save your tears

penned by lena

[angelfallens]

4evilz​:

            she  doesn’t  need  any  advice  from  sutton  ,  having  learned  enough  lessons  in  her  company  —  even  more  in  her  absence  .  and  the  last  thing  she  needs  right  now  is  tips  off  the  tongue  of  a  girl  who  will  say  anything  to  achieve  her  personal  goals  .  irony  presents  itself  in  how  she’s  suddenly  found  this  clarity  over  the  other’s  intentions  after  so  long  of  feigned  naivety  .    “  well  ,  mutual  benefit  is  clearly  off  the  table  ,  so  i  don’t  see  the  point  in  wasting  my  time  .  ”    one  shoulder  lifts  tongue  runs  over  lips  dry  with  boredom  .    “  this  seems  more  like  the  perfect  opportunity  to  start  cleaning  out  the  client  roster  ,  actually  .  ”    and  of  course  gaze  makes  a  point  as  it  flicks  up  to  femme’s  features  .  there’s  simply  nothing  else  she  has  to  say  to  the  one  standing  before  her  ,  but  even  then  ,  she’s  also  not  making  any  moves  to  urge  the  unwanted  out  and  slam  the  door  in  her  face  .  a  silent  push  and  pull  they’ve  become  experts  in  .  now  the  femme  is  talking  down  to  a  fucking  fruit  and  she’s  left  to  sigh  to  herself  ,  eyes  rolling  up  briefly  as  arms  cross  over  chest  .    “  what  ,  some  guy  snort  one  too  many  lines  off  your  tits  and  now  you’re  on  the  run  ?  ”    inane  comment  is  only  appropriate  from  the  one  plagued  with  impatience  .    “  seriously  ,  not  only  are  you  wasting  my  time  ,  but  yours  too  when  you  should  already  be  thinking  of  a  thousand  other  ways  to  save  your  own  ass  .  ”    she’s  pushing  herself  away  from  the  counter  ,  grabbing  her  glass  and  signaling  her  dismissal  from  their  exchange  .

      “ mutual benefit is never off the table, ” she quips back just to tease, just to try and make minseo feel stupid for treating this so seriously, but minseo shuts down her bait so fast and it’s a move sutton hasn’t accounted for. she feels the heat of the moment slipping through her fingers. it’s all about timing, and she’s miscalculated, apparently. lately she’s been off her game; falling prey to her own emotions, speaking before she thinks, acting impulsively — more so than usual. “ wait, minseo, ” it pushes out of her before she even realizes what she’s doing, standing quickly in case she needs to follow her. but it comes as a shock to her system — something as simple as speaking the other girl’s name out loud — and in the awkward pause that follows, her mouth opens and closes a few times, having gone into this completely blind. finally she shakes her head, only able to muster a dejected, “ please, ” spoken thinly. what she’s even asking for, she doesn’t know, and it’s a five letter word she’s not even sure she’s ever spoken in front of the other, but her shoulders drop with it. the mask is gone for a brief moment, eyes meeting in a quiet chant of see me, see me, see me, but as soon as she shows any vulnerability, her walls spring back up tenfold, and when the other takes just a second too long to respond, sutton turns away, scoffing. “ fine, ” she mutters coldly, and suddenly she’s a girl unrecognizable from the past few minutes, jerk instinct is to overcompensate tenfold. “ but when they find my body on the side of the road somewhere and they have to use my dental records to identify me because i’m, like, pulverized, you’ll get the pleasure of spending the rest of your life knowing you were the only person who could have done something about it, and i hope it eats you alive. ”  run-on sentence boasts her penchant for dramatics but there’s some semblance of truth in the way she’s obviously put some thought into every worst case scenario. “ and i’ll haunt you from hell, which will be ten times worse than haunting you in person, but i’m sure you’ll get off on it because you’re some sort of fucking masochist or something, i don’t fucking know. ”

[angelfallens]

