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... the opening credits, shown against life on Earth, on Kauai.
This fish with the sandwich will be important in a little bit.
There she is. Lilo Pelekai. The second titular protagonist.
No lie, the transitions from Jumba’s question to the opening song gives me chills every time. I love it.
“So...”
“... tell me, my little one-eyed one...”
“On what poor, pitiful...”
“... deFENSEless planet...”
“... has my monstrosity been unleashed?”
Mmmm. Chills every time.
And that transitions us into...
What is this feeling, so sudden and new?
I felt the moment I laid eyes on you.
My pulse is rushing.
My head is reeling.
My face is flushing.
What is this feeling?
“If both of you are quite done. You have a plasma cannon and a bargain for Experiment 626′s capture. I will leave you two to settle matters on your own.”
“H-Haha! What do you mean by that, Your Highness--?”
[door woosh!]
“Wait, no! What did you mean?” “...?”
Whatever I was gonna say about this paper initially can wait, I’m losing my shit at the rest of it.
FLEEMZORG WEEKLY GAZETTE
25 GORPHIKS
STITCH’S FACE, MORE SPECIFICALLY HIS EYES
Jumba looking like Gonzo just took his picture in The Great Muppet Caper
And we’re at prison now.
Pleakley’s visibly nervous, still trying to guess if 626 has a “Friendly... cousin?”
... We’ll get there when we get th-- Is that Hamsterviel?
Plans that are shot down: Destroying the island. Gassing the planet. Military invasion.
It’s clear that the only option that won’t cause “mass mayhem and planetwide panic” would be a quiet capture of 626. But that would require insider knowledge about 626.
“Who then, Mister Pleakley, would you send for his extraction?”
“...”
“Does he have a brother?”
(Pleakley, still asking) “Close grandmother, perhaps?”
The Earth Expert, everyone. We’re in good hands.
Okay, I have to talk about Pleakley real quick before we go on.
First, look at him.
That’s a Muppet-like individual. I’m pretty sure in a design sheet, there’s a note that says something along the lines of “his mouth is a Muppet mouth”.
Second, he’s a conservationist.
Doing his best to rebuild the mosquito population and preserve the mosquito’s food of choice: primitive humanoid lifeforms. Bless him.
Third, that View-Master?
Wonderful. I love it. I also love that they actually made Lilo and Stitch reels for the View-Master in real life. I still have mine.
I love Pleakley. Kevin McDonald did a great job voicing him. Definitely one of my favorite animated characters in cinema. The list goes “every single character in Lilo and Stitch”, then... uh...
Okay, so I don’t have a list. I’ll just move on before I say anything else.
... okay, just one more thing.
Look at how happy he is to be infodumping about his special interests.
With very little time until 626 lands on the planet, they need a plan.
Plan one: gas the planet–
– doesn’t get off the ground at all, thanks to the arrival of the Earth Expert…
Agent Wendy Pleakley, ladies and gentlemen and all other gender identities! Give it up!
This just in: One alien is every gender! More at 11!
With very little time until 626 lands on the planet, they need a plan.
Plan one: gas the planet--
-- doesn’t get off the ground at all, thanks to the arrival of the Earth Expert...
Agent Wendy Pleakley, ladies and gentlemen and all other gender identities! Give it up!
So... landing in water wouldn’t be good for 626. In layman’s terms, he’d sink like a rock. So it wouldn’t be good for him to crash into this planet... right?
How unfortunate. :3
As the Grand Councilwoman requests an expert on the planet, we also learn an interesting feature about Ee-Arth.
“What is that?”
“Water. Most of the planet is covered in it.”
Thank you, Officer Tigger.
626 is still in hyperspace, but we do get a calculation on his exit location.
“Quadrant 17, Section 0-0-5, Area 51. A planet called “Ee-Arth”.”
Thank you, Ensign Piglet.
The Grand Councilwoman is fucking pissed. And everyone here just has to deal with it.
This is not Captain Gantu’s day.
This little maniac gets his cruiser damaged in the ensuing police chase...
... engages his hyperdrive...
... and just completely wrecks shop.
I think it’s good that he escaped!
So 626 makes his great escape, burping on the new recruits with chili dog breath in the process.
Wait, that was Stitch’s Great Escape. (Man, I’m still bummed about what happened to that giant Stitch animatronic...)
So 626 makes his great escape, using his super-strength to help get past the doors sealing the deck, escaping guards by going in the ventilation system, messing up the power grid, and stealing a police cruiser.
Yeah... he took the red one. The faster one. Reportedly, 626 stole it because it looked cooler.
I mean, he’s right.
See, this is usually why I have lunch delivered to me at the office.
Anyway.
Jumba wasn’t lying. That 626 really can think faster than supercomputer.
Since the guns are locked onto his genetic signature, that means they’ll only fire at anything related to 626.
And I do mean,
anything.
... oh, that guy’s fine, y’all! He got out of the way of the gunfire.
Can’t say the same thing about the door.