Amateur translator of Chinese novels. Currently translating Hot Soup and Soft Bread (热的汤，软的面包) For all translated works see https://anon-apple.tumblr.com/translations
When Zhong Qiuyan drove by the location of the former stirfry shop, he parked by the roadside and stared for a long time. The inside has already been cleared out, and the old signboard drooped down from above the doorframe. This will be his restaurant in the future; he couldn’t quite believe it just yet.
In the past few days, he cooked a few of what he intended to sell as his restaurant's signature dishes for Zhou Cunqu. Dishes like wild shiitake mushroom rice, chestnut pumpkin steamed rice, Pad Thai, et cetera. Cunqu particularly liked the Pad Thai. Zhong Qiuyan had pulled out a bottle of fish sauce from who knows where, and the rice noodles' flavor was particularly delicious. One day, Cunqu requested Qiuyan to cook it again, and he packed a serving inside the little pink pig bento box for Shi Shuyuan to taste. She smiled and said, “Your little pink pig’s cooking skills aren’t bad.”
Zhou Cunqu reiterated: “Don’t call him little pink pig.”
At the same time, the little pink pig Zhong Qiuyan was pulling A’Shan and Da Yu to the side of the storefront. He pointed at it and bragged: “Ge picked this store for me to open a restaurant with. He even did the design of the shopfront for me.”
Da Yu let out a “Woah” and followed with, “It’s reminiscent of those financial-backer literature.”[1]
Qiuyan rebuked, “This is love with square feet as the unit of measurement, alright?”
Da Yu said to A’Shan: “Look, I’ve said it before. This guy is a prime example of fortune favoring fools.”
Qiuyan scolded, “How am I dumb??”
While the shop was undergoing renovations, Zhong Qiuyan was still busy every day as a bus driver. Instead, he let the unemployed Da Yu help oversee the work. At the same time, the South City Experimental Elementary School also started to renovate after its 35th founding anniversary celebrations. In a year, it would switch locations with the City First High School. This was because a fortune teller foretold that the feng shui (t/n: Chinese geomancy) on October Road was better and moving locations would be beneficial for raising the graduation rate. Anyway, the City First High students started attending school at the October Road location that year. The school uniform for the autumn months included a navy-colored windbreaker made of a material that rustled noisily with movement. They would stream out of the school gates like the dim light rays of the late dusk hours, flow across the street to the pretty little restaurant on the opposite side, and sit down for a meal. Even in the heat of summer vacation, they would meet up at the restaurant to do their summer homework over an order of watermelon shaved ice. In this muddle-headed high school era, they come here to secretly go on dates and come here to be heartbroken.
Many students from City First High would remember this restaurant. This restaurant named “Hot Soup and Soft Bread”, despite not selling either hot soup or soft bread. Every day, there was a special menu. The seasonal wild shiitake mushroom rice and the signature Pad Thai were both delicious. The boss would stand behind the cooking station and scoop out rice from a giant brown earthen pot, and the aroma of wild shiitake being cooked would disperse and linger around every corner of the small seating area. Many years later, the students of City First High would join the fatigued adults of modern society, working hard to make a living. And in certain sluggish twilight moments, as they drag their weary bodies from their workplace, they would suddenly recall those high school days. Along with it, there is the fragrance of that shiitake mushroom rice.
When “Hot Soup and Soft Bread” first opened, Da Yu helped out at the restaurant for a while. Zhou Cunqu had designed the little porch[2] outside the storefront so waiting customers or passersby could rest for a short while. However, after the “Double Yolk Egg” Grandpas discovered this location, they would show up early every day with a Go board. Zhong Qiuyan would give them each a cup of barley tea, and they would sit there and play Go until noon.
After getting off work, Cunqu pushed open the restaurant door and sat atop the bar stools next to a whole row of high schoolers. Qiuyan passed him a glass of water and asked, “This customer, what would you like to eat?”
Cunqu was about to reply, but he was interrupted by the excited yelps of the two high school girls next to him who were staring at their phone screens. They screeched, “He’s so handsome so handsome so handsome!!!” Qiuyan leaned over toward Cunqu and asked, “How about the secret menu?” Cunqu nodded.
After a bit, Qiuyan placed a bowl of fried rice before Cunqu. The fried rice contained chopped bamboo shoots, which were in season, as well as marinated meat, white beech mushrooms, and some other seasonal vegetables. Because that bowl of fried rice smelled way too good, the few students sitting beside Cunqu turned over to take a look. Qiuyan knocked on the table and said, “The school day ended, but you guys aren’t rushing home to do homework. How come you all are so free?”
The students’ mouths twitched, and they turned back to stare at their phone screens. They finished their meal, sat around for a bit more, and then, like chirping birds, left the shop amidst chatter to fly off to a nearby cram school. Sometimes, after closing shop around 8 pm, Qiuyan would sit beside the goldfish tank on the second floor and look down from the window. He’d recognize the faces of the backpack-wearing students, holding their trinkets-adorned phones, chatting while rushing to take the subway home. And the next day, at 6 am, those same students will emerge drowsily from various corners of the city and rush back to school.
Zhong Qiuyan and the newly hired waiter finished cleaning up the store. He closed up shop and walked back to Qin Qin Homeland. Zhou Cunqu recently started exercising and had just returned home from a half-hour run. After showering, he sat cross-legged on the sofa looking at his laptop. A few months ago, Shi Shuyan officially invited him to sign on. He leaned against the pedestrian bridge's railing and joked, “Boss, if work gets too demanding, I might leave anytime. You know me. Someone is willing to raise me now.”
Shiyuan laughed as she cursed, “Gross.”
The one raising Cunqun finally arrived home. After kicking off his shoes, Qiuyan slid onto the sofa and hugged Cunqu’s waist, rubbing his face against his while complaining, “You haven’t taken a single look at me since I got home. You’re just looking at your laptop. I’m angry angry.”[3]
Cunqu said exasperatedly, “Let me finish up with this email.”
Qiuyan was still repeating: “Angry, angry, angry…”
Cunqu lightly tapped his forehead and said: “Power off. Stop being annoying.”
Qiuyan aggrievedly shut his mouth, stood up, and ran off to the balcony. After Cunqu finally finished up with his work, he closed his laptop and walked to the balcony. He pinched Cunqu’s cheek and said, “Power on.”
Qiuyan lightly said, “Angry.”
They leaned against the balcony’s railing and looked toward the housing community under construction across the street. The framework of the new buildings was almost complete; time always marched forward. Cunqu lifted his head, took a deep breath, and commented that the air carried the scent of grape juice. Qiuyan replied that give it a month, and Qiu Xuemei would be coming here to gift them two whole crates of homegrown grapes.
In the sunset hours, when the streets are crawling with people, she will climb down from her cargo truck and push open Zhong Qiuyan’s restaurant’s door while holding two crates of grapes. She will sit down and take a break by the same window where she and Liu Xiaoying once sat. Turning her head, she will see the City First High’s students crowding by the bar counter, tilting up their faces, lit up by two cloud-shaped hanging ceiling lamps, chattering with Qiuyan, excitedly inquiring about his relationship history with sparkles in their eyes. And just like that, the love story of the boss of “Hot Soup and Soft Bread” will spread from one grade to another, from one year to the next. But many of the finer details and many of the deeper causes and effects are only known between me and you. Don’t go around telling that group of gossipy high schoolers.
And now, I will tell you one last thing. In this universe, atop some planet, within a neighborhood in some city of a country, behind the window of the fifth floor of a building, a wonderful love has settled down.[4]
----
Author's Note: This is a rather unpolished sweet little bedtime story. After finishing the story, I recommend listening to 天台晚餐 (Rooftop dinner) by 麥浚龍 (Juno mak) (t/n: youtube, lyrics). Please refrain from commenting about this story under the song, anything you want to see please say it here[5]. I’ll also be uploading two short epilogues for Madam Qiu Xuemei and Madam Liu Xiaoying. Later I’ll write a bit of Zhou ge and Little Zhong’s if-storyline[6]
Footnotes
[1] I translated this ltierally. Da Yu is referring to all the novels of the “rich ceo falls in love with me” genre; basically he’s suggesting that Zhou Cunqu is giving Sugar Daddy energy lol.
[2] The original term was 缘廊, which I believe refers to an engawa: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Engawa
[3] Zhong Qiuyan literally repeats “Angry” twice here. Just to clarify, he’s saying this not too seriously, in like a childish, spoiled manner. He’s 撒娇（Sājiāo)-ing for anyone familiar with the term.
[4] A call back to the storybook Zhou Cunqu read on the rooftop to the little kid in Chapter 15
[5] “Here” is the comment section of the raws, which I’ll link again here: https://www.gongzicp.com/novel-1597036.html
[6] Basically like an AU (alternate universe), she doesnt’ specify what kind. I’ll try to translate these eventually too.
t/n: And we're at an end! The reason why I picked this up (aside from the manageable length lol) is that the chapters often leave me with a warm fuzzy feeling (except for the angsty ones lol) I love how this story never forgets any of the side characters. The double-yolk egg grandpas, despite not being crucial to the main plotline of the story, consistently appeared throughout. And we even get some depth into Qiuyan's friends, especially A'Shan, despite how short this story was. I also adore how it describes just ordinary, daily lives. Like that bit about the high school students at the restaurant was so charming and nostalgic. Also! The fact that the shop Cunqu picked out for Qiuyan was the same store where Liu Xiaoying and Qiu Xuemei had their encounter (ch 23)! The world is so big; the world is so small. May Zhou Cunqu and Zhong Qiuyan be happy forever~
If you guys liked this story, please leave it a rating & review on https://www.novelupdates.com/series/hot-soup-and-soft-bread/ so more people can read it~
For the past few days, Qiu Xuemei would reject the call whenever Zhong Qiuyan phoned her. So on his day off, he drove back home. Zhong Baochen was washing the soil off the potatoes he dug up in the courtyard. Qiuyan squatted beside him and asked, “Where’s Qiu Xuemei?”
Zhong Baochen said: “I don’t know. She’s been leaving early and coming back late these days.”
Qiuyan bumped against Baochen’s arm, asking: “Hey, Baochen ge, did she say anything to you?”
Baochen continued rinsing the potatoes with his head lower, replying, “When she returned home from the city a few days ago, she sat down on the daybed and cried for a long time, and she wouldn’t say anything even when I asked. He suddenly lifted his head and asked, “Did you do something?”
Qiuyan rubbed his nose guiltily and didn’t respond.
On that day, Qiu Xuemei was already gone when he opened the door again. Qiuyan had been so startled that his back was covered in cold sweat. He cleared his throat and told Zhou Cunqu, “My mom was at the door just now.”
Based on Qiuyan’s understanding of Qiu Xuemei, she’s not the type of person who would run away from her problems. But perhaps the shock was too intense this time; Xuemei didn’t show up again.
One evening, some days later, Zhong Qiuyan had just headed out for his shift, and Zhou Cunqu arrived home from work not soon after. He saw Qiu Xuemei standing at the door. Cunqu said while opening the door, “Auntie Zhong Qiuyan had just left for work.”
Xuemei followed him inside, saying: “I know. I’m here for you.”
Xuemei entered the apartment and placed a bucket of her homemade lychee wine on the dining room table. She wandered around the place, taking note of the two sweatshirts air-drying on the balcony, one larger than the other, the pile of Zhong Qiuyan’s football magazine placed next to Zhou Cunqu’s books atop the coffee table, the various handwritten notes left by Qiuyan for Cunqu stuck to the fridge door with magnets. Xuemei, still holding her little red handbag, stopped by the low cabinet and asked: “You studied abroad at a renowned school, and you’re an architect?”
Cunqu poured a cup of warm water for Xuemei, confirming: “Yes, I did study abroad, and I am an architect.”
Xuemei nodded her head and leaned against the cabinet. Faced with her silence, Cunqu was too timid to say anything and continued standing beside the sofa. Xuemei finally muttered, “So what do you even see in Zhong Qiuyan? That boy can’t do anything…”
Cunqu was taken aback for a moment. Xuemei walked over and sat down on the sofa, and Cunqu followed to sit beside her. The sun had fallen further down West, and Xuemei gazed outside the window. Seemingly out of nowhere, she said: “So dusk can really be colored in this shade of aged, worn yellow..” She turned her head towards Xuemei and asked, “How did you two meet?”
On that day, the two of them sat together on the couch, and Zhou Cunqu took his story out. He unfolded, crumbled, polished, and told it all to Qiu Xuemei. He realized this was the first time he had told his past in its complete picture, from start to finish. He hadn’t even recounted things like this to Zhong Qiuyan.
He recounted how his mother told him to not change in front of cats when he was little. He asked why, but his mother didn’t answer and just insisted that he must not do it. And so whenever he changed his clothes, he would take care to avoid his family cat. It’s events like those and words that led Cunqu to one day realize how much the things one hears can shape one’s life.
While living alone in Japan, he raised a cat as well. Once, he returned home late into the night and realized his cat had escaped from the open window, never to return. On that same night, Qi Lanxiang, concerned about his mental health, flew over from China to take care of him. Therefore, during that period, Qi Lanxiang would accompany Cunqu whenever he had his weekly therapist visit. And whenever he returned home, he would be greeted by his mother’s home-cooked meal and freshly washed laundry. He should have felt grateful. But instead, he felt more and more in pain. And so, just like that cat, he escaped out the window and ran away.
In the two years that he lived with his grandma, she would also cook and wash his clothes for him. Yet Cunqu never experienced the same sort of adverse reaction. Only then did he discover he had been wrong; Love never should have required working hard, being happy, repaying his mother, or any other type of exchange. Love can just be his grandma remembering to buy Chocomonts for him or condoning how he held himself captive day after day.
The sunset rays had darkened further, and Zhou Cunqu told Qiu Xuemei: “I shut myself up for two years. Initially, it was because I was unwilling to face the outside world. Later, it was because I had gotten used to it and became afraid of going out. It was then that Zhong Qiuyan showed up. Auntie, there was a time when I had recurring dreams of jumping into the same lake from the same spot that my childhood friend did. When I jumped down, there was nothing but endless water. No plants of any kind. And I slowly sank further and further. I’d feel exhausted every time I woke up. Even now, I’d still get that dream. But the difference is that now I can say to my dream self, hey, everything will be ok after you wake up. Zhong Qiuyan will be next to you after you wake up.
Xuemei cried beside him. She stayed silent for a while before suddenly lifting her head and sighing. She lightly said, “Words, fate. Hearing the same exact story twice, how can that not be fate?”
She turned her head and looked at the cabinet, at the picture of Liu Xiaoying placed atop it.
Zhou Qiuyan heard that Qiu Xuemei had come to visit Zhou Cunqu and hurriedly swapped shifts and rushed home. When he pushed open the door, he saw Xuemei, who had dragged Cunqu to sit beside her at the dining table and drink lychee wine together. The wine wasn’t high in alcohol content, but Cunqu hadn’t drank much in recent years. He was already inebriated after just two cups and was nodding his head to anything Xuemei said.
Qiuyan walked over and grabbed Cunqu, frowning as he rebuked: “Qiu Xuemei, stop tormenting him already. Look at how drunk he is.”
Xuemei was also a bit tipsy, and she pointed her finger at Qiuyan and scolded: “You, yes, you! Ever since giving birth to you, I haven’t been able to stop worrying. I’m already this age. I'm not well-read, yet I’ve been running around the city looking for any of those LBTQ+ parents' meetups to gain more understanding. It’s almost like I owed you ever since I birthed you.”
She stood up and gave Qiuyan a sturdy smack on the head. Qiuyan yelped, and Cunqu laughed with squinted eyes.
Before Zhong Baochen arrived to drag Xuemei back home, she sat there for half an hour complaining about Qiuyan. After she finally left, Qiuyan lifted Cunqun and carried him into the bedroom.
Cunqun lay in the bed, his face flushed red from the alcohol, took off his top, and stretched out a hand to beckon Qiuyan, “Come here.”
Qiuyan obediently moved closer and leaned in to kiss the front of Cunqu’s chest. Cunqu tilted his head up and lightly gasped. They embraced each other and kissed. As Qiuyan stretched out a hand to fetch the things from the nightstand, Cunqu tugged down his underwear and pressed against Qiuyan. “Hurry up, husband.”
Zhong Qiuyan said, “If you call me that one more time, it’s going to be finished before it’s even started.”
It’s not clear whether the drunk Cunqu was doing this intentionally or if he was just not thinking straight, but he kept calling out, “En, husband..”
He got up and straddled Qiuyan’s body, smiling as he said, “I’ll do it myself.”
It was the first time that Qiuyan was able to appreciate this type of scene. Cunqu holding himself up with his arms, moving atop his body. The sounds coming out of his mouth were almost sobs, and when he finally couldn’t hold himself up anymore, he collapsed onto Qiuyan. Qiuyan flipped them over, placing Cunqu onto the bed, and the two pressed against each other, their bodies swaying, rocking, endlessly.
The following morning, Zhong Qiuyan pried open his sealed-shut eyelids and stared blankly at the large ceiling light for a while. It was quite early in the day, and Cunqu had already left for work. When he had freed himself from Qiuyan’s embrace, Qiuyan, in a half-awake state, grabbed him and planted a few kisses on his palm. Cunqu had lightly rubbed his face and said, “I’ll be leaving first.”
Qiuyan got up, yawned, and stretched in the bedroom doorway. Passing by the low cabinet, he paid his respects to Liu Xiaoying and then made his way into the bathroom to freshen up. When he came back out, his phone started ringing from his bedroom. He didn’t run over to grab it; instead, he stared at the box on the dining table. It was a clear box holding an exquisite 3D model of a 2-story shop.
Illuminated by a ceiling lamp, within the blue water of a glass tank, were goldfish fast-asleep amongst the aquatic plants. The sign hanging on the first-floor doorway said Zhong Qiuyan’s Little Restaurant. There was a small Japanese-style door, and two little figures sat on the porch outside the restaurant's windows. The interior of the first floor had a cooking counter combined with the bar top to make the individual seating area. On the second floor, booth seating areas were placed against the wall. The floor was made of cream-colored bricks inlaid with blue-green fragments, and the walls had blue and green as the primary colors to match.
His phone rang nonstop from the bedroom. Qiuyan removed the handwritten note attached to the model. Cunqu had written on the note:
The address of Zhong Qiuyan’s little restaurant is on XXX October Road, just past Breadfruit Street. This location used to be a stir-fry shop; it had been open for over 10 years and saw great business. Recently, the owner wanted to return to his hometown.
