my moulin rouge take...
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda

Janaina Medeiros

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Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ

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@annabethfiles
my moulin rouge take...
"it's all just going so fast. time will pass no matter what."
"it may feel like it got used up, but there's an endless supply of it."
scorpius constellation outside my window tonight 🤍 💫🔭 scor shining brightly as always
getting over someone doesn't necessarily hurt? it just aches. it fills my gut with dread every time I remember I have to be the friend who doesn't take a hundred pictures of you because you look beautiful, and even more so every second that your smile stays on your face. when I catch myself staring I unwillingly turn my head because I know you'd never glance at me for a fraction of the time I gaze upon you. I betray my heart, for it loves with no limits or the knowledge my brain has learned. it aches for someone who does not extend it's longing.
yaz and sammy make me so happy bc that's a slow burn done right! their relationship was built on the solid history and connection they share with many scenes in early seasons of them being especially emotionally affected because of each other. in season 1, sammy's betrayal hurts yaz so much more than the others because she was the first person yaz felt she could trust. and sammy cared so much in the first place to be there for yaz. when yaz goes out to find the antidote in season 3, the montage of her entire relationship thus far with sammy perfectly shows how much they mean to each other; she would do anything for her. i feel like good queer slow burns are so rare but i was soooo happy with yaz and sammy. I remember thinking in the earlier seasons they should be together and I'm so happy they are
was doodling and this is kinda silly and dumb but drawing this felt like the peacefulness from kenji's scene on the mountain 🥲
I love yaz and ben's friendship because they understand each other like no one else. from the beginning, they've both been the introverts and have a hard time connecting with other people. even though they had opposite personalities especially in the beginning of camp cretaceous (yaz's determination vs ben's fear), they both understand how hard it is to open up to other people and cling onto the people who they choose to put their trust in. and they are extremely hurt when those people betray them. since then, they never underestimate each other, and encourage each other to reach for their desires that they might be too scared to pursue on their own. ben is the one who encourages yaz to confess to sammy and is so proud of her as she heals from her ptsd. yaz albeit shocked, is nothing less than proud of ben when he tells her he has a girlfriend (whether it's real or not lol). while they both had a hard time understanding each other at first, they really are the most similar and I love their friendship so much. and the way ben always calls her "fadoula" I adore them.
I forget yet love that yaz is slightly emo at heart. like she loves vampires, scary stories, says she's gonna haunt them from beyond the grave, and when getting the attention of the guards she just goes "boo." that's my girl
looking at the sunset
on kenji; chaos theory season 1 ep 4
i personally love the integration of more background identity in the new season. kenji especially having his identity tied to his father and all of its associations like being forced to learn japanese, being put under the pressure of "the best" and rejecting any familial bonding because of their race says so much about his relationship with himself and his father. he's always been compared to his father but even more so because he's singled out for being japanese. kenji has matured so much since season 5 to chaos theory and im really proud of how they did justice to his character. we're finally seeing the consequences and development from learning to survive on his own and going against his father. its made him more reliant on himself and he's learning to trust himself first and foremost, taking his own morals and beliefs into consideration, like how he knows what he wants in a relationship, or how he's scared to trust again after being wronged (his skepticism towards darius). at the same time, he's become more humble and rebuilding his ideals from scratch. he's grateful, humble, and unsure, but learns to be confident when others around him provide him with everything he's lacked (darius' mom taking kenji in and kenji always checking up on her). im honestly not sure where they're going to take his character after his dad's death and i would be actually interested and happy if he descended into madness, guilt, regret, and grief. this series seems to be a lot darker than the first and i would be more interested to watch more difficult topics. he's been doing a lot on his own since camp cretaceous and maybe dealing with this grief (and brooklynn's death) on his own, we can see all that guilt and grief rise to the surface and he can reconnect with his friends in the later seasons as they reassure him that he's always supported and doesn't have to do it on his own. reasonably that won't happen over the period of time i'd like and im not sure i want it at all if they can't do it right. camp cretaceous couldn't seem to focus on the deeper problems, but i understand because it was aimed at kids. while chaos theory is still aimed for kids, its a little darker, and i hope they can learn from the flaws of cretaceous.
