𝓪𝓷𝓰𝒆𝓵 @angclvs-blog - Tumblr Blog

caedvs:

❛’cos i’m a bad person doing really good things, or a good person doing bad things, i guess the jury is still out on that one. but i hurt people that deserve to be hurt, yeah? and those that don’t, well apparently i tell them to keep an eye out on their bar, ha. first person i’ve actually spoke to in warning them before hand, so - maybe that makes you a special snow- flake, huh?❜

❛well, i appreciate the warning and i'll be sure to stay on my guard when i'm at the bar -- should i be on edge at home too? d-do they know where i live?❜

#caedvs

exsaevio:

❛you judged yourself for this uh…thing, but was it actually your fault? you do not seem like bad man that would do something wrong, no?❜

❛n-no...no, i guess it wasn't my fault. i just wish i could have done m-more to keep her safe, to protect her and i -- i didn't. i failed...and now she's gone and i -- yeah, y-yeah i judge myself for that a lot.❜

#exsaevio

exsaevio:

❛so you can take it out on other people, but you will not judge them? hm. why do you judge yourself then?❜

❛uh, a f-few things...one really big thing but it a-all adds up. don't think i'll ever stop...j-judging myself for it.❜

#exsaevio

exsaevio:

❛i see. i suppose that is good quality to have, yes? i am sure those people out there are not judging you, however. perhaps you feel like they are because you are judging yourself?❜

❛i -- i guess i never thought of that before. maybe i am judging myself and just try to take it out on other people...th-that's probably right.❜

#exsaevio

exsaevio:

❛hm. maybe you should, uh…judge back? perhaps you will feel better.❜

❛i'm not really a judgmental person, i -- i don't know if i'm even capable of judging them back without apologizing for it, ha, how lame.❜

#exsaevio

exsaevio:

❛—- what would they even judge you for, if they were? are you someone on most wanted poster or something? ha.❜

❛i don’t really know…i guess ever since my wi– i mean, i – yeah, i don’t know. it just feels like i’m being judged, feels like i’m on a damn wanted poster, ha.❜

#exsaevio

exsaevio:

❛why do you concern yourself with stranger’s, uh…feelings? thoughts? why would they matter?❜

❛i-i don't know. i guess they don't matter, i just can't help but feel like i'm being judged everywhere i go, i hate it.❜

#exsaevio

caedvs:

❛don’t think like that. revenge clauses never bode out well, okay? you feel like you can take on the world but you’re the one that will end up getting hurt. i just need you to lie low until i sort everything out — and if anyone comes in your bar that isn’t a regular? call the cops…or me, i guess.❜

❛o-okay, i'll try to lay low and i'll let you know if irregulars come into my bar. i hope you don't mind me asking but -- h-how do you know all of this? why are you helping me?❜

#caedvs

❛feels like they are...all the damn time. just feels like everyone around me is judging me.❜

#exsaevio

caedvs:

❛—- because the asshole that did this to your family is someone i’m paid to kill. it was bad business to tell you to be safe, and now telling you this? but…i know what eternal pain feels like, you deserved to know. especially when these guys know who you are.❜

❛they know who i am? h-how do you know that? are they planning on coming after me too? i -- i'll KILL them if they come anywhere near me. i swear, i will fucking k-kill them.❜

#caedvs

caedvs:

❛yeah, i know what happened. that’s why i’m telling you to keep yourself safe. you’re actually a decent guy, one of the good ones, so —- the last thing that i would want is an early death sentence coming your way.❜

❛y-you know? how -- how do you know? but i...i try to keep as safe as i can, as safe as a-anyone can in this day, i guess, ha.❜

#caedvs

❛trust me, i don't need you to tell me that to know that's the unfortunate truth, life already told me that the hard way. but thanks for the...warning? i guess?❜

#caedvs

imagnvtio:

❛—- remember her memory? how insulting! i couldn’t imagine why anyone would deem that appropriate to someone in your situation, huh? i’m sure those people haven’t lost someone like you have, if they did? then they sure as hell wouldn’t want to just remember a memory. ugh, as much as i like to keep positive? sometimes folk on this planet really annoy me, ha! but you’re welcome, hon! don’t need to say thank you over this, i’m happy to be here for you. anything you need, okay? and i’ll try to be some decent company for you in the meantime.❜

❛it's good to know i'm not the only one who wants to punch these people in the damn face when they say shit like that, ha. but hey, you've already been great company for me, i have no doubts you'll be some amazing company from now on -- although i do apologize in advance if i end up landing any of my pointless bullshit on you, feel free to give me a whack and tell me to shut up at anytime!❜

#imagnvtio

imagnvtio:

❛oh no, i couldn’t patronize you like that, of course it wouldn’t be okay. that is completely understandable but – life has to go on, right? even if it’s incredibly difficult and hard as you say, you’ll…adjust in time, i believe that you will especially when you deserve to be happy as you can be. but i could be some company! that’s totally fine, i probably don’t have a lot to talk about considering certain things but i’m always here if you need a chat or just to hang out? i’m here for you, promise.❜

❛it actually makes me feel so much better to hear someone tell me that life goes on. hearing people say that it'll all be okay and that i need to just remember her memory, it's made me feel even worse because, well -- i know it's NOT okay. so thank you, really, thank you for being the first person to be honest with me and still stay you'll be there for me, it really means a lot, truly.❜

#imagnvtio

imagnvtio:

❛—- your wife? oh god, i’m so sorry! that’s – that’s terrible. i shouldn’t have been so flippant about your life changing and stuff, obviously your version of a different life is something i could have never even imagined. god…i’m sorry, completely. but – that’s understandable! how are you…doing? honestly? is there anything i could do to help? not that i could imagine there would be but…i would love to do any- thing to lighten the load for you if you needed it.❜

❛you don't have to apologize, it's alright, you didn't say anything wrong. you're actually the first person who hasn't just put a hand on my shoulder, gave me that sympathetic look and told me it'll all be okay. you're the first person who's told me that i'll adjust to the new life and get used to it and i...i actually appreciate that. even if you didn't know what i was talking about at first, it's what i wanted to hear, y'know? she's never coming back, i shouldn't dwell on it for my entire life, spent the past year doing that and wow -- i'm rambling, i'm so sorry, ha. but uh...you could just be some company? that might help? someone to talk to? not being able to get things off my chest has held me down a lot. not that i mean to burden you with my problems or anything! just be...nice.❜

#imagnvtio

imagnvtio:

❛oh, well - okay. i’m sorry if that sounded as if i wanted to pry? i honestly wasn’t; i’m just here if you ever need to talk, that’s all. i really hope you become accustomed to your new life though. you deserve to be happy, yeah? you seem like a good man.❜

❛no, it didn't sound like that all, i didn't mean to make it seem like i thought that, sorry. it's just, uh -- well...my wife, she was -- she was killed about a year ago and just getting used to everything, life without her and all that nonsense, it's been hard, y'know? but i'm getting there, gotta get used to it either way so as difficult as it is, life goes on. but thank you, you seem like a really great guy yourself.❜

#imagnvtio

imagnvtio:

❛well, in some ways, different could be good? opens your eyes and opens new doors to things you never would’ve experienced before. but either way, i’m sorry it’s difficult for you. is it…anything you want to talk about?❜

❛no, uh...it's okay -- thank you though, i appreciate the offer to talk about it. i just don't want to depress the hell out of you or make anything weird, but thank you. i suppose different is good, change is good, something i'm gonna have to get used to either way.❜

#imagnvtio

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