ᯓ★ self shippers who can’t indulge with their f/o as much as they want because their health gets in the way
ᯓ★ self shippers who suffer yet can’t get help or a proper diagnosis because the healthcare system sucks
ᯓ★ self shippers who have a hard time being active in the community for various reasons (low energy/fatigue, burnout, pain flareups, etc.) despite wanting to
you are seen. you are loved. i’m glad you’re here, no matter how frequent or infrequent you pop in. thank you for being part of our community.
your f/os love you so much, and i know they’re beyond happy to support you through anything and everything.
you won’t walk this exhausting path alone. they won’t let that happen.
thank you @/silcosbunny for the reminder that disability pride month is upon us!!
My Bungou Stray Dogs s/i lore (and beginning of my and Nikolai's relationship!) I finally got around to finishing it!
CW: dark thoughts, religious imagery, mentions of sa!
A/N: Critisism is welcome!!! I'm still getting comfortable posting, especially about my yumeship. (and NONE of my fics are x reader!! plz dont ask me to make this x reader!!)
Anastasia is a 21-year-old female who grew up in the southwestern part of Russia in a town called Syrskoe (Сырское). Born to an alcoholic mother and a father who ran a church, she grew up confused. Her mother shamed her entire existence growing up, but her father treated her as an angel, and that’s how the town saw her. Ana went to the church almost daily and saw it not only as a place of worship, but as a place of comfort. She was not a nun, and did not plan on it, for she was the town’s angel. Ana spent most of her time cleaning the church and praying, but often, too, listening to the people. Their cries and prayers for hope, love, fertility, hoping for something that she had no control over. She felt responsible. The people since she was born have treated her like their savior, like the thing that will save their very being.
Now, growing up in a world where abilities (powers) exist in plenty of people, when she gained her ability, the town was unsurprised, but suddenly started amping their requests, and sometimes even begging for forgiveness, finding her in the middle of the day simply to put their troubles on this young girl, who they believed to be a real angel sent from heaven. With wings of pure white feathers and remarkable size, and a halo dripping of gold, her father was also very impressed.
Unfortunately, though, as the girl got older, she started seeing weird things with the people of the town, including her father. As she developed, her father grew closer, touchier, but claimed it was all for God, he was just cleansing her for the people. Ana’s mother revered her for it, fighting with not only her father, but her as well. One night, after coming home from a church confessional, Ana was making dinner. Her father comes near and thanks her for being such an angel. It wasn’t unusual; he always praised her. But he talks with venom in his teeth. Tells the girl that she would make a better wife than her mother ever was, which made her freeze. She does nothing, unsure of what to say or do, so she just smiles and thanks him. But he doesn’t stop saying it for the next few nights, which keeps the girl up at night. Cries fill her room at night, and her wings droop with the weight of the world. The town, the people and their problems, her father wanted to marry her and she was confused. So, on the night of her 17th birthday, without thinking, she runs. She runs far. She runs for hours, wherever her feet would take her. Eventually she ends up in the city. And from the city she gets a job. She finds she is clueless; what she knew of that small town is nothing when she is in the city. Here, the men are crude and the women are jealous. Anastasia did not know what to say or think, only silently praying they would get better. Time passes and eventually she has enough money to sneak out of the country. So, at night, she sneaks on a cargo ship headed for Japan. She prays for forgiveness as if something would happen to save her from the life she left.
2-year timeskip!!
Anastasia is 19 when she is found in her small apartment, reading her bible that she was gifted by someone she met along the way. Suddenly, her world goes black and she’s asleep. When she wakes up, she’s in a dark room, dimly lit. It looks like a meeting room, minus the long table and plenty of chairs. The only chair is the one she's sitting in, and the one on the complete opposite side of the room. A man, very clearly not from here, sits in the opposite chair. She was smart enough to know struggling would just make it worse. The man speaks low; a Russian accent spills. She tilts her head, not having heard a Russian accent in so long, she almost forgets to breathe hearing it. But his words are menacing. He wants her to join his organization. It's for the better of the world. Her ability is what they need to achieve their goal.
And so, she joins. The man had a fascination with her. And she soon became an example of what they were called. The Decay of Angels. And eventually, she became a machine. Her whole perspective changed. The world was cruel. People were ruthless and would do anything to please themselves. She started seeing things for what they are rather than a thing to fix, as much as she may pray for them to get better. She learns to use her power to lure and lull, and when she Fyodor helped her reach her full potential? She was sent on a mission. A partner mission, but with someone she had never worked with before. A man, standing 6 feet tall, in clown attire and a card covering his left eye. He is interesting to look at. And he looms, which makes the girl nervous.
