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@angel-custos-blog
Read Article Here:Ā How to Help Someone With Depression - Psych2Go
Watch Video Here:Ā How to Help Someone with Depression - YouTube
Follow us @psych2go!
Not sure which I like better.
I've never seen it snow like this. So beautiful. So peaceful.
I remember the day I saw the sky burst into flames. Then one day you never opened your eyes again.
Anyone want to join me as I play with fire?
No matter how much pain I put myself through, I still won't wake up...
It's something I can't seem to understand. Am I truly not worth the time to get to know? Is it a matter of the rest of the world being so hollow in themselves that I turn against myself because it must be something wrong with me, with what I'm doing. I honestly just want someone I can connect with. A friend I can tell about what goes on in my head, or a friend to keep me outside of my head. As of now it's just myself wandering through the dark forest of unspeakable tales that have no happy ending. I don't try to be depressed, and I understand it's not the most appealing subject to have someone constantly talk about, but when the only memories you make these days are the ones that are filled with the loneliness of your own sickened mind, there isn't much else to talk about, especially when you're not talking to anyone. These post, or words I share aren't for anyone other than myself trying to let go of the pain I've come across at that time. There's more to me than these sonnets of destruction, these rambles of pain... I clearly ask for too much. I suppose I'm just trying to fill the space in me with something other than the hurt. I'm not sure what else to use...
I don't fall in love with people. I find relief in the chaotic waters that are my mind...
āDark Placesā
The day we first spoke, still play its sad symphony, and echos through my mind. That soft, roughness of your hand as it embraced mine. A silence so loud, stomach filled with butterflies, my heart canāt help but flutter⦠Hesitantly slipping my hand away, small jerks as the movement stutters. Oh, how I wish I would have held on longer, maybe it would have made you stronger⦠Escape seems impossible, from these cimmerian memories, known once as all of my light. The fire to my day, and the guidance through my night. The world has betrayed me, filled with dudgeon, my hands pressed against the wall, trying to push back time to when I had it all. These waves of red fill my eyes⦠You know Iāve cried more than a thousand times⦠I canāt take back everything I should have done⦠Iām left to wander the life of a lotus-eater, an aimless creature. Missing you is all thatās left for this⦠While you rest your head in the place beyond the abyssā¦
-Angel Custos
āThe Book Of The Sunā
Determined, strong, resilient, your potential is limitless⦠These were the praises of those around me. My only question to them is āwhere is all that now?ā
Some days it feels like Iām the only one who laughs at all my own jokes. Some people just canāt seem to comprehend my jokes, different lives, different folks. Every quip, every remark, every echoed laughter, like those with the voices of angels, they will always hit their mark. These infinites in these things, they each mean so much more, each could fill chapters, you just need to take a look, as I write this book.. They say donāt judge one by its cover. Youāll remain empty, unwittingly you deprive your soul of the glorious things to discover. On the outside in stained, and tattered, but on the inside, itās like turning around, an entirely different matter. Those books you see with their covers crisp, and new that seem to stay the longest, waiting for the one whoā¦. Who will take the time to pluck them from their shelf. Remember one finite fact, that our covers are this way due many hands theyāve been through, the endless flipping, as they begin slipping⦠Into the story that is my life, we are the ones who never seem to be put down, but when they do, youāll never see me frown. Iāll wear this crown of pages lost to time, and tear. Iāve been ripped bare, by those who never understood how to care, Little does this world know, it shall never reign over my parade, simply because it slips their mind, Iām the book of the sun. Take a seat, under your soft light, open me up, and watch my pages ignite.
-Angel Custos
āLossā¦ā In this darkest hour, all the lights are gone, Iāve been drained of all power. My heart aches, Iām tired of playing this game with fate⦠This incantation on my life, is that for me to be filled with strife. Iām sore both physically, and mentally. Iāll always be waiting for that āeventuallyā. Itās this strike of the clock, in which we hope to still walk on to new things. My mind singsā¦. Please let me be, Iām tired of hurting, I donāt want to feel anymore of this burden⦠This burden of love stolen, from a place I can never get it back⦠Forever to be lost⦠It fell between the crack⦠The glimpses in the corner of my eyes, trickle down the curves of my face⦠Only to be gone like you⦠Without trace⦠I yearn for your presence, and the safety of your embrace. Iām so lost without this⦠I beg to go on, to the place of transcendenceā¦
In memory of whom I severely miss⦠I love you, and always think about you⦠I wish you could see how much I doā¦
-Angel Custos
"Honey"
Glass heart, iron fist, silk skin⦠minds molded of stardust.
