if i look back, i am lost
JBB: An Artblog!
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@lustraveil
•• tiff ( she / her ) [PRIVATE] . MULTIMUSE . CHARACTER & STORY DRIVEN . 𝚏𝚎𝚊𝚝𝚞𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚖𝚞𝚜𝚎𝚜 𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚖 : cowboy bebop. jjk. spy x family . hunter x hunter . legend of korra. lupin iii . psycho pass., & more.
links: ( carrd. ) muse list , memes mobile muse list under the cut ; 21 + only.
he can hear the change of Satoru's tone, which instantly brings his steps to a slow. it's how he says it. knowing someone as well as he knew Satoru, he hadn't expected this. Needless to say, it catches him off guard. The defensiveness in his tone. and then before he can even get his bearings, more spills out. about parents, being thrown away, things that were heavier , despite the seemingly casual manner in the way he says it.
Suguru's gaze shifts to eye him fully, zeroing in on the small things. the unevenness of his voice, trying to regain momentum with hokes and.. something about cheese sticks. but he knows better than to merely accept it. especially when he won't meet his eyes, nearly slipping in his shoes. watching with a pang in his chest, slowing in his pace even more now.
his hand slips out of his coat pocket, hesitant to reach for a moment, but doesn't. briefly keeping his distance until he resigns with that 'If I'm so boring though, you can head back to the dorms.' he exhales, now reaching out to him. "Hey," his tone quieter, softer, hand hesitating for a mere second before fingers make contact. no resistance, infinity dropped for him again. that familiar current passing between them, but with warmth. he lets his hand rest gently on Satoru's shoulder, "I was only playing." the way he says it, apologetic even, and far from teasing. "I didn't mean to..." he trails off, watching him.
"you're not boring, Satoru." he pauses before taking a step closer, fingers gently squeezing in place, "Honestly, I don't think.. a dull moment around you is even remotely possible." a smile tugging at his lips now, remaining sincere in tone as he looks him in the eyes. To which.. his best friend's expression betrays him. "I hate to be the one to break that to you."
he sees him blushing, even under the bright, fluorescent city lights. to which, he can only respond in kind with his thumb lightly grazing over his shoulder. a quiet reassurance, mutually comforting to not only Satoru, but also to himself. and in that moment, the idea of their remaining accommodations are booked for the night. the shared room, one bed. a convenience they'd done without thinking prior, and now? now he's thinking about it. he looks back to him, his tone still soft and gentle as the city's night life buzzes and continues around them. "are we..." he catches his gaze, "okay?"
He doesn't mean to spill everything out in a torrent of admissions; it seems like his tongue is intent on betraying him, of making him even smaller and more pathetic in the eyes of the boy he wants nothing more than to impress. It's hard to find his dignity, his cheeks tinting red and bratty tone easily coming out; he feels more like the Satoru that Suguru had met when he first joined the school, not the Satoru that he's turned out to be. It's hard to think about it sometimes –– the fact that one person has changed him so much, had made him feel so much. That alone is something that twists his stomach into knots; the thought of being boring, of not being enough for him, it makes him feel sick.
Satoru has always been regarded as the chosen one and the strongest, but he's never existed as just himself. Is being that enough for someone like Suguru?
A hand settles on his shoulder, stilling his movements, and for a moment his mind quiets. There's a soft undercurrent, the meshing of their cursed energy; he doesn't feel it often because he doesn't let infinity down, but for Suguru it's almost intoxicating. It's like how his curses have a habit of obeying him when they fight together; like there's something in the world that is biting down around them, pulling them together and letting the universe give them their own gravity. It's horrifying and alluring, and it's not the first time that Satoru considers running away with the other. It's not the first time that Satoru's wanted to protect him from the knives that will dig in when their missions grow more perilous.
The rhythmic stroking of his skin and the softness in Suguru's voice is something that will always do him in. A soft flush lights his cheeks, backlit by the city lights that filter in around them. All he wants is to run away again –– but this time, he wants to bring Suguru with him. They are two of the strongest sorcerers the school has seen in a long time, surely they wouldn't follow them. He has enough money to keep them going for a good while, until the Gojo clan disowns him and cuts his accounts off. He thinks it'd be okay though –– that it'd be fine to give up money and status in order to actually be happy.
There's a quiet chide inside his head. He shouldn't be thinking about these things, even if it feels warm with Suguru just telling him he's not boring. Fuck, he has it bad.
