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Imagine Sherlock on Tinder.

#sherlock #tinder #howeverinprobable

I've never tasted a jalapeño... Is it like cabbage?

Facts.

#facts.#definitelylikecabbage #ipromise

“My eyeballs don’t want me to be here!”

#tired #whaaat #agreed #mascara

Favorite Quote from last night:

“Assault is assault, no matter how battered, YEAH! DOCTOR SEUSS THAT SUCKER!”

#doctorsuess #yaaaaas #battery #assault #pancakes

I really want to wear my fancy bra and matching undies to potluck night and just be happy all day. Then when anyone asks me why I'm so happy I'll just -hehehehehehe

You know you’ve gotten old when... The main characters in the Disney films you watched as a kid are now younger than you.

#disney #old #ugh #movies #youngin #imsuchachild #imgettingold

The weirdest part about going to the bathroom is when your cat decides to join you.

#cats #bathroom #iwanttopeealone #whaaat #weird

The point of paintball:

To shoot the people you don’t necessarily like, without actually killing them.

#paintball #frustrating #people #angry #takingitoutonsomeoneelse #yaaaas

Am I the only one who, when wearing mascara/eyeliner, likes to dramatically sing Gotye's Somebody That I Used To Know in the shower as the black essence drips down my face?

#Gotye #eyeliner #mascara #face #blackooze

Me: what are you doin'? Sibling: Playin' a game... What are you doin'? Me: Livin' my life. Sibling: *whispers* Respect.

#siblings #yaaas #perfect #r.e.s.p.e.c.t.

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