In your eyes, Iāve seen everything to be found beyond lust. On those lips, a thousand times, Iāve read whispered nothings more pure than the oceanās thrust. A thread in which binds us is made bold regardless, despite everything which may wear it thin. Your enchanting aroma fills my soul, quite like streets blanketed beneath mist. A puzzle once riddled with empty spaces, has discovered fullfilness, once you were exposed as the missing pieces. Laid bare, the infantile world has begun to twist. Life made anew makes its first steps to begin. This offer of trust, poured like honey upon my hands. My body, now cold, holds a feeling resembling the act of committing sin. Against all odds, I shall continue to persist. Inspired to no end, you are the muse to all my art. Rebuking everything before you, each moment has long since been dismissed. Sights set to the future, I revel them of their beautiful entirety, unable to hold thhold this glowing grin. In this moment, I shall be yours forever, and anything less is simply nothing but unjust.
Steel hearts, melted fist, skin still of silk⦠our minds, together, molded of stardust.
-Angel Custos & Danni Cee
āLoosen Your Gripā
Eyes shut⦠Heart open⦠In this moment an overwhelming shiver resonates through your body. Everything pulls together closely at the sign of this omen.
Anticipation⦠The call of the future, an entrapment in limbo as you stare at the clock above the window waiting for the moment to come.
Precipitation⦠Your head is loaded with āwhat ifāsā and expectations, the pounding echoing from all the racings. Youāre opening fire, your head rains bullets, your heart has stopped, your soul gives a gentle touch, you can feel your hand clutch⦠Because deep down you never want to let go of whatās to come, itās the banging of a drum, yelling at yourself in your mind āHOW COULD I BE THIS DUMB!?ā Everything stopsā¦
A cold touch has taken over settles the storm brewing in your mind, like being sober. It sends chills from your lips to your spine⦠A silent whisper which says āYouāre mineā¦ā like ice to fire your body melts, pouring into the other, a warming embrace unmatched by any other. A fragment of your soul seeps out, it stings as it runs along your cheek. This is the peak of the moment you seek. Itās made of dreams, all reality has broken at its seams⦠You pull them closer, your hands pressed along their back trying to keep it all intact. This moment has never ended, they certainly didnāt leave you empty handed you still feel the warmth against you, you can still hear that subtle āI love youā¦ā -Angel Custos
I just woke up from a haunting dream. In this dream I could feel my life being torn at the seams. An argument between two people who were supposed to take on the world, lay wounded, each in their corners curled⦠In their arms, no longer do they share that space, offering the warm embrace they once knew so well. Everything fell⦠at that feet of those above, looking for that white dove, the wave of that flag, no longer do I wish to be a contender, but I will not surrender. I offer a different weapon⦠*sighs* Iām lost without the moon to pull me, like a wave smashing against the sand, through the darkness I find myself engulfed by. It eats me whole, though some things are hard to swallow. I will emerge anew. Continue to guide me, the moon in my mind, you are the light in my midnight hour when the world has been covered in the blanket of shadows. I just woke up from a haunting dream. In the waking world, Iāve found myself sewing the torn pieces together. -Angel Custos
āInto The Skyā
This ethereal trace of lines, painted across the endless meadow of silver-lined clouds, draws me to the fate written by the Devine ones that rest here. This is not that of malice, but a succulent sip from the jewel covered chalice. Itās here my darkness fades into the transcendence of light as it cascades, my body is remade anew, heart filled with vigor for that which may ensue. A battle cry embellished with gold. āLet go of the old, and submerge in the new!ā An embodiment of platinum rides to gleam amongst the best of them, so it would seem. This manifestation which glistens in the light, begins its ascension already deemed the winner of every fight. Above the ocean over-head. Into the skyā¦refusing to die.
-Angel Custos
āThe Last Roundā
āJust one moreā¦ā I choke on these words as they drip from my mouth, leaning my head against the door. Just one more to shut these memories out, Iāve clawed my way through these bouts for too long, no longer do I wish to be strong I just want to let go. My body shivers with the pounding on the back of my head, I slammed them down, one by one. The resonance of the drowned out yells from the other side now flood my ears, like the howl of the ocean. Iāve begun to lose all motion. The room spins around me as Iām locked in place, I can almost see my own face. The spinning creeps to the pace of ice along the abandoned lake. For goodness sake, wonāt they be quiet?! The final steps have taken place, just one more⦠- Angel Custos
(I don't like this one. It's not my best work.)
Silent screams fill the room. My minds just begun to rest... New torment steps forward. Hands out in protest... Please leave me be.