Konan @angelofamegakuree - Tumblr Blog

rest is for the faithless.

“If that’s how you choose to worship.”

From his spot on a chair, covered with far too many pillows; lounging like a lizard in the sun, Hidan moved to cross his arms behind his head.

His image was the epitome of relaxation. Not lazy but wholly intentional. If not over exaggerated just to make a point.

“Not sure what kind of God would want his most devout follower to work herself right into her grave.

Seems to me that if he really loved you, he would want you to enjoy life. To be healthy and happy. What kind of God needs slaves?”

Hidan and Konan did not see eye to eye on many things, but he respected her. Her mission to do good and make changes in a world that often pushed back against them was genuine.

He would never miss an opportunity to challenge her, however. A sort of verbal sparring they often indulged in when there was nothing else to do. He really couldn’t help himself and he hoped she didn’t take it personally.

angelofamegakuree

Konan's comment was meant more as a passing reminder of his sacrificial duties than a comparative judgement. And yet instantly she recognised the bait for one of their debates.

Taking a few steps back and a side eye through the door, she could only shake her head softly at the sight of him lounging in the livingroom.

"Ah but my devotion is not conditional to rewards."

Leaning against the door frame, she would wait for the counter arguement. Few people would dare to bring up the topic of belief around Konan. She was aware of their true thoughts regarding her choices and respected their choice of silence over insult if the choice was as simple as figure.

"It is my choice to serve by sacrificing my time. I could argue that time is the valuable thing I have to offer."

holy-havoc

He and Konan had more in common than either of them were able to realize. Time was all he had to offer Lord Jashin as well.

Equivalent exchange.

He had sacrificed his future to receive a gods blessing and she sacrificed her time to do a false gods work.

“Time is valuable.”

He couldn’t help but agree; his voice drifting off as his head lulled back to rest against the back of his seat; the subtle smile never fleeing from his face.

“But so are devout followers. Does he not recognize your value? Or would that be considered a reward?”

angelofamegakuree

She couldn't help but sweep her gaze across the floor of the room, scanning for dust, dirt or hair that may have gathered since yesterday.

"Is a penny to a king really worth the same as a beggar? You have all the time of the world to spare a few hours here or there will one day feel like seconds."

With a soft sigh, recognising she was already caught up in the web of debates. Konan decided to sweep the floor of the room, making herself useful as they tossed ideas back and forth.

"I dont need recognition or thanks, I choose to follow him. I feel it would be selfish to expect anything for something that is my own choice."

She would look to him, pausing her work for a moment. A small frown grew on her face as she contemplated her words. "Perhaps I'm mistaken, but from my perspective, what you have with Jashin seems so... transactional?"

holy-havoc

Hidan was not the type to beat around the bush about anything. Always giving truthful answers even when it was the furthest thing from what anyone wanted to hear. He wouldn’t sugarcoat his response or attempt to make things sound better than they were.

“Of course it is. Pretty much every relationship is.”

The facts as he knew them.

Arching his back, his hands gripped the arms rests of the chair so to use the furniture to sit himself up just a little straighter.

“You think if I stopped making sacrifices that Lord Jashin would continue to keep me from a final death?

Fat fucking chance.

People don’t leave offerings at altars because whatever god they pray to might be thirsty for some strong sake. They do it so they will be blessed and whatever shallow request they have will be granted.

You can’t get something for nothing. It’s the law of equivalent exchange.”

angelofamegakuree

"It's a good thing I have no need for blessings or shallow requests."

She would smile softly whilst walking around the chair he lounged on. Inspecting the floor for the smallest of crumbs and perhaps oblivious to anh shifts in his mood. Her mind was mostly focused on the task at hand. Their conversation was a second thought.

"In a world full of expectations and demands, I truly expect nothing." Looking to him again, she would raise her brow as he sat up a little, her words trailing ever so slightly as she paused to wait for a remark. "Why is that so hard to believe? Not everyone keeps scores. Perhaps that in itself balances the exchange?"

holy-havoc

Like a mother superficially indulging her child in mindless conversation if only to keep him occupied so he didn’t interrupt her chores, Konan flitted around the room. He paid little mind to her scrutiny. She wouldn’t find any crumbs where he was sitting.

Cleanliness was next to godliness. An organized space was the key to an organized mind. He wasn’t messy and disgusting like some of the others who didn’t seem to mind wallowing in their own filth like an animal.