Find a man, one who killed a family, and restore peace and order. As Fyodor says, “Man is sinful and foolish... Even if they know it is all an artifice, they cannot help but kill each other. Someone must purify them for those sins.” and I have to agree. To commit crime is to sin, and when you sin, you must repent. If you do not repent? Well, someone must purify you.
The mission went smoothly. She finds that her partner’s name is Nikolai. A Ukrainian man with the personality of an annoying, yet deranged, teenage boy. He was in no way normal, but he claims to be sane. She finds she cannot blame him. But the two make a great pair. Plus, Anastasia doesn’t have to get her hands dirty, meaning she does not need to repent for her sins; she is protecting.
For the next few months, Nikolai and Anastasia go on missions together often. Fyodor says they make it more efficient. But Anastasia thinks otherwise. Although eventually, she finds herself thinking about the theatrical man more often. But she questions herself. She could never feel free again; everything comes at a cost. So why does she become happier whenever he seems to be around?
This continues for another few months before Anastasia realizes she’s fallen in love. And the one she’s fallen in love with? The same man she thought was annoying and complained to Fyodor about constantly. Fyodor had stopped her in the middle of her complaining and questioned her.
“Well, Anastasia, how can you hate a man you so clearly seek attention from?”
Anastasia stopped in her tracks, where she was pacing before, and looks at Fyodor. Then on the floor, silent. Thinking.
“...I do not... Do I really?”
“My dear, you really need to pay more attention,” He sighs, crossing his legs and flipping a page in the book he seemed to be “reading”.
“You are not the only one in this situation.”
“What does that even mean?!” Anastasia shrieks, watching Fyodor smile, not giving any more information. Ana groans and leaves the room, left to sit with her thoughts and the words Fyodor has left her with.
Days later, Nikolai keeps trying to annoy her. But instead of bringing random objects like mice, or bullets, or other random items, she does not want to know where he got them from. No, this time, Nikolai has brought flowers.
Anastasia blinks, staring at the flowers. White lilies. A lump forms in her throat. Those were her favorites. Where did he get them? And why..? Ever since she left the church behind, she never wanted to touch them again, fearing the meaning would haunt her.
“Oh my! Dear dove, are you scared?” Nikolai grins, his eyes dulling as he holds out the flowers in front of her. “Hehe, I never wanted to... But I do like that look on your face. You’re so cute when you don’t know what to say.”
“W... What is this?” She asks. Finally, looking up at Nikolai, slightly flustered yet still frightened.
“A confession, dearest. Must you be so clueless?” He giggles, tilting his head like a puppy.
“Confession... to me?” She asks stupidly.
“Who else?” Nikolai quirks a brow, still holding the lilies.
“Ah... good question. Well...” Ana pauses, staring at the lilies before reaching out to take them, her palms burning as she lays them in her lap, extremely careful.
“How did you know?” she questions.
“There’s a lot I know about you that you’ve never mentioned,” He gives a mischievous grin, “Like how you cry during movies, and you prefer rock but listen to classical to appease everyone else here, and how you fantasize about o-”
“NIKOLAI!!” She screams, covering his mouth with her hands and looking around. She screams again when she feels him lick her palm, retreating it. She winces as if hurt, but clearly, she wasn’t.
“So? Do I need to quiz you like everyone else to get you to admit you’ve fallen in love with little ‘ol me?” He hums, hooking his finger under Ana’s chin and lifting her head to look at him properly.
“Why are you like this...” Ana whines, looking away. When she looks back, she hesitates before shyly responding, “You know I like you.”
“Hehe, prove it.” Nikolai smirks, trying to play games now. He suddenly gets close to her face, bending far to match her short stature. He gets teasingly close, but not close enough.
Nikolai waited with a devious expression for her to grow impatient and finally make the final move. And he learns fast that Ana can be impatient. Because just a moment later she cups his face with both hands and pulls him infinitely closer, slotting her lips into his.
And they live happily ever after! Jk I just got tired and.... probably wont finish this! But give me little snippets in the comments or my asks that you’d like to see me write for me and Nikolai ꒰ ˶• ༝ •˶꒱
Albedo X Reader but not really cuz its very specific for my moot :3
You were hanging out at Albedo’s camp in Dragonspine, for once it was just you two. No one else, which you enjoyed quite a lot. You got excited hearing Albedo call out for you. “ Ana! Can you come here, I need a favor” His voice gentle but containing a hint of excitement. As you got up to walk toward the spot he had his lab table set up, as well as a canvas. You tilt your head slightly to the side curious as to what he needed you for. He smiled as he spoke to you. “ So, I was thinking that the landscape here is gorgeous, but I need a focus for my painting. So would you be a dear and sit up there for me?” You nodded, and did what he had asked. He walked over there to guide you into the pose he had in mind. His gloved hands running over your dress, and cool skin. You were quite thin, which Albedo enjoyed, you were a wonderful muse for him. Especially when trying new posing. He also just enjoyed how you felt small against him, considering he wasn’t that big himself. Once he got you in the pose that he desired he went toward the canvas once again. Starting on the painting, sketching you delicately, making sure to get the details in your dress perfectly done. You truly were a work of art in his eyes. It was proved by how many paintings of you was in his lab. He truly did find you beautiful, and perfect the way you were. When the painting was finishing up he went toward you on the table and assisted you off the table. He knew you could do it yourself, he just wanted an excuse to touch you. He guided you over to the painting, smiling sweetly at you as he asked “Well, do you approve of it?” You nodded lightly, grinning, he did a beautiful job, he always seemed to make you look angelic in his paintings. No wonder he called you Angel.
