𝐸𝑚𝑚𝑎

Its gonna be your world! ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ Em/Emma, 4 teen ૮₍ ˶•⤙•˶ ₎ა No dni, block free i have a habit of following before reading intros, so if minors in your dni im sorry if i followed 😓

[anqxlic]

There is nothing I cant overcome if I only believe

Just like singing, just like miracles

Feelings can change everything!

—————————— ꒰ঌᰔᩚ໒꒱ —————————

Haii ! My name is Emma! You can call me any nicknames and stuff, idm ^_^

i would answer to sakura, or past names like em/emmy/angie/angelica .. :3

she/her

Just to get it out of the way, im 14, so if you dont like interacting w ppl my age you dont have to..

cardcaptor sakura themed blog

BLOCK DONT REPORT!

this is a jirai/landmine blog, i will be posting about sh, maybe eds, my horrible attachment patterns, ideation, among other things. Please dont needesly trigger yourself :(

i am not planning to recover anytime soon, but im not anti-recovery for others

i am lifestyle not fashion (i do love the fashion but its expensive and i enjoy other styles more)

i would wear it in a heartbeat if i got the chance to try !

I do not post sh pics, no need to rlly worry abt that. I dont wanna be termed

also in general i know i can be kinda annoying in my posts :(

i dont have any dnis! Also open dms!

newer tag system = random life posting #a magical life 𐔌՞ ܸ.ˬ.ܸ՞𐦯 vent posting under jirai tags

pfp by : @.yumechr on tumblr >w< (i dont wanna accidentally alert you everytime i change my intro lol)

All dividers and borders i made

this is my 2nd acc, first was @.Cxp1dsCryb4by but i got termed

Some of my fandoms, all diff levels how much ik ₍ᐢ⑅•ᴗ•⑅ᐢ₎♡

madoka magica, cardcaptor sakura, pokemon in general, nana sugar sugar rune, yotsuba, salior moon, Tokyo mew mew, nso, spy x family, pusheen, splatoon, zelda, pikmin, sanrio, vocaloid, heathers, lain, doki doki, watamote, lucky star, dokuro chan, frieren, komi cant communicate, stich

this is prob not all

While i dont have many..

i like drawing, playing games, listening to music, kandi, collecting stuff like plushies, watching youtube and anime! ^_^

nirvana, hole, msi, korn, lana del rey, mitski, adrianne lenker, the violent femmes, fleetwood mac, babymetal, kmfdm, nin, garbage, deftones, sublime, blink-182, alex g , MBV, curve, jack off jill, icp, scarling, bikini kill, elliot smith, tv girl, the breeders, heavenly, ministry, atari teenage riot, slipknot etc etc..

i do also like random vocaloid songs not anything in paticular

i like a lil kpop but the fandoms scare me so ill prob never rlly get into it

and just regular run of the mill western pop random internet songs idk

@.anqxl1c on spotify if ya wanna see my playlists

discord: thepurestangel. , pintrest : anqxliccc

I am a attention whore ngl , i love it sm.. please please please please please please??? I have no anons sighghfhsksidusi

i love asks sm!!! Talk to me abt anything im lonley as hell!!!

i encourage all forms of interaction 👍👍 plez pay attention to me idc how

@.kurtlyturtle is my silly twin btw (SYAORAN THEME TO MY SAKURA THEME!)

@.prettttttttykittyyy is a irl cutie and my fav i love her so mich

@.mydollyriee IS AWESOME IVE KNOW THEM FOR LIKE ALMOST 3 YEARS

Below is my silly collection of userboxses, blinkes, and stamps

from various places mostly pin and tumblr

changes a lot

[anqxlic]

i forgot to say this when i had it but i got 300 fllrws and thank you -.- i think ppl keep getting termed or sum and i have 298 rn so close enough!

i dont have anything big to say im tired as hell recently i have kinda lost any form of positivity but i still am grateful as always, i love all you mwah

a lot of this is just me trying to write down my own reality and process my emotions but i do love everyone who reads these things or is nice to me in asks and stuff

i kinda dip when things get good or netural for me for a bit but also i am just overwhelmed so easily

i kinda give here and irl polar opposites of myself. I almost never vent irl and i feel i dont properly show my personality here

the only person who really gets both is kitte (who btw, is still alive :3)

im sorry if i just look like an eternal blog of doom im not this insufferable irl