As you can see, the walls can’t be covered in light purple floral wallpaper, and there’s also no Baroque-style decor. I designed this myself as a gift for a sincere and kindhearted boy I know. This is an award from me to you.
-> Chapter 27 (END)
When Spring came, Qiuyan swapped to the night shift for some time. He got home after midnight, showered, changed into his pajamas, got under the covers, and planted a kiss on Cunqu’s hair. Cunqu hummed in response, half-asleep, habitually pressed his face into Qiuyan’s embrace and fell back asleep. Cunqu got up for work around nine in the morning. Recently, Qiuyan became passionate about buying matching couple outfits. Cunqu took off his pajamas and took out a sweatshirt from the closet. He pulled it on to try it on. The front of the sweatshirt had some silly-looking English words. It wasn’t Cunqu’s usual style at all.
Qiuyan flopped over in the bed onto his stomach and opened his eyes, complimenting him in a nasal tone: “Looks good.”
And so Cunqu ended up wearing that loose-fitting sweatshirt out the door.
When he entered the office, Shiyuan came out of the break room with a cup of coffee and said she thought a college student had somehow got in. Cunqu was just about to reply when he received a message on his phone. Qiuyan had sent a photo. He was wearing a similar sweatshirt and heading downstairs to A’Shan’s car mechanic shop for a car wash. Cunqu rubbed the few English words on his sweatshirt, didn’t say anything, and sat back down at his workstation.
When Shiyuan passed by his workstation later, she saw what was on his screen and suddenly stopped to ask: “No, but like, how could you take on private work right in front of me? As your boss, my feelings are hurt.”
Cunqu raised his head to look at her and smiled. He said: “I’m designing this for myself; it’s not for sale to anyone.”
Shiyuan pulled over a stool to sit down and look at the design sketch. A complete layout restructuring was done for a narrow two-floor shop. Collapsible windows were installed on the walls beside the shop’s doors, and a little porch made of wood was built right outside the windows. The second floor's windows were removed and were instead half-covered by a glass aquarium. Cunqu tapped against the aquarium with his tablet pen and said it would definitely be beautiful from afar when lit up at night.
Shiyuan asked: “And who is this beautiful design meant for?”
Cunqu twirled his pen and smiled without replying.
In the afternoon, temperatures started to rise. After his lunch break, Cunqu took off his sweatshirt. He was wearing a waffle-patterned white long-sleeve shirt on the inside. He finished the coffee on his desk and headed out the door after letting Shiyuan know.
The weather that afternoon felt a bit like summer had set in early. Unheeding of the season, the temperature rose all the way to 30 Celsius. Qiuyan and A'Shan finished their lunch and sat together in front of the neighborhood clinic across from the car mechanic shop to chat for a bit. A’Shan’s wife was a server at a fast-food restaurant and recently got pregnant. A’Shan said: “Because I keep telling her ‘be careful, be careful’ every day, she decided that our baby’s nickname will be ‘Xiao Xin’[1]”
Qiuyan rested his head against his palm and said: “It sounds pretty nice.”
A’Shan asked him: “Our godmother[2] hasn’t urged you to find a partner? I feel like, with her personality, she must have started bombarding you a long time ago.”
Qiuyan said: “Qiu Xuemei was just talking about this yesterday when she called me.”
Xuemei had devoted her efforts to standing before the village entrance with her friends, spreading the word that Qiuyan was optimistic, hardworking, and good at caring for people and that he was the best option for a husband. Soon, one of her friends said that there was a suitable choice. So Xuemei joyfully called Qiuyan yesterday to tell him: “That girl’s around your age. She’s also working in the city. She’s a hotel manager, and I feel like you guys are pretty suitable. I’ll send you a photo.”
Qiuyan had just finished the first round of bus driving that night. He sat under the shade of a tree and took a sip of water, replying: “I’m not interested.”
Xuemei argued noisily: “How would you know before meeting her? I’ve never pushed you before, but now you’re getting older…”
Qiuyan laughed and said to A’Shan: “Then I asked her if I said I was interested in someone who had returned from studying at a top university abroad, had a gentle personality, was very capable at work, preferably someone who was an architect, would she know anyone like that?”
A’Shan also started laughing. He asked, “What did Qiu Xuemei say?”
Qiuyan replied: “Qiu Xuemei said I was ill.”
The two of them looked at each other and laughed.
A’Shan got back up to return to work, and Qiuyan got into his car to head back home. He lowered the AC in the car by a degree. When he was almost at Breadfruit Street, he was briefly distracted by the thick foliage of the Plane trees above. He returned to himself, flicked on his turn signal, and suddenly spotted Cunqu standing by a shop on the left side of the street. Next to Cunqu stood a man wearing a suit. The two of them were talking about something, their heads lowered.
Qiuyan stopped his car and rolled down his window. He called Cunqu and asked: “Ge, what are you doing?”
Cunqu held his phone and glanced at the man beside him, replying: “Nothing in particular. I’m still working at the office.”
Qiuyan paused. He held his phone and didn’t say anything. Cunqu said: “What’s wrong?”
Qiuyan leaned back against his car seat and suddenly smiled, saying: “Ge, if you lie to me, I will be hurt. I see you.”
Cunqu lifted his head and looked left and right for him. He met Qiuyan’s gaze from the car window.
--
After Qiu Xuemei was hung up on by Qiuyan yesterday, her stubbornness flared up. She decided to drive her truck into the city today. She stopped the truck, wiped away the sweat on her forehead with a napkin, and jumped down. The ‘Double Yolk Egg’ Grandpas had moved their chairs and table to be in the shade and were playing Go. One of them said: “The one living on the fifth floor chased the other upstairs. Did they have an argument?” “Had an argument.”
“What did they argue about? Tell us about it.” “Right, they don’t even tell us.”
Cunqu had never been athletic, and after chasing Qiuyan up the stairs, he leaned against the doorway, panting. He grabbed the sleeve of Qiuyan’s sweatshirt and said through his breaths: “If you run a few more steps, I’m about to have a sudden death.”
This was the first time Qiuyan faced Cunqu with a cold expression. He didn’t reply to him. Cunqu swung Qiuyan’s sleeve and said: “Pour a glass of water for me.”
Qiuyan, with a cold expression, poured him a glass of water and, still with a cold expression, walked over and handed it to Cunqu. Cunqu drank half the glass of water and leaned against the wall. He hooked Qiuyan’s finger and asked: “You really won’t talk to me?”
Cunqu embraced Qiuyan’s waist and pressed himself against him. His heart was still beating extremely fast. Cunqu, still a bit breathy, bit Qiuyan’s chin and lightly said: “Sorry. I’m sorry, Dudu.”
Qiuyan grumbled: “So why did you lie?”
Cunqu held his face and said: “I’m sorry. I was outside to wrap up some matters. The person beside me was a real estate agent.” Cunqu kissed Qiuyan’s nose. Qiuyan asked: “Why do you need a real estate agent?”
Cunqu didn’t reply and leaned in to kiss Qiuyan’s mouth. Qiuyan ducked to the side and scolded: “You’re trying to avoid answering.”
Cunqu slid his hands underneath Qiuyan’s sweatshirt and stroked his waist. Qiuyan shivered and was just about to say something when Cunqu kissed him on the lips.
When Xuemei arrived upstairs, she saw the fifth-floor door cracked open. Qiuyan had pressed Cunqu against the wall and was kissing him. Cunqu slipped his tongue inside to wrap around Qiuyan’s tongue. The two of them kissed as if they were fighting. After a while, they stopped. Qiuyan zoned out briefly and mumbled: “Wait, something isn’t right. What were we just talking about?”
Cunqu couldn’t help but laugh out loud. He patted his cheeks and asked: “Let’s go out for dinner, ok? Shi Shiyuan recommended a vegetarian restaurant to me.”
Qiuyan mumbled something as he turned to look outside the door. His eyes were suddenly blown wide open, and he instinctively shut the door closed.
-> Chapter 26
Footnotes
[1] 小(Xiao)心(Xin). It means “be careful,” but because it also literally means “little heart” it’s also a fitting nickname.
[2] He’s referring to Qiuyan’s mom Qiu Xuemei lol. Calling her his 干妈 which means adoptive/godmother is probably because their relationship is pretty similar to mother-son given how he grew up so closely with Qiuyan.
After New Year’s, Da Yu and A’Shan brought a bunch of fresh vegetables to Qin Qin Homeland to find Zhong Qiuyan and Zhou Cunqu for a meal together. When they arrived at the Breadfruit Street crosswalk, they saw a Mini Cooper crookedly squeezed into an alley by the convenience store. The electric bikes in the alley noisily honked. The cars outside the alley that were rushing to get through the alley were also honking their horns.
Zhong Qiuyan finally got out of the passenger’s seat. He opened the driver-side door and said, “Get down, big bro.”
Zhou Cunqu got out of the car, rubbed his nose, and stood at the alley entrance, watching Qiuyan back the car out.
During dinner, Cunqu said Shi Shuyuan lent him a car after New Year’s. He hadn’t driven in over two years and was unfamiliar with the road conditions of the urban areas. Qiuyan had been accompanying him on the road these couple of days, teaching him how to drive. Qiuyan commented that the way Cunqu, wearing a pair of near-sighted glasses, drove was extremely like how old men hunch over a board of Chinese Chess and waver and hesitate over pieces with trembling hands. On their way back to Breadfruit Street, he somehow managed to turn into an alleyway while hesitating and then got stuck there.
After a few days, Qiuyan excitedly said to Da Yu: “Ay, I’m telling you I’m impressive. Today, Cunqu was able to drive to work on his own. I watched for a bit. He was pretty decent, only slower than other people by ten or so minutes. Pretty good.”
Da Yu said from the other end of the phone: “Yes, truly impressive. Cunqu-ge can even breathe while driving a car.”
Cunqu sneezed a few times in a row while getting out of the car to lock it. He walked upstairs to his office. The conference room next door already had the 3D model of their current project placed on the table. After a bit, Shi Shiyuan asked him to come to the conference room to discuss things together. Cunqu took off his outer coat and sat down in the seat across from the client. When he spoke to the client, Shiyuan watched him and remembered the times when they worked together in the past. Cunqu was one of those highly independent people. His strongest forte was clenching his teeth and going heads-down on his work. Sometimes, when Shiyuan passed by his workstation, she would see him neurotically pressing down the curled-up edge of a sticky note on the design file. They would often go to an izakaya[1] close to their work building to eat and drink. Cunqu was quite good at drinking; he could sit in the booth pouring and drinking alone for a long time. When they dispersed, he would hold his coat and go to the bathroom to throw it all up. When he came out, Shiyuan had asked him in Chinese if he felt sick. Cunqu leaned against the doorframe of the izakaya, looked at her with vacant eyes, and still responded in English: “Oh, turns out you’re also Chinese.”
Even after working together for that long, he didn’t even realize that Shiyuan was Chinese, and even happened to be from the same place as him. He was that type of person.
But after talking with the client that day, Shiyuan and Cunqu headed to the smoking corner outside the high-rise building. Cunqu leaned against the wall and started seriously talking about the project again. Shiyuan looked past him to a black SUV that had just parked in front of the building entrance. Qiuyan carried a pink pig bento bag as he ran over, waving towards Cunqu as he ran. Cunqu lowered his head, let out a laugh, and snuffed out the cigarette. When Qiuyan arrived in front of him, he suddenly unzipped his jacket and wrapped Cunqu entirely in his jacket, yelling: “How can you head outside without wearing a jacket? Your hands are cold. Your ears are cold. Your little face is cold…”
Cunqu struggled a few times to no avail. He wanted to interrupt him to say that he just wanted to have a quick smoke before heading back inside; he wouldn’t be outside for long. Qiuyan already walked towards the car while still embracing Cunqu, continuing to speak while he walked: “I’m off today, so I made you a love bento for lunch. Are you touched? If you’re touched, please press 1. If your heart is moved, please press 2. If you’re going to be allergic to romance again, then please shut up.”
Cunqu almost doubled over from laughter. He laughed for quite a while, and when he turned around, he saw Shiyuan squinting her eyes, watching them as if she was watching little animals at the zoo.
Afterward, whenever Shiyuan saw Qiuyan, she would tell Cunqu that his little pink pig was there again. Cunqu pretended to angrily rebuke: “Don’t call him that.”
Shiyuan laughed as she said: “It’s quite nice. He seems very carefree and worry-free.”
She and Cunqu leaned against the overhead walkway of the high-rise, watching the carefree and worry-free Qiuyan lock the car at the foot of the building and swing the keys around his finger as he headed towards the doors to find Cunqu. The keys spun and spun and flew out of his hand, and he hurriedly ran around, trying to find where they landed. The two on the overhead walkway laughed as they watched.
That day, after Qiuyan drove Cunqu home and walked up to the fifth floor of Qin Qin Homeland, Da Yu and A’Shan were already waiting outside their door with several plastic bags. Qiuyan unlocked his door as he said: “How nice. My friends came to mooch off dinner again. The two-person world of ge and I are not important at all.”
Da Yu and A’shan acted like they didn’t hear the blatant sarcasm and walked inside with great familiarity to change their shoes, place down their bags, open the cabinets to grab snacks and pay their respects to Liu Xiaoying.
That day, A’Shan brought a newly written story for Cunqu to look at. It was a story about a conch and a little boy. One day, a little boy found a sea snail on the beach he frequently played at and brought it home. One night, he placed it close to his ear and discovered that the conch had stored all the sounds from all over the world it encountered as it drifted across the seas. The sounds of whales cresting the ocean surface of the near-equatorial trough[2], the sounds of sailboats near the Pacific coast, the sounds of a girl whispering her secret to the oceans by a pier…The conch became the little boy’s favorite toy. He carried it with him every day.
The little boy in our story was an extremely ordinary person. He’s not smart, he’s not ambitious. He retained kindness and sincerity even after he grew up. But the adult world did not reward kindness and sincerity. When the boy became an adult, he realized that he was the one trapped within the giant conch that was this world.
Cunqu leaned against the balcony and finished reading the story. He said he really liked it.
A’Shan glanced inside the condo. Qiuyan and Da Yu were cooking together in the kitchen. He said: “Ge, back then, I privately discussed with Da Yu that perhaps you had stayed at home for too long and thought it wouldn’t be bad to just find a person to date and ended up finding Zhong Qiuyan. Zhong Qiuyan is quite a simple-minded guy. He wouldn’t even know if he was lied to. But I can tell now. You guys are truly happy together.”
He lowered his head, lit a cigarette, and continued: “Actually before you guys got together, Zhong Qiuyan was quite down for some time. Before becoming a bus driver, ah, he wanted to open a restaurant quite badly. After we graduated high school, I started working, Da Yu messed around for a couple of years, and Zhong Qiuyan studied cooking at a trade school. He made a new friend. I met that friend, too; he was quite a lively and entertaining person. They studied together for three or four years and got along quite well. Later, they said, why not open up a restaurant together? Back then, Zhong Qiuyan was really excited, busying around here and there. They had even found the location. It was near the TV station, used to be a small warehouse, and was quite big in area. They had to put down 3 months' rent as a deposit and pay 6 months upfront. Just the rent alone, they had to pay almost two hundred thousand in one go. That friend suddenly said his mother was extremely sick and couldn’t pay anything, so he asked to borrow from Qiuyan. Qiuyan had previously accompanied him to visit his mother in the hospital, so he believed him and lent him the money like a fool. After lending him the money, the friend disappeared. Afterwards, Qiuyan followed one of his uncles to train to become a bus driver. He never really complained to us about this. He just said that he needed to save up again, that it wasn’t that big of a deal.”
A’Shan said: “After being a bus driver in training for almost a year, we were having a meal together. He said that day, he was sitting in an empty bus, and it was raining quite hard outside. When he drove past a 5-star hotel by the river, he saw that friend dressed in a suit walking out the door, quite high-spirited. Qiuyan said he immediately turned his head and saw the strap handles swinging back and forth inside his bus, and he realized that he felt quite hurt…Before meeting you, that friend paid him back and even wanted to give a bit more as interest. That person did quite well for himself these two years and was already the boss of a small company…”
That day, Qiuyan had just gotten off his shift and driven home in his own car. He was still wearing the short-sleeved uniform of the bus company, and his back was covered in sweat. He was holding a large cup of water in one hand and received the bag of money with his other. Later, he stood outside his apartment building and blanked out for a long time. But after a few days, he called A’Shan and Da Yu and rather happily told them he had gotten his money back, and he had to invite them for a meal.
A’Shan said: “Ge, that’s the type of person he is. He might not be smart, and he might not be ambitious. But he’s still pretty impressive, don’t you think so?” A’Shan smiled at Cunqu.
Qiuyan held an earthenware pot beside the dining table and called them in to eat. When Cunqu turned around, Qiuyan had just placed the pot down. Cunqu kept staring at him, and Qiuyan silently mouthed: Why are you staring at me?
Cunqu mouthed back: I like to.
Separated by the living room, they smiled towards each other.
-> Chapter 25
Footnotes
[1] If you remember, Cunqu worked in a Japanese firm in the past. Izakayas (kind of like a pub?) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Izakaya were common everywhere there, especially in urban areas, and Japan also has a strong drinking culture after work.
[2] Apparently, there are areas of the sea without any wind called the Intertropical Convergence Zone. And “When it lies near the geographic Equator, it is called the near-equatorial trough.” https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Intertropical_Convergence_Zone
t/n: This starts off with a flashback from when Xiaoying was writing the letter than Cunqu read in the last chapter. This was a while ago, even before the start of the novel
The rain kept pouring. After writing the letter, Liu Xiaoying finally raised her head and realized how dim the living room was. Because her head hurt, she sat for a long time at her desk, propping up her forehead with her hand, blankly staring out the sheets of rain outside her window. Cunqu came outside once with his water glass. Xiaoying watched him pour the water, then slowly walked in his flip-flops back to his room.
The bedroom door shut. Who knew when it would next open?
That day, Xiaoying wanted to head downstairs to ask an old friend about some matters. When she arrived at the Breadfruit Street crosswalk, she stood for a bit at a loss, forgetting what direction she needed to go in. Holding a large dark blue umbrella, she stopped at the crosswalk. There was a fortune-telling stand following the divination style of ‘Ma Qian Ke’[1] set up in front of the convenience store. A chubby woman sat down by the old fortune teller in front of Xiaoying, who came to a stop.
The woman asked: “How much for one round of fortune-telling?”
The old man asked: “What do you want to ask?”