"Please, I can be plenty boring." He reaches up, gently plucking the hand on his shoulder off of it, even though he wants nothing more than for it to stay. Instead, he keeps it between them, fingers circled around his lithe wrist, swallowing hard as he feels that same soft undercurrent of their energies brushing together. He doesn't think that sorcery can be romantic, but maybe it can be if this is how it feels. "You're only saying that because I'm offering to buy a nice meal."
The light blinks once, twice –– a final warning that if they don't get going now, they'll be stuck on this side for another amount of time as the traffic lights threaten to turn. He secures his hand on his wrist and begins dragging him along the crosswalk, blending in with the others that jostle them; his hand is the only thing that keeps them connected. He won't let him get lost –– and his fingers secure a little tighter to emphasize that. Once they're on the other side, he realizes that he's still holding him, even though the traffic has dissipated. He finds he doesn't want to let go.
"We're fine, by the way. Sorry –– just a lot of stuff in the brain lately." The more time he spends away from his clan, the more he realizes how much he hated it, how much he hated the fact that he had been raised by absolute strangers instead of his family. How much he hates that they were so willing to let him go because of the cursed energy he held within and the technique that was promised. It makes his chest squeeze once more and he swallows hard. "Sorry for unloading it on you. You didn't need to deal with that."
@lustraveil im bypassing the inbox prompts and going straight to violence
Suguru Geto, Special Grade; his rumoured technique was one hell of an OP ability if true. His cursed energy was unrefined but stood out so starkly in a sea of mediocre sorcerers and Satoru couldn't help but feel excitement at the raw potential before him. But something felt wrong with him. From the first words out of his mouth, it was clear that this was some normie who understood nothing about what it meant to be a sorcerer; what it meant to have power, what it meant to wield violence, and of what little consequence all else is.
He wanted to teach this guy a lesson. He wanted to see what this Suguru is really made of. He needed this boy to understand the position that they were in. ( suguru could maybe one day be an equal, if he does not give in to whatever soft ass shit his non-sorcerer parents must have coddled him with. )
"Oh shut up, why are you even bothering with her?" Satoru shoved the girl in their class aside, interrupting the two's casual introductions. He did not pull the force of his strike, and did not even bother to look as she crashed into a nearby table ( and he did not hear her grunt of pain and indignant protest ) and he reached to grab at the front of Suguru's uniform instead.
"She's weak, can't you tell? You can't waste your time with trash like that unless you're also weak."
It's still just shy of half the first day. The three of them are getting used to each other, having already gone on summits and even the promise of an overnighter coming next weekend. He and Shoko were just talking, nothing serious, when suddenly ... a callous shove, and a hard one too. Suguru barely had a moment to process before being grabbed by the collar, and yanked forward. The arrogance practically dripping off this one. Gojo Satoru. he can't be serious. Suguru's eyes narrowing, body still. "Trash is a pretty subjective matter," throwing others, especially their peers across a room as if he's above the consequence in Suguru's eyes is deemed as actual garbage behavior and mindset.
and then, without any further hesitation, his body flares in the contrast of the blazing fire from the other, opposing with a rather cold efficiency of a shadow appearing from behind him. A stored curse, specifically a semi-grade 1. A centipede with exoskeleton scales like a reptile lingering up from the wooden floor. It's long body emerges angrily, violently charging at his peer. A massive body coiling around Satoru quickly, and tight until the constriction practically lifts Gojo off the ground. His focus is laser sharp, directing the curse with his mental acuity – Satoru's armed are pinned awkwardly as the centipede continues to further wrap around his torso. It wasn't much, but it's certainly enough to throw the other off.
Suguru inches forward, close enough for his presence to impede on the other's space, "You might be strong," with just a signal of his fingers, the curse slowly loosens it's entrapment of the coil. Like a warning, but only enough so that he could signal the curse to attack again if provoked. If he chose to. "but don't mistake your power for worth. Not with me." the centipedes legs gently nudging at Gojo's cheek as it's own gentle reminder.
// @limitlesscursed
A quick Suguru 🫶🏻 This art slump hit HARD
@limitcurse // wolfwood & shoko continued from our discord shenanigans
They've reached the clearing of the wasteland, the spot designated for just the two of them. Markered by the few battered targets set up just for her. With that, Wolfwood drops the case at his feet, the thud following after her comments. He crouches down to unlock it, smirking at her words – 'Apparently my skeleton is a man that keeps walking off. I should do something about that. Sometime.'
