching that future. Even so, they never gave up on their relationship.

If Cathy and Emily are an “what if” version of Snape and Harry, then perhaps, had Snape lived, this might have been the kind of future they could have shared.

Harry, meanwhile, takes in Snape’s son, who is also named Harry. I think this, too, is another mirror within the story.

At the end, Harry looks directly into baby Harry’s black eyes before collapsing to his knees, repeating, “I can’t.”

At that moment, perhaps Harry finally understood exactly what Snape had felt each time he looked into the eyes of the first Harry—the boy with Lily’s eyes.

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Ginny as a Character

In many Snarry stories, Ginny is either portrayed as an obstacle to Harry and Snape’s relationship or written out of the story altogether. In Confeito, however, Ginny remains Harry’s partner in both his public and private life.

Part of the reason is that Suri was very fond of Bonnie Wright, who played Ginny in the films, and that affection is clearly reflected in her writing. More importantly, Confeito was written as a canon-compliant story. Even though it is a Snarry story, Suri chose not to remove Ginny from Harry’s life.

In the opening lift scene, Cathy lands a sharp counterpunch by saying to Emily,

“Mind you, Harry seems to like girls like that—the ones you can’t stand.”

Even before Ginny ever appears in the story, we already begin to sense what kind of person she is. Through Cathy’s own quick wit, through the narration telling us that even the old pure-blood families had come to admire Ginny’s way of meeting cutting remarks with humour, and through the conversations between Cathy and Kingsley, which reveal the complete trust they place in her as Harry’s partner, her presence is already strongly felt long before she ever steps onto the page.

Yet when she thinks she might lose Harry, she blurts out things like,

“Harry, if you’re willing, I think you should just adopt him.”

and

“And if it’s going to cause an uproar that Harry took the baby into his care, then it can be me instead—it can be said that I did.”

She stops worrying about appearances and simply says whatever comes to mind.

Incidentally, this scene also contains another mirrored exchange from the original series:

“What if I don’t care?” “I care.”

Whenever Harry loses his composure, Ginny becomes the calm one. Whenever Ginny loses hers, Harry becomes the calm one. They support one another in that way.

Ginny could almost be described as Harry’s soulmate. And yet she senses that there is a place within Harry that belongs to Snape—a place she herself can never enter.

To me, that speaks to the depth of the bond between Harry and Snape.

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What Was the Relationship Between Harry and Snape?

Confeito is a mystery that explores what existed between Harry and Snape. In the end, however, the only undeniable fact left behind is that Snape wanted to name his son Harry. Beyond that, all we have are the speculation of those around them and Harry’s own reactions. The story ends without offering a definitive answer.

Even so, I think there is something in this story that leads even Cathy—someone who has grown weary of Snarry—to say:

“That was who he was. He couldn’t bring himself to do it—not to the very end. But he never gave up on loving you.”

How much, though, did Harry actually know about what happened?

Throughout the story, there are several moments where Harry behaves in ways that feel deliberately out of place, as though the reader is meant to notice them.

① Harry Loses His Composure Despite His Training

To protect Harry’s safety, Kingsley trained him by repeatedly giving him false reports that Ginny had been kidnapped or killed, so that Harry would learn not to rush off on his own. Through that training, Harry learned to stop, think, and act in that order, even when someone he loved appeared to be in danger.

And yet, when he is presented with the letter that reads,

“The child’s name is ‘Harry.’—Severus Snape.”

and with the baby himself, Harry forgets even about Ginny and immediately decides to leave the wizarding world and live alone with the child.

Why?

If his training and even his life with Ginny were not enough to stop him, then perhaps something far more powerful had shaken him in that moment.

② Was “noticed” really about Ginny?

In the conversation between Harry and Cathy at the cottage in Chapter 2, Harry speaks about how much he loves the life he has now. He also says that, for that life to exist, nothing in his past could have been different, suggesting that he is trying to accept everything that happened to him.

Then he begins to say,

“Otherwise I wouldn’t have met Ron or Hermione. Everything that happened there made me who I am. I don’t think it was good that my parents were killed—of course not. But without all of that, I sometimes wonder if I’d ever have been noticed by—”

Before finishing the sentence, he stops himself.

Almost as if trying to cover what he had been about to say, he quickly adds,

“By Ginny!”

But who had Harry really been talking about?

To me, it feels as though Harry suddenly realized that he had drifted into talking about Snape—or perhaps had almost revealed feelings he did not intend to put into words—and caught himself at the last moment.

③ The Odd Punishment Emily Witnessed

In Chapter 2, Emily tells Cathy about a punishment she once witnessed Snape giving Harry at Hogwarts.

Harry’s punishment was to wash a cauldron that was already clean.

Emily says it was almost like torture, while Cathy suggests that perhaps Snape simply wanted to make sure Harry would not be working with anything dangerous.

When I read this scene, though, something else stood out to me.

It was a punishment with no clear end.

If Harry had been told to clean a dirty cauldron, he would have been free to return to his dormitory as soon as it was clean.

But if the cauldron was already clean, then the punishment could never end unless Snape himself decided it was over.

Another detail that caught my attention is that Harry seems to know where Snape is. Realizing that Emily has come to deliver a report to Snape, he immediately tells her where Snape can be found.

Snape keeps Harry within his sphere of influence. In a sense, that is its own form of restraint.

And Emily witnessed only one brief moment.

Was that really all there was to it?

Hermione and the others also remark that Harry always seemed odd after serving detention with Snape.

It makes me wonder whether something more existed between them.

④ The Parchment Bearing Harry’s Signature

On the drive to see Louise in Chapter 3, Cathy explains that documents from the wizarding world appear to Muggles as nothing more than ink stains on parchment.

Later, that earlier explanation comes back during Miss Johnson’s conversation with Cathy, when she tells Cathy about a piece of parchment Louise found hidden in Snape’s house.

Because Louise was a Muggle, she had no way of knowing what was written on it.

The only thing we know is that it bore Harry’s signature, and that it had been hidden somewhere in Snape’s house where it would not be easily found.

When Miss Johnson presses Harry about his relationship with Snape, he responds by denying that there was any such relationship rather than explaining why the document was there.

Was it really nothing more than one of Harry’s old essays from Hogwarts that had somehow survived the Ministry’s clean-up?

⑤ Harry’s Curious Remarks

In Chapter 3, just before Harry goes to see Louise, Cathy questions him about his relationship with Snape.

The tension between them is interrupted by a phone call from Emily to Cathy.

After Cathy ends the call, Harry falls silent for a moment before saying,

“When this gets out—do you think they’ll say he and I were… like that?” Harry spoke quietly, as if reminiscing. “That’s what everyone likes, isn’t it? Me and him—people love that sort of story. Then what am I, in that story? The one he left behind? He has a child with another woman now. Or do you think I’ve been seeing him all this time—hiding it from Kingsley, from you? That we used a Muggle woman just to have ‘our own’ child? His son’s name is Harry, after all.”

Why does Harry say something like this at this particular moment?

Immediately afterward, he changes the subject to Cathy and Emily, and never explains what he meant.

How much did Harry know about Snape’s plan?

There is one more remark that strikes me as equally puzzling.

When Miss Johnson presses Harry about his relationship with Snape, Harry says,

“I just wanted to ask why he did that to me.”

Watching this, Cathy thinks:

She wondered what “that” meant. Ordinarily, that would mean naming the baby Harry—but to Cathy, it felt as though he was speaking of something far older, buried deep in the past.

I don’t know how much Harry knew, but I think it is possible that he knew something about Snape’s plan—or was involved in it in some way.

What I find difficult to understand is this:

If, as Miss Johnson explains, Snape set his plan in motion after learning that Harry would have to die, would naming his own child Harry really have been enough?