The woman propped up her head on her hand and said: “I have a son. He has a good personality and is pretty optimistic; it’s just that he’s never been good at studying ever since he was little. He said before that he wanted to open a restaurant, but that didn’t pan out, and now he’s a bus driver. In middle school, his teacher told me that he had to sit by himself in the corner by the window because he was too rowdy. But he somehow found a way to loosen the window pane. The teacher enthusiastically taught the class, and he enthusiastically loosened the window and ended up removing the whole window…”
Opening a singular eye that resembled a glass marble, the old man interrupted her: “So what do you want to ask?”
The woman “Oh”-ed and replied: “Aiya, I just wanted to ask about his fate in marriage. His eight characters aren’t bad, and he’s quite handsome too. As I was saying, after he took off that window, all the students in the last row were freezing. The teacher called me to school to talk about this. Things like this happen pretty often. His dad and I both know that this rascal isn’t the type to have a bright future. But the girls these days, ah, they’ve gotten more picky. Recently, right, one of my sisters[2] from a neighboring village put me in contact with one. When she heard that my son’s educational background wasn’t great and that he was a bus driver, she said never mind. And then, two days ago, my sister from a neighboring village of a neighboring village said that she had a cousin whose daughter was around the same age as my son. But then….And then one of my other sisters….“
The fortune-teller old man couldn’t help but interrupt her again: “That’s enough, spin it.”
The woman “Oh”-ed again, and spun the plate before the old man. At this point, Xiaoying had already sat down next to the woman while holding her umbrella. The old man fiddled with the fortune-telling sticks, rolled his eyes, and said: “Don’t worry. His fate in marriage can’t be bad.”
The woman leaned in, especially happy, and asked: “What kind of person is it?”
The old man suddenly turned his remaining eye, which still had normal vision, to Xiaoying. Xiaoying muttered: “Is this actually accurate?”
Raindrops continuously slid down from the roof of the convenience store. The woman took Xiaoying’s large umbrella and held it over the two of them. The old man pushed the plate and asked: “What do you want to ask?”
Xiaoying touched the jade bracelet on her left wrist, and hesitantly looked and the two others. She said: “I want to ask about my grandson. He…”
Xiaoying didn’t continue speaking. She then reached forward and spun the plate. The moment the old man started to fiddle with his fortune sticks, Xiaoying stood up to leave. The woman tugged at her and said: “Hey big sister[3], he hasn’t even said anything yet.”
The old man drew a stick and said: “Don’t be anxious about his affairs. There will soon be a turning point.”
Xiaoying smiled and politely retrieved the umbrella from the woman’s hands. She stepped out and walked towards the other side of the convenience store in a bit of a haze. The woman suddenly ran up to her and asked: “Big sister, have you eaten? Why don’t I treat you to a meal?”
That day, Xiaoying ended up following this woman into a stirfry stall on the side of the street. While waiting for the dishes to come out, the two sat across from each other and blankly stared out the window at the shop signboard being loudly blown around by the wind. The woman pointed at a pickup truck on the side of the street and said: “I came into the city today to deliver some goods. My husband’s waist is hurting, and he can’t get out of bed, so I came alone.” She rubbed her calloused hands and said: “Big sister. You and I are strangers. So if you have something in your heart that you want to get out, and you don’t mind, then you can talk to me. I’m big-hearted and easy-going. I might even forget tomorrow. I won’t tell anyone else.”
Xiaoying looked at her. The waiter placed a large bowl of egg drop soup on the table. The woman hurried to pour a bowl for Xiaoying. Later, several plates of vegetables and fish filled up the table. The woman didn’t ask her anything, only chatting about the weather these days as they ate.
When it was about to be noon, the stirfry stall was packed with regulars. The floor was slippery from all the rainwater from umbrellas. Xiaoying raised her head from the midst of the hot dishes and said: “My grandson. He hasn’t gone out of the house in two years.”
The woman, who was just chewing a piece of meat, paused. Xiaoying continued: “Except for eating and drinking water, he rarely even comes out of his bedroom. One day in the early months of last year, I woke up in the middle of the night and came out of my room to take a look. He was sitting by himself on the balcony, smoking one cigarette after another. After smoking, he stood up and stared outside. At that moment, I had the feeling that maybe he had the urge to just jump down. The next day, I asked him. And I couldn’t help but cry when I asked him. He just sat there. He looked at his bowl of rice, then at me, and he said: ‘Sorry, grandma.’ I said he didn’t need to be sorry, but he absolutely could not do such a thing in grandma’s house. If he did, grandma wouldn’t be able to handle it. That night, I had a dream. I dreamt that my late husband said to me: 'Xiaoying, you can come over now,' and I said I don’t dare to come over just yet…”
Xiaoying turned and looked out of the window. Tearing up, she said: “I always felt like, the two of us, living in one household. He’s trying hard to keep going for my sake. And I’m trying hard to keep going for his sake. But this past year, I feel increasingly like I’m falling short. I feel like the old man will come and pick me up soon…”
When she came back to herself, the person across the table was crying even harder than she was. The woman messily wiped away her tears and waved the waiter over to close the check.
They shared the umbrella and walked out of the stiryfry stall. The woman ran to her truck, grabbed a small pot of China Rose, and shoved it into Xiaoying’s arms. She smiled as she said: “Big sister, didn’t that fortune teller old man from earlier say your grandson’s matters will soon turn for the better? You just wait. Soon, things will turn for the better.”
Xiaoying held the large umbrella with her left hand and a pot of orange-pinkish China Rose with her right as she stood at the crosswalk. The woman climbed onto her pickup truck and waved towards her, saying: “See you.”
--
Qiu Xuemei examined the family photo taken at Xiaoying’s eightieth birthday celebration.
Not long after finishing the paperwork to transfer ownership of Xiaoying’s place, Zhong Qiuyan ended the lease on his rental apartment and officially moved in with Zhou Cunqu. When Xuemei was delivering goods that day, she wanted to come over and bring some strawberries to Qiuyan. Qiuyan sandwiched his phone between his shoulder and ear and replied while carrying things: “I don’t live in the same place anymore.”
When Xuemei arrived at the fifth floor of the Qin Qin Homeland community’s Building No.3, Qiuyan and Cunqu were in the middle of slowly moving the books in Cunqu’s room to the side and onto two bookshelves. The room suddenly felt a lot more spacious. A layer of dust covered the floor, and imprints of the piles of books could be seen. After sweeping and mopping the floor, there was nothing left. It was as if a room where books were overgrown like wild grass never existed in this world. They placed a rug with an irregular geometric design that they bought together onto the space they cleared out. They then put a small coffee-color sofa where you could lay down and read books next to the bookshelves.
They busied all the way until dusk. Xuemei also didn’t want to rest, so she rolled up her sleeves and helped them organize the living room. Xiaoying really liked hoarding things, and a bunch of odd objects were stuffed in the various cabinets of the living room. When Qiuyan fished out over fifty matchboxes from the drawer in the TV stand, he yelled out: “Did Xiaoying plan to go out and sell these? Wear a red cape and stand outside the Qin Qin Homeland community gates telling people that the moment they struck a match, they could see a warm oven, a fragrant roast duck…”[4]
Cunqu found a large bag of buttons at the bottom of a low cabinet. Xiaoying had collected a lot of beautiful buttons. He used plastic boxes to store them by type, and brought them into Xiaoying’s bedroom.
On top of the low cabinet was a black and white photo of Xiaoying when she was around forty years old. She had two pigtails and was wearing a white blouse. Qiuyan used the matchboxes that Xiaoying left behind to light two sticks of incense and held them in his hands: “Second grandma, I’m letting you know that I’ve officially moved in. Don’t forget what you promised me.”[5]
Then he placed two rows of AD-brand milk[6] as offerings because Xiaoying had a phase where she really liked drinking these. He clasped his hands together, bowed to pay his respects, and said: “Let me know through a dream[7] if it’s not enough.”
Xuemei stood behind him and stared at the family photo. She felt like the face in the middle was very familiar, but she couldn’t recall where she’d seen it. She shivered, wrapped her jacket tightly around herself, and suddenly yelled: “Aiya, Dudu, I was too occupied and forgot that I left your dad behind at the client. I have to go now!”
She left two boxes of blueberries and hurriedly ran down the stairs.
That day, Qiuyan and Cunqu cooked a table’s worth of dishes together to celebrate moving in together. They toasted under the warm yellow ceiling light. The fifth floor of Qin Qin Homeland’s Building No.3 finally had new residents after thirty-some years. They would give the mildew-covered walls a new coat of paint, switch out the peeling sofa, and cover the dining table with a warm yellow tablecloth and some transparent coasters. When Qiuyan wanted to kiss Cunqu in the living room, he would run over to Xiaoying’s photo and turn it around, then slide back onto the sofa and kiss Cunqu. And Cunqu would laugh and kiss him back.
On the eve of the Lunar New Year that year, Qiuyan had to return to his family village to celebrate New Year’s. Cunqu stayed behind by himself in the Qin Qin Homeland community. He made a few dishes for himself and opened a bottle of red wine. Raising a glass to Xiaoying’s photo, he said: “Grandma, Happy New Year’s.”
Qiuyan would send him a text message every then and now, howling in grief: How could I leave behind our family’s darling to cross the new year by himself. I’m less than an animal.
Cunqu replied: Be good and go enjoy the New Year’s Eve dinner.
He walked over to turn on the TV in the living room. But for some reason, ever since Xiaoying passed, the TV would often act up.
During the last two New Year’s, Xiaoying would be picked up and have a family meal with her four children. Before she left, she would always fill the table with delicious dishes and knock on Cunqu’s door, saying: “Grandma will bring back some good food for you.”
Cunqu didn’t eat much in general. Back then, he practically forgot it was New Year’s Eve and that the next day would be a new year. He would only head out of his room when thirsty to drink some water, be startled by the fireworks outside his window, and stare at the bustle outside in a daze.
This year, Qiuyan started talking about this very early on, repeatedly asking him if he wanted to go back with him to the Zhong family village to have a New Year’s Eve meal. Cunqu shook his head. He felt like it would be a bit awkward. So Qiuyan went by himself in the day and then drove quickly back to the city after midnight.
Cunqu had just finished showering and was sitting cross-legged in the living room reading an easily digestible short story collection. Qiuyan opened the door with his keys. With the wintry air clinging to his body, he spoke as he took off his shoes: “I’m about to freeze to death.”
Cunqu turned to look at him. Qiuyan removed his coat, slid down onto the sofa, and opened his arms: “Hurry, hug me.”
Cunqu hugged him. Qiuyan said: “Our first encounter in this new year. Did you miss me?”
Cunqu replied: “You just left this morning.”
Qiuyan argued back: “You’re really allergic to romance, Zhou Cunqu.”
Cunqu laughed.
After Qiuyan fixed the TV, they snuggled against each other and watched TV for a while. Cunqu later fell asleep on the couch. When he woke, the living room lights were dim, and no one was beside him. A blanket covered his body. The time was two o’clock in the morning, the time of day when he used to come out of his bedroom to aimlessly walk around. There were two boxes of Chocomonts on the coffee table. He sat upright in a panic and looked around for Qiuyan. A bit anxious, he pushed open the bedroom and bathroom doors.
He turned his head and suddenly spotted Qiuyan holding the tea tin, leaning against the balcony banister and watching the fireworks in the distance. Cunqu, wrapped in a blanket, walked over and hugged him from behind, reaching for the cigarette from Qiuyan’s hands and taking a drag from it. The end of the cigarette was like a small red star in the foggy dark blue of the nighttime air. Cunqu tilted his head back and breathed out the smoke towards the skies.
Qiuyan turned around and brushed the back of his hand against Cunqu’s face. Smiling, he said: “Happy New Year’s.”
Cunqu hugged Qiuyan even tighter and placed his head on his shoulder. He said lightly, “Happy New Year’s.”
Footnotes
[1] 马前课 (translates literally to something like ‘Divinations before the horse”, authored by the famous Zhuge Liang https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zhuge_Liang during the Three Kingdoms period.
[2] Not blood-related, just a close female friend.
[3] Common address to refer to a woman who’s older than you. It’s a common and polite address, but definitely don’t use this towards women who might be the same age or younger than you lol.
[4] Reference to a famous Hans Christian Anderson fairytale https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Little_Match_Girl
[5] I think this is a reference to Chapter 16, when Xiaoying went to Qiuyan's workplace to confront him about his relationship with Cunqu. And she said to him: “One day, when Second Grandma goes up to the sky, she will protect you both. Grandma is the type of person who is true to her words.”
[6] Very popular brand of milk in China. It’s fortified with calcium and shelf-stable.
[7] Widely-shared superstition that the deceased can send messages/entrust you with matters through the form of a dream
Zhou Cunqu decided to help out Shi Shiyuan for a bit to get a feel for working. On the first day of work, Zhong Qiuyan drove Cunqu to the building where Shiyuan’s office was located. As Cunqu was getting out of the car holding his laptop bag, Qiuyan sighed and said: “I feel a bit uneasy. It’s a little like when a child leaves home to go to school.”
Cunqu laughed as he replied: “Dad, drive carefully.”
He had just arrived at the office when Qiuyan texted him, saying, “If you’re unhappy at kindergarten, make sure to call Dad. Dad will come pick you up.”
Cunqu started laughing while looking down at the screen. Shiyuan snapped her fingers before him and said: “Stop dumbly standing there. I’m a capitalist. I don’t allow my employees to slack off.”
Cunqu sat down at the desk that was cleared out for him. He entered the work mentality faster than he thought he would. In the morning, he met with Shiyuan’s team. After clarifying the details of his assigned project, he immediately got started. During lunch, Shiyuan asked him how he was adjusting.
Cunqu replied, “Pretty well.” Back then, when he sat in his office facing two monitors and one laptop, the heat was similarly cranked up to high. He felt like a piece of dried potato that had been overbaked and was starting to curl up on itself, losing the last bit of moisture. He no longer felt that way. It was still easy to be sapped of energy and want to rest after working for a while. So he would get up and stand for a bit in the break room.
The break room is a small area sectioned by 3 tea-colored glass walls. There were two sets of tables and chairs placed within. No one talked much in the cubicle setup. The floor was covered in a thin carpet. A sanitation worker was watering a few large potted plants to the side. Only then did Cunqu realize he was no longer in the pile of books on the fifth floor of Building No.3 of the Qin Qin Homeland community. He had truly walked out into the working society again.
It was already around 7pm that night after getting off work. Cunqu left the building, and Qiuyan’s car was parked outside. When Cunqu sat down on the passenger’s seat, Qiuyan dug out a box of Chocomonts and tossed it onto Cunqu’s lap. He said, “A reward for our family’s baby.”
Cunqu felt happy as if he had just won a reward. As Qiuyan was driving home, he had already opened the packaging and started eating. Qiuyan said: “Later, Liu Xiaoying’s bound to say that you aren’t properly eating real food and only eat snacks.”
Cunqu smiled and stuffed a piece of Chocomont into Qiuyan’s mouth as well.
Maybe because going to work tired Cunqu out, he ate a lot at dinner and slept deeply at night. Xiaoying sat on the couch, soaking her feet while watching Cunqu and Qiuyan sit eating dinner at that small square dining table. Qiuyan would eat a bit, then pass a piece of meat to Cunqu out of habit. They sat under the warm yellow light from the ceiling light, chatting about whatever, and slowly ate their meal.
Xiaoying looked around at the slightly worn-down house that was basically as old as her. Six years ago, the pipes of the sixth-floor residence leaked water and caused two large mildew spots to form on her ceiling. Her four children had asked her if she wanted to renovate. Xiaoying thought back then, so what if they renovated and everything was bright and new again. She liked living in this place piled with her belongings, a place so old it was shedding.
All the accomplishments in her life were placed in the living room. A low cabinet with trophies and certificates. A family photo taken at her eightieth birthday. This was the full life that Liu Xiaoying lived.
One month later, Cunqu accompanied Shuyan to meet a client for the first time. He got off early and went back home. When he entered the door, he noticed that there weren’t any sounds coming from the kitchen. The round electric rice cooker was also empty. Cunqu called out: “Grandma?” No one answered him.
Cunqu opened Xiaoying’s bedroom door. This morning, both Qiuyan and he hurriedly left for work. Neither had noticed that Xiaoying didn’t go out for her morning exercises. She had continued sleeping in her bed and quietly and peacefully passed away. Cunqu stood beside the bed and watched his grandma, whose eyes were shut. She looked just as if she was still in a deep sleep.
Two days later, when organizing the belongings she left behind, Cunqu found in Xiaoying’s desk drawer a letter that had been written for him very early on. Liu Xiaoying had written:
Cunqu, if you are reading this letter, then doesn’t it mean that Grandma had gone on to see your Grandpa? These two years, Grandma lived rather happily, and this is the truth. I accompanied you, but didn’t you accompany me all the same? Your youngest aunt always said I was biased towards you. But that’s not the case. Cunqu, that day, it wouldn’t matter which of my grandchildren sat outside my building. I would have the exact same attitude. I can only do so much. These couple of days, I’d always recall the time when you lived here when you were little. Your Grandpa, carrying me with his bicycle, stopped below the building, and you would lean out from the balcony and yell, “Grandma, Grandpa!” Then you would crouch down, hide away, preventing us from finding you. But I found you no matter what. It didn’t matter whether you hid behind the curtains, inside the bathroom, or inside the wardrobe. At that moment, you’d always yell loudly with surprise, then pounce onto me while laughing. I like seeing you laugh.
Cunqu, I wrote my will. After I pass away, this house is for you. It doesn’t matter if they call me biased or not. I’m already dead; I don’t need to care about them. And the bank cards you gave me before, they’re all inside a small jewelry box in Grandma’s wardrobe. I’ve never touched the money inside.
My baby grandson, live well in Grandma’s house. That way, Grandma can find you.
Liu Xiaoying.
Cunqu sat on the patio recliner, clutching this letter in his hand. He saw the tea jar that had been cleaned spotlessly by his hand. He kept staring out from the patio. Just a few days ago, Xiaoying was leaning against the railing with him, saying: “Once the construction finishes at the residential community up front, the housing price there will be very high. I was thinking that a dwelling is just a dwelling in the end. I live quite comfortably inside my old little place…”
In the family photo, Xiaoying wore a rose-red dress and looked at the camera with her legs placed together. She was used to being a teacher. When she wasn’t smiling, she gave off a stern feeling. Cunqu stood up, leaned against the patio railing, and looked down. Over ten years ago, Qi Wenqian rode home on a crickety bicycle with Xiaoying sitting in the back. They came to a stop at the bottom of the building while arguing about something or the other.
Cunqu’s tears fell down.