Anastasia is a 21-year-old botanist originally from Snezhnaya, but moved to Dragonspine when she turned 19. She was previously a performer, who danced and sang, but retired very early. She still dances and sings very often, but she doesn’t perform for the public, living in a very unlivable area. She is an anemo healer; she received her vision when she was 14 after losing both of her parents. She was forced to perform to make money, which wasn’t horrible considering it was her greatest talent, and favorite hobby, but it did bring some unwanted crowds occasionally.
Anastasia is a quiet soul, a girl who does what her heart tells her to. A girl with a sweet personality, but a hidden longing for someone close, someone sweet who would encourage her brighter side, where she wishes to feel freer. She spends a lot of her time at the docks in Wyrmrest Valley, dancing and singing lullabies to all the nearby animals, who often gather nearby. Anastasia often encounters animals that need healing, and she does exactly that. Her vision allows her to heal physical wounds, on both humans and animals, although she is more experienced with animals.
She met Albedo when she was 20, he was watching from afar while she was healing a cub, singing a soft lullaby to soothe the baby’s cries. He was supposed to be grabbing herbs for his upcoming experiments but couldn’t help but notice the beautiful song nearby. It was unusual for people to come by during this time of year, so he went to check it out, and ended up becoming interested immediately once he noticed the cub on her lap. He called out gently and sat next to her while introducing himself. They got along immediately, and continued to find each other often, until eventually, realizing their feelings were a lot different than what they were saying to each other.
(High school au!) F/o who got into fights with the kids who would make fun of you. Even if you try to ignore it, they find out and talk to the person. Maybe aggressively, maybe calmly. But they're willing to protect you no matter the cost, as long as you're happy.
by the way , your f/o would never let you feel lonely .
for yumeshippers who often feel alone , left out , ignored , or anything of the sort . ♡
spent nights in your room crying alone with nobody to comfort you ? those nights dont happen anymore <3 your f/o sits besides you on the floor , holding you and letting you cry. they'll whisper sweet words to you and rub your back in small circles. theyll sit and listen and hold your hand as they do so. your sadness isn't invisible anymore , you dont need to hide it or feel lonely. they're there to cheer you up , always.
ever found yourself sitting alone at lunch, at an event, or anything else ? your f/o immediately finds you and starts talking to you excitedly. they sit down next to you and suddenly you dont feel like youre in a bubble. they'll eat lunch with you , or dance with you , or talk with you , or whatever else for as long as they can. they love your presence and its easy to tell they want to be with you in that moment
do you get pushed out of circles of people, ignored in convos, etc ? your f/o notices when it happens. maybe you've gone off to sit against a wall, understanding when you're not wanted. they notice you sitting alone and they'll come find you. maybe they notice how the circle slowly encloses and how you're pushed out , or how you've slowly gone quiet. they make a point to include you, asking you your thoughts and encouraging you to keep saying what you were saying before. no matter what , they're more interested in talking to you than anyone else in the room. you're not a discarded friend to them , you're someone they adore and want to hear more from.
ever been part of a friend group but not IN one , feeling like you dont belong or you're just the floater friend ? well, your f/o never makes you feel like that. with them, you're an integral part of the group. whether its just the two of you, or many people, they notice when you're gone, when you're off, when you're quiet. you're important in their group, you're wanted there. you're not just someone who's fun sometimes to them , you are a core part of the friend group and they will always choose you first.
if you have a group project , your f/o seeks you out in the room first. when your teacher announces that you get to choose your partners, they silently give you a look that says "me and you ?" , and they mean it. when youre able to go choose your partners, they instantly run to your desk. no more hesitantly asking groups if you can join , no more pairing up with the kids who look at you weird , no more feeling like a sore thumb in the project. they're choosing you first for every single thing. you work together like equals, and they value your opinion. it's not awkward anymore with them.