If his goal was to preserve Harry’s existence, wouldn’t he have wanted to preserve Harry’s genes—and, by extension, Lily’s?

The baby Harry was conceived through IVF using sperm that was said to have been donated by Snape and Louise’s egg, and was carried by a surrogate.

But was it really Snape’s sperm that had been donated?

Of course, baby Harry has Snape’s black eyes and shows signs of magical ability. He also possesses Snape’s genetic traits.

Still, Suri once said that “the answer to this mystery lies entirely in the fact that this story is tagged Snarry.”

She also said, “Whatever you can imagine happened, you may assume that it did.”

My interpretation is only one possibility. But I do think that something happened between the two of them.

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Always

One line that offers a glimpse of Harry’s feelings toward Snape is the word always.

“Always” is, of course, the word that represents Snape’s love for Lily. Yet in this story, it appears in Harry’s words about Snape.

“Snape was good at finding me—always.”

I cannot help wondering whether there is a wish hidden in that line—a wish for the word always, once spoken of Snape’s feelings for Lily, to become something that also belongs to Harry.

The story itself also ends with the word always, which makes me feel that Suri placed it there quite deliberately.

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Louise Frois

Louise, whose character was inspired by the woman in Sia’s Confetti as well as by the historical figure Luís Fróis, who introduced confeito (Portuguese sugar candy) to Japan.

Her background closely parallels Harry’s. She lost her parents at a young age and was raised by relatives who gave her little real affection. Because of that, she longs for a family of her own.

In a sense, just as Cathy and Emily can be read as a metaphor for Snape and Harry, I think the relationship between Snape and Louise also reflects them.

Perhaps it exists to show that Harry could not help being drawn to Snape, and that Snape, in turn, could not help caring about Harry.

Yet regardless of what Snape truly intended—which the story never reveals—what Louise is ultimately left with is the conviction that she was used by him.

Louise comes to believe that Snape approached her for one reason alone: he wanted to preserve Harry’s existence even after Harry was gone, by continuing to speak the name “Harry” with love through his child.

That belief turns into love mixed with hatred.

Already weakened by terminal cancer, Louise concludes that she had simply been an easy woman for Snape to take advantage of.

What she did cannot be called ethically right.

Having grown up with relatives who raised her only because they wanted her inheritance, she herself should have hated the idea of bringing a child into the world as part of an act of revenge more than anyone.

But after Snape disappeared, and with it her hope of building a family, the dream she had long cherished was shattered.

It is true that the frozen embryos still existed. She could still have had a child and built a family.

But with so little time left to live, she could no longer find hope in that possibility.

To Louise, Snape’s betrayal must have felt as though he had destroyed her last chance.

Especially for someone with terminal cancer, emotional support is enormously important. It is easy for those of us who are healthy to say what the right choice would have been. But I do not think Louise was in a position where she could make that choice.

That does not mean what she did should be justified.

Rather, I think this, too, is part of the central theme of Confeito: what we do with things that have already happened and can no longer be undone.

As I mentioned in my previous article, perhaps Louise was given the name “Frois” because she is the one who ultimately brings Confeito into the world—just as Luís Fróis brought confeito to Japan.

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What Will Become of the Custody Battle?

Whatever the relationship between Snape and Harry may have been, Harry is about to become involved in a bitter legal battle over who should become baby Harry’s guardian.

From Louise’s perspective, even if she were no longer alive, forcing Harry to testify publicly about his relationship with Snape would be her final act of revenge.

If her written statement is taken at face value, then the story becomes this: because Snape and Harry could not have a child together, Snape took advantage of Louise—a terminally ill woman who longed for a family—and had a child with her instead.

Of course, it was ultimately Louise who made the final decision to have the child, and she herself would certainly face criticism for that choice.

Even so, many people would likely see it as a gay couple exploiting a terminally ill woman with little time left to live and a deep desire for a family. The fact that Snape had been Harry’s teacher, together with the rumours surrounding a relationship that supposedly began while Harry was still underage, would only add to the public condemnation.

The wizarding world would also demand answers from Harry.

Whatever Harry’s true feelings may be, and whatever the truth may actually be, he would have little choice but to acknowledge some kind of relationship with Snape in court in order to secure custody for the child, since the Ministry is responsible for protecting orphaned magical children and Louise’s will names Harry’s genetic mother as the preferred guardian.

In a rather frightening way, the Snarry that so many readers have wished for would become reality.

Confeito ultimately leads into Harry Potter and the Cursed Child, so Harry does not end up raising Snape’s son himself. Even so, he will surely continue to support him as his guardian.

Seen in that light, Harry later naming his own son Severus also becomes part of the story’s mirrored structure.

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Finding the Wave That Soaked Your Shoes

Confeito opens with the poem about the waves that also serves as the story’s epigraph, and it closes with another poem about the sea.

At the beginning, the poem speaks of trying to walk without letting the waves soak your shoes, only to be caught by a larger wave without warning.

It foreshadows the unexpected turmoil that begins when Cathy receives the news of the hero’s disappearance.

By the end of the story, however, the poem has changed.

Now it speaks of walking along the shore, searching for the wave that soaked your shoes within the sea itself.

And because you continue walking along the water’s edge, your shoes are soaked again.

The story becomes a circle.

When you return to the opening poem after finishing the story, it no longer feels quite the same.

It makes us wonder whether we truly wished to keep our shoes dry in the first place.

Harry can do nothing but continue searching the sea for the meaning behind the fact that Snape named his son Harry—the wave that soaked his shoes.

And perhaps he chooses to go on living with those shoes still wet.

Just as Harry does, perhaps we, too, will keep searching this story for the reason why.

Suri

Perhaps that is why we continue doing what we do as well.

We want to find the wave that soaked Suri’s shoes.

What was Suri searching for?

Why did she write this story?

We know we may never find the answer.

And yet, we keep searching for that wave.

Article by Tano

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Read on AO3: Confeito

[anestofstars]

Illustration by Tano — I still remember the scent of your embrace.

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Translation Notes on Confeito

While translating this 58,700-word Japanese Snarry novel, we ended up researching British law, Chaucer, and Christian culture.

Article by Tano

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It has been six months since the English translation of Confeito was posted on AO3.

To match the story’s timeline, the chapters were posted over three consecutive days starting on Christmas Day, December 25th (while five days pass in the story itself).

Have you read it yet?

This post contains spoilers, so I recommend reading the story before continuing.

Read on Ao3 : Confeito

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To celebrate the six-month anniversary, I revisited and recreated the artwork originally made in celebration of 1,000 hits.

The original artwork was posted on January 12, 2026.

Wanting to recreate the world of Suri’s stories, I’ve spent the past six months not only translating and restoring unpublished works, but also learning how to draw through YouTube tutorials.

Along the way, I’ve learned a great deal about Procreate, different brush techniques, and digital illustration. 

I also purchased the brush set created by the instructor of this course, and the lessons helped me improve my coloring skills tremendously. (The course is in Japanese, but English subtitles are available.)

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Recently, a friend named Shii, who isn’t a member of the project team, told one of her friends that I’ve been learning to draw. After hearing about it, she kindly recommended an art book to me.

I’m excited to keep learning and improving ʘʘ

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You may be wondering, “Was there ever a scene like this in the story?”

Confeito is a mystery story that gradually uncovers what happened between Harry and Snape.

However, Suri often said that the fact that the story carries the Snarry tag is itself the answer. That idea inspired the composition of this illustration.

In any case, once the truth comes to light—the existence of Snape’s child, the fact that the baby is named Harry, and the contents of Louise’s will—the Daily Prophet would almost certainly put a photograph like this on its front page.

