you ever so infatuated with someone that a change in plans is literally crushing???

Janaina Medeiros

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if i look back, i am lost
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Stranger Things

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@anguishedyearner
you ever so infatuated with someone that a change in plans is literally crushing???
i no longer respect the hustle i want universal basic income and dignity for everyone
made of love & made to love
Having a crush on someone is nice until you start losing your mind.
i don't feel like a part of the family
i feel like a cog in the 100 million dollar machine
and i tell those im supposed to be "honest" with, i get tasked with the responsibility of olive branch-ing
when THEY are the ones who shut me out within the first 6 months of a hard fucking job
i struggled and they judged me, they blamed and threw nasty words behind my back
but it is MY responsibility to make amends
to make amends for LEARNING and TRYING MY BEST WITH THE INFORMATION I HAVE
i dont know, more and more i just feel like to need to run myself ragged for the next 18 months; doing this job, getting a free degree, and working 5 other jobs that appreciate me so much more.
i just need to keep my head down, be the "aggressive unhelpful black girl" in the office until i can get tf out of here
i am completely obsolete here. the work i do here is only important because no one else wants to do it. but they want their shit turned to diamonds. and that's my impossible job at risk of social murder if i dont manage to make it hapen.
i don't feel like a part of the family
i feel like a cog in the 100 million dollar machine
and i tell those im supposed to be "honest" with, i get tasked with the responsibility of olive branch-ing
when THEY are the ones who shut me out within the first 6 months of a hard fucking job
i struggled and they judged me, they blamed and threw nasty words behind my back
but it is MY responsibility to make amends
to make amends for LEARNING and TRYING MY BEST WITH THE INFORMATION I HAVE
i dont know, more and more i just feel like to need to run myself ragged for the next 18 months; doing this job, getting a free degree, and working 5 other jobs that appreciate me so much more.
i just need to keep my head down, be the "aggressive unhelpful black girl" in the office until i can get tf out of here
“For a very long time, the days went by, each one just like the day before, then I began to think, and everything changed.”
-Jacqueline Harpman, I Who Have Never Known Men (p4)
I want to be unforgettable, even in death.
im zen im literally so mindful and zen
Writing Resources to use instead of AI
For coming up with character names:
Behind the name (my absolute fav)
Allows you to choose the origin of where you want the name to be from, whether you want a more feminine vs masculine vs androgenous name (as voted by users), random surname generator, and clicking on the name gives you important info like if there are any famous people with the same name, where it’s from, how common it is, and how people tend to see it, etc.
You can also search their name database by letter or meaning or origin, so if you know you want a character who has a name/surname that starts with an A from Ireland, there’s a whole list for you to choose from.
Census sites
Especially useful if you’re looking for a name from a specific place and/or time period. Just search “(country) census (year)” and you’ll find a database of real people who lived in that place at that time. No one can ever call your names unrealistic again.
For coming up with place names:
Fantasy name generator
This site can basically come up with any name for any person, place, or thing you might ever need. There are also specific generators for different fandoms if you’re looking to make an OC in an established world.
For finding that one word on the tip of your tongue:
One Look Thesaurus
This is my go-to. Not only can you find synonyms like a regular thesaurus, but you can also describe words like “unhappy smile” or “quiet laugh” to find the more specific word you’re looking for.
For coming up with ideas:
Word cloud
When I need to inspire a new idea, I write down all the things I’m interested in (hauntings, academia, lesbians, etc.) and put them into a word cloud to shuffle them next to each other. Sometimes seeing a concept in a new context can spark new ideas!
WWF Discord
This is my discord channel (shameless plug) for when you need to brainstorm off other people but don’t have anyone irl to talk to. We’re also happy to read and give feedback on writing, answer writing questions, or just chat!
For visualizing places and characters:
Pinterest can at times be a bit too sterile for my tastes, but if you use the right words, you can find more realistic photos of places. For example, adding “aesthetic” after basically any word will bring up a more broad collection of photos to help you flesh out places.
This is also a great way to find photos of people and fashion to help visualize characters. I’m bad at describing clothes, so I usually collect photos of outfits to help me know what my characters are wearing. Searching up “character inspiration” will collect more interesting photos and drawings of people who might not exactly be of our world.
(However, to make Pinterest not show you AI results, you have to go into your settings and check the “reduce AI” box. Luckily, it does mostly work.)
Death to Stock
Like pinterest but completely AI free (hooray!) Only drawback is that you have to pay a monthly subscription (about $20 CAD).
Cosmos
Very similar to pinterest but slightly more "artsy". I'm not super familiar with this one but I believe all the photos are human and you can save them and create collections with a free account.
Dupe Photos
Royalty-free stock image site with very Pinterest-core photos!
Minecraft
If you haven’t built your entire fictional city in Minecraft instead of writing, why not? It’s fun.
The Sims
This one is dual purpose because you can not only create your characters in Create a Sim, but you can design their houses. If you really want to go for it, you can bulldoze all the lots in your town and build your world from scratch.
For checking grammar:
Grammar Girl
Easy to follow definitions and examples, and if you learn better by listening, every article comes with a podcast to follow along with instead.
Grammar Monster
This one is my favourite for checking grammar rules because there’s tons of examples in graphics that helps for any situation.
Reedsy
Among other things, reedsy can connect you to professional editors within your budget.
For writing advice:
One Stop for Writers
This one was recommended from my discord channel and has all sorts of tutorials and resources for the writing craft.
My Blog Directory
Another shameless plug, but if you need writing advice on something specific, you can search through my directory to see if it’s there. If it isn’t, you can always send me an ask about it!
For an alternative to Google Docs:
Ellipsus
Think google docs but without AI. Yay!
(will update this list with any more suggestions or resources I discover 😊)
A great resource
At the having a headache awards
as are you ⭒
i love reading, i love thinking about what i am currently reading, i love thinking about what i am going to read next, i love being privileged enough to be able to read, read, read, and read so much that i never tire of it
let’s get this paycheck let’s get this paycheck let’s get this paycheck let’s get this paycheck
reverse gaslighting where i pretend to know exactly what you are talking about