Most mornings I woke up with Harry’s finger softly tracing miscellaneous patterns on my bare skin.
I would focus only on his gentle exhales, sometimes hitting my skin which resulted in a trail of goosebumps forming on my arms. Sometimes if I was lucky, I would hear the rhythmic beating of his heart if my head was positioned on the right place.
I’d lay there for a while, simply wanting to drown in his touch, not wanting to disturb the moment. But Harry would eventually notice I was awake and shower me with sweet good morning kisses before convincing me to join him for breakfast.
But this morning was different.
I woke up with the sheets tightly wrapped around my body and Harry no where in sight.
I feel the familiar tension build in my temples causing a groan to leave my lips. I roll over on the bed, hiding my face from the sunlight that poured through the curtains.
And that’s when I remembered last night.
I stood in front of Harry, feeling completely helpless. The thought of Harry being with another girl was one of my biggest fears, let alone that girl being my best friend. But that fear was never met with reality and I never expected it to. I completely trusted him. My Harry would never do this.
“Please do, Harry. Because there must be a good fucking reason why I just...” My voice was laced with both anger and sadness. Harry just stood before me, looking as fucking perfect as ever, even if he was almost completely drenched with the downpour.
I tried to find the right words. Words that could cut deep. But standing in front of Harry, who looked down at me with his mesmerising viridescent eyes that were glistening with tears, I couldn’t find the strength.
“How could you do this to me?”
I ask quietly, my voice cracking ever so slightly. My eyes peering up at his own, my vision blurring - from the alcohol or the fact that my heart was absolutely torn, who knows.
“Y/N, please just..” I watched as Harry took one weak step towards me, instinctively making me take one step away from him. Harry winced, his chin dimpling slightly, noticeably trying to fight back tears.
“Please don’t do that, please. I dont know what I was thinking, I- I-“
Harry was falling apart in front of me. Probably more emotional that usual, seeing as he has had a drink. He was trembling, probably from the relentless rain that poured on us both. I was trembling too.
“I’m gonna go now, Harry.”
I turned on my heels, turning away from Harry.
“At least tell me where you’re going?”
Harry shouted from behind me, his footsteps close to my own. I kept my head down, trying (but failing) to avoid the rain from touching the skin on my face, seeing as it was numb from the cold.
“Y/N, where are you-“ l felt Harry grab my arm, resulting in me snatching my arm back instantly. Stopping in my tracks only to look up at him once again.
“Home! I’m going home to sleep in our fucking bed, Harry. As for you, I don’t give a shit where you sleep tonight!”
I bite harshly, the words feeling foreign on my tongue, surprising Harry and even myself. I felt the anger bubbling in my chest, my eyes still blurry from the concoction of alcohol and tears.
Harry took a step back, slightly taken aback from my words. His cheeks were flushed and stained with tears, his hair that was once styled nicely was now dripping wet with strands slick to his forehead. His eyebrows were pulled together, a small crease forming in between.
“I can’t even look at you right now.” I snarl at him, our eyes locking for a good couple seconds, almost as if we were exchanging silent words between each other, before I turned my back on him.
Once again I found myself sobbing as I heard Harry call for me.
Laying on my bed with my arms spread around my head and the covers kicked off from my body, silently staring up at the ceiling. I thought about the events that took place last night.
I could almost pass it off as a bad dream, but it was all too real, yet surreal? Harry wouldn’t do that to me, and if he didn’t, what did I see?
Am I going delusional? Or did I really catch him with her? Once again my vision was blurred with tears as I recalled them two together. My best friend.
I turned my head towards the nightstand to where my phone was situated before struggling to reach it, too lazy to sit up and reach it with ease.
As my fingers eventually clasped around it, I rolled onto my stomach, holding myself up with my elbows as I unlocked my mobile - only to find that I had 24 missed calls and 12 texts from both Y/F/N and Harry.
I hate myself, please call me
Y/N, I love you, please just let me know you’re okay
I read over her texts begging me to call her, to text her, to tell her that I got home fine. I tap away, closing her texts only to open Harry’s.
I could feel my breath hitch in my throat, seeing his name written across my screen, followed by a small heart - which couldn’t compare to how much love and adoration I had for him.
I know that what I did last night was inexcusable and I know that I don’t deserve you
I can’t sleep knowing that I hurt you.
I love you. So fucking much it hurts
My eyes kept scanning over the last text, the tears that fell from my eyes dropping onto the phone screen, blurring the text ever so slightly.
I directed my sight towards the time written on the top of the screen, reading 12:13 pm.
I wondered what he was doing right now, or where he was. When I said I didn’t care, that was obviously a lie. Was he with her? Or was he at some fancy hotel that only he could afford? Every thought of him brought me more pain. I just wanted him beside me, telling me sweet nothings while completely hypnosising me with his sleepy green eyes and his heavenly lopsided smile. Oh, and his lips. If he was to kiss me right now I swear he could convince me that everything was alright, that everything was just fine.
But he wasn’t here and I couldn’t help but feel completely torn, like one of my limbs had been ripped from my body.
I didn’t realise I had been day dreaming, completely lost in my thoughts, until I felt a vibration from between my hands.
My attention immedietly turned to my phone screen, feeling my stomach drop immediately as I read out Harry’s name.
Hey, thank yall so much for your kind messages! I’m not entirely happy with how this turned out, so I’ll probably edit it when I have time. I worked a 9 hour shift at work and I’m dying slowly so please forgive me
let me know what you think of this!
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