your f/o always seeks you out in a room. they'll always choose you first for everything. you'll always have a best friend, a partner, someone to sit with, someone to talk to, someone who cares. youre not alone anymore and they make sure of that. no more long nights crying yourself to sleep. no more wishing you had real friends. no more feeling left out of groups. no more awkward conversations, or deflated silences, or sentences that trail off. they're here , they're listening, and they care. you are not alone anymore ♡
shadow milk doubles , proship/darkship/adjacent dni ! ! your f/o loves you so much and always has you on their mind ﾟ+. ♡ﾟ(´▽`人)
It's been a long prosses but I'm happy to say
♡ my commissions are open! ♡
I can draw ocs, yumeships, general ships and canon characters, and I'd love to bring your little guys to life ♡ Please take a look through the options and feel free to dm me if you have any questions!
୨୧ My yumeship commissions start at 2 people, but extra can be added for only 5 USD!! ( I got you poly yumeshippers trust I know)
୨୧ yumeships and ocs are so so welcome!!!
Thank you for your support! ♡
f/o that understands why you aren’t happy for your friends right now and doesn’t villainise you for it.
f/o that sees all the stress and the pressure and the anxiety you’re under, and also sees the way you’ve asked nicely for people to give you the space to feel that, and that they aren’t listening.
f/o who holds you as you sob and bawl because everyone’s got it so good but you’re so bogged down by your situation. who combs their hands through your hair when someone rubs in your face yet again their joy while you race to meet deadlines, to sort situations out, to feel okay again.
“Baby it’s okay, you can’t be happy for everyone all of the time. Not when you feel like this, and certainly not when you’ve asked people to wait”
they say as they bring you tea as you work and rub your shoulders, and help you through your challenges.
f/o that turns your phone off when someone yet again violates your boundary and rants with you about such.
f/o who is okay with you not being 110% positive all of the time. they know you need a break from celebrating everyone’s joy for just one moment while you get through this.
{ on a real, im really on a crunch to finish my thesis and submit my degree and people are TESTING ME this week with their joyous and whimsy nature despite me asking people to just give me a bit of space while i finish my degree. let me have 2 weeks of being a mardarse and then I’ll be happy for you…}
It’s late when I get off the phone with friends, finally getting tired when I decide I needed to recharge. And by recharge, I mean be near Ronin for a little bit before eventually either falling asleep on him or dragging him to bed. I get up from my spot at my desk and stretch my arms over my head, grabbing my blanket after. My eyes fixate on the half-open door from when Ronin left to go to work in the garage for a little bit. His computer pings with messages from the slaughterhouse losers, and I laugh, usually he’d be around for it all.
I rest on the door frame for a second, looking down at the hall to the garage and thinking of whether to bother him. But it was difficult for me to sleep without him. Usually when I sleep without him it was due to my body giving up, not up to me, but still affecting me. Without thinking more, my feet drag me to the garage, and I slowly open the door; the garage lights dim, and the garage bell chimes gently. I look around until I find Ronin on the other side of the car, which he appears to be working on. My eyes droop as my body slowly gives up until I make it to him, hugging him from behind. I did not mind the fact that my blanket was dragging on the dirt-covered floor.
“Hey baby, whatcha doin’?” He laughs, setting his tools down and taking off his gloves before touching me.
A soft groan followed by a whine of his name is felt vibrating on his back with how tightly I’m pressed against him. He’s so used to staying up that he almost appears concerned, but he quickly realizes what time it is. Ronin picks up his gloves and the wrench he was using and throws it on the table where the rest of his tools lay, making a mental note to clean them in the morning. He gently picks me up, and I gasp in response.
“What? Don’t want the devil to get his little saint dirty? Too bad, huh.”
“Ronin, don’t be mean...”
He chuckles and I can feel it in my ear as my head rests on his chest. The gentle rock in his steps make me slowly drift off, the rhythm soothing. But as he finally opens the door to his room, I bring my head up to look at him. He places me down on the bed without breaking eye contact.
“Are you leaving...?”
“Yep.” He says sarcastically, although with how tired I was, I obviously missed it.
“Why?” I pout, sitting up.
“I’m kidding, darlin’. ‘m not going anywhere.”
He pushes me to lay back down. He gets up to grab his laptop on the other side of the room. He lays beside me and waits for me to lean into him before touching me, and he pets my head when I do. My breathing slows and Ronin stares for a moment in awe. He laughs to himself, how silly of me to rest every part of me in his greedy hands. Lucky for me, he’s playing nicely tonight, as he says. And so, the only light in the room is the dim light of his laptop, and the only sound is the gentle hum of his voice and my soft breaths.
Guys I wrote this in like 30 minutes and I am vv tired this is NOT good don't get me plz
pixelskylines
annaxmalina
snowghoul
dailybridgerton
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