4evilz​:

            the  lack  of  banter  has  suspicion  raised  ,  and  it  doesn’t  take  more  than  a  second  for  her  to  run  through  a  variety  of  scenarios  that  the  other  has  found  herself  in  ,  how  desperate  she  must  be  if  she  can’t  so  much  as  offer  a  quip  back  .  but  of  course  sutton  retains  her  sense  of  entitlement  to  her  aid  ,  she’s  learned  not  to  expect  anything  more  or  less  from  her  ex  .  it’s  obvious  the  other’s  proposition  is  only  meant  to  draw  in  her  attention  ,  to  prompt  her  to  cave  in  with  her  once  eager  will  to  solve  all  of  sutton’s  problems  .  years  ago  ,  a  huge  part  of  her  wished  her  efforts  would  reward  her  with  a  lost  connection  .  but  evidently  ,  the  clock  continued  to  tick  past  12  every  night  and  gradually  hope  deteriorated  until  nothing  was  left  .  so  when  she  finally  turns  to  greet  the  femme’s  presence  ,  she  searches  for  the  slightest  hint  of  anticipation  before  offering  an  answer  .    “  it’s  less  about  my  capabilities  and  more  about  my  desire  ,  ”    she  reveals  with  the  tilt  of  her  head  .    “  or  lack  there  of  ,  ”    she  simply  corrects  .  eyes  drift  over  decorative  fruits  before  picking  back  up  to  meet  the  other’s  ,  disregarding  the  noticeable  difference  in  presentation  .    “  so  i  think  i’ll  be  passing  on  this  one  .  ”

        minseo turns to her and sutton doesn’t move an inch, doesn’t let herself show any sort of reaction, but she feels slightly relieved at something as simple as a familiar face. somewhere, under her mask, under the layers and layers of porcelain, there’s a version of herself that’s aching for sutton to look at her. to see her — a longing for someone to know her well enough to see through it all. but she’s wound so tightly that she thinks she’d snap into pieces if someone were to ask her something as simple as are you okay? with a quiet huff, she digs the point of her nail into the skin of a pear, just because, eyes flickering back up to minseo when she replies with an answer sutton figures she should have anticipated. “ you’re a shit businesswoman, you know that? ” minseo might come from a different background, but sutton’s got her own share of expertise garnered from her own familial ties. “ you never turn down a deal before hearing the stipulations. ” because everything — everything — is transactional. if her father has taught her anything, it’s that. even emotions. feelings, it’s all currency, and she’s not above playing heartstrings like a harp if it means getting what she needs. but she’s worn thin, and so even though deep down she knows she’ll always walk away from this with want she wants — knows she’s persistent enough to wear even the most stubborn of men down — there’s still a hint of desperation piquing from the back of her throat as she speaks again after the silence lingers for too long. if there’s anything that will make her squirm, it’s silence, the unspokens always too hard to decipher. “ it’s different this time, ” she adds as casually as she can, muttering to the pear. “ it’s not like those stupid little misunderstandings i could have handled on my own. ” if it was easier for her to say i need you, this would be over in a flash, but she’s sutton, for god’s sakes, it’s never easy. “ at least don’t pretend you’re not curious about where i’ve been. don’t be impolite. ” 

[angelfallens]

4evilz​:

            it  just  had  to  be  the  night  before  she’s  decided  to  change  the  locks  ,  hadn’t  it  ?  body  should  tense  at  the  distant  tones  ,  6  digit  code  inputted  so  effortlessly  ,  but  not  a  single  muscle  constricts  upon  the  sound  of  heels  echoing  through  out  dimly  lit  interior    —  a  strange  mix  of  comfort  and  anger  washing  over  with  the  surprise  of  the  estranged  .  with  her  back  turned  from  the  source  ,  eyes  lift  to  fixate  on  the  view  from  window  wall  overlooking  the  midnight  city  ,  glazed  over  and  slow  blinking  .  and  as  the  femme  picks  up  without  even  a  hint  of  remorse  ,  an  action  that’s  become  so  routine  at  this  point  ,  she’ll  force  herself  to  forget  all  the  intrusive  thoughts  she’s  allowed  to  plague  her  mind  over  months  of  usual  absence  .  so  many  questions  she’s  asked  herself  that  if  ever  spoken  out  loud  ,  even  she  could  find  herself  laughable  ,  especially  with  the  reputation  she’s  built  for  herself  thus  far  .  but  years  of  convoluted  history  would  do  that  to  the  now  infamous  patron  .  unadmittedly  ,  sutton  always  seems  to  draw  out  tendencies  of  her  past  self  ,  ones  that  favored  mercy  over  the  same  girl  that  loved  to  bleed  her  dry  .  real  question  is  if  whether  or  not  she  would  allow  the  other  to  do  just  same  in  this  instance  ,  as  ears  are  burdened  with  such  cryptic  questions  .    “  you  really  never  learn  ,  do  you  ?  ”  tone  presents  as  almost  entertained  ,  features  still  hidden  from  the  femme’s  view  .    “  even  with  a  gun  pointed  between  both  eyes  ,  you’d  still  try  until  the  fucking  trigger’s  pulled  .  ”    