[anqxlic]

i need to stop assuming all my freinds like secretly DESPISE me and hate me behind my back

i know some of these people care about me and would probably care if i told them things but im so so so scared. The thought of opening up to anyone in any way makes me cry and i dont know. I just cant do it directly. I cant believe people love me and its such a problem

why would someone love a unperfect version of me? Love someone who avoids everyone and even their favorite people in the whole wide world? Someone who no matter how hard i try my head still gets to me and i break down so hard and never tell anyone because i think they will all laugh at me and turn it about themselves

ive tried my absolute best to be a loveable person i am so hyperaware of every single thing i say and every step i take. I have tried to change myself so hard into something remotely likeable because i am so fucking terrfied everyone will leave me and just laugh if i die i cant pretend i want to be alone i cant be there i am so scared of talking to people but i cant be alone

everyone is the same and i just see the same people who left me in the new people

[anqxlic]

im starting to feel worse about this, like ive been thinking about it for months thats ive “known” but now i need to do something

it really isnt i dont like him its i dont what that means and the risks it comes from

i do think hes such a nice and genuine person and i find him interesting and i love talking to him and his morals good and he is so nice to me and i trust him more than most and i dont want him to ever leave

i do think of what ifs a lot but i dont know if its my overthinking or if its something else and i do get a little jealous sometimes but i dont know if that’s jus fear of abandonment it happens w anyone im close to

i wish someone could really explain to me what love is or even like

i cant tell if its just my anxiety and fear of taking any sort of chances thats stopping me

but i feel so bad leaving him with i dont know. He was so brave and he knows and hes being direct and im an avoidant mess.

i normally know myself and i dont know what this is and im so nervous and scared i dont want him to leave

why cant someone just read my mind?

[anqxlic]

When I cant even read my own feelings

What good are words, when a smile says it all?

And if this world wont write me an ending

What will it take, just for me to have it all? ^_^

[k4mi-noai]

I feel so guilty ghosting people I don’t know how to tell people that I’m not in a state for socialising and I probably won’t be for a long time

[anqxlic]

EMMA!!!

I just started to watch tsubasa chronicles and I really like it so far.

Also, do you have any state tests coming up? I have one on Tuesday unfortunately..

HELLLYOOOO HAIII HIIII HELLOOO TURTLE!!

Ekk i finished nana, + tsubasa is real good >w< do you like fai?? Hes pretty awesome :p

Noo nuh uh i dont… im in 9th grade and we arent doing state testing this year !! Jus the preact 10th grade and actual act 11th grade

[anqxlic]

I couldn't fucking tell (this isn't an insult lol I love ur theme)

I just.. wanted to make sure.. people know🥹 i promise its kinda hard to tell

[anqxlic]

your dividers are so cute ohmaigosh!! i especially love the ones in your introduction ♡

SORRRYYY FOR BEING SO LATE BUT THANK YOU SO MUCH!!

[soulspark]

[anqxlic]

Hai! Even if i have been very off here, ive actually been functioning okay..

i am pretty focused on school and trying to stay in good habits right now. Ive been keeping up on hygeine and laundry and my room and schoolwork and im so happy! I still do feel pretty heavily depressed and anxious, just more able to work through it at this moment

ive even talked to some of my friends over text, even though im usually pretty avoidant.. i just want to be trying at life again, im not sure where this came from

we have a long weekend because of the end of quarter and act. First day my parents took us to go on a walk in the park w my husky, second day was today (easter), tommorw my mom wants to go to the libary, and the next day ill be home alone and thats fun!

my friend recommended me to watch persona. I know i jump around with things a lot, but when someone recommends something a lot of the time i feel obligated to watch it at some point..

its persona 4s anime im watching, i watch dubbed anime (dont attack me. 🥹) , and 3 isnt dubbed. I think its pretty cool! Im a little confused, but i love yukiko ^.^ also i watched some more nana today. 7 more episodes. Ive been watching anime while playing legend of zelda on my switch

also, im happy bcz kitte seems to be happier! She isnt on here as much, im pretty sure she deleted tumblr and is a little happier without it. I love her so much, its hard to express

its werid that life has been on a up, i do have downs but its all good! I want to post on tumblr still, i just am very unmotivated for it at the moment. Ive been a little more active on mastodon, where i feel i can post shorter things. My tumblr feels more ranty. I dont like posting short things here.

summer is coming, maybe as school calms down ill get back into tumblr. The work has picked up as i kinda withdrew from tumblr. Things should calm down by may, as we prep for finals

then i go to 10th grade. Ew ew ew!