“No needs.”

He pondered the thought for a very fleeting moment before continuing.

“You know it’s weird… but I think that’s why I was chosen. I came to him with no needs. No desires. No ambitions. They say fortune comes often to those who don’t seek it. Maybe it’s true.

It’s hard to believe because it goes against nature. The sun feeds the plants and the plants clean the air. They feed the little animals and those animals are eaten by the bigger animals.

Then they die and go back into the ground to nourish the plants and the whole cycle starts over again. It’s a big circle.”

Slowly he moved his index finger in the air, tracing the shape of a circle.

“You are a part of it whether you want to be or not. In the end.”

angelofamegakuree

She would smile listening to him speak his thoughts.

"I think you have me wrong, I dont mind being a part of nature's cycle, and I don't deny it. I simply don't have anything I would want or need from my God. Him being around is more than enough for me."

As she spoke, she would still once more, looking to the broom in her hands as she felt that heavy cloud shift over her shoulders once more. Perhaps that was her being selfish, to try and keep something close. How easily can something be smothered by love and devotion?

"I once heard want is the root of all evil... I believe it to be true. I have all I need, but that doesn't make my work done. As long as there are others in need, there's still plenty to do. Is that not also part of the circle? Doing our part for our communities?"

She would walk towards the window, opening it to allow a breeze into the room and air out the base after a long winter. Looking back towards him lounging like a king, she couldn't help but look for the next chore within the room.

"Hard work pushes the cycle forward. If one part fails or stops, it can have dire consequences on the others if nothing else picks up the load."

holy-havoc

Despite the fact he was rigid in his beliefs, bold with his opinions and nearly impossible to lead, he would always consider what someone else had to say. Human beings were complex creatures crafted from contractions and each one seemed to have their own perspective on just about everything.

He didn’t really believe in right and wrong. Every action had a reason. People never really acted without motive. The choices they made were what made them who they were.

“No.”

He shook his head. Oppositional but not argumentative. His tone of voice as casual as ever.

“Ego is the root of all evil. Everybody wants something. It’s when you start believing that you deserve it that there starts to be a problem.

The most dangerous creature in existence is a self righteous man. Or woman. It could be a woman too.”

He gave a casual shrug as his eyes followed her across the room. The fresh air was actually kind of nice and it seemed as though the sun was fighting to peek through the clouds for the first time in weeks.

“That sounds like love to me. Unconditional love. Are you in love with your God, Angel?”

angelofamegakuree

"Is there a difference?" Her words quiet as she glances at the silver linings in the clouds. "Between unconditional love and devotion? Can one truly exist without the other?"

A small exhale, as she thinks to herself. She would almost think he was insinuating she was self-righteous, yet the title of most dangerous creature wasn't something she felt she could wear. She was far from innocent, her hands dripped with more blood than she could bare but dangerous?

"What makes a God anyway? Actions? Power? Legacies? Perhaps it's the people who follow them?" Perhaps it was out of line to assume any follower held such power.

"I dont deny anyones belief, I simply choose to follow a different path, and I tend to that path the only way I know how."

Looking to the shelf of books, she would feel herself drawn in to rearrange them. Dust off the already polished covers with her sleeve whilst deciding how to group them.

"Why Jashin? What about his path made you follow him?"

holy-havoc

She was probably expecting a different answer than the one he was about to give her. Something prolific and honourable. He wasn’t like she was. He hadn’t been driven by a higher purpose or a need to do good. He never really wanted to change anything, even if he had so badly wanted them to change.

He wasn’t smart or talented. He didn’t have a life full of trauma that had set him on a straight path to revenge. He had just been a dumb kid; longing for something different than anything he had ever known.

“I joined the Jashinists for the same reason I joined the Akatsuki.”

He gave a casual shrug. There was no shame or embarrassment in his tone. It was what it was and he wouldn’t try to make it seem like anything else.

“I had nothing better to do. To be honest I didn’t even think he was real. I just wanted something different. Something wild. The world is all fucked up anyway. I couldn’t do anything about it.”

angelofamegakuree

Her fingers would stop, hovering over the books as she listened to him. Somewhat thankful her face was hidden, so the flash of disappointment that crossed it could be spared.

"So-" A pause as caught up with her thoughts, "So you leave for the better option when it arrives? Not necessarily the good option, but the more fun one?"

