@anonymouspen - Tumblr Blog

fate

via weheartit

sotick

So happy this year is ending

phaxes

via weheartit

prospects

phaxes

by derek michael

artyprose-deactivated20200707

🌻 artwork by artyprose // ig: @jesacyte

anonymouspen

““I’m sorry I broke your heart.” I could feel the lie burning through my throat. “Don’t apologize for something that needed to be done.” “What do you mean?” “I deserved it. That way, I could feel what you felt every time I rejected your calls, snubbed off your texts. or when I lied to you and pretending like everything was alright when it wasn’t. I kept putting broken bricks on top of on another. And I blamed you once they collapsed. I needed it as my wake up call, I suppose.” “But, nobody deserves to have their heart broken by someone they love.” “That’s why I deserve it, because I broke yours too.””

— (via https-absent)

heartcountry

i couldn’t fill the absence so i became it. i did a good job and no one noticed when i left a room. eventually someone did and he saw the important things. i knew i lost him when he stopped looking for me first and then eventually stopped looking for me at all. and i couldn’t blame him because i told him to let me go and i prayed for someone better than me to love him, to read to him, to write to him, to collect the songs that he would fall in love with most. and i prayed a thousand times over that he could be happy with someone else and he was. and my heart broke anyway. and i tried to walk into a room without first noticing the empty parts of it but it was like a reflex. i couldn’t stop myself. i held the hands of lost things. i remembered how an old friend of mine used to believe in second chances right before the summer she stopped believing in everything. and this is all to say, he’s not a bad guy. he did nothing wrong. he only ruined love for me because he was good at it and i can’t look at anyone else without seeing the parts of him that are missing. which is the part i can’t forgive him for. which is the part no one else can forgive me for.

luvoratorrrrrrrrrry

artyprose-deactivated20200707

The cold washed away the clouds and brought nostalgia to my September. Reminiscing the past feels like a fever. I want to surrender. But I’m near the end now, it’s getting closer. So I’ll just breathe in the cold, so I can generate warmth, like how you told me, I should be stronger than what’s not around —anymore.