blogger

unhinged girl blogger 🏳️‍🌈18+.

[anglbby82]

i want to either hit people with a truck or get hit by the truck

[anglbby82]

[anglbby82]

honey you go lower, I'll start scheming like Amy Dunne don't start with me

[anglbby82]

been sobbing on the floor more and more

[anglbby82]

i would rather die than work in a cubicle

[anglbby82]

skipping my classes today cause i can’t have anyone see my face tehe

[anglbby82]

2 days since lost my vibrator, i’m planning a mass murder

[anglbby82]

me and my gfs on the way to the grocery store cause I cant do anything alone

[anglbby82]

when he texts “wyd” instead of confessing his undying love for you

we are so doomed oml how do people even date men are so fucking disgusting all i wanna do is tear out their intestines and shove their head into a meat grinder

[anglbby82]

my version of sh is going through your posts

[anglbby82]

just saw my roommate assignment and I can't believe for another year I've been burdened with the task of being both the hottest and most sane person in the room for 9 more months

[anglbby82]

don’t talk to me i’m coping with it’s the fact i’m not a celebrity yet

[anglbby82]

I don't care how funny the TikTok is, I will NOT like a males video

[anglbby82]

i need to be friends with someone who is just as batshit crazy as me, fuck logic and consequences. let me send that text!

[anglbby82]

[anglbby82]

rejection is my drug of choice

Since this is a blog I've decided to actual start doing it

In the last couple of weeks, I've been faced with my horrifying dating history and how disastrous my behavior becomes when a relationship with someone becomes a potential option. For the past several years I've continued to blame all my shortcomings on one singular factor and for this entry I shall name him “Mr. Unfulfilled”. He was emotionally unavailable and would ghost me for months at a time but would come rushing back and expect me to validate all his shitty behavior in his relationship. Because I was young and because I thought he liked me, I did. He would call me every 6 almost like clockwork and complain about his relationship seeking sympathy from me, and stupidly I obliged. Then he would say he still thinks of me and wonders if we could have made it, bringing up the idea of us getting married even though we have never dated. Then near the end of the several hour's call, I could tell reality would start to hit him and he would regret what he's said, and begin to insult me. I think he used me as an emotional escape or vacation. Somewhere he could go where things got too intense for him in his own life but would miss home only being there for a day. I saw him and his emotional problems as a project and maybe the spirit of the property brothers possessed me and all I could see was his “potential”. Maybe I read too many Watt-pad novels involving “moody” bad boys that have shitty behavior that seemed to be miraculously curled as soon as Y/N entered the picture. Maybe I thought I had the special something that Y/N had. Because all young girls just want to be “the exception”. The reason why bad boys quit their ways. I thought I could be a force of nature and change this man and make him mine. Selfish, 100 percent. Realistic? Absolutely not. Mr. Unfulfilled chew me up and spit me out like I was gum from the store around the corner. So now, unable to accept defeat, I still chase that rejection in every man I see. Why do I do this, truly I don't know, the internet says it's a form of self-hatred which I think I hide with performative narcissism. Sometimes I wonder if I can even move on from this, or made the pain of rejection some sort of fix that I just never seem to be able to let go of.

[anglbby82]

Rot Girl Summer