      if you looked a little closer, maybe, with a trained eye, you’d see some of the telltale signs of how the past two months have treated sutton — the imperfect manicure, the smudged eyeliner and heavy undereyes that she’ll pass as a smoky eye if pressed — all collateral from too much time away from home, a few nights of partying too many. when this started, she was chasing excitement, a change of scenery, but somewhere along the way it’s turned into running from something. she’s adept at just that — running from things — but somehow, minseo’s apartment is always the place where it catches up to her. maybe because the only time she ever sets foot here anymore is when she’s at her last resort. images of a simpler time flash through her mind — nights where she’d actually allowed herself to pay any mind to the stunning view of the city stretched out before them, nights where she might have started allowing herself to believe that home didn’t necessarily have to be four walls. but that was back when she wasn’t the stone-hearted girl she thought herself to be, when she still held hope that she was capable of sharing something meaningful with another. that version of herself wouldn’t recognize the sutton that sits here now, the one who barely reacts to the sound of an old flame’s voice after so long. internally, maybe, there’s something that resembles a slight tug at her chest, but she writes it off before it even enters her subconscious. focus instead is on minseo’s words, finding no offense in them, merely humming her agreement. she’s right, after all. if this was a different night, under different circumstances, maybe she’d let herself lean back into their usual cat-and-mouse dynamic, how these moments are always laden with a tension that neither of them can truly pin down as either flirty or vengeful. sutton’s always been more apt to assume it’s a mix of both. but tonight, for once, she’s fresh off a midnight train, resolve just slightly weakened, and so she doesn’t have the patience to beat around the bush. ( oddly enough, every witty comeback she conjures up only threatens to come out as something closer to i missed you. ) lost in thought for a moment, she catches herself, remembering the task at hand. she clears her throat, straightening. “ i need some shit taken care of. ” pausing for dramatic effect, she reaches across the island, pulling the basket of fruit closer to her and making her selection. “ but it might be slightly above your pay grade. not sure you’re capable enough, you know? ”  

[angelfallens]

      sutton’s played pretend her entire life. enough that sometimes it feels like she’s put on so many different masks that she’s lost track of the girl underneath them — lost any way of getting back to her. but it’s also fun. and she’s good at it. so she doesn’t let herself harp on the negatives — always seeking a distraction in the form of chasing her next fix, and all the forms that comes in. she’s still tying up the loose ends of her last escapade, though, which involved falling off the face of the earth until the dust settled. but now she’s running out of patience, and sitting around and waiting for a problem to fix itself isn’t exactly her strong suit, so she’s found her way back to the city she despises, to the building that sports more familiarity than her own. for all their faults, minseo’s still something of a constant in her life, still the doorstep she always winds up back on, the key code she knows by heart, even if she knows weaseling her way back in is never easy. still, she’s lost track of how many times she’s shown up here over the years, sporting a different hair color, cloaked in an outfit worth more than half the cars in the parking lot ( and once, when they’d been on better terms, in a fur coat with nothing underneath ). today she’s blonde ( subject to change ) and her outfit’s more pared down than usual, more of a disguise than a statement, because deep down she knows she’s gotten herself into a mess enough that she should lay low. light floods in from the hallway as she lets herself in ( because she’s far past knocking ) and appears in the kitchen as if it’s nothing, as if it hasn’t been radio silence on her end for weeks now, her footsteps the only warning as she sits herself at the island, sizing minseo up for any subtle changes in the time she’s been gone. “ so, ” she clears her throat, eyes flickering up and down, never good with casual conversation starters, “ just out of curiosity, really, how much power does your family actually have? ” she keeps a close eye on minseo’s reaction, assured that she’ll be able to convince ( some might say manipulate ) the other into saving her ass once more. this isn’t new. sutton likes to tell herself — despite the fact that minseo would likely kill her if she even suggested it — that she still has her ex-girlfriend wrapped around her finger. “ and how much of that power can you utilize, if you wanted to? ” ( @4evilz​ )

