Angelorum Lapsus

Trapped in a ceaseless story with a preordained ending spanning countless generations. He is forever destined to fall. Semi-Lit, Independent AU, Roleplay Only, 18+, aim=angeljongjin Para preferred, open to action

[angel-jongjin]

Returning to Tumblr

This is a short notice that I will be revamping Jongjin's profile and returning him to the krp world. I hope you all are well.

-Jongjin's typist

[kimxjae]

Kim Jaejoong | Aged 22 | Genius Billionaire Playboy Philanthropist Hover: ☶ || ☶ || ☶ || ☶ || ☶ || ☶ || ☶ || ☶ || ☶ || ☶

When you scream it sounds like a lullaby. When you beg, I get all gooey inside. Tonight I take your eyes, mind, and tongue to spread the word and watch your kingdom come. 

They call me Kim Jaejoong. I’m rich, I’m cocky, and I’m back. If you knew me before, come pay me a visit. If you didn’t, come along now, don’t be shy. I won’t bite you—unless you want me to. 

Jesus is risen, it’s no surprise. Even he would martyr his mama to ride to hell between those thighs. The pressure is building at the base of my spine. If I gotta sin to see them again then I’m gonna lie, lie, lie

Reblog || Like || Follow. I’ll follow back. Come on now darling, what are you waiting for? Pretty please? I don’t say please often. Consider it a start to a beautiful relationship. Perhaps I’ll even treat you to a nice meal, a glass of wine, or something better. Your choice, darling.

[jennayliu]

There’s a difference between goodbye and letting go. Goodbye is “I’ll see you again when I’m ready to hold your hand, and when you’re ready to hold mine.” Letting go is “I’ll miss your hand. I realized it’s not mine to hold, and I will never hold it again.”

Unknown (via jennayliu)

[angel-jongjin]

Goodbye.

Well, after serious consideration I've decided to abandon this account for now. I keep getting caught up and worried about the people I care about who I've rped with but who seem to want nothing to do with me. That really hurts and I can't shake the pit in my stomach checking and seeing, "You don't care" or "I'm tired of *insert flaws here*" Maybe I should just stop? Maybe I should give up? It's obvious my presence isn't needed and I'm tired of trying only to get nothing. You wanna hold a grudge against me that's fine. You want to play the victim that's fine. I'm the villain in all the stories anyway. The one cloaked in nice trappings who you were caught in the trap of. I'm really tired of that. I'm really tired of being wrong. I'm tired of caring and watching you make assumptions and be insecure about everything even when I tell you it's nothing personal. That I want to talk. Maybe making a video and letting you see how hurt I am will make you understand but who knows if even by then you'll believe me. Maybe I'll start again and maybe I won't but what's done is done. If I keep putting myself out on a limb I'm afraid I'll fall and you won't catch me.

I love you all. I'm so very sorry. Watching the person I thought could trust and love unconditionally just tear apart a relationship that most of my life was built on has really put everything in perspective for me. Packing my life up and moving because we've become "inconvenient" is too sickening for words. I'm tired of being wrong and not being treated with kindness and courtesy and given the benefit of the doubt is too taxing. To have words put in my mouth by two people I love and trust because they're insecure is too much. I'm always been a very upfront person. I don't hide things or beat around the bush so the excuse of "I backed away because it was obvious you didn't want to talk to me" is a cop out. I always want to talk to you. I'm tired of being chopped liver.

And I'm going to stop here because this is part of a conversation I've been waiting to have for a bit and is personal but I can't find myself to delete it. Sorry. I hope this leaves everyone with a good day, truly. 

I could come back to this account in a week's time or in a couple months or never so I'm sorry to anyone and everyone I've let down.

With honest and sincere affection, Jongjin's Typist.

[angel-jongjin]

I am having to pack up my life and home and move in the next few months so I am not sure if I'll be on much.

[angel-jongjin]

Note: If you want any of these combined let me know [like make him an artist who is selectively mute and deathly afraid of closed spaces who is in need of therapy but is unwilling to go, etc]. I have a strong muse for everything I list and will be on at least once every two to three days if not...

[angel-jongjin]

Poll for Jongjin

Note: If you want any of these combined let me know [like make him an artist who is selectively mute and deathly afraid of closed spaces who is in need of therapy but is unwilling to go, etc]. I have a strong muse for everything I list and will be on at least once every two to three days if not more, schedule and health permitting.