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Translation Notes

We are translating ***(three asterisks)’s Snarry fanfiction, originally written in Japanese, into English.

Confeito is the second work in our translation project. At approximately 58,700 words, it is a full-length mystery novel that explores themes of religion, law, and morality.

The story begins on Christmas morning, three and a half years after the Battle of Hogwarts. It is written in the third person from the perspective of Cathy Marlowe, Harry’s secretary and an original character.

Although the original story was carefully researched and incorporates elements of British law, we revisited much of that research during the translation process to ensure accuracy and naturalness in English.

Suri was not the kind of writer who worked from a detailed outline. In fact, from what we’ve heard, Confeito was completed in roughly ten days, including the time spent researching for it.

Because of that, one of our first tasks as translators was to map out the story’s timeline so that we could fully understand how all the events fit together. We also created glossaries to keep the spelling of names, places, and other terms consistent throughout the translation.

Another challenge was maintaining the novel’s point of view. Since the story is told in the third person from Cathy Marlowe’s perspective, we had to be careful not to let the “camera” drift away from Cathy. We also paid close attention to conventions of English-language fiction, including the use of free indirect discourse and narrative distance.

The translation itself took about two months. Our schedule was quite intense because we wanted to post Chapter 1 on December 25th, the same day on which the story begins.

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The Opening Poem

Confeito also opens with a poem in the original Japanese.

It is a beautiful poem, like waves washing onto the shore and then drawing back again. Serving as the story’s epigraph, it captures many of the themes that run throughout the novel.

Suri’s work is often admired for the beauty of its Japanese prose. Whenever we translate one of her stories, we try not only to convey the meaning of the words, but also to recreate the sense of beauty that Japanese readers experience when reading her work.

We hope English-speaking readers can enjoy not only the story itself, but also some of what makes Suri’s writing so special.

This time, too, I faced the challenge of how to bring the poem’s beauty and symbolism into English.

At first, I translated the Japanese text directly. However, the work soon became difficult, as there were places where no English expression could convey exactly what was being expressed in Japanese.

Around that time, one of our team members, Luca, had begun reading The Canterbury Tales for a Harry Potter analysis she was writing. As part of that work, she was also tracing the history of writing systems and the origins of irony.

The Canterbury Tales is a collection of stories written in Middle English by Geoffrey Chaucer, often called the father of English literature.

To me, it feels like a forerunner of English irony. Rather than criticizing people directly, it criticizes them indirectly, giving readers the intellectual pleasure of recognizing the author’s intent for themselves.

Japan also has a culture similar to English irony in Kyoto, known as Kyoto speech. Kyoto is also where works of Japanese literature such as The Pillow Book and The Tale of Genji were created.

Suri’s works are also often built around techniques such as the unreliable narrator and a style that does not state everything directly, instead allowing readers to discover things for themselves. Because of that, I thought her work might be particularly well suited to Chaucer’s literary style.

The opening of The Canterbury Tales is written in rhyming couplets, with each pair of lines generally sharing the same rhyme. It is also written in iambic pentameter, so the pattern of syllables is generally consistent throughout.

Because it is written in Middle English, I had trouble finding a website that could read it aloud. As a result, it took some time before I was able to experience the beauty of its metrical structure. Even so, I was struck by how beautifully it is constructed.

Japan also has poetic traditions with established rhythmic patterns, such as tanka, as well as literary traditions that make use of rhyme.

For example, in Japan we learn that “Shōnen Jidai (Boyhood)” by Yōsui Inoue, which appears in school music textbooks, uses techniques such as matching vowel sounds to create pleasing phonetic effects.

Yōsui Inoue was also a co-lyricist of “Yellow Moon” by Akeboshi, which was used as an ending theme for Naruto. It seems that Akeboshi, who admired Inoue’s work, asked him to collaborate on the lyrics.

Suri was a fan of Akeboshi, and some of her works were inspired by his music.

All of this led me to the idea of making the poem rhyme, much like “Shōnen Jidai” by Yōsui Inoue or the opening of The Canterbury Tales.

J. K. Rowling has acknowledged that “The Tale of the Three Brothers” in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows was influenced by Chaucer’s Pardoner’s Tale, so I thought it might be interesting to include a poem inspired by The Canterbury Tales in a Harry Potter fanfiction.

And this was the result.

There are such days that rise upon you like the tide, You pick your way along the waterside; You think your shoes will somehow still keep dry, Then up the beach a sudden wave runs high.  In moments such as these, most people flee, Yet who has ever outrun all the sea? It hits with all its weight, one heavy blow, Then leaves a softer wash that creeps in slow, And laps the sand, then hesitates and stops A breath away from your still-dripping tops.  Such days come without a whisper of warning. 

Fortunately, I was able to make it rhyme without straying from the meaning of the original Japanese poem. Some choices may be a little forced in order to preserve the rhyme (for example, “waterside”), but I hope they are still acceptable.

I hope you can enjoy the beauty of both the sound and the poem itself ʘʘ

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A Christian Fanatic Mother

Chapter 2 of Confeito introduces Cathy’s mother. A devout Christian, she condemns Cathy for being a witch.

This follows the original Japanese story, but it also presented several challenges during the translation process.

This episode was based on a real incident. The scene in which a child is struck with a pasta spoon came from something Suri witnessed when she was young.

Seeing a baby being hit with a pasta spoon simply because it would not stop crying was, apparently, a great shock to her. She was also struck by the sudden appearance of the pasta spoon from the mother’s handbag.

They were an English-speaking mother and baby.

While translating the story, I told ChatGPT about this episode. It explained that in English-speaking countries, the wooden spoon is often regarded as a symbol of corporal punishment, partly because of expressions such as “I’ll hit you with the wooden spoon,” which parents may use to threaten misbehaving children.

Perhaps the wooden spoon occupies a similar place in English-speaking cultures to the stereotypical image in Japan of a parent waking a child who refuses to get out of bed by banging on a pot with a ladle. You sometimes see that in anime, though I have never actually seen anyone do it in real life.

Suri never learned why it was a pasta spoon. However, after many years, I finally felt that I had found an explanation for the shocking sight of a pasta spoon suddenly appearing from that handbag.

I chose not to change it to a wooden spoon. Just as Suri remembered it specifically as a pasta spoon because the incident was so shocking, I felt that Cathy, who had been abused, would also remember exactly what she had been hit with.

For that reason, I kept it as a pasta spoon in the translation.

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In addition, we also had to rework the scene in which Cathy’s Christian fanatic mother berates her during the translation process.

This was because the original dialogue was based on a Japanese Protestant fanatic, and I had questions about whether a British Protestant would actually speak in the same way.

There are many different Protestant denominations in Japan as well (Suri had the opportunity to visit a number of different churches). Some denominations have an atmosphere closer to the solemnity of Catholicism, but overall, I feel that American Protestant churches have had a stronger influence.

Michael W. Smith’s “Awesome God” was one of Suri’s lullabies when she was a child.

In Japan, many churches sing translated versions of his songs as worship music.

Churches in Japan with active congregations of around 100 to 200 members often feel very similar to these American-style churches. Even among smaller churches with only a few dozen members, many seem to sing worship songs rather than traditional hymns. It is also common for members of the congregation to respond with phrases such as “Amen” during a pastor’s message. I have heard that this is much less common in Britain.

Since the story is set in Britain, I reworked the dialogue after looking into British religious culture and ways of speaking. In the original Japanese version, Cathy’s mother attacks her in deeply personal ways, gradually driving her into a corner, so I tried not to lose that intensity or atmosphere when choosing the wording.

