vibes: vacation, pain, giggles, self-loathing, found family, pain, addiction, did I mention pain? but make it funny.
read on AO3
podfic available
vibes: secrets, emotional constipation, aimlessness, young guys not being too smart about their life choices;
(Steve's a barely reformed mean girl)
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vibes: denial, daddy issues, dark comedy
read on AO3
vibes: living away from home for the first time, fights about dishes, coziness, weed, platonic cuddling, oh and pain. ACT universe, but can be read as standalone.
read on AO3
vibes: WWDITS, silliness, vampires, charming and unlikely couple of OCs, screenplay format
Why doesn't anyone ever draw old Steddie? I want grandpa's yellow sweater and pappy's thread worn metal tees. I want eyerolling grandchildren while their granddads go on about the "war" no one else remembers.
PSA to fic readers, it is so hard to freak a fic writer out with your comments. we are just as crazy about the fic as you are.
tell me you love it. tell me it made you slam your laptop shut. tell me you brought it up at your college lecture about kink. key smash in all caps. quote the passage that made you think. i promise, we’ll love it.
we spend hours thinking about it, writing it, editing it. there is no such thing as over enthusiasm when you’re talking about our fics to us. we are sooooo weird about them, i assure you. you are just matching my freak. the freak bar is already set so high. feel no anxiety about enjoying something and letting the creator know.
started reading Henry James’s Portrait of a Lady and
I am gagged, I am gooped, I am to my very core riveted by how incredible this book is. The sentences are labirynthine, the language is to die for, it’s smart, it’s ironic, the dialogue is hilarious, it’s all very subtextual. It’s a slow read, because u just can’t skim over it, otherwise you'll quickly lose track. It’s a very long book, so I’ll probably be reading this for 3 weeks or more, but I’m excited. I love Isabel, what a heroine.
This goddamn book has me howling when an incel named Lord Warburton steps back in. Has me gooped at the scandalous things Lady Gemini dares to say. Has me mad at a fake hoe named Madame Merle. I'm having so much fun with it.
started reading Henry James’s Portrait of a Lady and
I am gagged, I am gooped, I am to my very core riveted by how incredible this book is. The sentences are labirynthine, the language is to die for, it’s smart, it’s ironic, the dialogue is hilarious, it’s all very subtextual. It’s a slow read, because u just can’t skim over it, otherwise you'll quickly lose track. It’s a very long book, so I’ll probably be reading this for 3 weeks or more, but I’m excited. I love Isabel, what a heroine.
This goddamn book has me howling when an incel named Lord Warburton steps back in. Has me gooped at the scandalous things Lady Gemini dares to say. Has me mad at a fake hoe named Madame Merle. I'm having so much fun with it.
My main beef with IWTV is that is a January show. FOH with that June/July airing time, it should drop in the dead of winter when I’m so suicidal from the lack of sunlight that I’m willing to hear those fuckers out
started reading Henry James’s Portrait of a Lady and
I am gagged, I am gooped, I am to my very core riveted by how incredible this book is. The sentences are labirynthine, the language is to die for, it’s smart, it’s ironic, the dialogue is hilarious, it’s all very subtextual. It’s a slow read, because u just can’t skim over it, otherwise you'll quickly lose track. It’s a very long book, so I’ll probably be reading this for 3 weeks or more, but I’m excited. I love Isabel, what a heroine.
old drawing of old men, and a lil 1500 word something something for old man enjoyers under the cut
Eddie decides to fuck it and buys the goddamn ring before they go on vacation, five nights in Hawaii, where they’ll relax and bathe in the ocean and meet several times with Robin and the fam, which Steve is absolutely stoked about, giddy when they land, not even impressed with their luxury hotel all that much, so eager he is to see his oldest friend.
So, the first night is out, spent in lovely company in the backyard warmly lit with string lights, and Eddie can’t pop the question then, not when they’re visiting and all. On their second day, they spend most of it on the beach with Lia and the kids, and from his beach chair, in a wide-brimmed hat, Eddie bounces baby Charlie on his knee and smiles at Steve playing with Nico, horsing around on land and in the water. After, they shower off the sand, have a quickie on the hotel room couch, shower again, and suddenly it’s dinnertime. Yes, the restaurant is quite nice, yes the food is excellent, and Steve gets to loosen up with a little wine, but Eddie will absolutely not propose in a public place, do anything as gauche as that, getting down on one knee with some hired string quartet and photographers and lava cakes or whatnot. Gross. So, day two, after dinner they go to bed, and make love again, this time not hurrying, could definitely pop the question right after, but he’s so cozy, snuggled up, doesn’t have pockets on his naked body, the ring is in his discarded pants, and he falls asleep anyway.
By day three, Eddie begins to panic a little. He doesn’t really have a plan. He doesn’t even know if Steve will say yes, for fuck’s sake, they’ve been together a little over two years, and it’s been wonderful, but they’re still long distance, and have to remain so for a few more years, so who the hell knows. Also, for Steve, it would be his third time getting married, a number at which people start raising their eyebrows and pursing their lips, thinking judgy shit. Which Eddie doesn’t give a fuck about, but Steve, oh, he’s still concerned with people liking him. Even if they don’t care for him, like his mother, who knows about them, but has flat-out refused to meet Eddie altogether, citing advanced age, weak heart, can’t travel, all the bullshit that to this day hurts her son.
Their third day is for sightseeing, some shopping, a lunch in a seafood restaurant, a stroll with overpriced ice cream down a sun-striped promenade, and in the afternoon they’re meeting Robin again, and part after a while, so that Steve gets to have some one-on-one with his oldest friend. It lasts until the evening, when he joins Eddie on their private patio, and on two neighboring pool chairs they watch the ocean, sighing at the beauty. Eddie steals glances at his smiling profile, finely hemmed in gold light, and thinks this could really be the moment, but by the time he gathers courage, Steve gets a phone call from his eldest, which lasts long enough for Eddie to doze off.
