The Radio Demon

Alastor Fictkin/IRL Blog | He/him | 22 Bodily | Blog may contain violent/uncomfortable topics | Fuck Vivz | Doubles are just fine!

[antleredfreak]

Bonjour, salutations, and welcome to my little radio show here. We’re on air this stormy evening with a little introductory post.

As my bio suggests this is a blog specifically for my identity as Alastor from Hazbin Hotel. This identity I label as fictkin/IRL, and I hypothesize stems from a past life. This has been a long journey for me to come across this identity with internalized shame, but I’m hoping writing about it here may help me get over that.

I bodily am 22 and a gay, transgender man living in the Deep South USA. Unfortunate, but true to my past life. I live within driving distance of New Orleans, and used to work and live there; a very special place in my soul. I would prefer to only be referred to as Alastor on this blog.

Since I watched the pilot of Hazbin I felt a strong pull towards Alastor. Recently, I was pulled full force into the fandom from rewatching season one and the arrival of season two. With that, I was forced to confront my feelings about the character.

I’ve been an alterhuman all my life, and actually educate within the community in my spare time. So when I was watching, and subsequently putting together my feelings, I already knew what fictionkin and IRL identities were. However I never thought there would be a character that I would latch onto in that way. So when I went over my feelings- I was able to recognize them Immedietly, as much as I didn’t want to.

Ashamed is a light way of putting it, the feelings I had for this identity. Hatred is more accurate. Even though I preach “being cringe is free” I was unable to cope with the fact that well- I was cringe. The most basic kind of all. Which is why, in the first place I attempted to repress the identity for years. But as I looked back onto it.. things lined up far too well.

And so with that, I finally was able to come to terms with my identity as Alastor. Does that mean I’m fully over my shame? Absolutely not. I’m not public about my identity except in the “correct” spaces and with certain folks.

I will say I am aware that I am canon divergent from the show. I am open to any messages, and encourage them, as I love to answer questions. I will be using this blog as a place for me to write about my feelings, memories, and more, as Alastor.

⚠️ A few disclaimers here for this blog, before you continue on in my journey with me. ⚠️

• I am an adult. I’d prefer if only adults interacted with me one on one.

• I do not support Vivz nor do I support her actions.

• I am aware that I have a life outside of my identity as Alastor. I am aware that folks may see me as “delusional”. This does not bother me.

• This post may contain disturbing topics, art, and more. These may including gore, talk of unnatural urges, talk of murder and crime, and more. Be aware. I am not responsible for your ignorance.

• This blog is a place for me to remain fully in character. Keep that in mind when interacting.

[antleredfreak]

𓆱 Hazbin Hell - Kin and System Discord Server

𓄒 It’s been in the works for some time now, but I’ve made an 18+ discord server specifically for Hazbin identities. I thought posting it here may get some eyes on it that would enjoy the space.

⛧｡ This Server was created due to the lack of adult only spaces for alterhumans and systems alike with an interest and identity in Hazbin Hotel.

𓄒 Hazbin Hell is a Doubles Friendly 18+ Kin/System server made for those who identify as characters from the show Hazbin Hotel. This can include Systems and Alterhumans alike. The server itself features multiple categories, roles, and channels to socialize and mingle among one another with a hotel-esque theme.

Are you questioning or curious? You are still welcomed among our guests here. Just be respectful of the fact that this space is catered towards a certain group.

⛧｡ We at Hazbin Hell do not want anyone to sanitize or downplay their identity, so server does not include a blacklist but does have a general DNI. This is not an endogenic friendly server.

⛧｡˚~

Check out the ʜᴀᴢʙɪɴ ʜᴇʟʟ community on Discord - hang out with 13 other members and enjoy free voice and text chat.

[antleredfreak]

This Station is currently OFF AIR

I hope everyone has been doing well as the year wanes on. I will most likely be posting something special later today. For the time being, enjoy yourselves.

[louisirl]

Incarnate vs. Fictionkin

The primary distinction between fictionkin and incarnate (outside of it specifically being apart of vampyre terminology) is the embodiment. Both describe the involuntary experience of identifying as a fictional character. However, an Incarnate experiences a pronounced desire to embody that identity in the flesh, whether socially, physically, aesthetically, or otherwise. While the desire for embodiment is not exclusive to Incarnates, it is a defining aspect of the term. Not every fictionkin feels a need to actively embody their fictionhood, nor is such embodiment necessary for identification itself.