Even so, perhaps because of cultural differences, I feel that Cathy’s mother ended up sounding somewhat gentler than she does in the Japanese original. Readers from American English-speaking backgrounds may find her gentler still. Finding the right balance between the setting and the intensity of the story was not easy.

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The Title: Confeito

Confeito was written after Suri was inspired by the song “Confetti” by Sia.

Suri liked the song and looked into what “confetti” meant. She learned that it refers to the small pieces of paper thrown at celebrations such as weddings, and that the word comes from the Italian confetti, a type of sugared confection.

She also discovered that the word has a connection to Japan. The name of the traditional Japanese sweet konpeitō (金平糖) is derived from “confeito,” which was introduced to Japan by the Christian missionary Luís Fróis as a gift for Oda Nobunaga. The word ultimately comes from the Latin confectu, meaning “prepared.”

金平糖 — konpeitō

At first, we assumed that Suri had simply taken inspiration from the song and chosen a title that would also feel familiar to Japanese readers. However, as we reread the story during the translation process, we began to wonder whether the title might carry other meanings as well.

I redesigned the cover of the Japanese edition during that process because I thought that this shape, which also plays an important role in the story, might be what “Confeito” refers to.

Konpeitō takes a very long time to produce and is also associated with blessings.

Since the title and the premise of the story beginning with a baby being left on a doorstep seem to have been decided from the start, I wonder if my interpretation might be right.

In addition, because the English version was going to be released over three consecutive days and the story contains a mystery element, I felt that the chapter titles should be less revealing. Unlike readers of the original Japanese version, who could read the entire story in one sitting, English-language readers would have time to think about the mystery between updates. For that reason, I chose chapter titles derived from Latin, which shares a related etymology.

Chapter 1: Confligere — to strike against each other; to clash Chapter 2: Confingere — to shape together; to form Chapter 3: Conficere — to carry through to the end; to complete

Suri sometimes uses a technique in which she writes something in English, but the clue only becomes apparent once a Japanese reader translates it. To give English-language readers a similar reading experience, I chose to use Latin for the chapter titles.

At first glance, the titles do not reveal much. My hope was that readers would only begin to understand their significance after finishing the story and looking up the Latin meanings for themselves. In that way, they might arrive at the intention behind the title Confeito through their own interpretation.

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Researching British Culture

Even in the original Japanese version, there is a scene in which baby formula is prepared in advance and later warmed with a bottle warmer. Since it is more common in Japan to prepare formula with hot water each time and then cool it to the proper temperature before feeding, I revisited this detail during the translation process.

From what I found, Britain now seems to follow much the same practice as Japan. However, around the early 2000s, when the story is set, preparing bottles in advance still appears to have been fairly common. It seems to have been a transitional period.

Suri apparently included this detail after reading British parenting blogs.

I also looked into legal terminology and the relevant laws so that everything would remain as consistent as possible. Some terms have changed since then, and new laws have been introduced. It seems that the historical circumstances of the period itself helped make the events of the story possible. Even so, I tried to support the premise that Cathy and Harry had no way out of their situation.

Cathy had been an elite Ministry official before the Battle of Hogwarts. If that was the kind of position she once held, then Emily, who works in the same department, is likely on a similar path. I felt that Emily’s ability to speak fluently about both the developments that might follow and Muggle law helps establish that aspect of her character, so I tried not to lose that impression in the translation.

Unlike Japanese, it is often harder in English to tell who is speaking from the dialogue alone. Even so, I tried to translate the lines in a way that would still allow each character’s personality to come through.

I hope that the strengths of the original characters from the Japanese story have been preserved, and that the image of the characters from the Harry Potter novels has not been lost either.

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The Characters’ Names

It is obvious that Louise Soldi-Frois takes her name from Luís Fróis, who brought confeito to Japan, but I also looked into whether the other characters’ names fit the period in which the story is set.

Geoffrey, Cathy’s nephew, seemed to have a rather old-fashioned name, and I considered changing it. However, Cathy’s family is wealthy on both sides, and there are hints that they are a Christian family that values tradition. Under those circumstances, it did not seem implausible that he might have been named after a grandfather or another older relative, so I decided to leave it as it was.

Besides, I could not help feeling that there was something almost fateful about the fact that he shares a name with Geoffrey Chaucer, the author of The Canterbury Tales.

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our dear

What will become of the Ministry of Magic, the surrogate mother, and the bitter custody battle with the Frois family?

Even in the middle of it all, Cathy will likely do everything she can to ensure that Harry is hurt as little as possible.

In the next article, I will be sharing my thoughts and analysis of the story.

Article by Tano

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Read on Ao3 : Confeito

[anestofstars]

Illustration by Tano

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The Parable of the Blind 盲人の寓話

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White Elephant contains a reference to The Parable of the Blind, a painting by Pieter Bruegel the Elder. The painting was also used as the cover image for the original Japanese edition of the story.

Public domain

For ***(three asterisks), the original author of White Elephant, this painting was a familiar one. She grew up in a Protestant pastor’s household and was surrounded by biblical imagery from an early age. Alongside The Parable of the Blind, she encountered paintings such as The Gleaners, The Tower of Babel, and The Annunciation.

The Parable of the Blind is based on a verse from the Gospel of Matthew 15:14 (NIV), in which Jesus speaks about the Pharisees:

Leave them; they are blind guides. If the blind lead the blind, both will fall into a pit.

The criticism is directed toward those who believe themselves righteous and fit to guide others, yet neither understand the truth nor possess the ability to see it. Bruegel transformed this metaphor into a literal scene, depicting blind men leading one another toward disaster.

***(three asterisks) encountered the painting before she encountered the verse itself. It seems that the image of those men remained with her long afterward.

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Who Could Have Saved Harry?

Who, in White Elephant, could have saved Harry?

While translating the story, we often found ourselves wondering the same thing. If only someone had shown him a little more kindness. If only he had learned what love was in a different order. It was difficult not to dwell on those possibilities.

But what has happened cannot be undone.

Harry has been betrayed by morality itself. He was cast outside its boundaries, forced to survive there for years, and shaped by what he learned in that place. Can the language of morality still reach someone like him? Can the kind of love contained within it still reach him?

After all, it was the world of morality that abandoned him first.

Eventually, Harry comes to understand.

I see.

He understands that such things exist. He understands what other people mean when they speak of love, safety, and care.

But he cannot receive them.

Years of abuse have taken that capacity from him.

Harry never truly regains his sight. The only way he can learn how others see the world is through accumulated knowledge, through observation, and through effort. He must construct an understanding of light without ever being able to see it for himself.

We may imagine that we are healthy enough to guide someone like Harry. We may imagine that we can safely lead the blind.

But when faced with a person like him, can we remain sighted ourselves?

To help him, we must descend into the pit where he fell.

Can we enter that darkness, carry him out, and return safely?

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Could Snape Save Harry?

In this story, Snape is also someone who has been pushed outside the boundaries of morality, though under circumstances very different from Harry’s.

Perhaps it was precisely because he had already fallen into a similar pit that he was able to approach Harry at all.

And yet Snape, too, surely believed that he was not blind.

There is no reason to doubt that he genuinely wanted to help Harry. But for a man who had spent much of his life rejected and denied affection, Harry’s dependence—his insistence that “you are special”—must have been an enormous temptation.

Just as Harry cannot help but long for violence and the violation of his own boundaries in this story, the desires of both men become intertwined in the worst possible way, drawing them into a deeply codependent relationship.

And yet, despite everything, I believe that it was Snape who saved Harry.

It was precisely because Snape was the person Harry loved most that Harry was finally able to confront the distorted nature of his own desires and choose a different path.

Of course, Harry does not regain his sight.

Even at the end of the story, he remains blind.

But Harry comes to understand how deeply his way of living has wounded Snape. He realizes that he cannot remain beside someone he truly loves if he continues to live as he always has.