[anqxlic]

no matter how happy i am for the people healing around me, i do envy them in a way.. seeing people experiencing all that emotion and highs and lows. It sounds ignorant, but sometimes i do wish i had the more reactive forms of illness. Mine has just made every day feel the same, dreams merge into life, rid of my strong emotions, rid of my sense of future or danger

i want that. I want every part of it. I think my brain is far to logical about consquences to be impulsive and have fun, to logical to see healing from some of these uncurable mental conditions i have, to logical to see much improvement ever in my social

theres so many things i would need to fix and so little people i feel would want to help. i cant say that fully, as i havent asked for help really. I never have felt “safe” to do so. Do i have a right to be mad at the world if i never thought i could ask?

A lot of people have a way of comforting i find condescending or that they are brushing me off. Even at my lowest, i was just passed around between student centers and offices and classrooms because i couldnt regulate myself at all

i really just want to have fun for once, thats all this is

i want to have fun, try things, fall in love, have good friendships i feel care, not have my crushing social and general anxiety, rid of my misophonia, and fix my appearance

those are the things i want

[anqxlic]

EEK ITS STILL APRIL 1ST IN MY TIME OKAY BUT LOOK LOOK ITS MISS SAKURA KINOMOTOS BIRTHDAY!! IM SO HAPPY! I LOVE THIS SERIES SO MUCH AND I LOOK UP TO HER AND KEKKK IDK I JUST FEEL SUCH A STRONG CONNECTION

AND CAN I SAY THANK YOU TO MY AWESOME SYAORAN MY TURTLE I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I FEEL BAD YOUR ONLY ONLINE BUT I DO TRULY LOVE YOU AND THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR COMFORTING ME WHEN OTHERS WOULDNT OR STAYING AND I HOPE I HAVE BEEN ABLE TO PAY YOU BACK! I LOVE MATCHING WITH YOU TO EHHE ITS BEEN GOING ON FOR SO LONG NOW

[anqxlic]

HELLO!!

Emma, how was your weekend with your brothers?

I hope it was good!!

Also silly Sakura

HELLO TURTLE! I again have to say im sorry for kinda leaving, please never ever think i mean anything by it.. i dont know if im losing interest or just severely burnt out, hopefully things sort out

sadly, that weekend failed lmao😓 we were 50 miles from seattle and got a flat, and had to drive 100 miles home. The flat happened really fast to, but its okay!! Have you done anything you wanna tell me about?? ^.^

AND YES MISS SAKURA

[anqxlic]

I get to see my brothers in a few days . . Sometimes it can be kinda akward with them around, but i do care! I just need a lot more space then I did as a kid? ٩(ˊωˋ*)و

Were gonna go to the state above mine for my oldest siblings birthday. Its maybe a 4 hour drive there + A HOTEL ROOM OH NO.

i think my first long drive to go see family was when i was like 5, took maybe 8 hours then hotel, then 6 more when we woke up ՞߹ - ߹՞

the fun part abt drives tho is i always take the back back seat (basically seats in the trunk) and i jus play switch and music idk

plus i just like talking to my brothers!! They make my early childhood much more fun to look back on, they really did seem to try their best to help us when dad was at work or mom was mad and drunk

things are better since then, but i remember <3 i cant tell you how many hours of games ive played w them tho.. that was always like the maining bonding thing w me and my 3 siblings

there is a secret super cool activity we will be doing there but shhh ive been waiting to tell anyone

[anqxlic]

i really do wish i was better at long distance/online communication. I don’t understand why i get so avoidant ? Especially with texts

and that leads to people misunderstanding and thinking i dont like them, when that is really not i meant at all! As much as i love attention, it also kinda freaks me out when i feel pressured to respond..

it just gives me an immense amount of anxiety, im really unsure why.. i just feel trapped and scared everytime someone texts me, to where i freak out and not respond

then i end up ignoring it to long and it goes to akward, and eventually were not on speaking terms anymore.. i apologize to all the friends ive lost to my stupid brain

i hate the thought some people at and outside of school see me as a mean or unsavory person, thats not true right?

i wish i could be less this way, but half of the time i do not have a full grasp on the social situation and rules and i end up messing up.

[anqxlic]

Hiii :3 !!

I think we were moots on my old blog, @wowitslily..?

Even if we weren't, I'd still love to be moots <3 !!

I THINK WE WERE!! Even if not ofc i would love to be mooties to >w< i love that character in the pics btw they r so cute!!