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@angelmanica
I fell for the very false and dangerous idea that in order for someone to be heard, their voice must be civil, mannered, level-headed, and completely logical. That somehow if someone is “reasonable” enough, then their pain deserves a platform.
Years ago I had a conversation with a friend about how to confront racism. I said, “We just need civil discourse and to ask lots of questions so the racist will question themselves.” My friend agreed to an extent, but also gave a hard no: there has to be room for anger at the racism, he said, to be unequivocally clear that it’s wrong.
The thing is, politeness does not equal rightness. No one should have to meet a threshold of “niceness” in order for their pain to be heard. A hospital patient who is dying but thrashing about from pain still requires treatment. No one says “Be nice first” in order to qualify. Pain qualifies itself.
In an early draft of my book (and in some old interviews), I talked about bifurcation. It’s the process by which we “temper our anger until we can be heard.” But I realize now this is wrong. Anger is a legitimate response to pain. To temper it is to dull the very reason we were hurt in the first place.
In fact, in my cultural roots, it is even more wrong not to be angry. To hide anger means you didn’t care. It is honorable to be angry about injustice. To clean up anger into “polite discourse” is a westernized, suburbanized tactic to dismiss someone’s pain as hysteria.
Yes, anger can be abusive. Violence is not a solution. But to expect a perfectly crafted response when someone is in pain is just an arbitrary way to dismiss them. My guess is those who dismiss others’ pain do not want to admit, “They’re angry because I hurt them. I was responsible for that pain.”
It seems like the second we hear a voice push back, engage conflict, express rage, then an easy cop-out is to say “Don’t attack me, you’re so angry, I would hear you if you just calmed down.” But so rarely is the calm response ever heard. The tone is considered right, but the content is not considered at all.
When someone says “We need more love, less hate, we just want unity,” that’s a way to silence the ugly truth: that there is valid rage at real injustice. That politeness does not make rightness. That niceness is not a qualifier to be heard. Anger must be given room. It is a wound that must be tended to.
— J.S.
Sharing our thoughts with total strangers is one of the most dangerous acts in which we partake because they cannot understand the words we speak outside of the context of our life. Remember, what we speak is often the culmination of years of thought and experience. We speak to an audience that has not benefited from our journey.
Noone asked for it… Yet here we are :|
Top ten anime betrayals
In any relationship, there will be frightening spells in which your feelings of love dry up. And when that happens you must remember that the essence of marriage is that it is a covenant, a commitment, a promise of future love. So what do you do? You do the acts of love, despite your lack of feeling. You may not feel tender, sympathetic, and eager to please, but in your actions you must BE tender, understanding, forgiving and helpful. And, if you do that, as time goes on you will not only get through the dry spells, but they will become less frequent and deep, and you will become more constant in your feelings. This is what can happen if you decide to love.
Timothy Keller
Sin is pleasurable for a season.The only thing that make us stop sinning is the consequences that comes after it
(via faith-avenue)
WAKE UP!
Nahihilo na ko o.O I woke up at 4am this morning and didn’t go back to sleep -_-
https://www.instagram.com/p/BY2NjGXlZk4/
🧠💡🙏 #CatholicConnect #Pray https://www.instagram.com/p/BqRM7frAdz2/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=g9sye0om7k39
Since we have these promises, beloved, let us cleanse ourselves from every defilement of body and spirit, bringing holiness to completion in the fear of God.
2 Corinthians 7:1
More at —> http://1000lifehacks.com
When you are more intentional about your relationship with Jesus, it will prepare you to be more intentional regarding romantic relationships. ⠀ Your relationship with Jesus gives you direct access to God. This means that the same God who created the universe is the same God who wants to know you personally. And not only does He want to get to know you, but He wants you give you life abundantly; a better life than you’ve ever know. ⠀ ..I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. - John 10:10 ⠀ He wants to give you a life that isn’t guided by insecurity, doubt, fear, or shame, but a life that is guided by His Spirit, the Holy Spirit. Having a life that isn’t guided by Him, and not fear, anxiety, insecurity, or anything else is absolutely necessary for a healthy, intentional marriage. It doesn’t matter if you’ve never dated anyone before or you’ve been with the wrong kind of person in the past, it is absolutely vital that you work on whatever issues of insecurity, doubt, fear, pride, patience, temper, communicating, not being able to forgive, or anything else that could be a hindrance in a relationship. ⠀ This does not mean that you have to be without flaw before entering a relationship, but with Jesus at the center of who you are, making you better day by day, you now have the strength and courage to deal with these things when various issues arise. ⠀ It’s so easy to jump to conclusions and start to think that maybe there is no chance at ever finding love because the options seem so few, but when you remember who your God is, you will remember that He is not intimidated by the dating scene. Through Jesus He wants to do a work in you, and in your other brothers and sisters in Christ too. He wants to give the kind of joy, peace, patience, and confidence that isn’t just attractive to a potential mate, but makes the difference in every single person you encounter. ⠀ So keep on praying, worshipping, and serving the Lord. Fall more and more in love with Him everyday and let Him give you a much better life not just here on earth, but Eternally. ⠀ Written by @morganhnichols for #TheDevoCo