And so, he acknowledges his blindness.

He takes up a cane.

He learns to ask who is guiding him.

He learns to walk carefully, mindful of the pit before him.

In the end, he chooses that way of living for himself.

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Tano’s Illustration of The Parable of the Blind

Tano created this White Elephant illustration using the painting that inspired the original author.

The church where ***(three asterisks) grew up also had stained-glass windows. Remembering this, Tano thought it might be interesting to reimagine The Parable of the Blind as a stained-glass piece.

Originally posted on May 27, 2026.

This was not her first stained-glass-inspired illustration. She had previously created another White Elephant illustration using stained-glass imagery. While researching ways to make the effect more convincing, she discovered a set of stained-glass brushes for Procreate, the software we use for our illustrations, and decided to purchase them.

The brushes gave the glass a much more convincing texture and greatly enhanced the stained-glass effect.

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What cannot be seen in the finished image is that every hidden area was painted as well. Because Tano adjusts the colors of the entire illustration at the end of the process, each section required multiple layers. For the first time, she reached Procreate’s layer limit. (On her iPad mini, using a square canvas, the limit was a little over two hundred layers.)

The finished piece achieved a much stronger stained-glass appearance than her earlier attempts.

Originally posted on June 1, 2026.

The characters themselves also show that this was an earlier stage in Tano’s process.

At the time, she did not yet know the concept of using a Multiply layer to add shadows. Instead, she painted shadows by adding brown tones directly onto the base skin color on the same layer.

As a result, the skin tones appear somewhat muted.

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Notes and Observations

While working on the stained-glass illustration, Tano became curious about several details in Bruegel’s painting and began researching them. We have included some of those findings below.

When Does This Scene Take Place?

Although the subject comes from the Bible, the figures are not dressed like people from the biblical Middle East. Instead, Bruegel depicted them as people living in sixteenth-century Flanders, where he himself lived.

Why Are They All Dressed So Similarly?

The clothing worn by the blind men was not unique to blind people. It was typical attire for farmers, travelers, and ordinary people of the period.

Layering a hood beneath a hat was common practice. The region was often cold and windy, so people dressed in layers for warmth. The hood helped keep hair in place, protected the outer hat from sweat and oil, and provided additional insulation. Hats also served practical purposes, shielding the wearer from rain and sunlight, but they were also considered proper attire and could indicate social status.

There was no strict rule that a particular hat belonged exclusively to a particular class, but there were general differences:

Nobles and wealthy townspeople often wore expensive felt hats or hats with decorative elements.

Merchants tended to wear higher-quality hats.

Farmers usually wore simple wool or felt hats.

Clergy wore hats appropriate to their rank and position.

At the time, laws known as sumptuary laws sometimes restricted which fabrics, furs, and decorations people of different social classes were allowed to wear.

Taken together, these details suggest that the men in the painting were likely farmers or travelers rather than members of the nobility.

While painting the illustration, Tano initially assumed that the head coverings might have been special protective gear worn by blind people to prevent injury when falling.

After researching the subject, however, she discovered that they were simply part of everyday dress in Bruegel’s time.

The same is true of the garments that look like shin guards.

These were not protective equipment for blind people. They were common items of clothing worn by farmers and travelers, usually referred to as hose or leg wrappings.

Roads in the sixteenth century were not paved as they are today. People needed protection from stones, mud, thorns, and rough ground. Once again, what first appeared unusual turned out to be perfectly ordinary clothing for the period.

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The Gourd- or Guitar-Shaped Bags

One detail that particularly caught Tano’s attention was the strange shape of the bags carried by the blind men.

Even among researchers, there is no complete agreement about exactly what these bags contained. They are generally believed to have been leather bags.

Unlike modern bags, they were not made with rigid internal structures designed to maintain a particular shape. Because leather stretches and softens over time, the bags would naturally bulge according to whatever was inside them.

In other words, those unusual shapes may tell us something about their contents.

This observation led us to another biblical image.

In Matthew 9:17 (NIV), Jesus says:

Neither do people pour new wine into old wineskins. If they do, the skins will burst; the wine will run out and the wineskins will be ruined. No, they pour new wine into new wineskins, and both are preserved.

Leather is a material that stretches remarkably well.

Keeping that in mind opens the door to another interpretation.

If you look closely, the bag carried by the man who has already fallen into the ditch appears larger and more rigid than the others.

This interpretation is entirely my own, but I cannot help wondering whether that detail carries symbolic meaning.

Perhaps the first man to fall is also the one whose old values and mistaken certainties have hardened his wineskin beyond repair.

And perhaps it is precisely that man who attempts to guide the others.

If so, there is something fitting about the fact that he is the first to fall into the pit.

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The Man Wearing a Cross

If you look closely, one of the figures appears to be wearing a cross around his neck.

Some researchers have suggested that the blind men may be pilgrims on a religious journey.

This possibility adds another layer of meaning to the painting.

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The Buildings in the Distance

The structure that resembles a tent is generally believed to be part of the rural Flemish landscape of Bruegel’s time. It has been variously identified as a barn, a storage building, a thatched structure, or even part of a church.

When viewed in a restored high-resolution version of the painting, it looks less like a tent and more like the front of a building.

For the sake of simplicity, however, Tano chose to depict it as a tent-like structure in her illustration.

The building shown here is often identified as a church.

With that in mind, another interpretation becomes possible.

If the blind men are indeed pilgrims, then the painting may depict a journey from one church to another.

However, the path they are following is clearly not a major road.

Researchers have proposed several possibilities:

A small path on the edge of a village

A road leading toward a church

A walkway built along a dike or embankment

Could the path framed by the trees be the road leading to the church?

There are signs of water in this area of the painting.

Sixteenth-century Flanders was a region shaped by water, filled with canals, drainage systems, and waterways. For that reason, some researchers believe the blind men may be walking along a raised path beside a drainage canal.

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Turning Away, Failing to Notice

If this painting is indeed based on Christ’s criticism of religious leaders who had drifted far from the teachings they claimed to uphold, then perhaps that idea is reflected in the composition itself.

The blind men are moving away from the church.

They have their backs turned to it.

Perhaps they do not even realize that it is there.

After all, their guide is blind as well.

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Returning to White Elephant

This is not a story about complete healing. Harry remains on the road to recovery.

The author’s final work, organ donor: tres(pass)complex, explores a point much further along that journey. At over 500,000 Japanese characters in length, however, the English translation will take some time.

All of ***(three asterisks)’ works were written for the one woman she loved.

But this story was also written for children.

Please do not let it become too late. Please take them somewhere safe. Please tell them that they are safe. Please do not force them to speak. Please do not demand to know the cause. Please do not turn your frustration over their lack of recovery against them.

We know that this is painful for you as well.

But for these children, it is as though they have lost both of their legs. No matter how often you ask, “Why can’t you walk yet?”, there is nothing they can do. Their legs are gone.

“If only you had not gone there, you would not have lost them.”

Yes. But the past cannot be changed.

“Some people still live happy lives without legs.”

Yes. But are those the only wounds they carry? These children may have lost things far more essential to life itself.

In that sense, they may never truly return to the people they once were.

Please do not make light of that.

To acknowledge that one has suffered wounds that may never fully heal is an agonizing thing.

Please seek treatment from qualified professionals.

And if you wish to help children like these, please make sure that you, too, receive professional support.

If someone you loved were trapped beneath rubble, your first instinct would be to pull them out immediately.

Yet it is well known that doing so without proper knowledge can place them in even greater danger, as toxins released into the body may cause further harm.

The same is true for children who have endured prolonged abuse.

If they are rescued recklessly, without proper care or understanding, they too may be placed in danger.

