I Write Fics Sometimes And Theyre Pretty Cool

She/her- adult

[anxietyobsessedyetdepressed]

Fic Masterlist

*list will always be updated whenever I post a new fic

Michael “Dr.Robby/Robby” Robinavitch

- More Than Temporary

- Sabbatical

- Cruise

- Hope

Jack Abbott

- Dancing In The Dark

- No Matter What

- Call Me Jack

Andrew “Pope” Cody

- Nothing’s Gonna Hurt You Baby

- Peace

- First

Rabbott (Robby and Jack)

- Casual

John “Dr.Carter” Carter

[anxietyobsessedyetdepressed]

I think I’m gonna end casual right there at part 4 considering it’s crickets. Kind of left open ended with stuff wrapped up so not entirely bad

[anxietyobsessedyetdepressed]

Casual- Part 4

Series Masterlist

Word Count: 7K

Summary: You make a decision and Robby and Jack have a talk about the past that they've both tried so hard to forget. An incident occurs where Robby chooses to help cover something up and Jack gives you a choice to make

Warnings: toxic relationship, inaccurate medical information, mentions of abortion, COVID, PTSD, brief physical assault and drug use

AN: Thank you so much to those of you who read and gave me feedback on Part 3 !! Enjoy Part 4 and please let me know what you think 💙. Remember to comment and reblog ! This is the last part before the finale :)

“Would it be okay if I used some of your toast and butter ?” Dennis asked, bringing you out of your haze “I can also just go get something too, I don’t mind”

“I was actually gonna order some comfort food from The Brew Theory down the street by the hospital” you grinned taking a seat at your dining table “What would you like ?” “I’ve never been there” he shook his head with a chuckle “But you can pick for me, I like anything really”

“Oh and I’m low on groceries so I’m gonna do a drop off order, here add what you want so I can have it here” you slid over your phone to him He stared down at it and shook his head “I’m good with whatever really” “Dennis” you met his eyes “Add whatever you want and need, you work 4 sometimes 5 14 hour days in a row, you need to make sure you’re hydrated and nourished well. You think I don’t know that you’d eat the stale granola bars and nearly rotten fruit people would leave in the lounge ? You’re my friend, probably my only real friend, so please just accept this”

“I’m not some charity case, I can-” “No you’re not” you shook your head “But you are someone who needs a little help…just like I do. We both need different kinds of help and I can and happily will help you with everything because you deserve it.” He visibly appeared to hold back the emotion he wanted to show but you gave him a smile and sat down next to him at your bar area as you both picked out groceries for the week and ordered breakfast. Dennis had been the only man you had been friends with that ultimately didn’t want anything from you. You still remembered the first time you had met him and how he had essentially offered to do your work load for you because he was so concerned you didn’t know how to work the hospitals system After he had dodged your invite to lunch and dinner for the 20th time you had followed him after shift only to find him sleeping in a dusty hospital bed in the abandoned wing of the hospital, sitting quietly as he listened to music and ate a left over half of a sandwich someone had forgotten in the staff fridge. You never brought it up fearing he’d stop talking to you but the memory never left your mind Dennis was your friend, your real friend and kind of your only friend considering your other ones actually had jobs and lives that didn’t consist of being financially irresponsible or having a rendezvous with an older hospital attending or having whatever it was that you had with Jack. Unlike you they had their lives together and while you knew they’d try their best to be there for you, there was no point inconveniencing them with your issues

The rest of the morning was spent with you two walking through your apartment while showing him how things worked along with making sure he felt comfortable. When breakfast came you both inhaled your meals and put groceries away when they arrived soon after

“So” Dennis said as he finished the last of his iced coffee “What did you decide to do ?” “Oh” you whispered “I don’t know yet”

“Wait sorry, that’s insensitive. I’m so sorry” he apologized sincerely “Wow I fucked up on that one bad” You chuckled and rubbed your forehead “You’re fine really and to answer your question well….I don’t know. I know you know my dad from seeing him at the hospital but honestly if I were to keep this baby he wouldn’t speak to me ever again, him and my mother.” “Oh” he looked down at his sock clad feet “But I mean….you’re their daughter, their only child. Maybe they’d only be mad at first then they’d come around…if you did keep it.” “They wouldn’t” you shook your head “Not only that but if he ever found out that Robby was the father he’d do everything possible to ruin his career too and honestly that’s what makes me more sad. I could handle them not talking to me but him ? This is all he has, this is his life and if I were the reason it’d be taken from him I wouldn’t be able to ever forgive myself” “This isn’t about him” Dennis said a little more stern than intended “What do you mean ?” you asked “I guess what I’m trying to say here is…I just really hope you make this decision for you and your well being and not because you’re scared of your parents or Robby’s reaction. This is your choice and this is your life and you should be the only who gets to decide what happens here, don’t think about them…think about you. What do you want ?” Dennis asked “I want an abortion” you answered truthfully “I don’t want this baby and I want an abortion” “Then don’t let anyone get in your way of that” he said gently “Don’t let anyone try to guilt trip you or make you seem like a bad person, you’re not. Do what you feel is right and find peace, you can do it. Stop letting yourself down before taking the chance, you’re not what your parents say you are. You’re a good person with a good heart and a passion for…..fashion” You didn’t even realize tears were streaming down your cheeks as you stepped forward and hugged him tightly, a wet laugh escaping your mouth at the last part “You were doing so good until that last part” “I kinda realized that too late” he chuckled 

