An Undecided Emotion

Hey girl hey, I'm Mia! I'm 23, a recent university graduate, a big sister to 5 and getting ready to move halfway across the world. With that being said, my life is like Grey's Anatomy...I just want someone to pick me, choose me...love me!

[cwote]

[iglovequotes]

http://iglovequotes.net/

[iglovequotes]

http://iglovequotes.net/

[anundecidedemotion]

Today Thoughts

26 July 2016 - An Open Letter For Myself - More or less, just notes

Look, I’m sorry.

I am so sorry that everything is crumbling down on you. 

I am so sorry for the fact that you still hurt to this day. 

I am so sorry that moving on, has just been impossible. I am sorry that every time you feel like your brain is taking a step forward. You are becoming more content on your own,  your heart just wants you to come right back to when you felt happy with him.

I am sorry that you hurt so much that the only thing you feel like you have control over, is do you cry in the middle of the street, or in the shower? or both. Both it seems like. 

I am sorry people change their minds. People get your hopes up, and make you believe in ever afters, weekend trips and one-on-one time. 

I’m sorry.

I’m sorry.

I am so sorry. 

I am sorry that you are not okay and at peace, that you are haunted by some memories, but at the same time, you cherish the others. I think you cherish the ones more than you are haunted by the bad ones. 

I am sorry you feel alone. I am sorry.

I am sorry that people ask you “If he was to come back, would you take him back?”. That should be  a lingering thought in my brain. That thought shouldn’t to this day make my heart want to kick into overdrive. That question should be answered with the word, “NO”. But instead there is no hesitation. There is no lingering, I know my answer, and it isn’t a good one. 

I am sorry that you are willing to put up with the tears rolling down your face as he tells you more lies, I am sorry that you are willing to put your health first to be with him, I am sorry that somewhere he made you believe that you owed him everything. I am sorry you felt that you owed it to him,someone who didn’t want you. 

I am sorry he just stopped, without a simple goodbye or an explanation.

I am sorry you were used. I am sorry that the other side of this story is okay. I am sorry, but girl

I am not sorry, because you will learn from this. You will heal in the end. You will love yourself more. I am not sorry because you could not spend forever attached to someone who was ready to cut the cord any second. This will teach you to never settle for less. I am not sorry, because shit happens for a reason and you deserve better. 

[taeyeohn]

[haimtheblog]

[blankspace17]

this is legendary

[thelovejournals]

When your heart is shattered into a million pieces, all you can do is try to keep holding on. You breathe. You try to fall asleep. You try to not think about him.

Susane Colasanti, Keep Holding On (via thelovejournals)

[vampiresweets]

[khanti-karuna]

I don’t miss you - I miss arms. I miss hands in my hair, hands on my waist. I miss fingers tangled with fingers, legs tangled with legs. I miss that moment in the middle of the night when drowsy stretching is greeted by more arms, when hand collides with bare back and mouth with shoulder. I miss bellies aching with quiet laughter when sleep has been forgotten, when sleep has become impossible. I miss hushed words whispered on pillowcases, rushed words between sheets before the sun comes up. I miss mornings of waking to all legs and arms and lips. awaking in a mess of limbs and sheets and subtle sunshine. I miss the feeling of being missed, that hungry and unquenchable need. I don’t miss you - I miss someone.

wanting someone doesn’t mean I’m wanting you || s.c.l. (via khanti-karuna)

[beautysinthebeast]

[babybluehazee3-blog]

Tbh

[athoughtfulthinkersuniverse-dea]

No, we didn’t date. Technically she wasn’t an ex-girlfriend. But she was an ex-something, an ex-maybe, an ex-almost…

(via athoughtfulthinkersuniverse)

[apikaliaa]

How can I move on when I never wanted to walk away?

wishesmessages.com (via apikaliaa)

[stillblossoming]

They tell you moving on is easy, but moving on is actually one of the most difficult things to do. Getting over someone is a constant state of missing someone to wishing they didn’t exist, to loving them to hating them, to wanting them to never talk to you again to hoping and wishing they’d send you a text. It slowly gets easier as the distance between you two gets greater, but I don’t know if you can truly get over someone you once cared about. They will always have a part of your heart and be a part of who you were and who you are, but I promise one day you’ll realize you deserved to be loved not considered, you deserved to be fought for not given up on, you will see that person was a lesson not a rule. Just keep pushing forward.

Sincerely moving on // RK. (via stillblossoming)

[wakinuptomorrow-blog]

[remanence-of-love]

Indeed.

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[theplushbear]