Qi Wenqian grumbled: “Is it raining?” Xiaoying angrily replied: “Let’s hurry home and bring the clothes inside.”
Table of Contents and Synopsis
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Chapter 21: Wild Onions Fried Rice III
They stayed at the Zhong family village for three or four days. And Qiu Xuemei happily found new fresh vegetables to cook meals with during those three or four days. The night before they planned to leave, Qiuyan went to help Zhong Baochen repair something after dinner. Cunqu sat on the daybed in the front yard and wore Qiuyan’s corduroy jacket as he enjoyed the evening breeze.
Xuemei sat down beside him and grabbed his hands to examine for a bit. She said, “You’re still too skinny. Like you have never had a full meal before. It’s not like that, right?”
Cunqu smiled. It’s not like he couldn’t afford a full meal; he just couldn’t eat. There was a period where even eating was painful. Xuemei flipped her chubby palm back and forth, saying: “Maybe I am too easy-going. But Qiuyan is just like me; he never takes anything seriously. He also never mentions whether he’s living well in the city. Every time he comes back, he’s always the same old careless self. A bus driver isn’t an easy job, but if he thinks it’s fine…”
Xuemei asked Cunqu: “Do you know if he’s living well?”
Cunqu looked back at her.
As they were driving back the following day, Qiuyan asked Cunqu: “I forgot to ask, what did Xuemei say to you last night? You guys talked for half a day.”
Cunqu replied: “Aunty said that she’s put in a lot of effort to lose weight, but in the end, she gains more and more weight like a balloon. Then she started crying.”
Qiuyan laughed, saying: “She tries to lose weight at the same time she eats everything.”
When they returned to the Qin Qin Homeland residential community, Liu Xiaoying was already home. She had just showered and was watching the morning news on the TV by herself. Qiuyan rushed into Cunqu’s room, hurriedly changed into his work uniform, and then went downstairs to drive to work. Before heading out, he kissed Cunqu’s cheek and said: “Be good at home~”
Cunqu waved at him.
Maybe it was because he was fatigued from driving back early from the village, but Qiuyan couldn’t focus well that day. As he was driving, a car suddenly appeared from nowhere in front of the bus. He urgently stepped on the brakes. All the passengers on the bus swayed forward from the momentum. A few who stood near the front swore and complained.
Later, near dusk, Qiuyan got into an argument with a passenger. He rarely opened his mouth when passengers yelled at him. The rules forbade it, and Qiuyan wasn’t usually a hot-tempered person. But his temper rushed up that day, and he argued back from his driver’s seat. Because they were now both yelling at each other, this matter became serious. The passenger reported him, so he had to pay a fine and file a self-review report with leadership. Therefore, that day, Qiuyan didn’t drive home until very late.
When he parked his car outside of Qin Qin Homeland’s Building No.3, Cunqu was still sitting at the “Double Yolk Egg” Grandpas’ chairs, waiting for him to have dinner. Cunqu said as he walked behind him that today, Grandpa Huang Jr sprained his ankle as he walked down the stairs, fell, and was taken to the hospital by an ambulance. Qiuyan responded. When they reached the fifth floor, Cunqu pinched the back of Qiuyan’s hand and asked: “You’re not happy today?”
Qiuyan turned around and embraced Cunqu’s waist as he said: “I feel so wronged.”
Cunqu rubbed his cheek, asking: “Who bullied our Dudu?”
Cunqu told him what happened that day as the two hugged outside the door. Xiaoying finally opened the door to head out and try to look for them. The one indoors and the two outdoors both startled. Xiaoying rubbed her chest and said: “I’m going to pass out. I’m going to pass out again.”
Qiuyan held her and said: “Don’t pass out. Don’t scare people, ah.”
Xiaoying angrily scolded: “It’s the two of you that’s scaring people! Not coming in to eat, all you two do all day is kiss kiss. Whenever you see each other, you’re like, like, two gummy worms stuck together. Honestly.”
Cunqu, blushing, laughed out loud. Qiuyan argued: “You’re just jealous.”
Xiaoying placed her hands on her hips and said: “I’m jealous of you? When I was dating, you weren’t even an embryo…”
Cunqu made peace between the two of them and dragged the two inside.
Before going to bed at night, Qiuyan leaned over to kiss him. Cunqu blocked it and said: “Aunty asked me the other night if you were living well in the city. And I realized I didn’t dare to reply yes or no. Because you don’t tell me whether you are doing well.”
Qiuyan looked at him. Cunqu continued: “You can tell me. I’m an adult as well. You don’t need to be overprotective of me. I’m fine.”
Cunqu said into Qiuyan’s ear: “I also want to protect my little husband.”
Qiuyan fiercely sat upright. “Say that again.”
Cunqu brushed against Qiuyan’s pajamas with his foot, calling out: “Husband.”
Qiuyan took off his clothes and pressed his body against Cunqu. “I want to hear it one more time.”
Cunqu licked his earlobe and lightly said: “Husband.”
--
Cunqu powered on the cell phone he hadn’t used for over two years. He could no longer log in to many of his accounts and didn’t even remember the password for some of the others. His email was also clogged with spam. The only things that he still received month after month were reminder emails from his bank. He logged into a social media application, and messages fluttered in like snowflakes. Cunqu placed his phone on the dining table and looked at the screen filled with red dots. All the connections a person ever makes in the world can be visualized this way.
Cunqu didn’t bother to look at the messages he received from Zhou Ming and Qi Lanxiang. The remaining ones were from friends and coworkers he frequently contacted in the past. A lot of people in the contact list were those who wouldn’t even notice if you suddenly disappeared for two years.
He opened some messages, deleted others, and spent the whole afternoon going through all the built-up messages. Cunqu later told Qiuyan he hadn’t replied to anyone. In the end, he only sent a simple explanation to his coworker and friend, Shi Shuyuan.
Shi Shuyuan replied very quickly: I also quite want to throw away all of this bullshit and disappear from the world. Alright, do you want to meet up and chat?
Cunqu and she decided to meet up over the weekend. Shuyuan had already opened her own workshop in the country. When she arrived, she was wearing a fur coat over a long dress. She energetically pushed the coffee shop door open and walked in from the nearly freezing outside air. Cunqu said: “Isn’t it cloudy today? Are you wearing sunglasses to block the haze?”
Shuyuan yelped: “You! Don’t be all sarcastic as soon as we meet up.”
Cunqu started laughing. They both didn’t know what to say for a bit. Shuyan knocked against the table and said: “After you left back then, I heard about what happened from here and there. You know I’m different from others. In my opinion, even the act of hiding away takes courage. And now, stepping back out requires a different type of courage. What are you thinking now?”
Cunqu took a sip of coffee, then stuck out his tongue, saying, “I’m unused to this taste nowadays.”
He lowered his head and stared at the little vortex in his coffee. After some time, sun rays broke out from the clouds and shone through the window panes to fall beside Cunqu’s hand. Shuyuan mumbled to herself, “Look, it’s sunny now; there’s nothing wrong with me wearing sunglasses…”
Cunqu lifted his head and said with a smile: “Now, I’m living a life that I really, really, want to properly maintain.”
A bit embarrassed, he smiled at Shuyuan.
-> Chapter 22
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T/N: We are approaching the last couple of chapters! (27 is the end) If folks enjoy this story, feel free to leave a rating/review on Novelupdates~~
Table of Contents and Synopsis
<- Chapter 19
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Chapter 20: Wild Onions Fried Rice II
Zhou Cunqu realized that throughout their relationship, Zhong Qiuyan always listened to Cunqu talk about his matters but never really talked about himself. Everything Cunqu knew came from things Da Yu and A’Shan said. After the Zhong family of three finished eating and Qiuyan brought him to the woods to play, he casually mentioned that Zhong Baochen wasn’t his biological father. His biological father had passed away from illness when he wasn’t even one year old. Qiu Xuemei remarried Zhong Baochen later. Qiuyan didn’t know this when he was little. But there were always nosy people in the village who went out of their way to tell him. He was seven or eight years old then. Finding out that his dad wasn’t his biological dad, he was quite at a loss.
At that time, Zhong Baochen was still working at a crematorium. His job wasn’t anything great, and the kids at school often used it to make fun of Qiuyan. There was a period of time when Qiuyan especially didn’t want to go to school. One day. Baochen got home early from work and saw Qiuyan sitting in front of the little shop at the village entrance watching other kids play cards.
Baocheng asked him why he wasn’t in school at this time. Qiuyan didn’t respond. Instead, he stood up and sprinted off toward the creek's bank. Baochen rode a bicycle and chased after him. Qiuyan cried, “It’s you, it’s all because of you.”
When Baocheng caught up to Qiuyan, he grabbed his arm and didn’t let him run off. So Qiuyan hit him and knocked the things he was holding out of his hands. They were the cards that the kids were playing with in front of the shop. Baochen had bought two packs for him. A tad awkwardly, he asked: “Did you want to play with these?”
Qiuyan lowered his head. His tears fell onto the cards on the ground.
--
Qiuyan, hitting the weeds and wildflowers growing out of the ground with a tree branch, said to Cunqu: “Anyways, Zhong Baochen is a pretty good person.”
The two of them wandered around on the mountain for a while. Qiuyan picked some wild onions, saying they were especially fragrant when fried with rice. The two of them returned to the house and placed the onions in the courtyard in passing. When they came back out, Baochen had already cleaned the onions with water and put them on the wooden counter.
Before becoming a bus driver, Qiuyan had studied cooking, so he had a bit of skill. Cunqu stood at the back entrance of the kitchen and watched him fry rice. When Qiu Xuemei walked by, she uttered: “Impressive. The great chef only touches the stove once a year.”
After cooking, the two of them each held a bowl of fried rice and sat down on the daybed[1] in the backyard to eat. Qiuyan asked Cunqu if it tasted good. Cunqu replied: “Very good.”
Qiuyan then asked: “How is it, are you a bit tempted to offer yourself in exchange?”
Cunqun started laughing with rice still stuffed in his mouth.
--
In the evening, Cunqu sat on Qiuyan’s desk and leafed through the sparse number of books on the bookshelf. Qiuyan had gone to help Xuemei apply medicinal ointment. Cunqu took out a novel. The inside had already been torn out by Qiuyan and stuffed with a stack of random cartoon stickers. Cunqu laughed involuntarily. He took out another book; it was a yearbook from high school. Qiuyan had written on the first page, Name: Zhong Qiuyan, Astrological Sign: Gemini, Life Maxim: If you don’t even try, how would you know?
When Qiuyan returned, Cunqu was still flipping through the yearbook with interest. Repeating keywords in the commentary about Qiuyan from his classmates were: rowdy, talkative, and potentially ADHD.
Qiuyan blushed and took the book back, mumbling: “Don’t look anymore. These are all things of the past.”
Cunqu tugged him close and hugged his waist, asking: “How come there’s someone who wrote: ‘Forget me, you will find someone better’?”
Qiuyan complained noisily: “This is a prank, it’s written by some guy. Ge, just look at this chicken scratch handwriting.”
Cunqu innocently said: “But I’m also a guy.”
Qiuyan was momentarily speechless, then he drew Cunqu towards himself and said in a spoiled tone: “You’re different~ You’re my little darling. My baby, my obedient wife…”
They started kissing, tongues gently intertwining each other. Qiuyan placed Cunqu down on the bed and kissed his waist. Cunqu took off his shirt, and Qiuyan bit down on the cherries atop his chest. Cunqu couldn’t help but moan. He stroked Qiuyan’s hair and asked: “Do you want to try today?”
He then looked at him and continued in a peculiar tone: “If you don’t try, how would you know?”
This time, Cunqu loosened himself. He purposely pressed against Qiuyan’s ears and let out difficult-to-endure moans. Qiuyan kissed Cunqu's hair and continued to kiss and bite his neck. Cunqu said: “Come in slowly.”
Qiuyan obediently followed his instructions, slowly entered bit by bit, and then slowly started moving. Cunqu hasn’t done it in a long time. When Qiuyan first entered, he sharply sucked in his breath and yelped. Qiuyan, holding Cunqu’s hand, moved faster; The more he moved, the quicker he went. Cunqu finally couldn’t hold it back anymore and reached down to touch himself as he cried out.
For a moment, Qiuyan lost track of what he was doing. All that was left was an empty feeling on the top of his scalp. He held Cunqu, bit him, kissed him, and didn’t react when Cunqu started calling out: “It’s enough, Zhong Qiuyan. Ah, you, stop for a second.”
He couldn’t hear anything at all. The sentence “If you don’t try, how would you know?” suddenly crossed his mind. He finally knew now. After Qiuyan released the first time, he grabbed Cunqu and wanted to go a second round. Cunqu’s physique was relatively weak to begin with. After the first round, he had no strength left in his entire body. His legs were spread, and he leaned against the headboard of the bed; the flush on his cheeks had yet to go down. Qiuyan started biting Cunqu’s inner thigh again. The latter pushed his head away and said: “Qiuyan, are you a Gemini whose Chinese Zodiac is a dog[2]? Stop biting. Ah-- I’m telling you to stop biting…”
That night, they continued until Cunqu said slightly tearfully: “I really am tired. I already told you that I’m tired.” Qiuyan finally stopped and kissed Cunqu’s hair as he held him. He said, “Baby, you need to exercise more, you know? Otherwise, our future happy life…”
Cunqu kicked his shin.
When they finally went to sleep, Cunqu groggily really wanted to just sleep. Qiuyan, still holding him, said, "I’m a bit too excited to sleep. This is my first night. Ge, it’s very meaningful. Let me check my phone’s calendar. What’s today’s date again.”
Cunqu shut his eyes and perfunctorily nodded. Qiuyan then grabbed his face and started placing kisses everywhere. He said with dissatisfaction: “How can you have this attitude after sleeping with someone, honestly.” Cunqu didn’t know how and when he fell asleep. Qiuyan kept hugging him and refused to let go. When he woke up in the middle of the night, he was overheated from how Qiuyan was wrapped around him and almost had difficulty breathing. Qiuyan, on the other hand, was sleeping without a care in the world; his eyes were curved even when he was asleep, having some sort of a good dream.
Cunqu shut his eyes and perfunctorily nodded. Qiuyan then grabbed his face and started placing kisses everywhere. He said with dissatisfaction: “How can you have this attitude after sleeping with someone, honestly.” Cunqu didn’t know how and when he fell asleep. Qiuyan kept hugging him and refused to let go. When he woke up in the middle of the night, he was overheated from how Qiuyan was wrapped around him and almost had difficulty breathing. Qiuyan, on the other hand, was sleeping without a care in the world; his eyes were curved even when he was asleep, having some sort of a good dream.
Cunqu shut his eyes and perfunctorily nodded. Qiuyan then grabbed his face and started placing kisses everywhere. He said with dissatisfaction: “How can you have this attitude after sleeping with someone, honestly.” Cunqu didn’t know how and when he fell asleep. Qiuyan kept hugging him and refused to let go. When he woke up in the middle of the night, he was overheated from how Qiuyan was wrapped around him and almost had difficulty breathing. Qiuyan, on the other hand, was sleeping without a care in the world; his eyes were curved even when he was asleep, having some sort of a good dream.
Cunqu shifted a bit. Qiuya, like a crab, gathered him up and clutched him even tighter.
Footnotes
[1] The word used here was 凉榻(Liáng tà) which is a classical-style Chinese furniture with a very long history. It’s a rectangular low, narrow seating area/bed. See here for google images: https://tinyurl.com/3xervpwp
[2] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chinese_zodiac There are 12 animals in the Chinese Zodiac (including dog), and it’s based off birth year instead of month. Cunqu is joking that Qiuyan’s like a dog with how much he’s biting him, but it’s entirely possible that Qiuyan actually is a Gemini in the Western Zodiac but a dog in the Chinese one lol.
Table of Contents and Synopsis
<- Chapter 18
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Chapter 19: Wild Onions Fried Rice I
When Liu Xiaoying woke up, she was met with an extremely white ceiling. She turned her eyes and saw only Qi Zhiqiu in the hospital room. It was already noon the next day. Qi Zhiqiu asked: “Do you feel ok?”
Xiaoying slowly gained consciousness. The first thing she asked after she was completely awake was: “Where’s Zhou Cunqu?”
Zhiqiu poured half a cup of hot water and placed it on the nightstand, replying: “I knew you were going to ask that. Someone came to pick him up last night.”
Around 11 am, Zhong Qiuyan’s phone rang. He saw the caller ID and said to Zhou Cunqu: “The old lady is probably awake. I got a call.”
He picked up and said in a deep voice: “Liu Xiaoying, your grandson is in my hands. Prepare a 100 million ransom. Otherwise, I will eliminate the hostage.”
Xiaoying didn’t say anything. Qiuyan then said: “Ok, how about 50 million.”
Xiaoying weakly laughed and said: “Hand the phone to Zhou Cunqu. I’m going to tell him that in the eyes of Zhong Qiuyan, he’s only worth 50 million.”
Qiuyan yelled, “You’re driving a wedge between us. How hateful.”
Xiaoying sighed and asked: “How’s Zhou Cunqu doing?”
While eating something, Qiuyan replied in between pauses to chew: “Pretty good. Don’t worry, I brought him to my place.”
Last night, after Xiaoying passed out, it was chaotic outside the hotel. Qi Zhiqiu scolded Zhou Ming and clutched her phone to call the ambulance. Cunqu was leaning against Zhiqiu’s car. After a while, he suddenly asked Zhou Ming: “You guys must be incredibly disappointed in me right now, right?”
Zhou Ming paused and asked: “What do you think?”
Cunqu laughed and said: “That’s great. How great.”
When the ambulance arrived, Cunqu and Zhiqiu got on as well. Xiaoying received an exam at the hospital. Overall, there was no major issue. Moyamoya disease is quite an annoying and troublesome disease. The blood vessels on the inside of the skull are unhealthy and can cause problems when the patient excessively breathes or becomes excessively emotional.
Later, when Qiuyan rushed over, Cunqu was leaning against the corridor outside, picking at the dead skin on his hands. Qiuyan, a bit short of breath, asked: “How’s Liu Xiaoying?”
Cunqu replied: “She’s fine.”
Qiuyan hugged Cunqu and stroked the back of his back, asking: “And are you also fine?”
Cunqu nodded against his shoulder. He knew that Zhou Ming wasn’t wrong. He selfishly relied on his grandma for two whole years. Cunqu asked Qiuyan with his eyes lowered: “Did you also know about grandma’s sickness?”
Qiuyan replied: "Ah. Well, I first met her because she fell down on the sidewalk. Back then, the hospital said the old lady had a rather rare blood vessel disease. And she could faint if it wasn't handled properly. After waking up, she stubbornly insisted that it was just her high blood sugar acting up."