We respect your desire to help them.

But please proceed carefully, and with the guidance of trained professionals.

And when your heart aches for what has happened to someone you love, please allow yourself to receive support as well.

Article by Mitsuboshi Sui

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Read on Ao3 : White Elephant https://archiveofourown.org/works/85192486/chapters/224957146

Content warnings are listed on the AO3 work page.

[anestofstars]

Illustration by Tano — “Eden”

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White Elephant: One Month Later

It has now been one month since the English translation of White Elephant was posted on Ao3.

Despite being a very heavy story, it recently reached 1,000 hits. We are grateful that it has found more readers than we ever expected.

Translating this work was not easy. There were many times when it was painful even to keep reading, and we often had to stop and set it aside before continuing.

Even so, we hope this story may become a source of comfort for someone ◡̈

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Have you read it yet? ʘʘ

Read on AO3: White Elephant https://archiveofourown.org/works/85192486/chapters/224957146

Content warnings are listed on the AO3 work page.

[anestofstars]

Illustration by Sara

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I believe that what you gave me was a white elephant. あなたが白い象を贈ってくれたと信じるよ

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How the Title “White Elephant” Was Born

The title White Elephant did not come from Harry Potter, nor from Severus Snape.

It began with a Japanese word: serifu (科白), meaning “spoken lines” or “dialogue.”

Why do words such as 告白 (kokuhaku, “confession”), 科白 (serifu, “dialogue” or “spoken lines”), and 白状 (hakujō, “confession” or “admission”) all contain the character 白, “white”?

From that simple question, the author began researching the meanings and symbolism carried by the color white.

Not only the origin and usage of 白 in Japanese, but also the meaning of white in cultures, religions, national flags, and the images people have associated with the color across the world.

In the author’s research notes, there are reflections on white as something sacred, pure, peaceful, truthful, and full of light.

Eventually, that search moved beyond Japanese and toward English words and expressions containing “white.”

That was where the author encountered the phrase White Elephant.

Literally, it means “a white elephant.”

But it also means “a useless burden,” “a troublesome possession,” something that cannot easily be thrown away.

Why did a sacred white elephant come to carry such a meaning?

The author kept searching.

The following is a reconstruction, based on the author’s research notes and blog entries, of the path of thought that led to the title White Elephant.

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Thinking About the Meaning of White

While reading a novel, I came across the word 科白.

If you read it as written, is it kahaku? I had never heard that word before. Wondering what it meant, I looked it up and learned that it is read serifu. Apparently, kahaku is also a possible reading.

Search for Meaning Through the Origin of the Character

When you think about the character 白, words such as 告白 (kokuhaku, “confession”), 自白 (jihaku, “confession”), and 白状 (hakujō, “admission”) also use it in situations where someone says something aloud.

Does 白 have the meaning of “to say”?

If you want to understand the meaning of a kanji, search for its origin! So I looked into the origin of 白.

This shape, like a droplet with a horizontal line drawn through it, is said to have been the original form of the character 白.

There are several theories about what it represented: the shape of a thumb, showing the eldest of siblings or the head of a clan; an acorn; or the shape of a skull.

One theory says that it originally represented the shape of a thumb. The thumb represented the father, and therefore the head of the family or clan. But because 白 (haku) became widely associated with the image of “the color white,” a new character, 伯, was created to separate the meanings.

But then why did a character meaning “head of the clan” come to mean “the color white”?

Here, the “skull” and “acorn” theories come in.

In ancient China, the skulls of great chiefs were believed to possess spiritual power and were treated as sacred. Skull = white = great chief. That connection makes sense.

Also, people in ancient times ate acorns as a staple food. Inside the brown shell, the nut is white. So there seems to be a theory that the image of “acorn → the inside is white → the color white” became attached to the character.

Writing was created to leave things behind for people far away or for later generations, but just looking at the old character above, I honestly cannot tell what it is supposed to represent. In the end, meanings are passed down by hearsay: “This means this.” Maybe that is why there are so many theories about the origin.

Come to think of it, 柏 (kashiwa) refers to an oak tree, doesn’t it? Maybe the character was made by attaching 白, “acorn,” to 木, “tree.” So maybe it really does represent an acorn after all?

Still, even after researching this far, all I had found was 白 as an image of color.

So where did the meaning of “to say” get added to 白?

Did 白 Come to Mean “To Speak” Because of 自?

Then I came across a new piece of information.

There is a theory that 白 is a variant form of 自.

A variant character is something like 高 and 髙, or 斉 and 斎: the same character and meaning, but with slightly different forms.

So then, how did 自 come into being?

I found an illustration like this.

Apparently, 自 originally represented a human nose.

Later, however, 自 came to be widely used with the meaning of “oneself.” As a result, people stopped using 自 to mean “nose,” and eventually the character 鼻 was created for that purpose.

What caught my attention was the meaning of “nose.”

The nose is where we breathe.

Breath is what carries our voice.

There is a theory that the meaning of “to speak” or “to express words” became attached to 自 because it was associated with breath. Later, in order to separate the meanings of “nose,” “self,” and “to speak,” the meaning related to speech was attached to 白, a variant form of 自.

Is There Any Connection Between 申 and Speech?

Then another thought occurred to me.

The character 申, meaning “to state” or “to report,” looks a little like 日—which itself resembles 白.

Could it be that 白 acquired the meaning “to speak” because it was somehow related to 申?

So I looked into that as well.

It turns out that 申 originally represented a flash of lightning.

Because lightning stretches across the sky in multiple directions, the character came to carry the meaning “to extend.”

In other words, it seems that 白 and 申 are unrelated in terms of their origins.

Still, that raised another question.

Why did a character representing lightning come to mean “to state” or “to speak”?

One explanation says that speech is something that extends outward from within oneself.

The words inside a person are extended outward into the world.

And from there, I wandered into pure speculation.

Lightning, Gods, and Words

This is entirely my own theory.

When I think of God in the Old Testament, I tend to associate Him with lightning.

Partly because passages like this left a strong impression on me:

On the morning of the third day there was thunder and lightning, with a thick cloud over the mountain, and a very loud trumpet blast. Everyone in the camp trembled. Mount Sinai was covered with smoke, because the Lord descended on it in fire.  As the sound of the trumpet grew louder and louder, Moses spoke and the voice of God answered him.  (Exodus 19:16–19, NIV)

Even before this passage, thunder and lightning appear repeatedly throughout the Bible.

And this is not unique to Christianity.

In Greek mythology, Zeus rules the world with thunderbolts.

There are gods of thunder and lightning in Japanese, Chinese, Roman, Egyptian, and many other traditions as well.

Perhaps people in ancient times imagined that gods lived within storm clouds.

In that sense:

Lightning = God.

The Japanese character 神 (“god”) is also written with the radical 示 and the character 申, which originally represented lightning.

Maybe people naturally associated lightning with the presence of the divine.

Then there is another passage that came to mind:

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning. Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made.  In him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it. (John 1:1–5, NIV)

In this passage, God says, “Let there be light,” and light comes into existence. Everything in creation comes into being through God’s word.

In other words, ancient people seem to have understood words and God as being deeply connected.

Words do not merely describe reality.

Words create reality.

True Names

As an aside, this reminded me of the concept of the True Name in Ursula K. Le Guin’s Earthsea.

The true name. The thing that grants power over all things in Earthsea. Every grain of sand, every drop of water, every living thing possesses a true name, and anyone who knows that name can control it.

When I first encountered that idea, I remember wondering whether it had been influenced by traditions like this.

If God’s words can bring things into existence, then perhaps a true name is more than just a label.

Perhaps speaking the true name of something allows it to be summoned, moved, or changed.

