WARNING!: nsfw, smut, explicit content.
summary: Castiel finally confesses his feelings to you after a long time. What will you do after that?? ;)
pairing: Castiel X reader
notes: hiii! this is my very first real smut like real explicit one so I wasn’t sure about posting it but here we are. Sorry for not posting tho but school is driving me crazy. If you notice any mistake feel free to tell me in the comments (english isn’t my first language, please be kind)❤️
Everything is so quiet it almost feels loud in your room.
Castiel stands — as usual — too close to you.
But still, he makes you nervous.
There’s been tension between you for a long time, and now it feels impossible to ignore it.
“I don’t know how to keep doing this,” he murmurs.
“What do you mean?” you ask.
Your heart starts beating faster.
“Being this close to you is… difficult.”
“I don’t trust myself around you anymore.”
You forget how to breathe for a moment.
“Why are you telling me this now?”
“Because I’ve wanted you longer than I should have,” he says quietly — almost like he’s ashamed.
His gaze drops — first to your eyes, then to your lips.
“Tell me to stop,” Castiel says softly.
“Because if you don’t,” he adds
“I’ve tried to ignore this,” he admits.
“I told myself it would pass. That wanting you was just… another human complication.”
“You should have told me sooner.”
He lets out a quiet, bitter laugh.
“And risk ruining whatever this is?”
He gestures vaguely between you.
“I couldn’t bear the thought of you pulling away.”
Now there’s barely any space left.
“What if I never wanted to?” you ask.
His eyes snap back to yours.
“Don’t say that unless you mean it,” he murmurs.
“I’m holding myself together by very thin threads.”
Your hand lifts — hesitant — and stops just before touching his chest.
“You don’t understand,” he whispers.
“If I touch you… I won’t want to stop.”
You finally place your hand on him.
“You don’t know what you do to me…” Castiel says quietly.
“Then tell me” you whisper.
“You make it hard to think,” he admits.
“Hard to remember why I’m supposed to stay distant.”
He doesn’t answer right away.
When he finally speaks, it’s barely a sound.
You take a small step closer.
“Then why are you still standing there?” you ask.
“Because I’m afraid,” he says.
“If I let myself want you openly… I won’t know how to stop.”
Your fingers curl slightly against his shirt.
“Castiel,” you murmur, “I’m right here.”
He closes his eyes for a second.
“Say it again.” he whispers.
“That you’re here,” he says.
“that this isn’t just in my head.”
You lean in, close enough that your breath brushes his lips.
“I’m here,” you repeat softly.
“You have no idea how long I’ve needed to hear that.”
You barely touch him — just your fingers grazing his wrist.
“Is this okay?” he asks immediately.
Only then does he moves closer — slowly, carefully — like he’s afraid you might disappear.
“If this is a mistake,” he murmurs,
“it’s one I’ve already made a thousand times in my thoughts.”
“Then maybe it’s time you stop thinking so much.”
He hesitates only for a heartbeat.
The kiss is slow, uncertain.
When your lips meet, he exhales against your mouth, a quiet sound that feels like relief.
He pulls back almost immediately.
His forehead rests against yours.
“I’m sorry,” he whispers.
“I just— I needed to know what it felt like.”
He swallows, eyes searching yours.
“I’ve been holding this in for so long,” he admits.
“Convincing myself I could endure it.”
His hand tightens slightly at his side, restrained.
“But every time you’re near,” he continues,
“I want you in ways that make me feel… selfish.”
“You’re allowed to want things, Cas.”
“That’s the problem,” he murmurs.
“I need your voice,” he says.
“Your presence. The way you look at me like I’m enough.”
Your fingers brush his sleeve.
“Say my name again,” he whispers.
“Again,” he asks, almost pleading.
He leans in once more, pressing his lips to yours — this time with need, not doubt.
When he pulls away, his voice trembles.
“I don’t know how to be distant from you anymore,” he confesses.
“And I don’t think I want to learn.”
You don’t wait for him to close the distance this time.
Your hand finds his coat first, fingers curling into the fabric.
Not because he doesn’t want it —
but because he’s afraid of how much he does.
“Look at me,” you say softly.
You tilt your head, just slightly.