Cunqu didn't say anything else. Zhiqiu exited the patient's room and told them to head back first and rest up. There was no use waiting around here. Qiuyan tugged Cunqu and said: "Little friend, the little ducks of Moon Lake Park have already gone to sleep. Let's also go back and rest?"
He led Cunqu into his car and drove back to the Qin Qin Homeland residential community. During the whole ride, he chatted with him as if it were any other day. When they got home, Cunqu said that the temperatures have dropped recently. The duvet they used yesterday was too thin, so he had set out a thicker duvet in the sun and planned to use it today.
When putting on the duvet covers, Qiuyan climbed into the covers and pushed this way and that. In the end, he still couldn't correctly figure out the four corners of the duvet. Cunqu punched the squirming body inside the covers and said: "The sky's going to be bright by the time you're done."
Qiuyan climbed back out and took a deep breath. Then, he scooped Cunqu and brought him inside as well. The two of them rolled around in the covers. The new covers smelled like the laundry detergent they used. Qiuyan helped Cunqu’s face and placed kisses here and there. He said: “Smells so good, smells so good.” Cunqu helplessly laughed and said: “Can we get the covers on first?”
A few stacks of books in the room were tottering dangerously. Suddenly, one fell over onto the stack next to it. The two people inside the bed covers stopped.
Cunqu didn't climb out to fix them. He started telling Qiuyan about a story he read in a nonfiction book last year. It was about a thirteen-year-old boy who was falsely accused and imprisoned. He was a mentally and physically disabled child but was put into an adult prison and sentenced to life without parole. The person who recorded this story, a lawyer, went to find this boy fourteen years later. The lawyer said he waited in the visitors' room. The boy, now twenty-seven years old, sat in a wheelchair and was shut inside a steel cage. The lawyer didn't understand why a prisoner without any physical threat had to be caged. But there he was, sitting with his back facing everyone. When the prison guards opened the door to bring him out, the wheelchair wheels got stuck inside the cage. The guards used all of their strength and tugged on the wheelchair, tugged on that prisoner, but it was of no use.
In the end, they discussed: "Why don't we push over the cage and see if we can get him out that way."
The lawyer said the mentally disabled prisoner had his back facing them the whole time. But his shoulders started shaking; he had started crying.
Cunqu told Qiuyan that the first time he read this story, he also cried. He discovered that he resonated with that feeling of being treated like non-sentient goods.
He said: “Today, my dad said he was disappointed in me. I suddenly felt relieved, like I let out a breath I’ve been holding this whole time.”
Qiuyan looked at him, and Cunqu’s eyes started tearing up. Raising his shoulders, he cried out loud. Through the tears streaming down his face, he said: “I was relieved. They were finally disappointed in me.”
--
The following morning, Cunqu woke up not long after Qiuyan. Qiuyan smiled and said: "Hehe. Ge, your eyes are so swollen that they can't even open." Cunqu shut his eyes again, clutched Qiuyan's pajamas, and burrowed himself into his embrace to continue sleeping.
Around eight, Qiuyan drove away with Cunqu. The latter asked: “Where are you going?”
Qiuyan replied: "I am going to kidnap you right now."
Cunqu looked at him with curiosity. The dancing girl charm twirled again and again. The car drove onto the highway and then exited. Qiuyan had driven all the way to the Zhong family village.
He drove into his family home. Qiu Xuemei was wearing her pajamas and chatting with some friends in front of the courtyard doors. She turned her head and saw Qiuyan get out of the car. Xuemei yelled: "Isn't that my long-lost son? Son, do you recognize mom?"
Qiuyan yelled back: “What mom, isn’t that my sister who’s as lovely as a flower?”
The two of them, one tall, one short, one chubby, one skinny, heartily hugged each other. Cunqu almost laughed out loud from where he sat in the passenger's seat. Qiuyan dragged him out of the car and introduced him: “Sister, this, this is my good friend.”
Xuemei happily led Cunqu around. She said: “Dudu has never brought home a friend from the city. Come in, come in. Did you eat? Probably not, right.” She then turned and yelled into the house: “Zhong Baocheng, where are you at? Dudu brought home a friend!”
Qiuyan tried very hard to interrupt: “No but, can you not call me Dudu? Ah, Qiu Xuemei, do you hear me??”
Qiuyan’s family home, which was built by hand, was torn down and rebuilt again a few years back. The outside used a dirt-yellow colored ceramic tile, which was pretty disastrous in the eyes of Zhou Cunqu as an architect. They even glimmered with light. Qiuyan’s bedroom was even worse. A pale purple floral wallpaper, a Baroque-style large bed covered with plastic-made diamonds. Cunqu couldn’t help but laugh. Qiuyan asked him how it was. Cunqu nodded and replied: “Quite grand.”
Qiuyan yelped: “What do you mean, ‘grand’?”
Cunqu pinched his cheeks and asked: "Prince, you used to get up every day from this bed?"
Qiuyan suddenly hugged Cunqu from behind and brought him onto the bed. He kissed Cunqu's shoulder and said: "Yes, princess. These couple of days, you will rest up inside my imperial palace. Liu Xiaoying will have to stay in the hospital for monitoring for a few days anyway. You should relax, stay in the mountains, and get some fresh air."
Cunqu turned around and tapped Qiuyan's nose, asking: "Are you scared that I'll shut myself up in my room again…"
Qiuyan was about to reply, but Xuemei suddenly entered while carrying a quilt. He immediately shot up from the bed.
When Xiaoying called, Qiuyan and Cunqu were sitting around the dining table having a meal. The temperature was very comfortable, and they could see the family orchard from the window. Xuemei's chatterbox abilities exceeded even Qiuyan's. She said they should come to visit again around December; they could pick strawberries to eat. Neighbors often passed by the window and would pause to exchange a few greetings with Xuemei and them. When the neighbor started to ride away on his little motorcycle, Xuemei even got up and stuck her chubby body out the window, saying: "Don't forget, don't forget to bring some seeds."
On the dining room walls hung a calendar gifted when purchasing Chinese New Year's goods and professional studio photos of Xuemei. Qiuyan said while biting a shrimp: "This was when she got scammed. She spent a good few thousand to get these photos taken. Then they ended up with this type of style, and she cried as she hung them up everywhere in the house."
Xuemei blushed and grumbled: “Why are you talking about this?” She abruptly raised her glass and said: “Come, in honor of finding my long-lost son, as well as my son’s good friend, let’s toast.”
The three Zhong family members instinctively stood up and prepared to toast. Cunqu was briefly taken aback.
It was at this moment that Xiaoying called. When Cunqu picked up, the other three still stood there, waiting for him to toast with them. Xiaoying said from her end: "Grandma's doing fine; your little aunt isn't letting me leave the hospital. How are you?"
Cunqu raised his head and looked at the family of three holding their glasses, who held their positions and eagerly waited for him to join. Cunqu couldn’t help but smile as he said: “I’m doing pretty well, Grandma.”
After he hung up, he raised his cup of hot water and met their glasses in a toast.
Table of Contents and Synopsis
<- Chapter 17
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Chapter 18: Soymilk and Fried Dough VI
Before Liu Xiaoying’s 80th birthday celebration, Zhou Cunqu was already capable of going in and out of the Qin Qin Homeland residential community by himself. That morning, he agreed to accompany Xiaoying to take a walk down the path by the river. Cunqu got up, and Qiuyan got up with him. Xiaoying wore an exercise headband and had a towel draped around her neck. As she was warming up by the entrance, she saw Qiuyan sticking to Cunqu as they came out of the bedroom. The two of them leaned against each other half-asleep as they brushed their teeth in the bathroom, and then they, still half-asleep, followed behind Xiaoying as they walked by the river.
Xiaoying yelled behind her: “Keep up! What are you two doing?”
Qiuyan, hugging Cunqu’s arm, was startled awake and yelled back: “Yes Teacher Liu!”
After the walk, they had breakfast together at the breakfast shop in the Qin Qin Homeland community. The boss placed soy milk and fried dough on top of the little folding table, and said: “Teacher Liu, so these were your grandsons? I didn’t know.”
Xiaoying squinted her eyes as she drank her plain congee, then replied, “Yeah.”
Hot steam exuded from the steamer baskets in the breakfast shop. People rushing to get to work brushed by them as they walked off with their breakfast. Qiuyan and Cunqu were chatting on and off about some things. Qiuyan tugged Cunqu’s hand, and in a half-spoiled manner, asked: “So is that a yes?” Cunqu smiled and didn’t reply. Xiaoying watched them with her head leaning against her hand and suddenly stretched out to brush away the hair before Cunqu’s forehead.
Cunqu lifted his head to look at her. Xiaoying said: “It’s nothing. Let’s eat.”
The residents of Qin Qin Homeland greeted Xiaoying as they walked in and out of the breakfast shop, then hurriedly continued on with their own affairs. A week later, people walked in and out of the hotel, lobby stood by Xiaoying, and offered their birthday congratulations. Xiaoying wore her custom-ordered new clothes and smiled as she sat at the main table.
Before dinner, Qi Zhiqiu (t/n: xiaoying's youngest daughter) led her outside to take a family photo. A chair was placed in the main lobby. Xiaoying sat down, and her children and grandchildren stood in two rows beside her. During photo-taking moments like these, Xiaoying would always be reminded of when she was at Experimental Elementary School taking photos of the kids receiving awards on stage. She corrected her posture a bit cautiously, then suddenly turned her head.
Qi Zhiqiu yelled from the back row: “Old lady, what are you doing, look to the front.”
Xiaoying was looking for Cunqu. She saw him standing at the edge of the second row. Zhou Ming and Qi Lanxiang (t/n: Cunqu’s parents) appeared to be avoiding him and stood by Qi Zhiqiu’s family. Xiaoying opened her mouth; Cunqu smiled at her.
Before heading out, it was Qi Zhiqiu who came to pick them up. Xiaoying and Cunqu had already changed and were leaning against the patio railing getting fresh air. The aroma of blooming osmanthus was in the air. Xiaoying laughed and said: “One way or another, it looks like I accidentally lived to be eighty years old.”
Cunqu laughed with her. He stared at the newspaper bulletin board downstairs, then turned to say to Xiaoying: “Grandma, I never said this but, thank you.”
Before entering the hotel, Xiaoying kept holding onto Cunqu’s hand, as if she was very nervous. After arriving in the main lobby, crowds of people swarmed towards Xiaoying like an ocean wave to offer their congratulations, and the two were separated. Xiaoying chatted with her ex-students, colleagues, and friends. When she lifted her head, she saw Cunqu leaning against a chair talking to Qi Zhiqiu. Xiaoying felt like she was probably too used to being a teacher. She kept worrying on behalf of Cunqu about how he would explain the two years he disappeared. But Cunqu seemed a lot more unperturbed than she anticipated. He was dressed in a business casual suit he had chosen with Qiuyan and appeared relaxed as he leaned against his chair. He looked just like his twenty-nine-year-old self.
The photographer yelled from the front: “I’m going to count one, two, three, everyone look at the camera ok?”
Xiaoying turned her head back to the front, sat with her legs placed together, and took her family photo at the age of eighty, surrounded by all of her children and grandchildren. The photo was later printed out, blown up, framed, and delivered to the fifth floor, Building No.3 of the Qin Qin Homeland residential community. In the photo, Cunqu stood at the leftmost end of the second row, and Zhou Ming and Qi Lanxiang stood at the rightmost end.
It was also like that during dinner that day. Cunqu sat at Xiaoying’s table, while Zhou Ming and Qi Lanxiang picked a different table. They acted like strangers from the start to the end, not speaking even as they passed by each other.
After the celebration ended, Xiaoying chatted enthusiastically with a few friends at the front entrance of the hotel. That day was truly one of the happiest days of her life. She didn’t know that while she was chatting, Cunqu was stopped by Zhou Ming before he could get into Qi Zhiqiu’s car. He stood in front of Cunqu and said: “Alright, I still want to have a talk with you. What do you plan to do in the future?”
Cunqu looked at his father, a bit at a loss. It was the same type of loss as when a student gets stopped by his college professor and asked about his life goals. Zhou Ming, a bit angered, asked: “You can’t be planning on going back to hide at your grandma’s place? Everything else aside, Zhou Cunqu, everything else aside, don’t you feel like you are being very selfish?”
Cunqu kept staring at Zhou Ming, and his brain slowly started to adjust to once again hearing the sounds of Zhou Ming lecturing him. Zhou Ming suddenly raised his voice and yelled: “Everything else aside, don’t you know how bad your grandma’s health is??”
Xiaoying suddenly whipped her head around. Zhou Ming shoved Zhou Cunqu and continued speaking: “Last year your grandma was diagnosed with Moyamoya disease, had headaches, and was vomiting, but she still had to take care of you. What were you doing then? You were hiding in your room reading books!”
Xiaoying yelled from where she was standing at the hotel's front doors: “Zhou Ming, you stop talking!”
The guests walking in and out of the lobby all stopped to watch the scene. But Zhou Ming continued cursing at Cunqu: “Do you know, others are all laughing at me and my wife, all because of you.”
Xiaoying loudly yelled: “I said stop talking, Zhou Ming!”
Finally, Zhou Ming said: “Why didn't you just hide away your whole life. Why are you coming outside now…”
Xiaoying placed her hand on her heart and cried as she yelled: “Don’t, don’t listen. Zhou Cunqu, come here to your grandma.”
That day, Cunqu turned to look at Xiaoying and stretched his lips into that same old smile to comfort her. Xiaoying suddenly realized something. In the past twenty-some years, how many times had she missed the injuries that stung Cunqu’s body despite being in a position to see so clearly? All because he had always been so good at comforting himself, at comforting others, in moments like these.
Xiaoying reached out a hand towards Cunqu. Then her eyes closed as she collapsed onto the ground.
-> Chapter 19
Footnotes
Moyamoya disease: I had to look this up. It is a “rare, progressive cerebrovascular disorder caused by blocked arteries at the base of the brain in an area” https://www.ninds.nih.gov/health-information/disorders/moyamoya-disease There is no cure, only treatment to manage the symptoms.
Table of Contents and Synopsis
<- Chapter 16
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Chapter 17: Soymilk and Fried Dough V
In the morning, the breakfast shop boss knew to reflexively ask Zhou Cunqu when he saw him: “Soy milk, fried dough, and xiao long bao?” Cunqu nodded his head. The boss swiftly packed everything up and handed it to him as he said: “You never change things up.”
Eventually, Zhong Qiuyan said to him: “Ge, can you change up my breakfast?”
Cunqu took a sip of the soy milk and said that at his old job, he thought the cafe on the bottom floor of his work building wasn’t bad, so he ate the croissant there every morning for eight months straight. Qiuyan, sitting in the driver’s seat, hit the steering wheel and said: “Little Zhou, let today be the last day you take on the task of purchasing breakfast. In the future, I as the CEO will handle it myself.”
He was about to start the car when two identical faces plastered themselves against the passenger seat window. Cunqu and Qiuyan were both startled. One of the grandpas said: “The morning paper is here.” “It just got here.”
The other grandpa asked: “How come you didn’t come down to look at the paper?” “Come down and look at the paper.”
Cunqu replied: “Today I’m going to ride the morning bus.”
Three minutes later, Qiuyan drove out of the front doors of the Qin Qin Homeland community with two grandpas in his car’s backseat. They excitedly said that they too wanted to ride the morning bus.
After finishing the preparations for driving the bus, he walked to the last row of seats. Smiling as he looked at Cunqu who was sandwiched between Da Huang Grandpa and Er Huang Grandpa[1], Cunqu said: “I’ve been driving this bus for two or three years. But having family here to inspect my work, I’m still quite excited.”
Da Huang Grandpa said: “Don’t be nervous.” Er Huang Grandpa followed: “It’s not a big deal.”
Qiuyan was speechless and told the two elderly to hold on and be careful to not fall off.
The “Double Yolk Egg” Grandpas sat with Cunqu for two rounds of the bus route. Before rush hour, they got off at the Moon Lake Park bus stop. Er Huang Grandpa pressed himself against the backdoor of the bus and asked Cunqu: “You don’t want to take a walk around the park?”
Cunqu smiled and shook his head.
For the whole day, Cunqu patiently sat in the backseat of the no.188 bus Qiuyan drove with a magazine in his hands. During the morning rush hour, the bus was packed with people, and the cars at the major crossroads of the center city were entangled like a ball of hair, moving slightly ever so often. Cunqu was squeezed by a few elementary school students in the aisle until he almost sat up. He immediately felt extremely uncomfortable and his scalp started going numb. After enduring that ride to the terminal stop, Qiuyan jumped down from the bus and bought a beverage for him.
Cunqu said it’s been a really long time since he’s seen a bus filled with exhausted people. Everyone took the bus first thing in the morning, incessantly day after day. Finished with this period of rushing about, they switch to a different bus, a different route, and continue on.
Qiuyan said that when he started working, he was very impatient during the morning and evening rush hours. But his mother, the famous thinker of the Zhong family village, said: “But isn't it a wonderful thing that everyone has somewhere to go every morning and every night?”
Normally around the afternoon, there wouldn’t be that many passengers getting on. Approaching the terminal stop, the bus only had the driver Qiuyan, and the only passenger Cunqu. One sat at the front driving the bus, the other in the very back reading a magazine. The hanging handles quietly swung left and right. The announcement voice declared the next stop, and the bus came to a stop by the platform. The doors opened and closed, and then the bus started up again. A small display of formality.
In the early evening, during the last trip of Qiuyan’s shift, a man holding a cardboard box got on and sat next to Cunqu. Qiuyan started up the bus, suddenly stopped, and pushed open the barrier enclosing the driver’s seat. He walked over and said to the man holding the box: “Teacher Qi, why are you riding the bus today with a box of rabbits? Animals aren’t allowed on public transportation, we don’t want there to be a smell.”
Old Qi said: “I found them from an underbrush near the TV station, they’re all listless, look.” A nest of rabbits and old Qi all looked at Qiuyan with round eyes. Qiuyan was momentarily stuck for words. Cunqu said from the said: “Is there someone who can come pick you up? The rabbits might be motion sick if you ride the bus.
Cunqu helped him carry the box of rabbits down. The two of them stood waiting at the platform. Soon, a black car hurriedly arrived. The man inside the car rolled down the window and frowned as he asked: “Where did you find these rabbits from this time?”