"what do you wish I understood about you?"
- "that's a hard question."
- "I wish you understood..."
- "I wish you understood how much I love you."
- "I love you more than I love myself."
Could you perhaps doodle Kaz hugging Inej from behind? :)
Cleaning knives together :)
chalice of the gods percabeth i love you...
a ramble on the dragon prince: characters and morals
(bear with me for this first paragraph I wrote it very poorly before getting into my thoughts.)
the reason I love the dragon prince so much is because they are characters who I resonate with and become everything ive tried to be- everything good ive tried to be and bad ive tried to fix. they set the example of learning from mistakes and redeeming relationships and choosing the right thing even when its hard. especially s2 callum was important to me bc the episodes and of his panic attack dream was everything I felt and a representation I needed in those moments. a character who felt he didnt belong in anything he tried, but against all odds found his place. and in the moment he had to abandon the one thing he found for himself in order to save others (smashing the primal stone), he did it in a heartbeat. he always puts others before himself even if it means he has to do the wrong thing, he is loyal to a fault. he loves and trusts unconditionally. he is 100% genuine with everything he says and he is always there to lift up his friends and especially his brother. everything he says is from the heart; I especially keep thinking about how he comforted rayla at the oasis and gave ezran the same speech about changes that harrow told him. and at the same time, despite acting as the voice of reason, reassurance, and rights, he has no idea where he fits in and so desperately wants to find it (at least in the beginning seasons). and that's where I find I connect to him the most. despite having no clue where I fit in the world or even with those around me, I know I want to be there to be a voice of comfort and genuineness.
and soren, he has one of my favorite character arcs in all tv/cinema. he begins cocky and pretentious, yet doesn't understand why he does everything he does. but it's to earn his father's approval. he would do anything for his father's approval. but by the end of s3, he does a full 180. when he's injured, he's relieved. that he can't do anything evil because he can't do anything at all. over my young life ive had many moments of realization that things ive said and done in the past were selfish and wrong. I look up to sorens ability to come out of his experiences and apologize for his poor behavior and does so through actions. he goes from seeking his father's approval to understanding his own values and worth and would go as far to kill his own father bc it's the morally right thing to do. few people have such good in their heart to put pure morals above any selfish desires.
in the dragon prince, the biggest conflict is family. everything viren does is for his family: to keep them safe, to give them what he never had. granted, many of virens actions are selfish and quite the opposite of helpful to his family, namely when he would continuously choose power (the egg) over his own son and lie about his loved ones' wishes to benefit himself. claudia too acts out of the love for her family: viren and soren. her first act into evil is to bring soren back to feeling and though not evil in nature, she goes beyond the natural and causes havoc in reversing natural events, giving her the first white streak of hair. the rest come from reviving her father. claudia acts entirely in love for her family and would cross the border of morals to keep them safe. up until season 4 (and maybe further), her acts can be justified by the trauma and conflicts of her childhood, constantly having to pick sides, beginning with her parents' divorce. she refuses to leave any of her remaining family behind and would do anything for them. she crosses the line into morally evil when terry points out how cruel it is that she tricked rayla with the gold coins, and it becomes clear that she does not carry any empathy for those outside of her immediate loved ones. this is where her actions can be compared to callum's in season 5. when faced with the danger that rayla will be fed to the ocean creatures, callum has no choice but to use dark magic to release himself from the chains and save her. in this situation, there really was no other option than for callum to release himself in order to save the others. dark magic has always been regarded as evil under any circumstance, yet this situation creates nuance between using dark magic for good, and what is considered "good." it could be argued that claudia is using her magic for good, to save the ones she loves, just as callum is saving the ones he loves. what makes one cause more justified than the other, and is there a situation where dark magic is considered good? it makes it difficult to understand where I stand on my opinions of claudia, especially after this recent season. this show makes me think about morals, my place in the world, and how these characters have guided me in my own philosophies. though it's become much darker in the recent seasons, one thing I do enjoy is how much it makes me think. when it comes to storytelling, the dragon prince is extremely open-world. even if unintentional, I'd like to think the vastness of the tdp world is supposed to make us question what is right and what is possible even moreso.
mulan <3
the dragon prince how to train your dragon parallels 🫶