She would turn to look to him, trying to understand like a dog to a cat. "Hypothetically, if another God offered you a better deal, would you take it?"

holy-havoc

He didn’t really have to think about it.

He was painfully self aware. It wasn’t that he was incapable of loyalty and dedication. He had just never had anything to be loyal and dedicated to.

Nothing ever was truly the way it seemed. Life was rife with disappointment. People. Places. Organizations. Gods.

Perhaps he had simply gotten into the habit of leaving before he could be hurt or damaged by the truth?

Failing to follow through in the name of self preservation. Ironic for a man who regularly killed himself.

“Yeah. I probably would.”

A simple answer from a simple man.

“But I’m a piece of shit.

Gotta find fun where you can. At the very least.”

angelofamegakuree

She wasn't quite sure what to say as she stood looking down at the broom in her hand.

Perhaps if she had it within herself to leave when things went bad, she wouldn't be where she is now? The irony of becoming "a piece of shit" by staying. Seems as though a person is damned no matter they do.

"Do you ever feel..." Again carefully choosing her words, the topic growing a little closer to heart than she would show, "Regret for your choices?"

holy-havoc

It was a question he had been asked a hundred times over the years; though not always in regard to the same thing. His answer never really changed, despite how much his life had.

Regret was never something he succumbed to. An emotion of the weak minded. One that could keep a person trapped until they took their very last breath.

“Nah. Every choice we make seems like a good idea at the point when we make it. Otherwise we wouldn’t, right?

The thing about choices is that every shitty one can be followed by a better one. Or at least it should be followed by a better one. A being with free will has an infinite amount of them to make. After all.

I accept the possibility that I could be wrong. I also recognize that I have the power to make it right.

Life’s a gamble, Angel. Go all in.”

angelofamegakuree

She would listen, her gaze searching for other small tasks around the room but falling flat to find anything. At this point, every moment passed that she did nothing feels like she was stealing it.

"I'm not one for gambling. The risks never pay off. They get people hurt, they cause delays, and at best, a person might break even at the very end."

She admired his optimistic attitude, but it felt too youthful to sound wise. It's easy to promote that value when you have never experienced the loss or held responsibility.

"I'd rather work for what I have. Even if it takes years, I would prefer to perfect it over abandon it. Face the struggles head on. Someone has to."

holy-havoc

He couldn’t help himself.

The jab came before he could stop it. Meant to be playful and challenging as opposed to insulting.

Gambling was fun. An adrenaline rush of facing the unknown head on. The high that came from winning. The knowledge gained from losing.

“I guess you’ve never won before.”

He wears a smile as he gives a casual shrug.

“If you continue to water a dead plant, that’s just a waste of resources. Not sure anyone has to do that. But I do respect your dedication.

Nobody believes in anything anymore. It’s every man for himself.”

Suddenly realizing what he had said, he shrinks back into himself, pulling his head down against his shoulders.

“Or woman. I guess.”

angelofamegakuree

It was ironic how true that felt. Looking to him draped over the chair, she could counter that he seemed to have never lost. She dreads to imagine the betrayal he will feel when it finally catches him.

"If everyone gave up during a period of stuggle, nothing would get finished."

Offering a small smile at his statement, his self correction she would wave her hand to brush it off.

"I respect your honesty without unnecessary cruelty. Too many people mistake the latter for the former, although you have probably dealt with your fair share of them also."

Their common ground was perhaps being too faithful to something so deviant to the rest of the world. A shared understanding of the isolation that can come with that, even if those two faiths couldn't be more different.

holy-havoc

He took a moment to consider it; shifting in his seat so to sit himself up a little bit, as though the change in posture would help him think better.

On many levels, Hidan agreed with her. Only losers quit when things got too hard. Individuals without conviction. People who didn’t really believe in the words they preached.

There was no shame in agreeing with her. He couldn’t help but respect an opinion that mirrored his own, even if the entire picture was completely different than the one he had in mind.

So, he eventually nodded.

“Amen to that, sister.

And you’re right. People will always refute that which challenges what they know. It’s like seeing similarities in a different point of view is a weakness of character. But I think it’s the opposite.

Only someone who doesn’t truly believe in what they’re saying gets angry about being challenged.

If you know what you know, you don’t need anyone to agree with you. Your faith is more than enough.”

angelofamegakuree

As he sat forward she was almost worried she had crossed a line. Waiting for some kind of explosive rant, and feeling more in edge the longer she waited for it to drop. When he instead agreed there was a genuine smile that graced her face as he nodded.

