B“H

chaya, adult am yisrael chai • any pronouns main: brindow

[wifehaver103947]

imagine cloth mother and wire mother in family court competing for custody of the baby monkey

[clothmotherofficial]

I Have Softness For You

[officialwiremother]

i have milk for you

[babymonkeyofficial]

Stop.

[kingsolomonofficial]

Cut the baby monkey in half

[hiddurmitzvah]

"What kind of God would He be if I could understand Him?"

- The Kotzker Rebbe

[jewishmuppet]

I love dressing the Torah. I need one of those little 2000s-era doll dress-up games but it's dressing a Torah scroll

[needzamezuzah]

Found an earthworm so big I had to say a bracha.

[needzamezuzah]

LOOK AT THIS DUDE

[yesornopolls]

Do strangers often mispronounce your name?

Do strangers often mispronounce your name?

Yes

No

Voting ended onMay 26

[some-israeli-guy]

In 12 years of school, not once has a teacher pronounced my last name correctly on their first try. It's one fucking syllable

[ketubahring]

Shabbat Shalom 🤍

So excited to be back making more art!!

Copyright © 2026 Ketubah Ring. No reproduction, printing, resale, or use without permission.

[uraniumgeranium]

Ashkenazi charoset this..... Sephardic charoset that....

I want to see a white trash American charoset made with mini marshmallows and canned crushed pineapple.

[avosettas]

hey can anyone tell me where i can get chad gadya for two zuzim? seems like a really cheap price for this day and age but i heard from Hashem who heard from the angel of death who heard from the shochet who heard from the ox who heard from the water who heard from the fire who heard from the stick who heard from the dog who heard from the cat who heard from the goat that someone's father bought that goat for just two zuzim

[romehbo]

my idea for a new tumblr dash UI update. what do you all think.

[nonbinaryjudean]

panties that say THE ZIONIST ENTITY. matching bra that says ZIONIST ENTITTIES

[magnetothemagnificent]

Should Big Gedalia Goomber be a Marvel or DC character?

Marvel

DC

Who the fuck is Big Gedalia Goomber?

Voting ended onMar 19

[captainlordauditor]

Saw a Threads post like "Jews what's your most heretical take" and everyone was giving really boring baseline Reform stuff like "patrilineal Jews are Jews" or "you don't need to keep kosher"

Had to come here to ask jumblr for the unhinged takes. Mine is that men shouldn't be rabbis because it makes a shul too much like the Beis HaMikdash

[captainlordauditor]

You guys are not listening either!! i need the UNHINGED takes the CRAZY ones

[tikkunolamorgtfo]

1. The 25th hour of Shabbat has been rendered unnecessary and should no longer be observed.

2. Rabbinic rulings on the permissibility of various disability accommodations are only valid if the posek had first-hand experience living with the specific disability in question.

3. The sages aren’t better than me just because they were born first.

[pargolettasworld]

Borei p're haGafen literally means "creator of the fruit of the vine." This should mean any fruit that grows on a vine, not just grapes. This should include tomatoes, which are fruits that grow on vines. Just because they're New World fruits doesn't mean they should be ignored.

What I'm really trying to say is that you should be able to make Kiddush after Shacharit on a Bloody Mary.

[cjedi]

When my dad was feeling Done with the week, he would light candles, open my mom's usual evening beer, say haGafen over the hops in it, haMotzi over the grain in it, give us two sips, and be done with declaring Shabbat.

[pargolettasworld]

I was today years old when I learned that hops grows on vines!

[deskuvro]

Netilat yadayim should be done with lathered soap for as long as it takes to sing “Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star” and hand sanitizer should be an acceptable alternative

[captainlordauditor]

I disagree mainly because I'm certain there MUST be a psalm or something we can say instead that's a similar length of time

[deskuvro]

I feel like Psalm 51 would be thematically correct! What do you reckon?

[daughterofstories]

The thing is, you actually can make kiddush over a bloody mary, because you can make kiddush over any alcohol (you just say shehakol).

The actual unhinged take would be that you can make kiddush over shakshuka.

[zaprowsdower27]

American Jew option: kiddush over hamburger because ketchup

[ikeepbeez]

Disagree on the vine thing because a gefen is a specific type of vine, botanically. Yes, watermelons and pumpkins and cucumbers and tomatoes vine, but those are single-season, herbaceous vines. Whereas grape vines are woody vines, which put out new vegetative growth each year and the fruit grows on the second+ year wood. AFAIK vitis spp. are the only ones to do this (blackberries/raspberries are canes or brambles, not vines, and they only fruit the second year). So much like bananas grow on trees but they're halachically not pri ha'eitz because not wood, tomatoes grow on vines but they're halachically not pri hagefen because not wood.

[chutzpahchesed]

[koshercosplay]

I love finding out about things after they happen

[magnetothemagnificent]

SAME OMG LMFAO

[id: image with a blue flag and the text "Maked Safe Frum tumblr outage Today thanks to shabbat"]

[pusheenthenerdcat]

prev changing "from" to "frum" is such a funny typo on a shabbat post lmao

[magnetothemagnificent]

Oh nooo

[illegitimatetenenbaum]

My quite possibly only flex is that when I type "cha" into my search bar, it autofills chabad.org and not ChatGPT.

[magnetothemagnificent]

Sexiest of the Shivat HaMinim (Seven Species)

Wheat

Barley

Grapes

Fig

Pomegranate

Olives

Dates

Voting ended onFeb 8

Chag Tu B'Shvat Sameach!

[coffeefrenchandhistory]

Not only is this the first Shabbat (30 Jan. 2026) with not a single hostage in Gaza, the first Shabbat in 12 years, but it’s also Shabbat Shirah.

This feels… I don’t know. Meaningful in a way I can’t put into words.

[dovymcjewpunk]

Tradition says that Torah is the blueprint of the Universe. The weekly parshah is often believed to reflect current events (personal, national/all Israel, or worldwide). This was the first time that really hit home for me.