White, Speech, and the Sacred

Ancient people saw gods and words as deeply connected.

They also associated gods with lightning.

Perhaps that is why I found myself imagining a chain of associations:

Lightning = God = Word.

Maybe that is why a character originally associated with lightning eventually acquired the meaning “to state” or “to speak.”

Then there is 白.

White is widely regarded as a symbol of holiness.

Across cultures, it is associated with peace, purity, and sacred things.

According to one theory, 白 inherited a meaning related to speech from 自.

And according to another tradition, words themselves were considered divine.

A character associated with holiness.

A character associated with speech.

A world in which words and gods were inseparable.

It may all be coincidence.

But I cannot help feeling that there is something beautiful about those connections.

Returning to 科白

So, after all of that, let us return to the word 科白.

It seems that, through various twists and turns, the character 白 eventually acquired the meaning “to speak.”

As for how 科白 itself came to mean “dialogue,” the explanation appears to lie in Japan’s traditional performing arts, such as Noh and Kyōgen.

In old scripts, stage directions and instructions for movement were written down, but the actual words spoken by the actors were written in the spaces between the lines or in the margins—the blank, white spaces on the page.

Because of this:

科 referred to actions or movements.

白 referred to words or spoken lines.

Together, 科白 came to mean the actor’s actions and dialogue.

Incidentally, the word serifu itself does not appear to have originated in China.

One theory suggests that it comes from the world of Kabuki. Actors would exchange lines as if competing with one another, and the word evolved from serigoto (“competing words”). The characters 科白 were then assigned later.

In other words, the Japanese word itself seems to have come first, and the kanji were applied afterward.

Still, after all this research, one question remained.

Why is white treated as a symbol of holiness, purity, and peace almost everywhere in the world?

To explore that question, I turned my attention to national flags and the meanings attached to the color white in different countries.

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White in National Flags

Japan

In Japan, red and white have long been regarded as auspicious colors used in celebrations and ceremonies.

White is also commonly associated with purity and the sacred.

France

In France, white is said to represent equality.

It is also associated with the white fleur-de-lis, a symbol of the Bourbon monarchy.

Indonesia

In Indonesia, white represents truth and a pure heart.

Canada

In Canada, white is said to represent snow, one of the country’s most recognizable features.

Other examples were equally interesting.

In Finland, white is associated with snow.

In Israel, it represents purity of heart.

In Nigeria, it symbolizes peace.

In Peru, it stands for peace and honor.

Even from this brief survey, one thing stood out to me.

White is used positively almost everywhere.

Perhaps that is only natural—national flags are meant to represent a country in a favorable light.

Still, I found it fascinating that so many different cultures had independently associated white with ideas such as peace, purity, and holiness.

Why Does White Have Such Positive Associations?

White is said to be the brightest color because it reflects light.

Black, by contrast, absorbs it.

In the ancient world, nights were far darker than they are today.

Darkness was dangerous.

Predators could approach unseen.

Visibility was poor.

Simply moving around became more difficult.

In some cases, it could be a matter of life and death.

Perhaps that is why red, the color of fire, came to be associated with protection and the warding off of evil.

Of course, there are other explanations.

One theory traces the protective symbolism of red to the blood painted on doorways during the Exodus:

Then they are to take some of the blood and put it on the sides and tops of the doorframes of the houses where they eat the lambs. (Exodus 12:7, NIV)

Personally, I find that interpretation fascinating as well.

Many national flags that use red associate it with blood, sacrifice, or struggle.

But no matter how brightly a fire burns, it cannot compete with sunlight.

When the sun rises, hidden things become visible.

The world becomes easier to navigate.

The danger of nocturnal predators diminishes.

Perhaps that is why human beings first developed a negative image of darkness.

And perhaps the brightest thing of all—light itself—came to be associated with safety, goodness, and purity.

If so, it would make sense that white, the color closest to light, inherited those positive meanings.

At least, that is my theory.

Does White Have Any Negative Meanings?

At this point, I started wondering about something else.

If white is associated with holiness, purity, and peace in so many places around the world, are there any cultures that view it negatively?

So I looked into that as well.

In Japanese, there is the expression shirajirashii (白々しい), which is not usually used in a positive way.

It can be used to describe someone who is being obviously insincere.

But the meaning of 白 here is actually closer to “plainly visible.”

The feeling is less “white is bad” and more:

“You think you’re hiding it? Everyone can see right through you.”

In other words, the negative meaning does not come from white itself.

The same thing happened with other examples I found.

There are certainly words containing 白 that appear in negative contexts, but the negativity rarely comes from the character itself.

Even when used critically, 白 often retains its sense of clarity, openness, or revelation.

No matter where I looked, I struggled to find a genuinely negative symbolic meaning attached to white itself.

And then I came across a phrase that caught my attention.

White Elephant

While researching words and expressions containing “white” in other languages, I encountered the phrase White Elephant.

Its meaning was:

“A burdensome possession.”

“Something troublesome.”

“Something more trouble than it is worth.”

I was surprised immediately.

First, because it literally means “white elephant.”

And second, because it carried such a negative meaning.

How could something associated with the color white—a color that seemed to symbolize holiness, peace, and purity almost everywhere—come to mean a burden?

I wanted to know more.

What Is a White Elephant?

The first thing I learned was that white elephants are regarded as sacred animals, especially in Southeast Asia.

A white elephant does not necessarily have to be an albino.

Animals with several pale patches and certain recognized characteristics may also be classified as white elephants.

The first thing I did was search for photographs.

I had never actually seen a white elephant before.

“Oh.”

“They are white…”

Well, sort of.

The two elephants in the photographs on the left had been painted white for ceremonial purposes.

The actual white elephant was the one on the right.

To be honest, it was not the pure white animal I had imagined from stories and legends.

Its color was certainly lighter than that of an ordinary elephant, but it was not truly white.

Then I came across another interesting detail.

Apparently, “white elephant” may itself be the result of a translation problem.

According to one explanation, the original term is closer to “taro-colored elephant.”

Taro.

Looking at photographs of white elephants, I had to admit that the comparison was not entirely unreasonable.

The color does resemble the pale flesh of a taro root.

That reminded me of another famous example.

The white rhinoceros is not called “white” because of its color. One explanation says that the name originated when the Dutch word wijd (“wide”), referring to the animal’s broad mouth, was misheard as white.

Something similar may have happened in Thailand.

Perhaps the sacred elephant gradually became associated with the sacred color white through translation and interpretation.

Or perhaps people simply began to connect a rare pale elephant with ideas of holiness and purity.

Either way, the image of the White Elephant was born.

An albino elephant calf and an elephant that turned white after a mud bath.

Sacred Animals and Kings

White was considered a sacred color in Thailand as well.

Elephants themselves were already associated with the divine. Ganesha, the elephant-headed god, is probably the most famous example.

In a culture where elephants were revered, a pale elephant would naturally be seen as extraordinary.

Even being slightly lighter in color would have been enough to make such an animal exceptionally rare.

And rarity often becomes a sign of the sacred.

White elephants belonged to the king.

If one was discovered, it was expected to be presented to the royal court.

Owning three white elephants was considered an impressive achievement.

King Bhumibol Adulyadej was said to have owned seven, which was regarded as an extraordinary accomplishment.

The relationship between kings and elephants in Thailand was far closer than I had imagined.

Why Did White Elephant Come to Mean “A Burden”?

And that brings us back to the original question.

If white elephants were sacred, royal, and precious, why did the phrase White Elephant come to mean something troublesome?

The answer lies in an old story.

According to an old story, a king in Thailand would sometimes give a white elephant to a courtier he disliked.

The recipient could hardly refuse.

A white elephant was rare.