"I think similarities is what people should be focused on, helps to branch all corners of the world.

And if nothing else, I like to think people learn something new every time they discuss something with someone with opposing views. It would be rather dull if everyone had the same views."

holy-havoc

“Damn right!”

Pulling up his face in an expression that could only be described as sour, he gave a shake of his head. Raw honesty once again on display.

“Imagine talking to yourself all the time? It would be kinda awesome at first. Always agreeing with yourself. Thinking you have the best ideas.

But eventually it would get old.

And annoying!

I’d probably want to punch myself in the face or kill myself to end the boredom.”

Getting up from his seat, he crossed the room and reached over her shoulder, so to push a book back into place that was somehow sticking out a little further than the others. She wouldn’t have been able to reach it on her own.

“It’s good to be challenged. To consider things outside of our own perspective. Ego is a sin and that’s how you get a massive one. When you only take council with yourself.”

angelofamegakuree

She would watch him carefully as he approached. Keeping her space as he moved the book into place, her eyes flickering from the shelf to his face.

"For some things, for some people, yourself is the only person you can fully trust."

Many things come to mind, many things she couldn't tell anyone else for many different reasons. There was a warning she wanted to offer him, about the attention he was drawing from people he might not even care to worry about. But she knew he wouldn't care either way. He would laugh it off or might even be insulted that she felt the need to tell him.

Clearing her throat as she looked around the room, there was nothing else that needed her attention. Everything was organised and wiped down. To linger any more would be wasting time even if she enjoyed their little back and forth.

"I'm aiming to get the base cleaned before sundown." An explanation as she stepped away towards the door, she had plans that very much depended on saved time.

holy-havoc

Konan wasn’t telling him anything he didn’t already know.

With every phase his short life had settled into, not being able to trust anyone but yourself was a fact that became more and more obvious.

The world was full of liars and fakes. People pretending to be one thing and being another. Hidden agendas and well crafted masks. Entire factions of people consisting of nothing but smoke and mirrors.

But that was another conversation, for another time.

“There are some people you can trust. People who stand for things other than themselves. They aren’t easy to find. Anymore. Maybe they never have been.

But they exist.”

Was he indirectly referring to her or was he talking about himself?

He changed the subject before she had time to question him.

“Why does it need to be clean by sundown? Expecting an important visitor?”

He laughed lightly at his own joke, before continuing.

“Do you need any help?”

angelofamegakuree

She was halfway out the door when his question seemed to echo off the walls a little too loudly for her ease.

Turning to face him him, her eyes wide at the realisation of her own slip up. A slip up ofcourse he innocently picked up on. All she could do was send a few sheets of paper to cover his mouth before he said anymore. Just to give her enough time to figure out what to do next.

She could feel time slow, her heart hammering in her chest as she glanced down the hall before stepping back inside the room and closing the door quietly.

"Shhh!" Her finger hovers over her own lips before she finally lets the paper fall off his. "He will hear you." Barely whispered as she thinks of ways to be honest without giving away details. She knew Hidan enough to know mystery would only peek his curiosity more, so keeping it dull might be the best way round it.

"I'm going after a bounty tonight. Its a small sum, but they are going to be close enough that I can get there, do what needs done, and get back before anyone will even be out their beds. Only if I get everything done here first."

holy-havoc

Unwittingly and completely unbeknownst to him, the rare moment of genuine helpfulness had caused him to accidentally stumble upon some sort of secret plot.

It was obvious in the way Konan responded. Silencing him with her jutsu before he could say anything.

It took every ounce of self restraint he had inside of him not to erupt in a hailstorm of inquiries as the paper gag was removed. The act of holding back made him fidget back and forth on his feet with the strain of it, like a child who really needed to go to the bathroom.

“Who will hear me? Oh wait. Shit. Who will hear me? Who’s him? Who cares if he hears?”

As he listened to her explanation, his head was already spinning into action. There were quite a few options.

The easiest one was to do nothing. To walk away and pretend as though he didn’t know anything. But that option was boring.

The second was to offer to take out the bounty for her. He had become quite seasoned as a bounty hunter since joining the Akatsuki. Well suited for the task.

The third option was to finish the cleaning for her so she could slip away earlier and cover for her in case anyone asked.