[halfsevil-a]

               𝙻 𝙾 𝚂 𝚃    𝙸 𝙽    𝚃 𝙸 𝙼 𝙴                :      silver&    korinne    . @angelfallens​

[angelfallens]

halfsevil​:

          she’s  shaking  her  head  as  she  peers  up  the  other  ,  refusing  to  believe  words  that  make  perfect  sense  .  conflict  always  seems  to  unravel  like  this  ,  keomi  wanting  to  walk  away  rather  than  face  her  own  oversight  .  but  dom  already  predicts  her  next  move  ,  taking  hold  of  her  wrist  and  refusing  to  let  her  flee  .  still  ,  she  keeps  her  back  turned  ,  unable  to  allow  her  lover  to  witness  how  her  features  crack  upon  hearing  all  the  ways  she’s  caused  a  scene  ,  over  a  narrative  only  she  was  pushing  into  reality  .  unfortunately  ,  the  assurance  gracing  her  ears  isn’t  anything  she  hasn’t  heard  before  ,  all  from  exes  who  burned  her  time  after  time  .  i  haven’t  lied  to  you  once  .      “  maybe  i  find  that  hard  to  believe  .  ”      she  finally  breaks  her  silence  ,  a  little  too  sharply  for  how  somber  her  own  realization  makes  her  feel  .  her  doubt  doesn’t  stem  from  the  other’s  actions  —  if  anything  ,  dom  has  only  been  all  she’s  ever  desired  —  but  from  emotional  wounds  left  untreated  for  so  long  .  and  she  wishes  she  was  sorry  that  she  felt  this  way  .      “  it  all  just  feels  too  good  to  be  true  .  .  .  ”      she  confesses  ,  practically  rolling  her  eyes  at  her  own  pathetic  words  before  letting  out  a  sigh  .

           keomi won’t even turn around to look at them and dom hates that they’ve done anything to cause her distress, no matter how unintentionally. but ever since the beginning, they’ve been unable to understand why keomi regards them as if they’ll betray her at any moment. it doesn’t make sense — they’ve done nothing but prove the opposite, and yet keomi’s always waiting for the other shoe to drop. “ you’re smart, keomi. you’d figure out right away if i was lying to you. ” head shakes, and they grow frustrated with themselves for their inability to comfort her, to find the right thing to say to make it all better. they’re not good at these things. “ i’ve never had any reason to lie, anyway. all i want to do it be around you, i —, ” four-letter word threatens to slip out but they swallow it back before it can be hinted at, taking a deep breath. “ just tell me what you want me to do, ” they sigh. “ do you want me to stop talking to them? i will. i’ll stop talking to anyone but you. ”  it’s a genuine offer, showcasing a willingness to do whatever it takes to prove it to her, and they’d think nothing of it, no matter how unhealthy it might appear. “ really. i’ll do whatever you tell me. ”

[angelfallens]

halfsevil​:

          such  determination  in  her  eyes  to  catch  the  other  in  a  slip  ,  to  uncover  the  truth  she’s  so  dead  -  set  on  bringing  to  life  .  but  dom’s  hands  caress  her  cheeks  ,  and  although  she  tries  to  pull  away  at  first  ,  she’s  calmly  forced  to  meet  their  gaze  ,  head  turning  before  eyes  eventually  flicker  up  .      “    i  saw  you  ,  with  that  girl  .    ”      her  glare  only  hardens  at  the  recollection  ,  bitter  taste  left  in  her  mouth  as  she  peers  up  at  them  .  dom’s  reminder  works  to  chisel  away  at  her  suspicion  ,  but  it’s  her  next  sighed  warning  that  has  keomi  suddenly  tensing  in  her  embrace  .      “    can’t  keep  doing  what  ?  us  ?    ”      brows  furrow  before  she’s  tearing  herself  from  their  hands  .