“You’re a sweetheart Dennis Whitaker” you sniffled and kissed his cheek “Whatever you need I’ll be there for you” he nodded “Anything” Gathering up all the emotional strength you had you asked him for the most important thing you needed “Will you…will you drive with me to get this abortion ?” “Of course” he answered immediately “I’m off for the next 3 days so just tell me when” “Let’s leave right now” you whispered “I…I need to get it done out of state because all the hospitals and clinics here know my dad or mom, we’re gonna drive to Cleveland. It’s the closest state to here and it’s only 2 hours away so we can go and be back by the afternoon” “I’ll drive” Dennis took your keys 

*******************************************************************

Robby never knew comfort, he didn’t know how to comfort anyone other than patients and even then he wasn’t the best at it. In moments like this he remembered his residency years and how his own attending constantly chewed him out daily for being too cold or stern. He never saw it that way, he saw it as him being honest and wanting patients to know the reality of their situations but according to that attending and several of the other residents he was cold. So cold that whenever women and children came in to be seen they’d never be given to him despite him being willing and able You just don’t have the emotional intelligence for women or kids, they need gentleness not you telling them they’re irresponsible with their health.

Robinvitch, at least offer them a hand if they’re emotional. You’re as cold as a corpse.

Maybe you should go into Ortho, it’d be better for someone like you.

They played over and over in his head despite it being over 20 years but somehow here he was offering a hand and shoulder to Jack who was sitting with him in the hospital parking lot knowing he couldn’t be alone “You know whatever happened can be fixed, you’re a fixer” Robby mentioned “You fix everything" “I had an episode” Jack admitted “Had a dream about the day I woke up in the hospital after my amputation and Whitaker was trying to wake me up and I shoved him to the ground in front of her”

“That’s not the worst thing that could’ve happened” Robby shrugged “Don’t focus on that one moment, it could happen to anyone who experienced what you did” “I know but still, just shows that shit creeps on me no matter how hard I try and how I do my best to handle it” he shook his head “It’s embarrassing” Robby shook his head “No it’s not, it’s something that happened to you and that you’ll forever carry. Don’t focus on the bad” Jack scoffed “Says you” ‘It’s different with me” he responded looking ahead “You lived through some really difficult situations, you saved others. You put yourself in harm's way to make sure others could be safe. You’re a hero.” “You know you’re fucked up but you’re not evil and you’re not some heartless monster. You’ve got a broken heart and mind and lots of feelings you wanna get out but can’t” Jack finally said “I never told you this but I’m sorry I couldn’t be there for you when Adamson died. I wanted to.” The mention of Adamson usually would trigger Robby but the genuineness in Jack’s tone told him that this was a conversation that needed to happen, one without storming out or arguing with each other like he usually would “Marisol had just passed a few months before” he said quietly “You were dealing with your own loss and the world was chaotic. We were just trying our best to survive and help.” “You wanna know something ?” Jack asked “Go ahead” Robby grinned “I wanted to kill myself after Marisol died” he revealed with a sigh “I had a plan, it was all set up and then the pandemic hit and I got the call that the hospital needed more doctors so I said yes in hopes that I’d get sick and die, that way it wouldn’t look like it was on purpose but then I saw…I saw everyone who was sick and I saw how bad they fought to live and get better for their families. I held phones for parents so their kids could facetime them for a few minutes, I sneaked in drawings from little kids to put on the windows so patients could wake up and see them. You did that too, remember Lily ?” Robby shook his head, smiling at the mention of the the little girl who had stolen his heart in the short time he knew her “Oh man she was a riot” “8 years old and called me Dr.Poopy pants” Jack laughed “Remember what she’d call you ?” “Diarrhea head” he laughed with him “Only when we had to take her blood which wasn’t often so we had a lot of confrontations” Every patient he had stayed with him, especially the kids much to the contrary belief. After being told for so long that he wasn’t good with kids and that he should hand over pediatric patients to someone more experienced he took the chance. Lily was an 8 year old patient who had been admitted right at the beginning of covid, with only one parent being allowed she was left alone for a few hours every day while her mother left to check on her other kids leaving Robby, Jack or any of the others to watch over her but it was mostly Robby who stayed by her side 

