Wizard Bones

Aka bony tony aka Craig aka Ivy

[wizardofbones]

Pinning things is for nerds

[chips1977]

Shit fuckin hurt coming out

[wizardofbones]

[asteroidtroglodyte]

Aliens who do Bee Genders, trying to figure out what Humanity’s Deal is: so which ones of you are the permaSpawners, which ones are the Inseminators, and which ones of you have had your genitals reshaped into weapons?

[wizardofbones]

wait are stingers modified genitals?

[wizardofbones]

[maskdoll]

my various capes and robes are causing me to suffer from heat stroke but this only serves to increase my power by allowing me to see the glowing lights of the magical world beyond

[captain-price-returns]

[eveemtg]

Peer The Improbable

this is why I need an writer. and and editor. and a playtester. and...

[doyoulovethewayzeylily]

imagine you had a friend who constantly made jokes at the expense of something you loved. they're never funny, but they seem to expect you to laugh even though the punchline is just, "this thing you love sucks ass". it's not even really a joke, there's nothing funny about it, you can tell that they genuinely actually believe it. but they insist it's just a joke!

no matter what the situation is, they're always bringing the social interaction to a screeching halt with these jokes. nobody ever wants to participate in this joke with them. nobody agrees with the premise. nobody ever knows what to say afterwards, it's just an awkward moment and a subject change. but they just keep doing it.

you have to stop with the self-deprecatory "humor", it's not fun for anyone including you.

[doyoulovethewayzeylily]

#actual advice: switch to self-aggrandizing humor #have the biggest ego in the world even if it's fake #does wonders

as the smartest and most beautiful woman in the world, I can confirm this

[hardgockcafe]

Self aggrandizing humor saves lives. I’m an authority on this since I’m legitimately the coolest girl in the world.

[wizardofbones]

This goes double for wizards btw because the massive ego is already a preexisting bit

[starrynet]

what’s your favorite ship?

titanic

hms terror

uss enterprise

ever given (the container ship that blocked the suez canal in 2021)

captain ahab’s whaling vessel

ship of theseus

battleship monopoly token

mclennon

Voting ended onJul 14

[wizardofbones]

I appreciate that everguven was the only one of these deemed obscure enough to warrant a clarification

[wizardofbones]

In stars and time is so good guys

[wizardofbones]

Golf caddies are modern day squires

[wizardofbones]

Damn that really is the least weasel

[furryprovocateur]

this stupid fucking image sends me into hysterics every time

[scheidungsgrund]

from twitter user deejaygeejaygee

[galecstatic]

it just gets better

and better

[goingonanadventuremaybe]

[funnyfroge]

[quasi-normalcy]

Weirdly common stock genre show plots:

Time loop

Body swap

Some members of the team get shrunk (and have to go inside someone's body)

All the male members of the team are turned into simpering idiots by pheromones and have to be saved by the female member(s) of the team and I guess this is feminist somehow

Time loop

Everyone on the team is trapped in their individual worst nightmares and the episode is called "Fear Itself"

Someone goes all "Heart of Darkness" on an alien planet

Trapped in a VR simulation (but you can die for real!)

The team is brainwashed into serving in the workforce of some alien planet

Lotus-eater plot (everyone is trapped in an idyllic fantasy world)

Time loop

One or more members of the team "de-evolve" into cavemen

Someone on the team "evolves" to have super-intelligence (and this is bad)

Time loop

[cloudabserk]

WARNING do NOT start reading books and comics or watching movies or looking at art!!! you will start wanting to create art yourself. or god forbid. writing.

[cambriancrew]

[proudfreakmetarusonikku]

I haven’t read animorphs but everything I see about k.a applegate makes her seem like the coolest person alive

[asteroidtroglodyte]

K. A. Applegate: I’m gonna lure kids in with a cute day-dream-able premise about kids turning into Animals and then BLAMMO hit ‘em over the head with a thick stack of War Is Hell, stab ‘em a bunch of times with You Will Commit Atrocities To Win, and leave ‘em bleeding out in a puddle of You Can Never Go Home Again

Head Publisher of Scholastic, doing a rail of coke off a copy of Ender’s Game: yer a goddamn genius is what you are I’ll take 30 books

[wizardofbones]

The vioence is even more clear in Michael Grant's solo stuff

[fulda-gap-express]

who is the Toronto baseball warlock