Annoying PR

This is a list of corporate, marketing and PR buzzwords and tactics that drive reporters crazy. I've been in the news business for nearly a decade and a half, so I've dealt with my fair share. If I sound bitter, it's because I am. var _gaq = _gaq || []; _gaq.push(['_setAccount', 'UA-23741829-1']); _gaq.push(['_trackPageview']); (function() { var ga = document.createElement('script'); ga.type = 'text/javascript'; ga.async = true; ga.src = ('https:' == document.location.protocol ? 'https://ssl' : 'http://www') + '.google-analytics.com/ga.js'; var s = document.getElementsByTagName('script')[0]; s.parentNode.insertBefore(ga, s); })();

[annoyingpr]

Pizza delivery fail

If you want to pull a publicity stunt with free pizza deliveries, make sure you get the right address. Or even the right city. Hint: I don't work in San Francisco.

Better yet, maybe just avoid the publicity stunt.

[annoyingpr]

Robin William's death an "opportunity"?

As we mourn the loss of Robin Williams to depression, we must recognize it as an opportunity to engage in a national conversation.

Perhaps that BlackBerry app maker took its cues from Edelman? This is surprisingly tone deaf -- it's shocking that this was posted publicly. I'm sure companies are rearing to be part of this story after this little item went public. 

[annoyingpr]

Here's an example of a pitch with extremely bad taste. (It should be clear that BlackBerry isn't the company pitching this, but some third-party vendor). It was terrible enough to motivate me into posting something here for the first time in nearly two years. 

[annoyingpr]

A great description of one of the most used words in tech by The Verge.

[annoyingpr]

The Flaky Expert Pitch

If you're going to pitch your industry expert or executive for an interview, make sure the person is available before you do it. That would seem like common sense, but I guess not.

[annoyingpr]

Fake PR stunt is just stupid

A PR trainwreck in the making. The clock is ticking on an apology for unnecessary calamity and concern this will cause (This is fake, in case you didn't figure it out):

iPhone 5 PR Stunt Ends in Disaster Leaving 21 Homeless

September 26th, 2012, San Francisco, in a series of "stunts" to gain public attention for a new Apple iPhone 5 and iPad game launch, a startup went overboard causing massive property damage.

At 7:00 am, a crew drove 3 cranes, equipped with 1.5 ton wrecking balls, to a mid-city housing complex. The wrecking balls were painted to look like roundish flying Yumbies, adorable characters who smash through buildings and other structures in the game.

"It sounded like a clever idea," stated Steve Hoffman, the CEO of Playgearz, the company that created the Yumbies. "But there was trouble with the execution."

With a cheering audience, the cranes arrived at a supposedly abandoned housing complex in South San Francisco. Amidst the fanfare, they proceeded to carry out a demolition in the style of their game.

A bystander reported: "Things began to look odd when a couple inside the building started yelling for help and waving white t-shirts."

A second bystander saw residents crowding fire escapes on the side of the building. Within 2 minutes, there were 237 phone calls made to 9-11.

"We couldn't get their attention in the cranes," said a neighborhood security guard. "Most of them were listening to heavy metal music while operating the machinery. Giant painted wrecking balls were swinging everywhere."

Firemen reported that two thirds of the building was demolished in the failed stunt, causing an estimated $9 million in damages.

Tork, the Yumby foreman in charge, is quoted as having said, "They told us the building was condemned."

A woman who was inside the building during the demolition told reporters, "I thought it was the beginning of the end… What are Yumbies? I don't understand why this happened."

Court hearings have been scheduled for early December. All Yumbies are being held without bail until the trial, while the San Francisco district attorney looks into whether game characters can be prosecuted.