It was sacred.

And it had come directly from the king.

There was no way such a gift could simply be thrown away.

The elephant could not be released into the forest.

It could not be sold.

It certainly could not be killed.

And yet it was still an elephant.

It ate enormous amounts of food.

It required constant care.

It destroyed property simply by existing.

The unfortunate recipient was forced to keep it, no matter how difficult or expensive that became.

That, supposedly, is how white elephant came to mean a troublesome possession or a burdensome gift.

I love this story.

The first thing that fascinates me is the king.

He gives a sacred animal—something precious to the royal family, something that must be presented to the king if discovered—to someone he dislikes.

Some versions of the story say that the king would choose a white elephant of particularly poor quality.

Even so, it had still been recognized as a white elephant.

It was still rare enough to be treasured.

Still sacred enough to belong to the king.

Owning three white elephants was considered an achievement worthy of admiration.

And yet the king gives one away.

To someone he dislikes.

He gives away one of his own treasures.

That is what fascinates me.

In order to ruin another person, the king presents them with something that is precious to him.

He dislikes them, yet he gives them something valuable.

He gives away one of his finest possessions, yet hidden within that gift is a desire to destroy the recipient.

The contradiction is extraordinary.

And yet it feels profoundly human.

I cannot help wondering what kind of story existed between those two people.

What Did the Courtier Feel?

And what about the courtier?

What did he feel when he looked at the elephant standing before him?

At what moment did he realize the king’s malice?

The white elephant was the greatest gift the king could have given him.

And yet it was also the thing that would gradually destroy him.

How did he watch that happen?

Did he come to hate the king?

Or did he continue believing in the king’s goodwill and blame only himself for being unable to care properly for such a magnificent gift?

Even if he hated the king, the elephant itself did not change.

It was still the white elephant the king had given him.

Still sacred.

Still precious.

Still the king’s gift.

I cannot help feeling that there must have been emotions there that cannot be easily explained.

And What About the King?

And what about the king?

As he watched one of his own treasures bring ruin to another person, what did he feel?

Did he think,

“Serves him right.”

Or was it something else?

I often find myself wondering.

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An Aside

English contains several other expressions involving elephants.

Elephant in the Room

Literally, this means “an elephant in the room.”

It refers to something obvious that everyone can see but chooses to ignore.

A huge elephant is standing right there in the room, yet nobody mentions it.

Well, once you acknowledge it, you have to deal with it.

I can understand the temptation.

See the Elephant

Literally, “to see the elephant.”

This is an old slang expression meaning to experience all kinds of things in life, usually through hardship.

In the past, seeing an elephant was not something ordinary people could easily do.

You could not simply search for one online.

You could not assume there would be a zoo nearby.

To see an elephant often meant traveling far away or having an unusual experience.

The expression seems to have survived from those days.

Pink Elephant

Literally, “a pink elephant.”

It refers to hallucinations, especially those caused by alcohol or drugs.

It can also refer to embarrassing memories from the past.

Come to think of it, wasn’t there a pink elephant sequence in Disney’s Winnie the Pooh ride?

Or am I remembering that incorrectly?

There are pink elephants in Dumbo, too.

Apparently the expression has existed in English for a very long time.

Elephant Juice

Literally, “elephant juice.”

This one completely baffled me.

Apparently, if you silently mouth the words elephant juice, your lips move in a way that resembles I love you.

So if a novel says someone mouthed “elephant juice,” it can mean they silently said “I love you.”

As someone who does not speak English natively, I never would have guessed that on my own.

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White Elephant

And so, after all of this, I return once more to the white elephant.

Do you think what Snape gave Harry was a white elephant?

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Adapted, edited, and translated by Luca from the author’s original research notes and blog entries.

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Read on AO3: White Elephant https://archiveofourown.org/works/85192486/chapters/224957146

Content warnings are listed on the AO3 work page.

[anestofstars]

Illustration by Mitsuboshi Sui

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White Elephant

Mitsuboshi Sui created this illustration for White Elephant, a Snarry fanfiction by ***(three asterisks).

After watching Saw IV in 2016, the original author discovered X JAPAN through “I.V.,” the song featured in the film’s ending credits. Exploring the band’s history and background eventually led to the inspiration for White Elephant.

••┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈•• X Japan - I.V. (2008)

The original author was particularly fond of the scene where Jigsaw rushes to his wife, as well as the moments when childhood friends YOSHIKI and Toshi begin to reconnect, sharing a quiet smile. ••┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈•• X Japan - Endless Rain (The Last Live version｜1997)

The story was also influenced by X JAPAN’s “Endless Rain” (The Last Live version), capturing one of the last moments before YOSHIKI and Toshi would spend years apart.

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X JAPAN - The Last Song.

Inspired by this connection, Sui created this illustration as an homage to the cover art of X JAPAN’s The Last Song.

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Have you read it yet? ʘʘ

Read on AO3: White Elephant https://archiveofourown.org/works/85192486/chapters/224957146

Content warnings are listed on the AO3 work page.

[anestofstars]

Illustration by Sara

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The Side Effect of a Gentle Lie やさしい嘘の弊害

This illustration by Sara was inspired by an after-story for If I Remember Tomorrow, shared by the original author in reply to a reader’s comment:

“Because of the gentle lie, Harry will now greet Hermione, Ron, and many others with an embrace. Snape will be jealous, but he will not ask him to stop—and Hermione and the others will understand the meaning behind it. It will become their salvation. And so, the two of them will go on living like that.”

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Have you read it yet? ʘʘ

Read on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/71856381

[anestofstars]

Illustration by Tano

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White Elephant

Process video for the illustration used in White Elephant. One hand. One whole day. Worth it ʘʘ

His fingers were probably a little thicker, but hands are still a struggle for me, so I used my own hand as a reference.

There’s just something about Snape’s hands…

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Brushes used:

• Soft Brush (Procreate) • mimi厚塗りブラシセット

【procreate】mimi厚塗りブラシセット - mimi - BOOTH

mimiが普段使っている、厚塗りに適したProcreate用ブラシ6種のセットです。 アナログっぽい質感と艶っぽさを出すことを意識して調整しています。 詳しい使い方はYouTubeをご覧ください！ ✳︎個人、商用問わずご利用いただけます。 ✳︎ブラシの再販売、二次配布、無断転載は

Color palette used:

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Final image:

••┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈•• Have you read it yet? ʘʘ

Read on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/85192486/chapters/224957146

Content warnings are listed on the AO3 work page.

[anestofstars]

Illustration by Tano

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White Elephant

A Snarry story by ***(three asterisks). English translation by a nest of stars.

Harry Potter knew what love was. He had learnt it long before anyone thought to teach him otherwise.

Years later, he writes about Severus Snape, and about the thing between them that he once mistook for love.

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Read on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/85192486

Content warnings are listed on the AO3 work page.

[anestofstars]

Illustration by Tano

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Confeito

A Snarry story by ***(three asterisks). English translation by a nest of stars.

Christmas morning.

Cathy Marlowe, Harry Potter’s secretary, is waiting for him to arrive, when a summons from Kingsley Shacklebolt sets everything slipping out of place.

A strange, black-eyed baby.

The lingering shadow of Severus Snape, officially dead for three and a half years.

What happened between Harry Potter and Severus Snape?

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Read on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/76026931/chapters/198922256

[anestofstars]

Illustration by Mitsuboshi Sui

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If I Remember Tomorrow

A Snarry story by ***(three asterisks). English translation by a nest of stars.

Harry Potter remembers only up to the age of ten. Every morning, he wakes to a world he no longer remembers. When St Mungo’s can no longer care for him, he is sent to live with a solitary potioneer known only as Professor.

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Read on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/71856381