It's wild to me, really, absolutelly wild, to think that a girl who is described as wolf coded, and Arya coded was convinced by Rhaegar's melancholic messianic complex. We know she's got:
a rather rigid moral code to refuse to marry Robert-the-man-who-will-be-unfaithful-to-her,
but apparentlyyyyy she was okay with being the other girl in RhaegarxElia marriage.
She's also somewhat vengeful like Arya, when she dropped wine in Benjen when he mocked her when Lyanna teared up listening to Rhaegar.
Which means in theory she's not "dreamy" like Sansa.... but somehow she was swayed by Rhaegar's teary eyes.
Also, in TWOW Arya's sample chapter there's a scene where Arya works as actress and she says she's preparing herself for the SA of her character or smth. After her death Lyanna has become basically a character in all the minds of those who remembered her, she's lost her agency and voice, her story told by the mouths of others like characters in a theater. If Lyanna is said to be Arya coded, thennnnn I take it as a hint that yep, Lyanna didn't go willingly with Rhaegar, she was forced to, BUT it raises more questions than answers (option 2 below)
And I'm not saying that to shit on Lyanna or whatever. I can't remember what happened after the harrenhal tourney.
option 1: she's somehow fooled by Rhaegar and goes willingly, despite knowing very well that he's married, and probably that Elia's health isn't 100%. She knew the burden the guy was inflicting on Elia with those pregnancies. Not to mention all the "no cheating husband for me, but why not colaborate to the ruin of that marriage over there?" But it contradicts the "arya coded" description, because Arya has her own sense of honor and justice, and I struggle to imagine what could Lyanna think in order to justify destroying an innocent woman's life and her kids.
option 2: she isn't fooled by Rhaegar and goes with him by force... but between the tourney and all the 'escape to Dorne' there's a time gap, right? She wasn't kidnapped right away, someone had to spirit her away and no one in the north or the riverlands saw anything? Really? No one noticed this very uncommon random white-haired guy walking around with a teenage girl by his side (and who most likely would try to flee in ALL THE WAYS possible!) all the way down to Dorne in a moment the Prince is missing? In a moment of war when there's soldiers all around and nowhere is safe?
Not to mention, Lyanna doesn't strike us like the 'damsel in distress' type of character waiting to be kidnapped by Rhaegar, she would express her agency by going after him, easily fooling everyone who was left watching over her because really, I highly doubt Robert wouldn't have asked Ned to keep extra eyes on her, everyone knew Rhaegar was at least planning something, especially those aware of the whispers regarding Elia's health. Then he disappears, then some time later Lyanna also disappears...
It portrays Lyanna as egoist, naive, homewrecker, and maybe even a bit dumb for believing in valyrian prophecies (certain people *cough* C&H *cough* would be seething at the prospect of a female character portrayed with so many flaws LMAOOO). Unless... she was obsessed with the "winter is coming" thing and Rhaegar used it on his behalf to convince her, which is even worse, the guy didn't care manipulating a teenager to get what he wanted like... yk, cult leaders. Oh well, I won't even elaborate that I shouldn't expect less from someone with ancestors like his.
Lyanna, girl, it's such a shame I'll never get to know the truth about you.