“Every time I see kids with slime I can’t help but remember her” Robby chuckled “I had a resident hit up 5 fucking stores once before their shift to get some borax and glue for her because she was all out then she made it and got it on my beard and had the audacity to laugh” “I was nice enough to bring her a cookie from the cafeteria and little shit decided it’d be better to put it under my chair so my scrubs could have melted chocolate chips on my ass” Jack shook his head “She was a menace” Like all good things, eventually complications came. Adamson got sick and within days he was admitted and on a ventilator and Robby’s time with Lily was cut short. He spent every free second he had with Adamson, sitting there putting pictures on his machine and praying every hour he’d wake up and see them but with that came less time with the little girl who had grown slightly attached to him “You don’t even come see me anymore, are we not friends ?” Lily asked

“I’m a doctor, remember ? I have other patients I need to be there for” Robby explained

“But what about me ?” she whispered “You don’t come sit with me to draw or to play with slime anymore, you always sat with me”

“I promise when I have time I’ll come sit okay ? Just be good and I’ll have a nurse check in on you again and then maybe tomorrow I can see you for a bit.”

He didn’t go see her that night or the next one or the next one and when he finally did have time on the 4th day she was in an induced coma due to developing a case of covid. Robby felt like he had died internally seeing her little body on a bed with dozens of wires and tubes all over her. It was gut wrenching to see but he had hope she’d be okay, he knew children were resilient and could fight things adults couldn’t. It wasn’t until later that week that he had to make the hardest choice there was “You did the right thing” Jack nodded after noticing his silence “I would’ve done the same” “Yeah well I did it and she died anyways” Robby sighed blinking away the moisture in his eyes “She just wanted some company and she was probably scared and I wasn’t there for her and she died thinking I didn't care about her”

“You were with that kid more than her own parents” Jack whispered “We both were, we did what we could. Adamson would’ve wanted that, he would’ve been proud to know you chose to save her life. You gotta realize that, you did the right thing.” “And now I gotta do another right thing and fix a mess I made” he sighed “But so do you” “I didn’t make a mess” Jack shook his head “You feel like you’re betraying Marisol and you’re not” Robby looked at him “Listen it’s clear you like her and you wanna pursue something so go ahead, there’s no hard feelings here at all. I was an asshole when I said what I did earlier” “There’s always truth in statements coming from anger” Jack said back “Not this time” he said softly “I like her but she deserves better, she deserves stability and a good shot at being with someone who can give her what she needs and that’s not me. We started off shitty and it just got worse, I said some things I should’ve never said and now there’s a choice that needs to be made and-”

“And she wants you there with her, you” Jack cut him off “She wants you there, she wants you to be there for her and tell her everything is gonna be okay.” Robby stood up and gave him a pat on the back “I’m gonna go, you okay ?” “Yeah I’m all good” Jack nodded with a small grin “But go do what you need to do”

*******************************************************************

Just under 3 hours later you were in a waiting room, Dennis sitting across from you as he looked over the papers you had been handed. You were thankful he was with you even if he had driven like an old woman and played horrendous music the whole way, in a weird way it was comforting “Here” he handed you the clipboard “You just gotta sign, everything is all good. It’s the process I had described to you already” “A pill today and another tomorrow and then a test in 2 weeks” you nodded “Alright uh…I’m ready”

A nurse came in soon after and explained the very same process to you, she left the pill and a glass of water in a tray next to you and all you could do was stare it before having the beginnings of a panic attack “I…I can’t do it” you shook your head beginning to hyperventilate “I can’t, I can’t” “Okay” Dennis stood up from his chair calmly “Can I ask you why you feel you can’t do this ?” You ran a hand through your hair and let out shallow breaths “How can I do this ? How ? I shouldn’t be doing this. These procedures are for-are for girls who-who need it, whose lives depend on this. I’m just some girl who slept around, I knew what I was doing and I was very aware of consequences” you grabbed his shoulders “Do you understand how fucking ridiculous I am for even thinking about doing this ?”

