Rate the Ship - Awful | Ew | No pics pls | I’m not comfortable | Alright | I like it! | Got Pics? | Let’s do it! | Why is this not getting more attention?! | The OTP to rule all other OTPs
How long will they last? - Till death.
How quickly did/will they fall in love? - There was something between them quite early, but it would take years before Renly recognized his feelings for Loras as love.
How was their first kiss? -To sum it up in one word: Awkward. They were both nervous, Renly more so than Loras, and their lips only met for a brief second or so. It was half a year later they shared their first proper kiss, which was for more successful and a lot less awkward.
Who proposed? - Neither, seeing as they can’t get married, but it has been talked about. Loras once told Renly that if it wasn’t for the laws he would marry him in a heartbeat though, and they’ve talked about what their wedding would be like.
Who is the best man/men? - Renly would probably have one of his brothers as his best man in the pre-war time. Loras would have Margaery as his best (wo)man.
Who is the braid’s maid(s)? - some cute young relatives of Loras. Mostly because /cute Highgarden girls/.
Who did the most planning? - Olenna would probably do the planning tbh.
Who stressed the most? - Probably Renly.
How fancy was the ceremony? - Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big.
Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? - They wouldn’t want to insult anyone important by not inviting them, politics after all.
Who is on top? - It varies.
Who is the one to instigate things? - Again, it varies, but quite often it’s Loras.
How healthy is their sex life? - Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now
How kinky are they? - Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head
How long do they normally last? -I know nothing about sex things, I don’t know what’s normal or anything so I’m just gonna jump right on to to the next question
Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? - yes? no? Maybe?
How rough are they in bed? - Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it.
How much cuddling/snuggling do they do? - No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory.
How many children will they have naturally? - None
How many children will they adopt? - Sadly, seeing as they’re a secret they won’t adopt children either.
Who gets stuck with the most diapers? - If they did have children this would probably still be a servant’s job.
Who is the stricter parent? - That would probably be Renly tbh.
Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? - Certainly not Loras.
Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? - Again, a servant’s job.
Who is the more loved parent? - Probably Renly, it depends on the hypothetical child that they sadly will never have.
Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings? What PTA meetings? They don’t have those in Westeros.
Who cried the most at graduation? - Again, Westeros.
Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? - Renly, since he’s the king’s brother and stuff.
Who does the most cooking? - Neither
Who is the most picky in their food choice? - I honestly have no idea. Maybe Renly?
Who does the grocery shopping? - Neither
How often do they bake desserts? - They never bake them, but both of them like desserts so they have them quite often.
Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? - They are both fond of meat, but Renly also has a weakness for salad.
Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? - Probably Renly, except it’d only be a surprise if Loras did it.
Who is more likely to suggest going out? - Neither, they can’t really ‘go out’ together.
Who is more likely to burn the house down accidently while cooking? - Loras.
Who cleans the room? - Well, usually servants
Who is really against chores? - Loras I think.
Who cleans up after the pets? - They have no pets.
Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? - Probably Loras
Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? - Renly
Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? - A servant.
Who takes the longer showers/baths? - Loras
Who takes the dog out for a walk? - They don’t have a dog, unfortunaltely. But if they did, probably Loras since Renly is a bit busy being dead.
How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? - Rarely
What are their goals for the relationship? - Not to be discovered
Who is most likely to sleep till noon? - Loras.
Who plays the most pranks? - Loras,
theartofmadeline