Cunqu helped open the car door. Old Qi, carrying the box of rabbits, squeezed into the passenger seat with difficulty as he replied: “Near the TV station building…”
The person in the driver’s seat exasperatedly helped him buckle his seat build. Old Qi mumbled: “Drive slower, the rabbits might get motion sick.”
The man made a sound of agreement and drove off after thanking Cunqu.
When Qiuyan came to pick up Cunqu in his car, the latter was blanking out on a bench near the platform. Moonlake Avenue was covered with yellow and green fallen leaves. His head was tilted upwards as he observed the fuzzy light of the roadside lamps. Qiuyan rolled down his car window and asked: “Handsome, do you have company tonight? If not, let me treat you to dinner?”
Cunqu smiled and said: “I’m waiting for my boyfriend to pick me up.”
Qiuyan asked: “What? Is your boyfriend better than me?”
Cunqu opened the car door and got inside. He hugged Qiuyan’s neck and kissed his cheek, saying: “My boyfriend is very very good. Other than the fact that he’s a little virgin boy who doesn't know what to do after taking off the pants….”
Qiuyan’s face immediately flushed red, and he yelled: “Ahh. Help, you’re never going to let this go. Help me.”
Cunqu laughed out loud and tugged on Qiuyan’s face to kiss him again.
Just last week, the two of them had gotten to that point while being intimate and wanted to try it for the first time. Qiuyan had tugged Cunqu’s underwear down to his shins, and Cunqu opened up his legs. Suddenly, Qiuyan stilled as he kneeled there. Cunqu then sighed and said: “I'm about to catch a cold here, have you figured out what you want to do?”
Qiuyan, red in the face, mumbled: “I don’t quite know…” Actually, he didn’t know in the slightest. Cunqu held Qiuyan’s hand and taught him what to do. Qiuyan stiffly pushed his fingers in without a single bit of skill. Cunqu felt so much pain that he tugged Qiuyan’s hair and almost cried. Qiuyan stroked Cunqu’s calf and leaned in to kiss him while apologizing.
Qiuyan recalled up to this point and sighed to himself. Then he suddenly clenched his hand into a fist and said: “Ge, I’ve decided. I will definitely make you happy.”
Cunqu didn’t understand what he was talking about.
That night they ditched Liu Xiaoying and found a restaurant outside to eat. This restaurant was located behind the residential community where Cunqu lived. Ever since middle school, he would often come here by himself. The little restaurant never really changed up its decor. Under the dim yellow light were a few tables. The owner, wearing a striped corduroy apron, walked over holding their dishes. The walls beside the tables were plastered with sticky notes with messages and wishes left by the diners. Cunqu lowered his head, ate his coconut brown sugar tangyuan, and thought back to those low-visibility winter nights after his after-school classes. With his backpack on his back, he pushed open the restaurant’s door, which had windchimes hanging. He placed his order and sat there waiting for his food. While waiting, he would often fall asleep. Later, after entering society and starting work, he would still come here once a year to eat. But incessantly day after day, week after week, he didn’t know what he was rushing about for, he didn’t know when was the next time he could sleep for over eight hours.
Qiuyan bit his spoon and lifted his head to look at those sticky note messages. As if by fate, he saw the wish left by Cunqu within the countless number of sticky notes. Last time, the approximately twenty-seven-year-old Cunqu had written: Be happy every day. Then he drew a smiley face.
This one “Be happy every day” sticky note had countless other “Be happy every day”s surrounding it. It was as if Cunqu couldn’t think of anything himself, so he casually copied one of the messages and made that his life’s wish.
Cunqu still had his head lowered as he tasted the dessert he hadn’t had in a long time. Qiuyan suddenly stood up and took down the sticky note left by Cunqu. He wrote for a bit and smiled as he raised it up for Cunqu to look at. Qiuyan had changed the words on the sticky note to: “We will be happy every day.” He drew his own smiley face next to Cunqu’s, with two curved arcs for eyes.
Cunqu stared at that sticky note. His twenty-seve-year-old self, filled with fatigue, had sat at the next table over, wrote on a sticky note, carelessly stuck it to the wall, and walked out the door. Qiuyan placed the sticky note back to its original position.
When they drove back to Qin Qin Homeland, the car passed through Moonlake Avenue. Cunqu rolled down the car window and suddenly called out: “Stop for a moment.”
After a minute, the “Double Yolk Egg” Grandpas once again got into the backseat of Qiuyan’s car. One grandpa yelled at the other: “It’s all because of him, he didn’t know which bus to take to get home. We got on the wrong bus quite a few times.” “It’s all because of you.” “Because of you.” “Definitely because of you.”
The two made a racket in the backseat and almost started fighting. Qiuyan said with exasperation: “Stop arguing, the two of you are so noisy, hey, listen to me…”
Cunqu couldn’t help but laugh. Then he turned back to look out the window. The little ducks of Moonlake Park had already gone to sleep. The shadow of the trees and the light of the lamps lining the avenue created mottled patterns on the ground. A scattering of pedestrians walked across the street. Cunqu leaned against the window and observed the thirty-first autumn of his life. Unexpectedly, he whole-heartedly felt so happy right now, so happy that he almost wanted to cry. When Qiuyan turned to look at him, Cunqu had his back facing him, and his shoulders trembled ever so slightly. After a while, he suddenly stretched out a hand and caught a fluttering, falling leaf.
-> Chapter 18
Footnotes
[1] The Double Yolk Egg grandpas’ nickname comes from their actual last name of Huang which translates to yellow, and is also used in the word for “yolk.” Here the Huang grandpas are differentiated by Da (which means oldest in this case), and Er (Two, or second).
Table of Contents and Synopsis
<- Chapter 15
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Chapter 16: Soymilk and Fried Dough IV
Liu Xiaoying didn’t say anything after dinner that day, and she didn’t behave differently either. However, this made Zhong Qiuyan feel like he was on the tenterhooks. He wanted to sleep over in Cunqu’s room, but he didn’t know if Xiaoying would mind. Qiuyan hugged Cunqu and rolled around in his bed, complaining: “I would rather Xiaoying beat me up, then say to me ‘Leave my grandson, you cabbage-eating pig[1]!’ Then I’d reply ‘I will never leave your grandson unless I die!’ Then Xiaoying says: ‘I insist on separating you two’...”
Cunqu cut him off: “You have to stop watching so many 8pm TV dramas.”
Qiuyan sucked on the skin of Cunqu’s collarbone and finally stopped after he left a hickey. While scrutinizing his handiwork, he asked: “So what is Liu Xiaoying thinking?”
Cunqu said that his grandma is a straightforward type of person. She would say whatever was on her mind. If she didn’t say anything, then perhaps there really wasn't much to say. Maybe it’s because she didn’t have anything to say, or maybe she didn’t know how to say it.
In the end, Xiaoying really didn’t say anything and didn’t act any differently towards Qiuyan.
In October, Cunqu was moved back to the daytime shifts. After he finished up, it was past 6pm. He held his water bottle and got out of the driver’s seat, planning on handing his report to the dispatch worker. When he walked into the central hall of the public transportation terminal, he saw Xiaoying sitting on the couch hugging her little handbag.
Qiuyan stopped and walked over. He asked: “Madam Liu Xiaoying, how come you didn't say anything beforehand about coming here to find me?”
Xiaoying replied: “I didn’t plan on coming today. But then I suddenly felt like coming today.”
Qiuyan didn’t know what she was talking about and filled a cup of warm water for her at the water dispenser. Then he sat down next to Xiaoying. The hall still had other employees walking in and out. Xiaoying looked up at the clock mounted on the wall across from them and asked Qiuyan: “You and Zhou Cunqu. Are you two ‘Homosexual’[2]?”
Qiuyan looked at her. Xiaoying said with her head lowered: “This old lady might be old, but I’m not dumb. I’ve already had an inkling that there was something off about you two.” She let out an elusive sigh and continued, “In the 2000s, an arsonist set off a fire in East City’s Phoenix Mountain Park. The people who set the fire and those who were chased out by it from the park were all brought to the police station. I still have an impression of that event because one of the male teachers of our school was also there. That year I had just retired, and I heard on the news that the whole group were homosexuals. The male teacher quit immediately after. I don’t really understand this. So in the past two days, I’ve been going to the library to read up on it, but I can’t comprehend much of what the books are saying. I really am old; it’s quite difficult for me to accept something like this.”
Qiuyan opened his mouth to say something but was interrupted by a notification on his phone. Cunqu texted him asking: Are you off work?
Xiaoying looked at Qiuyan’s phone home screen background. Displayed on the screen was Cunqu holding a picture book, happily laughing. She and Qiuyan sat side by side, silently watching the people occasionally walking in and out of the terminal hall. Xiaoying sighed and said: “But I love Zhou Cunqu very much. More than you love him, for sure.”
Qiuyan said: “So now you want to compete over this, old lady?”
Xiaoying said: “Definitely more than you.”
She laughed and continued: “But I don’t have much time left to love Zhou Cunqu. Although I don’t really understand what ‘homosexuality’ is, I know that you’re a pretty good person. Zhou Cunqu is also a pretty good person. The two of you loving each other doesn’t seem like a bad idea.”
Xiaoying took a sip from the cup of warm water. With a slight tremble in her hands, she said to Qiuyan: “One day, when Second Grandma[3] goes up to the sky, she will protect you both. Grandma is the type of person who is true to her words.”
--
Early the next morning, Cunqu sent Qiuyan off to work and stood beside “Double Yolk Egg” Grandpas to read the morning paper. The paper that day wrote about how the new No.7 subway line officially started operating. A baby tiger escaped from the Cliff Mountain Wildlife Zoo, and citizens should be careful. A little kid named Mengmeng from the Blue Danube Residential Community got his head stuck inside some equipment in the community playground and was successfully pulled out after half an hour.
Cunqu read with interest. He was someone who escaped from society. Reading about societal news now, he found it novel and fascinating. He even looked with enthusiasm at where the No.7 line passed through. He saw that it passed through Moonlake Park. When they went on their evening walk after dinner, Cunqu dragged Qiuyan to look at the route map. Qiuyan held his hand and swung their hands back and forth saying: “Little fool, I saw this on the news with my phone a long time ago.”
Cunqu continued to study the map of the No.7 line’s route. Then he suddenly said, “Next time I want to ride your bus line.”
They looked at each other.
Recently Cunqu always went out in the daytime, and he had no issues holding simple conversations with others. They tried to go for a walk on Breadfruit Street at the busiest hour in the evening. At first, Cunqu would be done after not too long, and he would want to hide regardless of who they ran into. Later, the chubby little kid spotted them taking a walk after he had dinner and insisted on joining. And so Cunqu with Qiuyan on his left and a little kid tugging his hand on the right, walked down the street pressed between the two of them. The chubby little kid always rambled to Cunqu about things that happened at kindergarten. He talked so much that Qiuyan couldn’t even say anything in between. The little kid tugged Cunqu this way and that. Behind them, Qiuyan cursed: “Damn. Give him back to me. Give him back to me!”
When the days got colder, Qiuyan and Cunqu would sit on the sofa and accompany Xiaoying to soak their feet[4] after they returned from their walks. The cool nighttime air blew in from the open balcony doors. Qiuyan played with the ends of Cunqu’s hair. Xiaoying, sitting on the side, started dozing off while watching the TV. Cunqu felt his own hair, and suddenly asked: “Since I’m always going out these days, shouldn’t I cut my hair?”
And so one afternoon that week, after learning haircutting at the trade school for over 2 months, Da Yu was suddenly invited to Xiaoying’s home to cut Cunqu's hair. Da Yu cleared his throat and said: “First I want to thank you, ge, for your acknowledgement. But I’m a bit scared.”
Qiuyan said: “Don’t worry. Even if you mess up, you just won’t be able to leave this door ever again.”
Cunqu laughed. He said: “Just cut it shorter, that’s all.”
With the utmost seriousness, Da Yu prepared his tools, ones for washing hair, cutting hair, shaving, the entire set. Through the mirror, Cunqu watched hair slowly fall onto the ground. He didn’t know why, but no one in the room talked or did anything else. They all stood there, quietly watching Da Yu cut short Cunqu’s hair.
After finishing the haircut, Da Yu rubbed his forehead and nervously asked Cunqu: “How is it?”
Cunqu smiled at Da Yu through the mirror and replied: “Very good.”
Then he turned to ask Qiuyan: “How is it?”
Qiuyan rubbed his hair and said: “It feels like I switched boyfriends. How great.” Cunqu smiled and punched him in the chest.
That night, they went to the street-side open-air food stall that Qiuyan and his Mulberry Garden brothers frequented. Qiuyan squeezed Cunqu’s hand and asked if he felt uneasy. Cunqu shook his head. The food stall was filled with people at eight or nine o’clock at night. Cunqu looked around, and people’s heads looked like they were bobbing up and down in the ocean. A’Shan arrived a bit late, earnestly opened a bottle of beer, clinked it against Cunqu’s juice, and said: “Congratulations to ge for starting anew. I’ll drink all of this.”
Cunqu smiled and lifted his juice glass, finishing half of it. Then he quietly leaned back against his chair, listening to Qiuyan, A’Shan, and Da Yu jest around. Qiuyan’s neck would turn red whenever he drank a lot. When he said something funny, he’d pull Cunqu in with his arm and insist on repeating it to him.
Cunqu listened quietly, thoughts drifting off to the seven hundred some insomniac nights he locked himself up in his room reading his books. Those nights felt like a drawn-out echo from the bottom of a well. Drawing on and on. Until he thought he would be forever trapped within it.
Qiuyan suddenly waved his hand in front of his face. Putting on a cutesy tone, he asked: “Is our family’s baby sleepy?”
Da Yu went “Ah?" Then he yelled loudly, “Zhong Qiuyan you’re so nauseating.”
Qiuyan hit the table and yelled back, “It’s not like I’m talking to you!”
A’Shan waved his hand and said: “Alright, alright. Don’t start fighting for real. Alright, Qiuyan…Ge, hurry up and pull back his dog leash.”
-> Chapter 17
Footnotes
[1] Lol this is a common saying in China to describe someone (the pig) who got together with someone above his pedigree/ he doesn’t deserve (cabbage) and doesn’t even realize how good he has it.
[2] This was in quotes in the original too, indicating Xiaoying’s unfamiliarity with the term.
[3] Reference to how Qiuyan jokingly referred to her as “Second grandma” a few times in the past.
[4] This is a common thing people in China, especially the elderly do every day. They fill up a washbasin with hot water and soak their feet it. It’s good for circulation and helps warm the whole body up if it’s cold. Also just very relaxing before bedtime.
Table of Contents and Synopsis
<- Chapter 14
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T/N: Content warning for mention of suicidal thoughts/intentions
Chapter 15: Soymilk and Fried Dough III
To prevent Liu Xiaoying from catching on, Zhong Qiuyan started staying the night at his own place most of the time. Early in the morning, Zhou Cunqu decided to try and head outside without Qiuyan’s accompaniment. He encouraged himself to try and go downstairs to buy breakfast. He stood outside for a long time, picking at the wallpaper, listening to the sound coming in from the stairwell window of the world outside slowly waking up.
That day he was just standing there when a little kid suddenly ran up from the fourth floor and stood in the stairwell landing halfway up the fifth floor. Cunqu looked at him; he looked at Cunqu. He was a chubby little kid, with half of a glutinous rice ball in his hand, and something like pork floss around his mouth. He looked at Cunqu and called out: “Jie-jie”.[1]
Afterward, Cunqu walked downstairs. The “Double Yolk Egg” Grandpas were standing next to the bulletin board reading the freshly-posted morning newspaper. One of them scratched his head, and the other one followed and scratched his own head. Cunqu passed by them and walked to buy breakfast from the usual place. The little kid’s mother passed by on a bike, the kid sat upon the back seat and waved at him happily.
Cunqu received his breakfast and ran into Liu Xiaoying as she returned from her morning exercises outside the condo building. Cunqu said: “Grandma, I bought breakfast.” He lifted the bag in his hand for Xiaoying to see, then he opened the security door and walked inside. Everything was as natural as if he did this every day. Xiaoying followed him inside, and the two of them walked up the stairs one after another. This was an extremely mundane scene, yet the last time this scene happened was over two years ago.
That time, Xiaoying walked behind Cunqu, and water droplets dripped from Cunqu’s body onto the staircase every step he took. He looked like he had just been fished out of a pond and placed upon this stairwell. Arriving at the fifth floor, before he even entered the door, Cunqu took out his bank cards and placed them inside Xiaoying’s hand. Emotionlessly, he said: “Grandma, I sold my car and house, the money’s inside these cards.”
Xiaoying clutched the wet bank cards and looked up at Cunqu. At that moment, she had a premonition, grabbed Cinque's hand, and pulled him inside her home. She hugged Cunqu tightly, and shakily repeated: “Grandma needs you, grandma needs you…”
When Cunqu turned around to look at her, Xiaoying came back to herself and wiped her eyes. She asked: “What did you buy for breakfast?”
Cunqu smiled and said: “Fried dough. And some millet congee for grandma.”
They sat together at the dining table to have breakfast. Xiaoying talked about how the walking path next to the river was bustling even early in the morning. There was always a bunch of people exercising. Cunqu listened to her and replied from time to time. Xiaoying stared at a tiny oil stain on the tablecloth and suddenly laughed. She said: “Without Zhong Qiuyan that chatterbox here, this place suddenly feels so quiet.” Cunqu lowered his head and laughed.
Cunqu, standing in the flowerbed of his family home, repeatedly sneezed. Next to him, Qiu Xuemei helped him transfer a Chinese rose plant[2] into a flower pot. Today was his day off, and Qiuyan had returned to his home village last night after work. He sent a text to Cunqu: Today I’m bringing back a gift for our family’s treasure[3].
In the afternoon, Qiuyan carried two pots of Chinese roses into Xiaoying’s place. Holding the two pots, he walked around looking for Cunqu everywhere. Xiaoying indistinctly said from where she was sitting on the couch: “Are you practicing acrobatics or what? Put the flowers down.”
Cunqu asked, bemused, “Where’s my ge? He’s actually not home.”
Xiaoying was drinking some odd kind of nutritional soup. She tilted her head back and downed the whole bowl, then said: “He went out with a friend.”
Cunqu’s new good friend, the chubby little kid from the fourth floor, ran to the fifth floor after he came home from kindergarten and invited him to play together on the roof. When Qiuyan ran up, Cunqu was sitting on a camping chair that someone had tossed out. The little chubby kid was lying beside him listening to him read from a picture book. Cunqu read: “One rainy day, atop a continent of a planet in the universe, within a neighborhood in some city of a country, behind the window of a house, stood a little girl. Her name was Madeline. One day, Madeline’s tooth was about to fall out…
So Madeline sprinted out of her home, she wanted to tell all her neighbors this good news. Her neighbors came from all over the world. There was an Italian, a Latin American…"
The little chubby kid often interrupted Cunqu asking him questions like “What is the Tower of Pisa?”, or “What is a jaguar?” Later he excitedly opened his mouth for Cunqu to look; one of his front teeth also fell. Whenever he smiled, that spot felt cool from the air.