       “ what girl? asami? ” dom can’t help but laugh, only for the fact that the accusation is even more ridiculous with context. “ i’ve known her since we were in diapers, and she’s in a relationship. it’s not like that. when i came back to introduce you, you’d already stormed off. you didn’t even give me a chance. ” they nod to her. nothing but confusion flashes over their features when she’s tearing away suddenly, needing a moment to realize how keomi’s interpreted her words. heavy sigh follows and they step forward, grabbing her wrist before she can up and leave altogether. “ can’t do you getting hurt over and over. i don’t want that. i want us to find a better way to work through these things. ” they can’t stand the sight of her upset. they’re obsessed with her, have been since day one, and it’s frustrating that they can’t seem to make it clear enough. “ don’t you get it? if i wanted someone else, i would be with someone else. i want you. i don’t know why you can’t just believe me. ” head shakes. “ i haven’t lied to you once. ”

[angelfallens]

halfsevil​:

          for  someone  who  likes  to  run  her  mouth  ,  she’s  awfully  cryptic  ,  that  much  is  true  .  a  fact  that  she  would  never  admit  to  herself  ,  especially  when  she’s  convinced  that  she’s  practically  spelled  it  out  for  the  other  .  so  features  offer  nothing  but  offense  taken  by  the  genuine  confusion  in  dom’s  words  .      “    you  know  what  i’m  talking  about  ,  so  don’t  act  clueless  with  me  .    ”      maybe  she  should  take  a  moment  to  reexamine  her  evidence  ,  but  she’s  too  blinded  by  her  jealousy  .      “    like  how  much  clearer  can  i  make  myself  ?  at  this  point  it’s  like  you’re  trying  to  make  me  look  stupid  .    ”      and  so  what  if  she  was  proven  wrong  before  ,  time  after  time  ?  she  could  never  be  too  cautious  that  this  would  be  the  one  time  she  was  right  .  scoff  accompanies  incredulous  gaze  .      “    i  saw  you  .    ”

       “ i’m not acting clueless, i — ” they start, but keomi’s still talking, and they sigh, leaning back against the wall and listening as she goes on. they don’t know how to make it clearer to her. “ keomi, ” they sigh, turning to her, the closest thing to frustration evident in their voice. “ saw me what? ” they reach up, taking her face in their hands, thumbs resting gently on her cheeks to direct her gaze. they’re the only person who can be on the receiving end of keomi’s glare and never flinch, a fact they probably take for granted. “ we’ve been together for three days in a row. nonstop. what do you think i did? ” head shakes. “ we can’t keep doing this over and over. ”

[angelfallens]

halfsevil​:

          “   i’m  serious  .  like  if  you  wanna  keep talking  to  other  girls  ,  be  my  guest  .  it’s  not  like  our  relationship  means  anything  ,  right  ?   ”

           “ what are you talking about? ” eyes narrow in an attempt to study the other, still trying to figure out why she’s acting differently. “ why can’t you ever just say what you’re thinking? ” their head shakes. from anyone else it would be delivered with the intent to start an argument, but from dom, it’s a genuine question, an attempt to try and figure her out. “ why do you get upset and then have to make me jump through hoops to figure out why? wouldn’t it just be easier to tell me what’s wrong so i can help you? ” head tilts, rambling slightly. “ most of the time whatever you’re worried about ends up being wrong, anyway. ” ( yet again, another accusation that would be an insult if it was spoken by anyone but dom. ) their shoulders rise and fall in a simple shrug. “ i don’t get it. ”

[angelfallens]

halfsevil​:

           “    you  don’t  have  to  apologize  for  him  ,    ”  he  assures  without  skipping  a  beat  .  “    i  really  just  came  by  to  see  if  you’re  okay  .  i  wasn’t  sure  if  you’ve  eaten  yet  so  i  bought  a  little  something  .    ”

        “ oh, ” she replies simply, standing there idly for a few moments. honestly, she’s surprised he showed up again, had already resolved herself to the fact that last night scared him off for good. she glances to the bag in his hand, tired smile tugging at her lips no matter how she tries to fight it. “ did you get enough for both of us? or is this, like, a drop off...? ” she motions vaguely, still a bit caught off guard by just a gesture. with a quick breath, she shakes her head, stepping aside to open the door wider. “ do you want to come in? ”

