An Ode To My Banana Palm

[anodetomybananapalm]

Internet advice

It’s recovering! 

My banana palm is coming back to life.

In a strange turn of affairs, it appears copious volumes of water were not going to drown it. 

Upon Googling and Googling, the recurrent advice was ‘over-watering will drown your damn banana palm’.

So I gave it tiny waters. The tiniest bits that were not enough.

I dehydrated the poor thing. 

Perhaps if I learn to feed myself correctly, this will spill over to my banana palm and we’ll both thrive. 

Banana palm i’m gonna water you so much more often <3

[anodetomybananapalm]

Wanna get weird and play Mario Kart?

[anodetomybananapalm]

I remember

I am someone who doesn’t remember dreams.

Recently, I remember I dreamt some things.

I remember flashes and snapshots of scenes and images here and there. No solid storyline, incomplete bits. 

I remember being covered in Scottish fold kittens and two friends giggling and swirling around in circles above me like a photoshop effect from 2003.

I remember another time. Coated in white paint; shoulders, neck, face, hair, chest, stomach, sides, armpits, arms, yet not further than my wrists. I had the brightest yellow eyelashes and darkest eyes.

I remember being convinced I was awake, my bedroom door opening by an unknown person, and then nobody was there. A full, solid, physical being melting into nothingness. Then I woke up and couldn’t fathom where the person was, who they were, or wtf just happened.

I remember dreaming horrible, traumatic things, I don’t know what they were. I awoke feeling like a sledgehammer partied in my skull.

I don’t think I can remember any other slivers of dreams of recent.

Yet, I only dream when there is too much in my mind and I haven’t realized it yet.

[anodetomybananapalm]

I have no comprehension of how my existence will develop and change in the next days, weeks, year; the excitement, chills in my spine, the lazy long summer snoozes, knowledge, projects, parties, fun, friends, sunlight cracking over the world at 5am raising the deadsleepers back into their delightful times. I cannot wait to tell the stories I have not yet known.

An Ode to My Banana Palm

[anodetomybananapalm]

An Ode To My Banana Palm

My delightful banana palm is dying. All 1.80M of it’s luscious deep green presence.

I’m watching it slowly deteriorate, first the lower leaves drooped and turned yellow, and are slowly drying up and perishing. 

I googled banana palm care. I read and read and read and read and researched and let it dry out completely, watered it, gave it more light. 

And still it doesn’t get better. 

The top leaves are now cracking mid-way along and shriveling up at the ends. I am powerless to prevent this thing from dying further it seems. 

Watching this process feels like a metaphor for life and the relationships of all kinds which are constantly or temporarily part of (y)our experience. 

No matter what you do or don’t put in, despite endless care and the best attempts to make them work, sometimes they (the relationship, the person) fades away. 

No matter what you do it’s just a long watching game of disintegration until the time they are ready and able to pull themselves back out of, if it is possible. 

More often than not, they cannot. 

Banana palm, please get better. 

I wish I could do so much more to fix you. 

[anodetomybananapalm]

An Ode To My Banana Palm

My delightful banana palm is dying. All 1.80M of it’s luscious deep green presence.

I’m watching it slowly deteriorate, first the lower leaves drooped and turned yellow, and are slowly drying up and perishing. 

I googled banana palm care. I read and read and read and read and researched and let it dry out completely, watered it, gave it more light. 

And still it doesn’t get better. 

The top leaves are now cracking mid-way along and shriveling up at the ends. I am powerless to prevent this thing from dying further it seems. 

Watching this process feels like a metaphor for life and the relationships of all kinds which are constantly or temporarily part of (y)our experience. 

No matter what you do or don’t put in, despite endless care and the best attempts to make them work, sometimes they (the relationship, the person) fades away. 

No matter what you do it’s just a long watching game of disintegration until the time they are ready and able to pull themselves back out of, if it is possible. 

More often than not, they cannot. 

Banana palm, please get better. 

I wish I could do so much more to fix you.