To demonstrate to Cunqu, he kept smiling. Cunqu eventually couldn’t hold back and also started laughing. Qiuyan took out his phone and captured a photo of that scene. He set it as his wallpaper.
The chubby little kid’s mom came up to get him for dinner. The kid squeezed Cunqu's hand and asked: “Will you read the picture book for me tomorrow too?”
Cunqu nodded. When he turned around, he saw Qiuyan staring at him from the side.
Qiuyan ran up and sat down on the other camping chair. With both hands holding his cheeks, he said: “Gege, I also want to listen to stories.” He was just joking around. But Cunqu suddenly stretched out his hands and feet and lay back on the camping chair. He smiled as he said: “That day when I came to grandma, I planned to just see her and then leave. Back then I accumulated a bunch of my pills and planned to down all of them in one go. But Grandma didn’t let me leave, she didn’t let me leave…”
Cunqu paused for a bit and continued: “And just now I suddenly realized how glad I am of that. The me of today has a boyfriend. And a good friend.”
Qiuyan didn’t reply and instead pulled him into a hug.
When they went downstairs, Qiuyan presented the two pots of Chinese roses to him as if they were treasures. He pressed up against Cunqu and said into his ear: “It’s a gift for you, not Liu Xiaoying. It says online that gifting flowers is a good way to enhance feelings between two lovers.”
Cunqu replied into his ear: “Did you read a romance guide for straight couples? You fool.”
But Cunqu really did like flowers. The two pots of orange and pink roses sat on the balcony, all the way until the end of September. Cunqu felt happy every time he saw them.
In the evening, after the sun had set, he retrieved the clothes he had hung up to dry. Xiaoying was in the kitchen stir frying while complaining about how useless the ventilation fan was. Qiuyan helped to bring out the dishes and yelled towards the balcony: “Ge, time to eat.”
Cunqu tossed the fresh laundry onto the couch and said he needed to wash his hands. When he headed into the bathroom to wash his hands, Qiuyan followed after him and quickly kissed his cheek. Then he hugged him from behind and said: “Wash together, let’s wash together.”
They playfully fought as they washed their hands. When they turned around, they saw Xiaoying standing at the bathroom entrance. Qiuyan was so surprised he almost leaped onto the sink counter. He yelped: “How did you walk over here without making a sound, old lady[4]?”
Xiaoying’s gaze traveled between the two of them back and forth. Cunqu mumbled: “Grandma…”
The three of them stood stock-still at the bathroom entrance. Xiaoying said: “Hurry and come out to eat. I thought the two of you somehow encountered some big problem while washing your hands…”
-> Chapter 16
Footnotes
[1] Not sure if I already footnoted this, but "jie-jie" is older sister haha ("ge-ge" is older brother)
[2] A specific type of China rose 果汁阳台 (google images: https://tinyurl.com/2rxfnbzn)
[3] The word is 宝贝, it literally means treasure but is used in a similar way as the “baby” endearment. So it can be translated as that as well.
[4] I don’t know if I ever mentioned this but whenever Qiuyan calls Xiaoying “old lady” he always uses 老太太, which is a respectful address for an elderly woman.
Table of Contents and Synopsis
<- Chapter 13
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Chapter 14: Soymilk and Fried Dough II
After more days of heading outside during the day, Zhou Cunqu realized that it almost felt like he was discovering daytime for the first time in his life. He never knew that dawn and dusk carried different scents. In the morning, he walked Zhong Qiuyan downstairs as the latter was heading to work. It was only around 6 am. There were a few breakfast shops around the Qin Qin Homeland community; Warm fragrant scents wafted out from those stores starting first thing in the morning. Qiuyan stuffed a bill inside Cunqu’s hand and said: “Go and try buying breakfast.”
Cunqu walked over. As the owner lifted the lid of the steamer basket to retrieve the buns inside, he nervously said with his head lowered: “One order of steamed buns, two bags of soymilk..”
Cunqu and the owner simultaneously squinted from the hot steam that assailed their eyes. The chubby owner swiftly bagged the buns and soymilk for him, then turned around, busy packing something else, as he called out: “Take care.” He didn’t spare Cunqu a single glance during the entire exchange.
Cunqu sat inside Qiuyan’s car and sipped from the bag of soymilk. He said: “It actually wasn’t that difficult.”
It really wasn’t that difficult. This continued for a whole week until finally, the owner looked at him for the first time. He lifted his head and said: “You new around here?”
Cunqu smiled in response. The owner gave him an extra stick of fried dough in passing, saying it tasted the best when freshly fried. Cunqu thought that the fried dough was particularly delicious. Qiuyan wiped the corner of his mouth for him and asked: “What do you want to eat for dinner? I’ll buy it after I get off work today.”
Cunqu thought briefly and replied that he wanted to eat yellow croaker.
The door of Liu Xiaoying’s place was slightly open when Qiuyan returned from work. He pushed the door open, and Xiaoying’s four children simultaneously turned to look at him from the couch. Xiaoying herself sat by the dining table, and she said to Qiuyan: “Put it in the kitchen.”
She then said to the four on the couch: “I’m going to cook dinner now, when are you planning to go?”
Xiaoying’s youngest daughter, Qi Zhiqiu, frowned and said: “Mom, how come you didn’t say ‘I’m going to cook dinner now, why don’t you guys stay and have some?’”
Xiaoying didn’t bother to reply and stood up to head to the kitchen. Qi Lanxiang sat amongst the others and suddenly sneered: “You’re going to cook for him his entire life?”
Everyone in the room fell silent. Xiaoying sternly knocked on the dining table, and scolded like she used to when herding students into the classroom: “Go!”
During dinner, Qiuyan picked up a small yellow croaker with his chopsticks and put it into Cunqu’s bowl. Wagging his invisible tail, he said: “I deliberated for a long time and picked all the freshest ones. But since it was already late dusk, there weren’t that many fresh ones left, you know?”
Xiaoying stuck out her own bowl and demanded, “Pick a fresh one for me.”
Qiuyan replied: “Old ladies shouldn’t eat fish, you’ll choke on the bones.” He placed some Shanghai Bok Choy into Xiaoying’s bowl.
Cunqu laughed out loud.
That night Cunqu held a change of clothes and walked into the bathroom to shower. Qiuyan followed him. Cunqu sighed and said: “When did you get perverted enough to follow me even when I’m showering.”
Qiuyan said: “Xiaoying headed out to take a walk…” He asked Cunqu: “The things they said in the living room earlier in the day, did you hear them?”
With his back facing Qiuyan, Cunqu took off his shirt and threw it into the laundry basket. He said, “Yeah, they were discussing which hotel to hold the banquet at, how many tables they needed, what return gifts to prepare. The hotel needed to be reserved in advance, so they were in a hurry to discuss.”
Qiuyan walked up and hugged Cunqu from behind. He kissed Cunqu’s shoulder and asked: “Are you ok?”
Cunqu replied: “I’m fine.”
It’s just that his body would involuntarily have stress reactions to Qi Lanxiang’s voice, so he stayed inside his room and listened to Xiaoying’s music tapes. But Qi Lanxiang’s voice had quite the penetrative power. Cunqu said: “My mom used to be a singer. Then she became a vocal coach at a music school. My dad is a professor.” He suddenly recalled Jiang Langyu. In his entire life, Cunqu only ever rebelled once. In elementary school, he carried his violin case and headed to his violin lesson alone. But he didn’t end up going. Instead, he hid away with excitement and fear in an alleyway near his home. He didn’t do anything that day except sit on a chair someone had thrown out and blank out, waiting out the time of his lesson. He hugged his violin case and tilted back his head, staring at the dried peach slices someone had laid out on their balcony.
When Cunqu looked back down, he saw Jiang Liangyu looking at him from the alleyway entrance. Their eyes met, and he left. Later Cunqu found out that he went to tell Qi Lanxiang that Cunqu did not go to his class.
Qiuyan let out an “ah?” He mumbled about how he didn’t understand what Liangyu was thinking. Cunqu took off his pajama pants and folded them neatly to the side. He said, “Because we were never the ordinary type of friends.”
Qiuyan asked: “Did they hit you?”
Cunqu replied, that they never hit him growing up. They would only repeatedly point fingers and bring this up in the years that followed, blaming the fact that his violin skills never went anywhere on this one time he skipped class.
Cunqu turned on the shower, and water splashed Qiuyan in the face. Qiuyan yelped and bit Cunqu’s arm, saying: “You’re bullying me. Gege is bullying me.”
Cunqu laughed. Qiuyan didn’t care if his clothes got wet and started kissing Cunqu. They kissed in the steam, and Qiuyan held Cunqu down there for the first time. Cunqu leaned against him and moaned beside his ear. Right as Cunqu reached his release with his eyes closed, Xiaoying sneezed from outside the door. The two inside the bathroom froze.
Qiuyan quietly yelped: “Shit, shit…why did she come back this quickly.”
Cunqu immediately started instructing him: “I’ll head out first and say I just finished showering. Then I’ll chat with Grandma for a bit. You slowly sneak out.”
Qiuyan lightly replied: “Yessir.”
--
When Qiuyan switched back to the night shift, he would head directly back to Qin Qin Homeland afterward. Cunqu left the door open for him, and read in bed while waiting for him. Qiuyan pushed open the door and headed in, navigating through several book piles with difficulty. He puckered his lips and said: “Give your husband a kiss.”
Cunqu said that gave him goosebumps. Qiuyan smacked a heavy kiss on his lips and scolded: “You’re allergic to romance.” After scolding, he looked around and found the change of clothes he left inside Cunqu’s closet. He walked to the nightstand and took a sip from Cunqu’s water, tiptoed outside to take a shower, then came back covered in steam.
They would wait for Liu Xiaoying to leave for her calligraphy class before heading down to take their walk. For a time in early September, it continuously rained. They finished their walk and sat inside Qiuyan’s car and listened to the rain. Cunqu said that he had never realized how pleasantly the rain sounded when it fell upon an umbrella or against the roof of a car. At night, their slippers were placed next to each other. The rain would still be pouring outside the window. Cunqu said that he read a story in his book about how a pet goldfish waited for its owner to fall asleep, wore his slippers, and sat in the living room watching TV.
Qiuyan followed up: “It’s watching ‘How does a fish successfully jump over the Dragon Gate.’” Cunqu laughed.
The next morning, Qiuyan yawned as he walked out of Cunqu’s room. He ran into Xiaoying who had just returned from her morning exercises. Xiaoying held the towel she was using to wipe her sweat and asked him suspiciously: “How come these days it seems like you’re at my place every second of the day?”
Qiuyan replied through his yawn: “Excuse you, I go to work every day.” He then slid to the side and poured a glass of room-temperature water for Cunqu. Xiaoying said with her hands on her hips: “No, no. Haven't you been working the night shift recently? You’re here during the day. At night you’re working. The next day you’re here again….”
Qiuyan pushed her and said: “Go and take a shower. Your entire body smells like sweat. Your place is my place. Aren’t you my second grandma…”
Qiuyan escaped into Cunqu’s bedroom and stuck out his tongue, saying to himself: “I’m done for.”
Xiaoying stood outside the door, taken aback. After a while, she mumbled: “I still feel like something’s off…”
Table of Contents and Synopsis
<- Chapter 12
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Chapter 13: Soymilk and Fried Dough I
T/N: New chapter title! One of my favorite breakfast combos~[1]
The next morning, Zhou Cunqu woke up before Zhong Qiuyan. He dug himself out of Qiuyan’s arms and took a deep breath. With one finger, he grazed Qiuyan’s face, then he rubbed his ear, and then he leaned in and planted a kiss on his lips. Qiuyan, still half-asleep, laughed and said: “Some people act like a pervert first thing in the morning.”
Cunqu said: “The alarm’s about to go off.”
Qiuyan opened his eyes, looked at the clock, and sat up. Then he lay back down, drew Cunqu into his arms, and started messily kissing him. The alarm then really went off.
Qiuyan got up once again. He stood amid the piles of books and stretched. Cunqu suddenly stretched out his leg and lightly pressed his foot against his underwear. Qiuyan almost fell on top of the books. Cunqu started chuckling.
Recently, Da Yu did actually go to study hairdressing at a trade school. He spent the money to buy a fake head; he heard that from long hair to short hair you could cut it 300 different times. When he was on break, he went to find Qiuyan at the bus station to get lunch together. Qiuyan sat under the shade of a tree deep in thought. Da Yu hit him and asked: “What are you thinking about?”
Qiuyan bluntly replied, “About things that happen in a bed.” He asked if Da Yu had any experience. The latter rebuked, “How could I have experience on what it’s like between two men.”
Qiuyan grumbled, “I knew I couldn’t depend on you.”
After a bit, Da Yu cleared his throat and asked a bit awkwardly: “How far have you two gotten?”
Qiuyan also cleared his throat. He replied with a red face, “Not telling.”
A couple of days ago, when Qiuyan stayed over, he and Cunqu were kissing against his bed. And he got hard from the kissing. Cunqu laughed as he said, “Really impressive.”
Ever since they started dating, Qiuyan had only gone as far as feeling around underneath Cunqu’s pajamas. That day he pressed Cunqu beneath him, bit the side of his neck, and grinded against him. Cunqu slid his hand under his underwear. Qiuyan immediately stopped moving; he didn’t even dare to breathe. Cunqu stroked him, his head pressed against Qiuyan’s chest. Qiuyan couldn’t last for long. Cunqu pressed his lips against his ear and said: “Little virgin.”
Reminiscing to this point, he suddenly said to Da Yu: “It was oddly exciting.”
Da Yu yelled: “Who asked!”
After meeting up with Zhou Pianyan, Qiuyan asked Cunqu if they wanted to move the time of their walk to earlier and try to go outside when it’s still day. Liu Xiaoying had a calligraphy class at the school for the elderly in the afternoons twice a week. One of those days was coincidentally Qiuyan’s day off from work. They had lunch together. Xiaoying went back to her room for a midday nap and then headed out right after. Qiuyan had recently bought two new outfits for Cunqu that fit better. He hugged Cunqu’s waist and said, “Our family's kid needs to eat more. And be less picky. Or he’ll get beat.”
Cunqu laughed. Nowadays even if he didn’t have an appetite he would force himself to eat something.
Qiuyan tugged Cunqu’s hand and said: “It’s really hot outside in the afternoon. Just listen to those cicadas.” He stuck a small fan in Cunqu’s hand. And so Cunqu held that pink mini fan and walked slowly downstairs with Qiuyan. The new resident on the fourth floor was a family of three. The child was a chubby little kid around four or five years old who was attending a kindergarten nearby.
That day, teacher Zhuang’s place on the third floor had its door open. A few people were talking inside. Cunqu was a little nervous. Qiuyan squeezed his hand and said, “Look at me, don’t look over there.”
They walked down to the first floor. Perhaps because it was too hot out, the Go table of the “Double Yolk Egg” grandpas was there, but they were not. Qiuyan and Cunqu sat down at their chairs. They didn’t speak for a while, and instead blankly stared at the garden in front of them. A few dragonflies flew by in the garden. It was an incredibly ordinary scene, but Cunqu suddenly felt like he was in a dream. A dream where he didn't shut himself up for two years. A dream where this was just any other summer day of the 29th year of his life.
Qiuyan spoke up from the side, telling him that the city’s art museum had a large glass lotus pond. These few days were the last days of their flowering season, and a bunch of people were there to take photos. He asked Cunqu if he wanted to take a look.
Cunqu was still watching the dragonfly in front of him. He lightly said, “That was designed by our team.” Qiuyan turned to look at him. He leaned against his chair and said with his head lowered, “It was designed by me…”
--
Teacher Zhuang passed away. When one did the math, she was even younger than Liu Xiaoying by two years. Xiaoying went to attend her funeral at noon. Cunqu sat at the dining table eating a set meal that Qiuyan had ordered for him. When Qiuyan called him, a lot of noise and bustle came from the other end of the call. He asked, “Are you eating?”
Cunqu replied: “I’m eating right now.”
It sounded like Qiuyan ran to somewhere more quiet, and he continued to ask: “Does it suit your taste?”
Cunqu said: “It’s not bad.” He made an effort to finish the majority of his bowl of rice. Right now, he didn’t just want to persist for Xiaoying’s birthday celebration. He also wanted to try his best to become a lover worthy of Zhong Qiuyan.
After Qiuyan heard Cunqu say that, he suddenly flicked Cunqu’s forehead, saying: “‘Obsessive try-hard disorder’, get away from my ge’s body. Ge is already the most perfect person in this world.”
Cunqu held his forehead and laughed.
When Xiaoying returned back home, she was visibly fatigued. She sat down on the couch and massaged her own leg. Qiuyan eagerly ran over and helped her massage her shoulders. Xiaoying rambled on about her and Teacher Zhuang’s revolutionary friendship. The two of them both started off as teachers in a small rural town. Then they were transferred to the city’s First Elementary School. After that, the school was renamed Experimental Elementary School. One became the academic administration director, the other the vice principal, all the way until retirement.
Teacher Zhuang had a loud voice. She was very serious and didn’t date until pretty late. Her husband was the younger cousin of Qi Wenxian, Xiaoying’s husband. The two men passed away one after the other. Teacher Zhuang and Xiaoying had joked that they had “returned to the single life.”
The first year that Cunqu isolated himself, Xiaoying headed over to Teacher Zhuang’s place to cry every time she felt down, then she would return to her place and make food for Cunqu with a smile. When Teacher Zhuang was diagnosed with dementia and was sent to a care facility, Xiaoying stood outside the building and watched her old friend get taken away by the facility’s vehicle. In mental confusion, Teacher Zhuang kept crying. She reached out a hand towards Xiaoying and asked through her tears: “Didn’t mom say it was time for dinner? Where are they taking me? Go tell my mom that I’m being taken away.”
Xiaoying had held her hand with red-rimmed eyes.
Xiaoying came back to her senses after losing herself for a bit in the memories and suddenly said to Qiuyan: “After people get old, they turn into useless baggage.”
Qiuyan said: “Who said that? Liu Xiaoying you are a very useful, very extraordinary lady.”
Xiaoying started laughing and placed her hands on her hips: “Of course.”