“I’ve felt it too,” you admit.
“Every time you stand too close. Every time you say my name like it matters.”
“It does.” he murmurs immediately.
You smile — gentle, certain.
Castiel inhales sharply, like he wasn’t prepared — and then he melts into it.
His hands hover for a second, unsure.
You guide one to your waist.
“It’s okay,” you whisper against his lips.
He follows your lead, kissing you back slowly, deeply — like he’s memorizing you.
When you pull back, his eyes are dark, searching.
“You don’t know what you’re doing to me,” he confesses quietly.
You brush your thumb along his jaw.
“If you ask me to stop—” he starts.
His voice drops to almost nothing.
“I’ve waited,” he admits.
“I would have waited forever.”
“You don’t have to anymore.”
And when you kiss him again, he follows —
Castiel’s hands come to you this time — careful and warm — caressing your waist.
“I don’t know how to want you quietly,” he admits.
“There’s nothing quiet about the way you make me feel.”
You lean in, your lips brushing his cheek, his jaw, the corner of his mouth.
“You don’t have to be quiet,” you murmur.
“let me hear how much you want me.”
That’s when he kisses you again.
Your tongues start to explore each other’s mouths
There’s still silence — the only noise you can hear is the sound of your kisses.
You slide your hand into his hair while you kiss him harder, making him moan quietly.
“I… I can’t stop looking at you,” he murmurs, pulling your shirt off gently, his eyes dark with need. “You’re perfect…”
Your lips find his again, slower this time, tasting, exploring, letting the kiss say what words never could.
“You feel… incredible,” he breathes, and it sends a shiver down your spine.
Both of you move with care, shedding layers of clothing. The air around you gets heavier, warmer, more intimate.
You lie down on the bed together, still so close — unable to break the contact between your bodies.
You’re completely naked, touching each other, exploring and discovering one another, memorizing every detail.
Castiel can’t take his eyes off you.
You gently wrap your hand around his erection, brushing your thumb over the bead of precum already gathered at the tip.
Then you start stroking him slowly, back and forth, drawing soft moans from his lips — sounds that feel like music to your ears.
He reaches for you too, touching you — and from the very first moment his touch makes pleasure bloom through you.
“You’re so wet,” he murmurs.
He wants to tease you further with his words — and it’s driving you crazy.
“Castiel—” you say, breathless.
He leans closer, his lips brushing your ear.
“I need to hear it again,” he murmurs.
“Say my name like you mean it.”
His breath hitches when you do — like that single word is anchoring him to you.
“I need you-” you say, almost shaking from pleasure.
“As you wish” Castiel replies.
His voice is extremely arousing and deep now.
He grips your hips and lifts you effortlessly, as if you weigh nothing at all.
He straddles you over him and pushes into you slowly.
You keep kissing as he moves inside you, picking up the pace with every thrust.
The room fills with soft, breathless moans.
He shifts you again, rolling you beneath him, hovering over you.
“Do you like the way I fuck you?” he asks, his voice is sure. He already knows the answer.
“Yes, Cas— please don’t stop-” you moan, your nails digging into his back.
“You look so beautiful from here…”
You’re both close now. You lock eyes, sharing a deep, intense kiss — full of emotion, desire, and need to belong to each other.
“I’m almost there,” Castiel says, his voice trembling.
“Cum inside me… let go for me, my angel.”
Hearing you say that pushes him over the edge — and you follow right after.
His eyes glow blue as he comes. You didn’t know that could happen, but discovering it like this feels breathtaking.
Castiel collapses beside you on the bed, and once your breathing finally steadies, he takes your hand.
“You’re divine,” he says softly.
“And making love to you—”
“—it’s incredible. It’s better than Heaven.”
You smile, and without realizing it, a tear slips down your cheek.
“You’re so sweet,” he murmurs, brushing it away with his thumb.
“I didn’t mean to make you cry. I’m sorry.”
Those were pure tears of happiness.
“I love you, Cas” you whisper — It’s the only thing you’re able to say.
“I love you too.” He kisses your forehead after saying it.
You hold each other tightly.
You feel safe and protected in his arms.
You stay like that until you fall asleep, while Castiel keeps you close all night long, watching over you.
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