And then it’s day four, the vacation is almost over, and Eddie panics. They had scheduled a hike for that day, so he takes the little box with the ring with him, along with water and snacks and sunscreen. He forgets the bug spray, though, and by the time they finally reach the peak with the most breathtaking view, he’s a bit miserable, bitten by mosquitoes, out of breath, and very sweaty, so they share the water bottle, sitting on a wooden bench, looking at the bay, and this might very well be it, and he reaches to his butt pocket, but just as he does, a group of hikers joins them on the peak, chattering and oohing at the view. Goddammit.
When they finally descend, they have lunch and take a cab to the hotel, to shower and change and prepare for the evening. Eddie retreats to the patio, walking in circles tries to think up something romantic, as Steve’s still in the shower, and by the time his damp and gorgeous boyfriend emerges, he’s got absolutely nothing, and it must show on his face, because Steve stops, blinking at him: What’s the matter?
— I’m… tired, he says, and yawns, because it’s true, they did twenty-five thousand steps and his ass will ache after all that climbing and descending, and Steve nods at that, yeah, same. Hey, how about that thing? he says, pointing at a ridiculous two-person hammock that hangs under a wooden deck roof, and Eddie stares, cogs in his head turning. Would be silly to do it there, wouldn’t it? Completely anticlimactic. But he’s such a clown as it is, and most people would expect him to put on a show, propose in some insufferably extravagant fashion. Except, most people are wrong. He’s never been much of an exhibitionist. Steve knows that.
— Oh man, a power nap in that? Sign me up, says Eddie.
— We got an hour and a half until they’re here, says Steve, because they invited the ladies to a fancy dinner in the hotel restaurant, and Eddie nods at that, Okay, be right back, I’ll bring some water, and he dips back to their bedroom, where he dropped his hiking clothes, and plucks the box from the back pocket. Opens it, smiling at the nifty mechanism that makes the ring pop out. Alright, he whispers to himself.
Steve’s sprawled in the banana shape already when Eddie returns, and he beckons with a smile. Getting into that goddamn hammock is a whole production, Steve tries to sit up as much as he can as he instructs Eddie to get in butt first, and then swing his legs in. Annnd you’re golden, he says quietly, as Eddie finally scrambles into that goddamn contraption that swivels wildly from all the commotion. He nestles on his side, while Steve’s on his back, one arm thrown over his head, the other wrapped around Eddie.
— C’mere, whispers Steve, scooping him higher, as the hammock still swings. This is nice, he whispers, drowsily.
Eddie lies with his cheek on his warm chest, for a while listens to the steady heartbeat, trying to calm his own. Weird to jump him like that, when he’s half asleep, but before he can stop himself, he clears his throat: Hey, um. I was thinking.
— Mm?
— Like, would— would you ever marry me?
He risks a look, but Steve’s lying with eyes closed, small smile on his lips, murmuring: Oh, sure.
Eddie sneaks his hand to his back pocket and extracts the box, wraps his fingers around it, his heart beating like mad: So, uh… will you marry me?
Steve’s eyes open, blinking at the roof, and he cocks his head down, stares at Eddie’s hand holding the box: Oh my god!
Now Eddie can do nothing but watch him, awaiting an answer. Can’t kneel, he tries to get up on his elbow, but the hammock is dumb, he only makes it swing more.
— Are you… is this for real? says Steve, his gaze flicking between Eddie’s face and the tiny wooden box. Oh my god, he whispers, and Eddie nudges his hand, still watching him like a hawk: Open it.
Steve does, uttering a low cry of surprise, and he gasps at the ring, and looks at Eddie, wide-eyed and pink-cheeked. Holy shit, he whispers, gingerly taking the ring in his fingers, rotating it. It’s platinum with some tastefully inlaid diamonds, and bits of dino bone, for shits and giggles.
— Um, says Eddie, and Steve looks up, and his mouth parts, and his eyes widen: Oh, right! Yes! I’ve just, uh— never been on the receiving end of this. Yes, I will, he says, and Eddie beams, and slides the ring on his finger, and kisses him in the stupid hammock, and Steve kisses back, trying to maneuver to sit up and mostly failing.
— Can’t believe you got to ask me first, he grumbles, flushed and out of breath.
— Were you… thinking about it? says Eddie, and gets an awkward shrug, I mean, kind of, yeah. I googled gay engagement rings and got some godawful results, really gaudy stuff. Lots of very cheap rainbow-themed jewelry, he says, and Eddie huffs: Aw, I’d love it, you know.
Steve cocks his head: Wait, did you— were you done waiting for me, is that why—
— Nah, says Eddie. I just figured, you popped the question twice in your life already, you deserved to be proposed to, for once. Also, done waiting for me, Steve, we’ve been together for barely two years, we’re not lesbians, for fuck’s sake.
— Yeah. Holy shit, though, he sighs. I get now why women react to proposals like that. You really surprised me, you know? he says, and his eyes are so warm that Eddie would just marry him on the spot, if it was possible. Steve blinks at him, smiles: Speaking of lesbians, are we going to tell them tonight? They’re gonna lose it, he says, fondly, then reaches to move a strand of hair from Eddie’s face, and kisses him, long and sweet, and when they part, whispers we still got some time, to which Eddie offers a very enthusiastic yes please.
Hastily scrambling out of the hammock, he falls on his aching ass, which Steve cackles at, bending in half, then, still laughing, helps him up and makes the ass ache even worse in a short time, but oh, that man is his goddamn fiancée, he can very well do just that.