“Let me help. I can help. I’m a really good helper. Sometimes. And I’m soooo bored. Angel. Please? Pretty pretty please?”

angelofamegakuree

"Please!"

Using her hands to suggest her keeps the volume down, her eyes wide with worry as she looks from him to the door. As the questions flowed, even the whispered ones Konan couldn't help but cover her face. Internally cursing herself for being so careless to let it slip.

Glancing at Hidan between her finger and instantly squeezing her eyes shut as he seemed to vibrate with slivers of information she gave.

"I'm not getting you in trouble. Besides, you wouldn't make it in time. I need to fly to them..." She couldn't help but feel his own disappointment, chewing on her bottom lip.

She wasn't a good bounty hunter. In fact, she wasn't much of one at all. Her heart is already full of guilt that she feels backed into the corner to collect one today. She would tell herself the money was going to a good cause over and over, but even then, she wasn't fully sure if she could go through with it...

"You can't tell anybody."

Waiting his response, watching every flinch in his facial expressions before sighing. "If you help me clean, you can come with me, and I'll split the money 50/50."

holy-havoc

She was doing nothing to deter him with her choice of words and hushed secrecy. If anything it only made him more intrigued.

Trouble. Fly. Please.

How did she manage to utter so many of his favourite words?

Though he did drop his voice, he also allowed a smile to slowly creep across his face. Mischievous and knowing. He wanted to know the secret and he would not relent until Konan fed the hunger.

She must have known, for she gave in much quicker than most people would have.

“Who am I gonna tell?

I mean— who am I gonna tell?

I don’t even want the money. You can keep it. I just want to get out of this gloomy funeral home for a little while. I’ll do whatever you ask of me.

Give me a duster and a broom. I used to scrub the temple stairs with a toothbrush!”

angelofamegakuree

She couldnt help but look at him as though he had two heads.

"Pein, Deidara, Kisame..." She wondered if she had to whisper the entire Akatsuki. "No one can know, this can not get back to Pein." There was a sense of urgency as she dared to mention that last slither of information. He would expect the money to go to the grand cause but she had other ideas, other plans that needed just as much attention.

Looking between the broom in her hands and the mischievous look on Hidan's face she would reluctantly hold it out for him to take. Like making a deal with a demon.

"Okay, Help me clean. We will keep seperate ways for the rest of the day and once the sun has gone down meet me by the south gates around the back of the village. If your late I will go without you."

Taking a step back she would liger a look at Hidan, contemplating her choices and how good at secrets he might be before closing her eyes and leaving the room before she could regret it any further.

holy-havoc

Konan clearly didn’t know him very well. A fact that was a little unfortunate. She was one of three members that he actually believed to be genuine. Ironic, considering that she was in the midst of enacting some kind of secret plan.

Perhaps he could use the opportunity to show her that he too was honest and trustworthy. Fiercely loyal to the things he believed in. Even if the list wasn’t really that long.

He would put his whole ass into aiding in her efforts. Dusting places he knew she couldn’t reach and moving things that would have been far too heavy. When asked what he was doing he would happily chime that cleanliness was next to godliness and Lord Jashin appreciated hard work. Looked kindly on those humble enough to perform it.

He had just finished tidying all the books on the book shelf and placing them neatly on the shelf from largest to smallest when he noticed through a small window that the sky was beginning to darken.

He would leave his cloak behind as he went out to the muster point Konan had chosen. A secret mission was a secret mission and tonight he was nothing but Hidan.

angelofamegakuree

She kept a distance from him for the rest of the day. Head down and mouth shut as she did whatever job came across her.

She made sure to leave sooner than Hidan, her coat on as she walked away, but she would store it safely in the new building she was focused on, folded on top of the rotten desk for when she returns later.

Waiting outside the gate, her back to the wall as she watched the last rays of sun dip below the horizon, she couldn't decide if she hoped he wouldn't make it or not. She knew deep down she struggle to see this through alone, and yet the risks in more knowing? Sweeping one last glance for Hidan, fate sealed as she spotted him.

"How are you with heights?"

Despite the small smile on her face, her question was nothing but serious. Some sheets of paper flickered from her as many more flew towards them both from all angles to form something that resembled a narrow like boat.

"Because I wasn't kidding about flying there?"

#so sorry!!#puppy is chaos #work is chaos #took a minute finding any free time at all #😭😭#get in boat hidan #🤣🤣🤣

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