[louisirl]

Incarnate

Noun

A being who identifies as a specific fictional character and experiences themselves as that character incarnated in the flesh. The literal meaning: “embody in flesh” or “give bodily form.”

For an Incarnate, the incarnation (character) extends beyond admiration or personal connection and is recognized as an intrinsic part of the self, expressed through daily life.

I.e. I am an incarnate. The incarnation of Louis from The Vampire Chronicles. I incarnated as Louis.

[antleredfreak]

A great and lovely friend of mine above. I fully identify with this term, and will be using it quite frequently. I am an incarnate of Alastor.

[antleredfreak]

This Station is Currently OFF AIR

A late Christmas present finally arrived today and I couldn’t be more happy! Amazing standees and pieces done by @darkness_an on Instagram.

Five standees, four acrylic follow-mes, three prints, four mini acrylic forks, and two keychains. All for under 40.

I do have to say I think the follow-me standees are my favorite.. overall my stag heart is happy!

I will have to take pictures of everything once it’s on display properly! But for now enjoy these mini showcases.

[antleredfreak]

This Station is currently OFF AIR~

Life has hit this stag like a truck in the road. I hope to come back to this station soon, but for now.. a little reminder that I am still here.

[antleredfreak]

Art Broadcast~

A little something I did last night. I know the anatomy isn’t great but.. eh.

[antleredfreak]

The cosplay looks great! How did it feel?

First off, merci! I appreciate the compliment greatly. Second off, it felt.. well a mixture of bittersweet and wonderful. I felt right at home being in New Orleans as well, but it was such a feeling that does not stay lighthearted. I miss greatly my old appearance and my old home, so a lot of it was bittersweet. That and of course I couldn’t get everything “correct” so it threw me off a tad. However, overall, it was a fun experience. The amount of compliments I got, along with the amount of being who stopped and spoke with me was splendid. I even had Joel speak and compliment me, which was.. interesting! However, outside of Valentino, he was such a sweet man.

So, bittersweet, melancholy, fun, but overall wonderful. I appreciate you asking.

Some bonus pictures. There’s many more to share but I’ll make a full separate broadcast for that.

[antleredfreak]

This station is currently OFF AIR.

How can human emotions plague such a being not meant for this world.

[antleredfreak]

Cosplay Broadcast~

This past weekend I had the grand joy to cosplay for the first time- and what a wonderful experience that was! All pieces were made by myself, and I do have to say I’m rather proud, which is why I’m sharing it here!

I suppose this counts as art, but, I’ll label it as a Cosplay Broadcast for organizational reasons. Enjoy some photos, and more are to come! I also suppose this is a bit of a face reveal.

[antleredfreak]

This station is currently OFF AIR.

Fear not my friends, I am not gone for good! Life caught up to this stag, but many things have been happening! Expect another broadcast today!

[antleredfreak]

Art Broadcast~

A vent piece I did awhile back that still applies to this day. Human emotions are something that I still do not understand.

[antleredfreak]

Art Broadcast~

Murderhusbands art I did for a Christmas card.

First time drawing myself as a human, but certainly not my first time drawing Vincent.

[antleredfreak]

This station is currently Off the Air.

I despise human emotions. The fact that I miss him, despite having spoken to so many versions of him- is disgusting to me.

Vox was someone I cherished, in my own way. He did not understand that and I don’t know if he even would now. But the way I miss him lingers on my soul as if it were owned. And I despise it.

The yearning I feel for that.. idiot is something I can never seem to shake it seems. But especially here, now, in this life. With these heightened emotions and empathy. The ache in my chest I feel is something that simply haunts me.

I hate that man. I hate my emotions. But yet there is not a day that doesn’t pass where I don’t think of him.

[antleredfreak]

This station is currently Off The Air.

I crave to be violent. I crave to be feared. I crave for power again.

This life has hindered me so very much, and it certainly is an inconvenience, one that bothers me to no end.

I crave to be known. I crave to be something, in the worst way possible. I crave to be seen.

[antleredfreak]

This station is currently off the air.

Last night the fog rolled in onto our little coastal town, and it was.. splendid. I have to drive rather late, so it is always a treat to see the ocean at night. The fog is something I have always adored, but last night made me almost giddy.

Absolutely gorgeous photos I took. It reminds me of nights I would spend prowling the dark alleys of New Orleans and the forests of Hell. Oh how I miss it.

This morning it’s rather cold, which is why I believe the fog rolled in, as it was warm yesterday. But it’s supposed to get down into the 20s later this week, which is rather exciting! Anywho, I merely wanted to share. I may be making a few more off air posts today, but we’ll see.