About PlayGearz

PlayGearz is a mobile games studio located in San Francisco, California. PlayGearz develops and publishes apps and games for Apple's (AAPL) iPhone & iPad on iOS 6, as well as Google's (GOOG) Android, Amazon's (AMZN) Kindle Fire, Facebook (FB), and Barnes & Noble (BKS) Nook. If you haven't guessed already, the Yumbies are fictional characters who inhabit the PlayGearz games. Although they enjoy smashing things, it typically doesn't cause physical damage or add to San Francisco's housing problems.

[annoyingpr]

One Way to Lose a Reporter

Making a glaring mistake in a pitch for an "industry expert":

Apple Expert & Member of Apple Reseller Board Available to Speak to the Benefits & Bugs of Apples Latest iPad Operating System

Apple's recent release has been a major one and spurred an unprecedented adoption rate of 15 percent within the first 24 hours. With 200-plus new features in iOS 6, XXX, Owner of Apple re-seller XXX and a member of the Apple Reseller's Board can help clarify what this upgrade means to iPad users. And as with any upgrade, she can help keep your audience up to date on any bug fixes.

"Most issues being reported about iOS6 Lion are being quickly addressed," says XXX. "The upgrade offers a large number of features that are uniquely beneficial to users and well worth downloading right away."

iOS 6 Lion? Okay, moving on...

[annoyingpr]

The Hot Topic Drafter

Please don't pitch a company or announcement that has an ultra-thin tangential connection to some hot topic (read: iPhone 5). It's just a waste of everyone's time and doesn't exactly get you in the reporter's good graces. (Image courtesy of Apple)

[annoyingpr]

"Vector"

For executives, it's corporate jargon for another choice. I guess it makes them feel like fighter pilots or something when they say it. It sounds silly to me.

[annoyingpr]

The Oblivious Scheduler

I see this a lot in the tech world, but it really applies to any field. If there's a big event or press conference (i.e. Apple launches in tech, the DNC in politics, etc), don't schedule your announcement or event on the same day unless you want to get ignored. It just makes you look oblivious to the outside world. 

[annoyingpr]

"Seamless"

Another example of an over-used bit of tech jargon that's under the same category as "frictionless."

[annoyingpr]

The Off-The-Record Backtrack

If an executive is sitting down for an off-the-record discussion about a company or specific subject, don't trot him across town to the next publication and have him spout the exact same corporate rhetoric on the record. That's a quick way to burn some bridges.

[annoyingpr]

The Multiple Reply Ploy

From a friend in PR (yes, I have those): If you don't respond to an email pitch, the PR person will reply all multiple times so it looks like there's a back-and-forth dialogue going on. The subject header will start with Re:, so it looks like the reporter responded. Of course, if you use Google's Gmail for work, it doesn't matter since the emails are grouped into conversations, and the PR person just looks silly and desperate. 

[annoyingpr]

"Throwing the baby out with the bathwater"

Wall Street folk love this expression, used to describe an overreaction (read: massive sell-off) to negative news. They couldn't figure out a less gruesome cliche to use?

[annoyingpr]

Adult Entertainment Penetrates Social Media

- Subject line from a flak pitching an "adult industry expert" available for commentary. This falls under the so bad, it's good category.

[annoyingpr]

"Pivot"

That's Silicon Valley's recent term of choice for a quick shift in strategy. I guess it sounds cooler than "we messed up."

[thehardslog]

Me: Answers phone Excited voice PR lady: Hi Willem, I'd just like to flag somethign with you. Just about to send you and email to invite you to our new event coming up which.... *(I tuned out a little here, started continuing my work, waiting for her to breath so my accuracy is bit dodgy here) ... its about brands and how they can use branding to be awesome. Its at some place and we were wondering if you would be interested in coming. Me: Uhhh.. sorry in what role is this in regards to. Is this related to me being the editor of Digital Media? Excited voice PR lady: Umm, let me check, yes it is! We think your publication would be a great fit for this event! Me: Well I haven't worked on that for nearly two years now, and the website just redirects to our sister brand. No longer excited voice PR lady: Oh, well umm, sorry about that maybe we should take you off our lists. Me: Yes thats probably a good idea.