"Would said skeleton be the present party?" he drawls, ie, himself. Finally, he glances up, a grin on his lips as he cocks the chamber of the gun with a finesse of a snap, " Because if so, I gotta say... I make a damn fine skeleton." The gun hanging from a finger now, "Still got all my bones, and they're in pretty good shape if I say so myself.." finally, he offers the gun now, grip first, just to see if she'll bite and take it right then and there.
( well , vash counts himself lucky that at least he gets the courtesy of consideration for the smoke . smoke , as it turns out , doesn't filter well with him . ) the two fingers on his chin does nothing but ignite that foolish , absolutely painfully foolhardy grin that curls in a cat - like twist , like he's getting what he wanted even empty handed , like he's been running circles around nicholas for an hour . pale eyes still lock , behind UV protection sunglasses , glinting in the light as a testament to god they hadn't already broken and taken an eye out . the fact he holds space in the punisher's brain is victory enough . ❝ . . . i don't get it , why can't i use it ? you call me nicknames all the time . & i guess i could be a cactus , stubborn little things blooming the prettiest flowers , huh ? makes me a star attraction in these parts ~ ♡ ❞
Wolfwood can't help the laughs that follow, the cigarette still magically balanced between his lips as his shoulders offer none other than a small shake. The sound of his laugh comes out low as he tips Vash's chin down, giving it a small little shake, as if he can't believe what he's hearing. "You gotta earn those things, Needle Noggin." muttering as if he hadn't self-declared his own earning of giving out nicknames. Arrogance will do that. Of course, he's making all this up on the spot, carrying it as if it's gospel, and not gorilla shit. Which, it is.
As much as he'd been a practiced guy of restraint when needed, Vash's cactus commentary gives him a run for his money. A smirk breaking into a smile. One flashing vulnerability, unguarded. Nicholas angles his head slightly, sunglasses catching the rays of ligt, "You got points for that one.." a fondness in his tone, "But, just oneee little tip, genius." reaching for his cigarette, the other hand still gripping Vash's chin, " – 'cool' guys don't call themselves that." the star attraction, if you will.
// @limitcurse
@limitcurse // wolfwood & knives
the room is cold, an unnatural chill in the room. across from him is Knives, who stands eerily like marble. giving him a lengthy talking to. a speech he hadn't asked for – something something about sermons from a preacher, and something something about having no soul. with that, Wolfwood snorts with a cigarette bobbed between two lips as he exhales a small plume of smoke. an easy out to mask and cover the piercing stare of the twin brother he loathed.
“Yeah. you keep tellin’ yourself that.” there’s a hint of bitter amusement, “Funny thing about people with no souls..” he pulls the cigarette from between his lips, “they sure talk a lot about it.” oh he’s definitely playing with fire challenging the guy.
they gonna give you a smirk (scaring the living the shit out of me, they said)
(ib)
@limitcurse
❝ really? i wouldn't have guessed that about you. ❞ (wolfwood @ shoko)
❝ you're not funny , nic . ❞ ieiri's initial reaction to the coy comment is a dry comment in return , short hair blowing in the wind idly as she cups her hand around the lighter to protect it from the drifting winds . when she's finished with the metallic trinket , she hands it back off to wolfwood , tucked casually between forefinger and middle finger as she takes observant note of the sigil decorating the cover . eye of michael , or something ridiculous . the reason he drags that clearly - overcompensating - cross across this whole damn planet . she's bandaged up the man in the catholic dress up outfit more times than she can count , and he knows she won't call the police for him being within two hundred yards of her , call it a notion of faith . or trust . or really , whatever have you . maybe it was just another slip of the hand , another moment of dumb luck . ❝ hate the new look . you'll catch heat stroke in that getup within the mile , guaranteed . ❞ she bets him out of medical knowledge and awareness of the surrounding environment more so than malicious intent . taking a drag from the cigarette , she breathes it in & let it fill her lungs before she smoothly releases the smoke between her lips , a narrow opening that expels disgust and something worse than sand . ❝ how're the kids ? ❞
He leaned back on both arms, a single boot kicking out over the other leg as she seems to tear into his new apparel. "Oh, so you're sayin you loved the old one?" he drawls, cigarette hanging from the corner of his lips, a grin curving lazily, "Cause that's what i'm pickin up here..." he watches as she exhales a plume of smoke before adding, "Don't you worry, Doc... next time i'll break out all the bullet holes and blood stains – just for you."
the tone shifts when she asks about the kids at the orphanage. there's proverbial shift ; one that settles behind his eyes .. a softer, and quieter calm that lasts no more than a beat of time. With that, wolfwood smiles to himself before pulling the cigarette from his lips, passing it back to her.