Descendant of a fallen angel who is stuck repeating his past mistakes until he finds the "key" to his freedom (whatever form that key should take) [will have a substance abuse problem and will partake in dark and dangerous activities (as well as having a very limited/reasonable hidden skill ]

Aspiring artist who has multiple personality disorder and is in therapy despite claiming that it is useless as well as working two jobs and putting himself through school

Selective mute with a penchant for writing in notebooks and on stickynotes (among other things) as a method of communication, abhors loud noises of any kind unless in the bedroom

Hard of hearing/deaf individual with a complicated past that is generally open and cheery but deathly afraid of closed spaces or feeling trapped. [could almost count as a phobia]

[angel-jongjin]

Important question:

If I completely revamped Jongjin and started over from scratch who would be interested?

[onemore-mistake-deactivated2014]

[angel-jongjin]

Important question:

If I completely revamped Jongjin and started over from scratch who would be interested?

[angel-jongjin]

How many times do I have to say "I'm sorry"? Oh yes I'm sorry, as you well know.

Something Happened On The Way To Heaven by Phil Collins

[angel-jongjin]

{{I regret not ever coming to talk to you. I was intimidated by your literacy tbqh. I dunno your full story on what's going on but I just wanted to say I really liked your character, and you seem like a cool person I'd want to rp with. I hope you find more happiness in your future and whatever it is gets better.}} -Shy Admirer.

{ Oh gosh, I think I teared up a little on the inside. Thank you Anon. I wish you would have as well. Literacy or not I enjoy plotting with anyone and everyone so I’m sure we would have found something. Thank you again, this message means a lot to me. I am better now I guess because I’m not holding everything in, you know? I might keep Jongjin but I still don’t know. If I do he’ll be completely revamped and I still need to have a complete conversation with my partner. But anyway, thank you for the third time and I hope you do well on your future endeavors too.}}

[angel-jongjin]

I'm worth forgetting.

I will most likely terminate Jongjin’s account in the next week even though I adore him. Please have the best day however. I apologize for my emotional post that I published a couple minutes ago and bid you all adieu. Feel free to unfollow him/delete on AIM or whatever.

[angel-jongjin]

◎ Who are you in love with?

"It doesn't matter because no one cares."

[angel-jongjin]

I'm worth forgetting.

I will most likely terminate Jongjin’s account in the next week even though I adore him. Please have the best day however. I apologize for my emotional post that I published a couple minutes ago and bid you all adieu. Feel free to unfollow him/delete on AIM or whatever.

[angel-jongjin]

I'm sorry this long thing isn't under readmore I'm on mobile

You know what, as I’ve browsed through various blogs and seen things I don’t even know why to say. I’m sorry I have health problems. I’m sorry I am forgetful. I’m sorry I lose our conversation. I’m sorry I get distracted by things and don’t reply for awhile. I’m sorry I’m such a royal fuck up. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Fuck. How many more times do I have to say it? How many more times do I have to explain that it’s nothing personal? How many more times do I have to explain that I occasionally lose myself because I’m fucking human and I make mistakes? I’m sorry I’m such a goddamn disappointment. I’m sorry I can’t be a better person because I have flaws. Does it make you feel better that I cry because I’m so lost right now? That I disappoint everyone I know because I can’t be like I was before I started getting really sick? That I’m probably depressed but can’t even begin to think about that because its so overwhelming? Does shutting me out because I forget to contact you or fail to meet what you want me to do make you feel better? Does replacing me because I’m flawed and I can’t be on this account as much as I want make it all okay for you? I want to talk with you. I love how our characters interact. I enjoy rping but maybe this entire thing was a mistake because it can’t be healthy that I cry at night because I’m so goddamn guilty. I can’t even log on without feeling so oppressively bad for disappointing everyone on a daily basis. Believe me or not, call me a liar or not I’m fucking done. I have my medical records and ER dates and visits as actual proof so if you don’t believe me then I can send them to you. It makes me sick that I’m even at the point of having to do that with anyone. How many more times do I have to try for you, any of you, to accept me? To care for me or any of my characters despite my obvious problems? Have I really reached the point where I’m considering stopping doing what I love because of this? I think I’ll stop here before I actually start crying again. And for added proof I might just attach my ER picture after I was rushed in a week ago when I get home in a few days.

I feel so sick right now (emotionally and physically) and I bet no one will care. Or even read this so why do I bother.

[angel-jongjin]

Announcement

I'll be returning in a few days, my week's reprieve is over and it seems like I'm getting better. I just have to return to my house after going on an extended trip to meet family so I should return around Thursday. I hope everyone is going well and thank you to those who sent me messages, that was really sweet.

-Jongjin's Typist.