@anguishedyouth - Tumblr Blog

A list of things im thankful for.

Finally getting rid of my first car. Seems like it should be bitter sweet, but it was the last thing I had pinning me to my family. Who used it every chance they had to guilt me. Its gone. I have a new car. Finally. And its mine. Its my credit. It's my payment, and maintenance is covered for the first 3 years. The level of relief is incredible.

My first dog is 16 and a half years old. Shes still spunky. Albeit sleeping alot, but she's a happy old dog. My soul cat is still feisty and pushy and healthy. Having 4 animals over 10 is alot. But I feel so incredibly lucky they are as healthy as they are. And they all get along, like a perfect family of misfits.

Achieving my degrees purpose. I got a job in my field and leveled up from a junior in 1.5 years. Now im just trying to feel secure. That might take longer.

My mom is getting better. Mildly, i dont think she will ever get to where she was, but better and she's here. The last 5 years have been so dark. So incredibly dark. I think I finally see the way out. See a tiny glimmer of light.

Ive spent the last decade trying to learn boundaries and how to put myself first. Im still mediocre at it, but im seeing the signs so much faster, and getting out before it becomes completely life shattering.

I'm still far to independent for most people. But im trying to learn to ask for help. Its just so hard to weigh on others when you know what it feels like to an extreme you shouldn't.

I still never thought i would make it past 18. But im still here. I dont really have those big life plans in my head, I dont think I need to achieve anything by a specific time line. But a farm out in the middle of no where seems like a pretty good goal. Even if it takes another 20 years.

#Spotify

Things have been so fucking hard the last 4 years. And it's just not getting better any time soon.

#nevee thought id get the the other side of taking care of my mom for 3 years #but here i am #and now its time to be a real person again #Spotify

Tweaking your back in the last 2 weeks of dog grooming has got to be the icing on the cake of why I no longer want to do this job.

I feel like I'm drowning

#i dropped a vacuum on my foot #hello 2022 #Spotify

The amount of people who expect me to continue dog grooming after I finish my degree are why I won't

What I've learned in every computer science class ever: Google is the answer

Life is a little too much right now

It has been for a while

I need a fucking vacation

wolf-eagle

“I am aware, sure, I am aware. Catastrophically aware.”

— Sylvia Plath, from “The Unabridged Journals Of Sylvia Plath” (via metrosouthern)

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