"They're askin for you." he says, sincere in his tone. Not as much as he makes it sound. Maybe only one or twice, but still. Just the convenient kind of lie you tell when you wanted a certain someone to show up. "Said you don't come around anymore..." with that, he keeps the teasing from entertain too serious of a tone, "Even drew a picture of you, one of em'." he raises a brow, "Looked nothin like you, though. Too smiley..." his head tilts as he weighs back against one palm behind him, "Guess they remember you different..."
// @limitcurse
@limitcurse
@limitcurse // wolfwood & vash
a brow arched even above his shades, a cigarette pulled out from his lips, between his fingers. The trouble is, Vash seemed to be pushing on nicknames. Or rather, nicknames they're allowed. With that, he exhales, courteously off to the side before reaching forwards. Two fingers hook under Vash's chin, tilting his face up just enough to force those big bright eyes to meet his. Even behind shades. "All this just so you can call me by a nickname?" a faint smirk on the edge of his lips, "Romantic as a lone cactus in the desert, you are."
She has looped her arms around Wolfwood’s neck from behind, of course looking for a wallet—- but there was something more, something unspoken that she didn’t dare speak into existence. She’d missed him. “Disappear on me again,” she whispered into his ear, “and I’ll have to hunt you down.” Her voice was soft, only for him to hear, laced with the edge of a threat—- a threat that was somehow poisoned by affection. “You bastard.”
He'd appeared by surprise at the doorway, as always, merely watching her seconds before she noticed him. Right up until the point of her trying to refrain from showing she was glad to see him. His features soften, matching the way hers do from that moment to the point her arms loop around his neck. A whisper meant as a warning, Wolfwood lets her hold him, basks in the closeness himself.
At first, he laughs lowly, leaning into her, a palm slowly trailing up her spine, "Is that a threat I hear?" he asks coyly, "Makes me think I oughta feel complimented you'd go to all that trouble," his head gently leaning closer to her ear, "and, if it's any consolation... you're not the only one who's been out here missin' someone..."
an honest display of affection. The closest he'd get to baring his feelings. With that, Wolfwood taps the side of his jacket pocket, smiling a tad at the real wallet's actual location. "Wallet's safe, by the way."
// @cathiief
IT’S ALL ABOUT THE YEARNING
❝ you need someone. let me be that person. let me be what you need. ❞
❝ look, i dunno if i’m the kind of person you need or even want right now. but i’m looking around and i’m the only one who’s here. ❞
❝ i never realized how much i needed you until you were the one person who wasn’t there. ❞
❝ you asked me once, if i would ever take a chance on us…maybe that ship sailed. but. ask me again? sometime— doesn’t have to be today. maybe tomorrow just. ask me again. ❞
❝ i know i can’t protect you from everything, but i wish you’d let me protect you from the things i can control. ❞
❝ i used to have so much faith. maybe not in deities or something but, in the world. the universe. i believed their was a purpose to it all. i’m not sure when i lost that. ❞
❝ have you ever had something…missing? like something just doesn’t feel right inside you but you don’t know what it is. ❞
❝ sometimes, i just need the world to be beautiful. i know how dark and ugly it can be but i just want to see something good and focus only on it for a few minutes. ❞
❝ i was sort’ve hoping you needed me. is that selfish? ❞
❝ people need someone to see them for what they are and not just see it but accept it. i want to be that person for anyone i can…but it can be so suffocating to be that person and also remain unseen. ❞
❝ sometimes i feel i’m being crushed under the weight of everything i’ll never be. ❞
❝ you’re looking at me but you’re not seeing me. do you know how that feels? just see me. please. ❞
❝ i want to deserve you. i’m trying to deserve you. ❞
❝ i know i fucked up. i know i did but don’t shut me out anymore. let me in. please let in. ❞
❝ every time you smile at me, i memorize it. i remember each moment that i get to be the one to bring out that light inside you. no matter what happens between us, that’s what i’ll remember. ❞
❝ i can’t help but think there’s got to be something out there for me, somewhere. just some place where i actually feel like i belong. ❞
❝ the world is so big. why do i never feel like i fit into it? ❞
❝ when i’m with you i feel like myself. i feel like every side of me is present and accepted. and i feel good about it— i feel good about who i am when i’m with you. ❞