She turned her head and saw Cunqu standing at the door watching her. She smiled and said: “Grandma is fine.” She stood up and slowly walked to Cunqu and hugged him, repeating: “Grandma is fine.”
-> Chapter 14
Footnotes
[1] There is no agreed-upon translation for 油条 (Yóutiáo) (wikipedia). I’ve seen “fried dough”, “fried dough stick”, “oil stick,” “fried chinese donut”. Essentially, it’s a large stick of airy dough that’s deep fried. It’s oily, crispy on the outside, chewy on the inside from the gluten. It’s an extremely common and popular breakfast food especially in combination with (and dipped into) soy milk or congee.
[2] Qiuyan jokingly referring to Cunqu as the “kid” here. Qiuyan has this habit of tacking on “our family’s” (我们家) when he’s talking about Cunqu. Rather than its literal meaning, it’s an affectionate descriptor which conveys a little bit of possessiveness too. And it’s not odd to address in third-person someone you are directly talking to in Chinese.
[3] Cicadas are louder when it’s hotter. Not sure why or if it’s actually scientifically true, just something people including me have observed lol
T/N: Is grandma fine though...is grandma fine?? Reading this, I cried. Translating this, I think I cried again. Editing this, I'm about to cry the third time! Something about the thought that Teacher Zhuang and Xiaoying had been friends ever since they were girls, young women, working together in the same place for decades, marrying men who were cousins, settling down and living just one floor away from each other, being close friends, confidantes, practically sisters...and then Xiaoying having to watch her lose herself to the inevitability of dementia, brought away because she couldn't take care of herself, and then eventually passing away. Like, just, fuck. Maybe that's just something that people get used to at this age, but just as a reader I feel so much pain, but also so much fear, because it's not just that you're losing someone so near and dear to you, you're also seeing a version of how you might end up in a few years, a few months.
Table of Contents and Synopsis
<- Chapter 11
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Chapter 12: Instant Noodles with an Egg VI
Zhong Qiuyan held Zhou Cunqu’s hand and the two of them walked out a bit further from Breadfruit Street. That day, Cunqu told Qiuyan that he had a cousin named Zhou Pianyan who was the editor of a children’s magazine. He wanted to help A’Shan submit his story to be published.
But after Qiuyan contacted this cousin on behalf of Cunqu, she said: “Tell him to come see me himself.”
Cunqu didn’t say anything to that. Qiuyan held his hand and said: “No rush. It’s not like A’Shan’s in a hurry. He writes stories to pass the time anyways.”
Their midnight walks felt increasingly more like a date rather than a session to help with Cunqu’s recovery. After the date, Qiuyan always walked Cunqu back to the fifth floor. He would cling to him, hugging his waist and pressing him into his embrace as they kissed. Only after the kiss would he let him go.
Sometimes, Cunqu worried that Qiuyan didn’t have enough time to sleep and might have an accident at work so he would let him stay over in his room. But Qiuyan never just obediently went to sleep, instead, he stuck by Cunqu’s side and pinched and rubbed him here and there.
Because of how early he needed to get up, he sometimes would walk out of Cunqu’s room and run into Liu Xiaoying who was heading out for her morning exercises. He’d quietly sneak out of the condo, wait for Xiaoying to get downstairs, sprint up the stairs with the breakfast he bought, then open the door with Cunqu’s keys. He’d place the food on top of Cunqu’s nightstand and send a text message: Darling, breakfast is on the nightstand, don’t forget to eat it~
When Cunqu read the text upon waking, his first reaction was to find it both amusing and endearing.
When Qiuyan was at work, he didn't text Cunqu much even during the breaks. He didn’t want to get distracted. After finishing his shift in the evening, he carried a bag and went to buy new books for Cunqu. The latter sent a text: Grandma said it’s almost dinner time, are you coming?
Qiuyan replied: I’m buying new books for our clever little bookworm.
Cunqu laughed as he read the text on the phone screen. Qiuyan was capable of giving him hundreds of nicknames in a single day. Cunqu thought for a bit and texted back: Thank you Dudu baby.
Qiuyan cackled when he read the reply.
That night, when they went downstairs for their walk, Cunqu said that he had made up his mind to meet up with Zhou Pianyan. Pianyan had a young child and couldn’t come out to see him at night. So Cunqu could only meet her during the day. To Cunqu, this was another challenge.
Qiuyan said he would accompany him. That way if Pianyan did anything rude, then he wouldn’t be polite either. Cunqu smiled and said: “Yan-jie[1] isn’t like that.”
They decided to meet at Pianyan’s home. Qiuyan planned to drive Cunqu there. He watched Cunqu change his clothes and stand in the bathroom tying up his hair. He tied it, untied it, then tied it again. Cunqu finally asked Qiuyan, a bit exhausted: “Don’t I look quite awful right now?”
Qiuyan closed the bathroom door with his foot and hugged Cunqu as he replied: “You look great.” He then kissed Qiuyan’s cheeks and continued, “Don’t worry.”
That day was the first time Cunqu saw the staircase in the daylight. Grandma’s home was in fact quite old. Rust was prominent on the bars underneath the staircase handrail, and the walls were mottled with small advertisement leaflets. Qiuyan stood a few stairs below him and held out his arm as he said: “The pumpkin carriage has arrived downstairs. Let’s go, little princess Zhou Cunqu.” Cunqu couldn’t help but laugh.
When they reached the first floor, the “Double Yolk Egg” Grandpas turned their heads in tandem. One of them said: “Who is this? Someone from our building?” “From our building?”
“You’ve seen this person before?” “Haven’t seen this person before.”
The two got into Qiuyan’s car together. The two grandpas were still doing question and answer. “Is this new resident a guy or a girl?” “Was that person just now a guy or a girl?”
The car drove through the daytime streets. Cunqu felt that his eyes were having a hard time adjusting to the bright summer afternoon sunlight. Qiuyan played some gentle music in the car and then said: “Look ge. The little ducks in Moonlake Park are finally awake. We’re going to pass by the city’s art museum soon, then we’ll arrive after one more turn.”
Cunqu squinted his eyes and didn’t say anything. When they arrived at Zhou Pianyan’s home, Qiuyan said: “If it’s too much, let’s not go up. It’s not like you are responsible for helping A’Shan submit his story.”
Cunqu stayed silent for a bit, then he turned and smiled at him. He said: “The ball is about to begin, help me down from the carriage.”
As they entered the elevator, Qiuyan could feel that Cunqu was trembling. Twenty-nine years of someone’s life would be filled with countless restless, stuffy, stretches of daytime. Unfortunately in Cunqu’s case, those daytime meomries are anything but pleasant.
When they reached the 10th floor, Qiuyan led Cunqu out of the elevator. The door to condo 1001 was open. When Pianyan settled down, bought this place, and did the interior design, she asked for and followed Cunqu’s advice. So he was rather familiar with the layout of the place. Pianyan was leaning against the wall at the entryway. He smiled at her. Pianyan suddenly covered her mouth and started crying. She couldn’t stop crying. She reached out and hugged Cunqu as she repeatedly said: “You are so thin now, you are…”
The baby in the stroller in the living room also abruptly started crying. Qiuyan ran over and held her. Pianyan finally let go of Cunqu and turned to look at her child. Qiuyan held the five-month-old infant and grinned as he said to Cunqu: “Ge, you want to try holding her? She’s so warm to hug.”
Even by the time Pianyan came over and sat down on the couch she was still ruminating over this, mumbling: “He didn’t say she was cute, or that she feels so light to hold. He said that my daughter feels warm….?”
Qiuyan said: “Hold it hold it, jie. We didn’t come to have a philosophical discussion on this.”
Pianyan took a look at A’Shan’s draft and agreed that the story wasn’t bad and they could try publishing it. She placed down the papers and once again stared at Cunqu. Her eyes reddened again and she lightly said: “I was scared that you wouldn’t be willing to come. In the past two years, I was afraid to even think about you. In the past, was there anything I did wrong?”
Cunqu smiled and said, “Don’t think that way.”
When they were heading back out, Pianyan hugged Cunqu and wouldn’t let go. Qiuyan pried at her hands and said: “Ok that’s enough, enough. He’s about to break.”
Pianyan held her daughter and walked them downstairs. Qiuyan started up his car. Cunqu had his head lowered all the way until they were about to exit this residential community. Then, he turned and looked at Pianyan. His tears suddenly started falling. This was the first time Qiuyan had seen him cry like that and hurriedly drove to a stop at the side of the road.
They stopped there for a long time. Cunqu cried until he was almost out of breath. He trembled as he stared at his own hands which were basically only skin and bones. Qiuyan held his hand with one hand and helped him wipe away his tears with the other. He lightly said: “Don’t cry anymore. Let’s go home and eat something good. What do you want to eat?”
Cunqu kept his head lowered. After a while, he lightly let out a sigh. “Let’s go,” he said.
Qiuyan started up the car again. The scenery outside the car windows rewound itself. They passed the art museum, Moonlake Park. Cunqu stared blankly at the row of pig bobbleheads. He suddenly said: “I want to eat instant noodles.”
Qiuyan glanced at him and said: “No problem. Whatever flavor you want, we have it.”
Cunqu wiped away the tear stains on his face and said: “And I want to add a fried egg on top.”
Qiuyan laughed, “Even if you wanted to add my heart, I would be ok with it.”
-> Chapter 13
Footnotes
[1] Zhou Pianyan is his older cousin, and it’s perfectly normal to refer to older female cousins that aren’t your actual sisters (or any slightly older female you’re close to) as “jie” aka older sister. Same concept as “ge” aka older brother. Also Qiuyan shortens “Pianyan” to “Yan.” Side note, while I translated all the names in the anglicized fashion of a single string as the first name, it’s more accurate to Chinese to actually write them as separate syllables because each Chinese character maps to one syllable. For example, Pian Yan instead of Pianyan. Same for Qiu Yan, Cun Qu, Xiao Ying, etc.
Table of Contents and Synopsis
<- Chapter 10
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Chapter 11: Instant Noodles with an Egg V
After driving back to his place, Qiuyan called Cunqu. Cunqu picked up. Qiuyan was lying on his stomach on his bed with both legs sticking up. He laughed with a “hehe” and said: “This is our first day together. Ge, if it wasn’t this late, I would have gone downstairs and beat a gong and some drums to announce this good news to the world.”
Cunqu leaned against the backboard of his bed and laughed with him. Qiuyan kept dumbly laughing “hehe” from his end until Cunqu said he wanted to hang up and go to sleep. Qiuyan flopped upright like a carp leaping out of the water and reluctantly said: “Ah, you’re already going to sleep? Ge, how about I drive back to see you. You have to open the door for me.”
Cunqu said from his end of the call: “Go and take a cold shower to clear your head. You have to go to work in a few hours.”
Qiuyan replied “Oh” with dissatisfaction. Then he really went and took a cold shower.
The next day, Qiuyan brought a few dishes Cunqu liked and whistled as he walked up to the fifth floor. He didn’t help Liu Xiaoying set the table like usual, but instead just dropped off the meal boxes and immediately entered Cunqu’s room.
Xiaoying turned her head to say something to him, only to see a few transparent plastic takeout boxes on the dining table. Qiuyan sat at the edge of the bed and pulled Cunqu into his arms. He happily asked: “Did you miss me?”
Cunqu couldn’t catch his breath in the tight hug. Qiuyan abruptly let go and fished out his phone to show Cunqu that he had changed his contact information to “Mine” followed by a heart emoji. He asked Cunqu what he thought. Cunqu nodded and said: “Mmh. Rather cheesy.”
Qiuyan grumbled: “How is it cheesy. This 'Mine' implies ‘My love’, you are ‘my love’, you know?”
Cunqu laughed and said: “I’m getting goosebumps.”
During dinner, Xiaoying and Qiuyan chattered about unimportant matters as usual. Halfway through, when Xiaoying got up to get a ladle from the kitchen, Qiuyan suddenly turned and smacked a kiss on Cunqu’s cheek.
When Xiaoying turned back around, Cunqu was glaring at Qiuyan. The latter, shaking his leg, beamed as he passed him some shrimp with his chopsticks.
--
The night when Qiuyan headed back to his village to attend A’Shan’s wedding, Cunqu sat on his bed and stared blankly at his phone screen. Qiuyan already called him earlier and told him that he needed to spend the night in the village and couldn’t come to find him. After the call, he texted him the same thing. He ended his text with numerous “kiss kiss” emojis.
Cunqu was a bit unaccustomed to not being able to see Qiuyan at night. When he was in a relationship in college, the two of them had the same major and their date location was always the library where they would bury their heads and study. It felt more like they were study buddies rather than a couple. Only when he had a problem he couldn’t solve, he’d turn and ask his boyfriend first. At this point, he could no longer remember who confessed to whom. But this type of relationship somehow managed to uneventfully last almost 2 years; it’s quite miraculous.
Cunqu thought for a while and then sent a text: Did you arrive home?
Qiuyan didn’t look at his phone. He headed out late and when he arrived at the village, the pre-meal firecrackers had already been set off. Qiuyan squeezed into the banquet hall and found Qiu Xuemei between the ten bustling banquet tables. He called out: “Mom.”
Xuemei, crunching on some melon seeds, furrowed her eyebrows and asked: “Who are you? My son’s been missing for months, his whereabouts completely unknown. How come there’s suddenly this person calling me mom now?”
The people at her table laughed. Qiuyan naturally sat down next to her and pulled at her hand. “I’ve been busy.”
Xuemei replied: “Yes, I know. If the city didn’t have you driving their buses, the entire public transportation system would collapse.”
Qiuyan pointed at his dad who was playing Fight the Landlord to the side and said to him: “Zhong Baocheng can you do something about your wife. She’s all mocking and ridicule as soon as I walk up.”
Baocheng mumbled something and continued staring at the cards on his screen.
The windows of the banquet hall were covered with the cutout of the character ‘joy’; the food consisted of the common dishes for a village banquet. A’Shan’s wedding was extremely simple. He and his wife were from the same village; the two families’ homes were close enough that they didn’t even need to drive. So the steps that could be skipped were skipped. When A’Shan and his wife came out to make a toast, Da Yu followed them from behind and helped pour the alcohol and hold the glasses.
After the banquet dispersed, A’Shan took off his suit jacket and draped it on one shoulder, then he handed Qiuyan and Da Yu each a cigarette. The three of them leaned against the wall in the banquet hall’s back garden and silently stared at the firecracker fragments all over the ground. A’Shan suddenly spoke up: “The days pass so quick.”
Da Yu said: “It feels like only yesterday when we were naked and catching fish with bare hands in a creek. But today A’Shan got married.”
A’Shan patted Qiuyan and said: “Ay, you guys know I’m not good with words. But I've been meaning to thank you two for all these years. If not for you two things, my heart and body probably won’t be able to grow up this healthily.”
Da Yu turned and asked Qiuyan: “Is he being serious or sarcastic right now?”
Qiuyan replied: “His thanks sure sounds like an insult.”
The three looked at each other and started laughing. After a while, Qiuyan put out his cigarette. He stood in front of Da Yu and A’Shan, cleared his throat, and said: “Just in time, let me use the opportunity of A’Shan’s joyful day and announce my own joyful news.”
Da Yu stretched out his hand towards him, gesturing a “do what you will.”
Qiuyan said: “Uhm, so I’m in a relationship.” After he said that, his face suddenly flushed red. Da Yu and A’Shan were about to clap, but Qiuyan continued: “I’m dating Zhou Cunqu.”
He rubbed his nose and jumped up a bit in happiness. Da Yu and A’Shan looked at each other and shrunk back the hands they were about to clap with.
This news was far too shocking. The next time Da Yu and A’Shan sat down at Liu Xiaoying’s dining table their eyes were still round with shock. They watched Qiuyan circle around Cunqu like a puppy. Finally, Cunqu washed his hands in the bathroom, wiped them dry, and sat at the dining table. And so Qiuyan finally sat down as well.
Qiuyan was too far over the moon to realize that suddenly learning that someone you’ve been good brothers with for over 20 years was dating another man was explosive news of the atomic bomb level. Da Yu, holding his rice bowl, finally let out a sigh and said to Cunqu: “Life is truly full of surprises.”
Cunqu looked back at him.
After dinner, Xiaoying headed downstairs to chat with her friends. The four of them were still sitting at the dining table. Da Yu said: “We don’t discriminate. It’s just that we’re a bit shocked. Our hair salon’s hairdresser A’Wen is also gay. Speaking of which, is it just me who’s not improving at work? I’m still left behind.”
Cunqu took a sip of water and slowly said: “You’ve studied for two years, but you are still washing hair. Maybe it’s not an issue with your skills but with your environment. Why don’t you consider a suitable trade school? Studying for a year should be enough.”
The Mulberry Garden brothers looked at each other, and they suddenly realized that the logic was this simple all along.
After they dispersed, Qiuyan hugged Cunqu in his room. Pressing his cheek against Cunqu’s, he said: “My boyfriend’s brain works so well.”
Cunqu flipped through the papers in his hands. A’Shan gave him the short story he wrote. Although he looked big and burly, he had actually been writing children’s stories in secret. Moreover, the stories were quite interesting. Qiuyan placed his head on top of Cunqu’s shoulder and looked at what A’Shan wrote: “A long long time ago, there was a little boy. The little boy turned into a tree bit by bit. At first, his arm turned into a tree branch, then his ears grew flowers. His parents thought he was a monster and abandoned him. The little boy continued to grow, and his body also slowly sprouted. Everyone called him a ‘tree-person monster.’ One day on his way to school, he ran into two little boys who also sprouted branches, leaves, and flowers. That day was probably the happiest day of his life. He knew that he wasn’t the only monster. The world had people who were born as ‘tree people.’
After many years, the little boy had grown into a towering evergreen tree, standing forever atop a scenic hill. The two other boys hadn’t. The branches, leaves, and flowers from before were things that they stuck onto their bodies. But they would visit the big tree every year, sit down at its roots, and chat for a very long time…”
A’Shan’s father had passed away very early on. His mother left the village after he finished kindergarten and never returned. Starting from middle school, he didn’t give money for the milk boxes between classes. Every day when it came time to get milk, A’Shan would hide beneath the ping pong table in the little playground. Qiuyan and A’Shan would shout and run to find him and insist on squeezing beside him underneath the ping-pong table. A’Shan knew they had milk boxes to pick up but they never drank their milk in front of him.
That day when he was leaving Liu Xiaoying’s place, A’Shan handed the story to Cunqu. Then he quietly said to Cunqu: “Ge, I feel like we are so lucky.”
