youre not supposed to be here

hi i’m anya (gonzocoded) and this is my secret sideblog. hello

[angrybirdsthemesong]

made therapy appointment with a therapist who specializes in helping people with eating disorders. we’ll see how it goes i guess

[angrybirdsthemesong]

i have way too many followers on my main blog i’m getting scared. it’s honestly not even that many but i’m still scared

[angrybirdsthemesong]

ok so i wanted to go for a hike but the timing didn’t work out and also i don’t think it’s necessarily the safest idea right now considerjng that ive been getting dizzy very easily lately.and for some reason i didn’t do the one thing i needed to do today which was to call therapists so i can actually start working this out

[angrybirdsthemesong]

playing a game called am i getting sick or is my body fatigued from not eating enough. and it is NOT a very fun game i must confess

[angrybirdsthemesong]

getting into a piece of media where one of the main characters has an unaddressed eating disorder that is constantly joked about by the fandom was maybe not my best move

[angrybirdsthemesong]

they should invent an eating that isn’t a goddamn nightmare

[angrybirdsthemesong]

um anyway.

[angrybirdsthemesong]

i’m a little bit nervous that my mom is going to ask me about the way i’ve been eating lately at dinner tomorrow. because i know i’m gonna eat weird in front of her because i can’t turn that off and she’s of course going to notice because she actively pays attention to me. and also she’s a professional psychologist.

[angrybirdsthemesong]

but fuckkkk i have dinner with my mom tomorrow

[angrybirdsthemesong]

unfortunately they did gross me out pretty bad now i don’t think i’m going to eat for a little while

[angrybirdsthemesong]

i made the fucking muffins

[angrybirdsthemesong]

ate too much and now i fear they are going to put me down

[angrybirdsthemesong]

if i bake a whole tray of blueberry muffins then maybe i will be forced to eat them. or perhaps they will make me feel so sick that i don’t eat for a couple days. i’m leaning towards the latter but right now i’m hungry and a blueberry muffin sounds really nic

[angrybirdsthemesong]

compare and contrast…..

[angrybirdsthemesong]

i hope none of the 7 people following this account are actually seeing these posts. if you are, you can feel free to unfollow, i won’t be offended or anything

[angrybirdsthemesong]

but actually why are you guys following this account at all?? did i share it at some point in the past….

[gonzocoded]

surely creating more largely arbitrary rules for myself to follow will only help the situation

[angrybirdsthemesong]

it is in fact not helping the situation. who would have guessed

[angrybirdsthemesong]

but like actually though is there really anything my doctor can do about it other than just telling me to go to therapy