[angelfallens]

halfsevil​:

*      ₒ       𝙾  𝙿  𝙴  𝙽       ʿ  ³³³  ʾ             ⤷    f  /  nb​​    ₓ

          “   trust  me  ,  i  am  not  jealous  … ”

“ okay, cool. ”

[angelfallens]

halfsevil​:

           smile  reaches  eyes  as  laugh  falls  from  lips  easily  .  “    how  cute  of  you  ,  honestly  .  and  i  suppose  i’ll  say  this  once  ,  because  you  obviously  don’t  know  any  better  ,  but  baby  if  i  were  you  ,  i’d  learn to keep  my  fucking  mouth  shut   —   fast  .    ”

      “ you’re forgetting who i am, zihan, ” she laughs, tongue tracing over her teeth. “ you so much as lay a finger on me? and you’re fucked. ” she steps closer, paired with a coquettish tilt of her head. “ and don’t call me baby. let’s start there. ”  maybe she’s having too much fun with this, but she doesn’t care. 

[angelfallens]

halfsevil​:

          “    well  luckily  for  you  ,  i’m  not  a  lightweight  .  crystal  clear  .    ”   —   “    so  you’re  not  here  to  apologize  ?    ”

  “ i don’t really remember having anything to apologize for, so, ” she holds out a hand in a half-assed shrug. “ unless you’d care to enlighten me. ”

[angelfallens]

halfsevil​:

*      ₒ       𝙾  𝙿  𝙴  𝙽       ʿ  ³³³  ʾ           ⤷    anyone​​    ₓ

          “    i  don’t  know  ,  i  just  thought  i’d  stop  by  and  check  up  on  you  after  last  night  …  sorry  ?    ”

    “ it’s okay, ” she sighs, leaning against her doorframe, a bit surprised that he’d shown up after the night before. “ i had no idea he was going to be there. it’s my fault. ”

[halfsevil-a]

*      ₒ       𝙾  𝙿  𝙴  𝙽       ʿ  ³³³  ʾ           ⤷    f  /  nb​​    ₓ

          “    if  you’re  so  done  with  me   ,   why  are  you  here  ?     ”

[angelfallens]

    “  i said that? ” brow raises, “ honestly, i was so drunk i barely remember last night. ” 

[halfsevil-a]

*      ₒ       𝙾  𝙿  𝙴  𝙽       ʿ  ³³³  ʾ            ⤷    anyone​​    ₓ

          “    unfortunately  ,  there’s  nothing  i  can  do  .  and  even  if  there  was   —   what  makes  you  think  i  would  for  someone  like  you  ?    ”

[angelfallens]

    “ i’m just saying, it’s probably in your best interest. i’ve got enough on all of you that i could take you down, one by one, if you’re not smart about this. ”

[angelfallens]

lovedsick​

          “  like  you’re  easy  to  begin  with  ,  ”    they  toss  back  with  ease  ,  confident  smile  unwavering  .    “  y’know  ,  honestly  i  haven’t  had  the  time  to  think  about  other  options  ,  not  after  seeing  you  tonight  .  ”    the  simple  lift  of  her  shoulder  follows  ,  only  to  be  met  suddenly  by  the  femme’s  complete  attention  .  they’re  surprised  to  witness  korinne’s  acceptance  ,  it’s  evident  on  their  features  for  a  brief  moment  before  grin  returns  .  it’s  what  she’s  expected  ,  after  all  .    “  don’t  worry  ,  doll  ,  i’m  sure  you  lose  track  along  the  way  .  ”

         “ it’s been years, silver. quit acting like you still have me all figured out. ” a lot has changed in their time apart, and she’s still not sure silver deserves the privilege of finding out what. but she’ll indulge regardless, even just to satisfy her own curiosity. but she likes that she’s taken silver by surprise — it’s exactly what she wants, to keep her on her toes. “ don’t call me doll, ” she says simply, giving the other no time to argue as she closes out her tab and grabs her purse. “ lead the way. ”