[animetiddies420athotmaildotcom]

Ah anxiety. I haven’t felt this in a while.

I didn’t miss this at all.

Get a grip.

[animetiddies420athotmaildotcom]

Here’s a very specific meme

[animetiddies420athotmaildotcom]

I pretty much just use this account to emotionally dump things I don’t want to put on Facebook, so you can unfollow if ya want

[animetiddies420athotmaildotcom]

I keep on saying “I’m quitting punk” when something goes wrong in the scene but this morning I realized that, in light of a bunch of weird interactions in the past few years, maybe punk quit me.

[animetiddies420athotmaildotcom]

I know it really shouldn’t bother me like it does, but I can’t help but feel really hurt at the fact that Iri got a pass from the punk community after they cheated and manipulated me and it wasn’t until they did literally they same shit 2 years later that people exiled them.

Really made me feel shitty.

Really made me feel like my experience wasn’t valued.

Really made me feel like no one cared.

A lot of the people who did it are good friends of mine so idk how to bring it out without sounding aggressive. I’ve thought about calling out the community but I don’t want to cause more trouble

[animetiddies420athotmaildotcom]

I think it’s COMPLETELY WACK that the partner that cheated on me in a poly relationship repeatedly shares articles about how cheating in poly is bad or how people need to stop misusing poly relationships as a way to manipulate people and I’m literally fucking blown away at how shitty that is.

And then my friends share them from that partner and it bums me out because a lot of people’s source for poly advice comes from someone that doesn’t take their own poly relationship advice.

[animetiddies420athotmaildotcom]

The did the same shit to the partner after me, too

People are going to disappoint you

[animetiddies420athotmaildotcom]

My dad decided to back to AA and I’m so so so happy. I’m sad he’s not in Florida but he is doing so great in NH and progressing so much.

[animetiddies420athotmaildotcom]

I think it’s COMPLETELY WACK that the partner that cheated on me in a poly relationship repeatedly shares articles about how cheating in poly is bad or how people need to stop misusing poly relationships as a way to manipulate people and I’m literally fucking blown away at how shitty that is.

And then my friends share them from that partner and it bums me out because a lot of people’s source for poly advice comes from someone that doesn’t take their own poly relationship advice.

[animetiddies420athotmaildotcom]

Can you hear me?

Are you near me?

I miss you and love you. Thank you for everything.

[animetiddies420athotmaildotcom]

Instead of feeling sad about Gram’s death anniversary, I simply feel anger towards my mother for what she said to me.

I hope that with time I can move past this resentment, but as of right now I don’t know if I’ll ever forget the betrayal I’m feeling right now

[animetiddies420athotmaildotcom]

yesterday I made a long post about the anniversary of the death of my grandmother and the difficult changes I’ve encountered this year. I said that I know I have people supporting me, but I felt alone. I expressed that I have made progress, but I still am trying to make sense of what happened. Today my mom told me that I need to move on and that I need to focus on the positive. I feel more alone now than ever.

[animetiddies420athotmaildotcom]

My teeth hurt and I’m sad and I don’t care about anything right now

[animetiddies420athotmaildotcom]

This again?

Me most mornings

[animetiddies420athotmaildotcom]

New name same me

[animetiddies420athotmaildotcom]

Feelin weird

[animetiddies420athotmaildotcom]

People have this idea that OCD is people who was their hands a lot because they don’t want to have germs on them or people who need to have things in an orderly manner, but for a lot of people (myself) OCD manifests itself in different ways.

Imagine you’re just minding your own business and someone is following you around with a tv that’s playing images of death, animal abuse, and blasphemy 24/7 when you’re trying to talk to someone, have sex, or perform in a church. The only way you’ve managed to shake these things is by either vocalizing the fact that their irrational or by a small head shake.

The head shake works for a bit, but the thoughts get worse over the months and you find yourself shaking your head multiple times a day and you worry that people are starting to notice this nervous tick, so you try to do it as fast as you can or you do it in a manner that you think no one is watching. The anxiety of that makes you feel self conscious about it and the thoughts get worse, and the head twitching/vocal reassurance gets worse.

Tldr ocd is no fun, man.

[animetiddies420athotmaildotcom]

also I’m been running and keeping up with that but I’m still bing eating so I’m literally running in place instead of running towards success