❝ do you like me? i know you love me. i know you care about me but. do you like who i am? ❞
❝ i want to look in the mirror one day and not feel uncomfortable with my own reflection. ❞
❝ just take my hand and close your eyes. pretend we’re anywhere else but here. ❞
❝ so, what would you be? if you had to power to change all the things making you unhappy, what would your life look like? ❞
❝ do you even know what it does to me? every time i see you cry, any time you’re hurt even the smallest bit it just— do you realize how deeply you’ve imbedded yourself into my heart? ❞
❝ i don’t feel like a whole person without you anymore. i don’t fucking care if anyone else would say about that. you’re part of who i am now. the most important piece of me. ❞
❝ every time you walk away you take another piece of me with you. ❞
❝ i’m only really living in the moments when we’re together. the rest is just existing until you look at me again. ❞
❝ it feels like there’s a string around my heart and it’s connected to you. everywhere you go you’re just tugging me behind, pulling me towards you. ❞
❝ you’ve got me in the palm of your hands. you could crush me and i would still thank you for touching me at all. ❞
❝ i no longer know where i end and you begin. you’ve wound yourself around my soul so tightly, you’re all i feel anymore. ❞
❝ you’ve stolen my heart, the least you could do is tell me what you intend to do with it. ❞
❝ i don’t have perfect words. i’m not the kind of person who knows how to sound poetic and shit. so all i know what to tell you is that i belong to you. i don’t know if you want me. but i’m yours. and at this point however it is you need me, i’m here. ❞
❝ you’re the only thing that matters anymore. i can’t eat, i can’t sleep— all the goddamn cliches from every stupid movie and song. you’re all i think about. i’m useless except when i’m yours. ❞
❝ i haven’t stopped thinking about the way you laugh. i’m hoping i’ll get to hear it again. ❞
❝ when your eyes are on me, i feel like something worth seeing. ❞
❝ just let me look at you for a little bit. ❞
❝ i would do anything for you. all my lines and rules. they mean nothing when it comes to you. it’d cross and break them all just to make you happy. ❞
semi-hiatus for september
not to be tmi but finally moving out of fuck ass florida back to nyc this month 😍
replies have been / will be slow 💜
feel free to add on discord in the meantime! in tags
#7 one fighter is injured but refuses to stop. the other hesitates. for geto & megumi perhaps? 👀
Although he no longer had direct ties to Jujutsu High in any official, day to day capacity, he occasionally returned to campus for 2-3 week segments hosting intensive training workshops. Generally, there's an open session for first years to get exposure to low-grade curses within a controlled environment. meaning, real battle experience in a low stakes setting. In addition to that, a selection of student(s) are further assigned to train one on one with him. Which, is how he's ended up with this assigned student that's just taken a blow to his upper arm... He had witnessed it in slow motion, observing that one shift of posture that rendered him vulnerable to the strike. The kid bounced right back, adamant to 'try again'.
Suguru takes notice of the visible cuts and injuries, simply letting him attempt to protest for another go. He motions closer, calm and reserved in his demeanor. "so ... where did you go wrong?" he answers with a mere prompt. Because that's exactly the point – prompting reflection, and the thought process involved. It's about understanding the cause and effect. Many younger sorcerers made the mistake in linking brute effort and damage to success, and triumph. But, the reality of the matter is, raw strength alone isn't enough. "if you don't know why it happened, you're bound to repeat it."
// @tensdivinity
"You pervert -- " she rolled her eyes, placing her hands on her hips for a moment, and she shrugged. " But fine, that sounds like fun, really! It's been ages since I've gone to the beach!
Pervert ??! just the suggestion nearly has him clutching his chest. cue the theatrics~
"Momo... if there's one thing I can't stand ... it's a pervert." elaborating with a shake of his head, "Nothing gets under my skin more than a slimy creep that goes around objectifying girls like that." glancing in the other direction, "I mean, where's the shame...?" he continues playing up to the dramatics. never mind the fact Jiji himself isn't exactly the picture of innocent!
Once they hit the divide at the end of her hallway, Jiji just as easily drops his little act with a casual shrug as he motions toward the guest room door, "Anyway! One more thing... " his tone shifts completely as he calls out to her, "Jetskis, waverunners ... for or against?"
// @ofamess