“You aren't ridiculous, you’re doing what’s right for you but sit down and listen to me” he took a seat in front of you and held your hand “If you don’t want to do this then don’t but don’t make that choice simply because you feel this-” “I have a savings account, I can-I can work somewhere else, I can take out a loan” you continued to ramble “I’m an adult, I’m a capable adult and maybe a baby is what I need to get my shit together, maybe this baby is my wake up call” when that last part of left your lips you closed your eyes and sighed “What I meant was…that didn’t come out right at all”

“Take the pill” Dennis said softly handing it to you “Here, you can do it” It wasn’t until you realized your hands were shaking along with your chest rising and falling rapidly that you sounded and looked like a complete psycho in front of him. You breathed heavily and picked it up, swallowing with the accompanying glass of water “Fuck my life, fuck my life” you started to cry “It’s gonna be okay” he hugged you “It won’t feel like it for a bit but it will be” “I just hate that I was so stupid” you wiped your eyes “How could I have been so negligent and irresponsible to let something like this happen to me ? I’m not some teenager, I’m an adult.” “And sometimes adults fuck up” he said “And last time I checked you didn’t do this alone so stop blaming it yourself, okay ? This is the best decision you could’ve made for yourself and you’re gonna be really grateful you chose this because truth of the matter is that you don’t need some wakeup call, he does” You wiped your eyes “This was the only shot Robby had at…at having someone” “You think he needs a baby ? He needs therapy, he needs mental help not a baby. Babies aren’t lifesavers for people who are struggling. He would’ve wanted you to do this and believe me when you tell him he’s gonna support you because he’s a good person. He’s someone who’s struggling but he’s a good person and you know that too. You’re a good person too and this choice was one that was needed and you shouldn’t feel guilty for this.” “I have nothing going for myself” you whispered, taking a seat back on your chair “Nothing. How can you say I’m a good person when I’ve done nothing with my life ? When I’ve gotten by in life solely off the success of my parents ? I barely got through school, I was lucky to have majored in fashion and design or else I would’ve been fucked with having to pass subjects higher than lab biology and college level algebra. Wanna know why I even passed in the first place ? Because I flirted with my professors. I flirted just enough so they could pass me. Isn’t that something ?” “I think you can make something of yourself now and that’s what matters” Dennis admitted “You have a clear love for fashion and you take it seriously and went as far as putting yourself out there for a project that could benefit patients. I also think you need to see the bigger picture here and realize that you can make your own choices and path in life, it might be scary but you can do it. What matters is that you have faith in yourself” “Let’s get going” you whispered “I think I’m starting to feel the effects of this pill” “I meant what I said” Dennis nodded “I’ll be there for whatever you need, I mean it” By the time you got back to your apartment you were pretty sure you were gonna pass out, from the side effects to mentally and emotionally feeling drained you were beyond thankful to finally be back home “You’re a shit driver” you muttered to Dennis as he parked “I swear the second I feel better I’m getting you a teacher because you’re such a grandma” “The speed limit on the highway was 60, I was going 65” he frowned 

You chuckled and walked with him to your lobby where you saw Robby sitting down keeping to himself as he looked around, “Go back up” you handed your key to him “I’ll be there in a bit” “No” he shook his head “I’m not leaving you alone so if he wants to talk to you he can come up and do it while I’m there too” “I mean it, it’s fine” you assured him “I’m just gonna talk to him up on the terrace” After finally convincing him you’d be fine you walked over to Robby “Hey….how long you been here ?” “An hour or so” he nodded “You weren’t answering my calls or texts so I figured I’d come see you” “I was in Ohio” you admitted “I got….I got the-....I handled what I needed to do” His eyes softened “Why there ?”

“Because everyone in the medical field here in this state knows my dad” you nodded “It was a short drive, not a complicated process at all so it’s all taken care of now” “Well I wish you could’ve told me so I could have gone with you” he admitted “You were with Jack” you looked at him “We’ve all had a shit day and I think it’s time we talk, do you wanna go up to the terrace ?” He nodded “Yeah I think it’s needed” Once you were up there for a while, neither of you spoke. The silence wasn't uncomfortable, just heavy. Finally, Robby broke it , "I've been thinking about what you asked me the other night. I did judge you a lot."

You looked down at your hands "You did."

"I’m sorry for that, I am. But what you did today, that was a tough decision and you did it. I’m glad you chose it." his voice was steady "I hope you know that. I know this wasn't an easy decision. I know you probably questioned it a hundred times."

You nodded once "I did."

"And I also know..." he took a slow breath "Whatever feelings you have about today... they're allowed. You don't have to justify them to me." he leaned forward, resting his forearms on his knees "I need you to hear something from me, I don't think less of you."

Your lip trembled “Okay”

"I never will, I care about you. I really do.” Robby smiled sadly "I think I always will."

You closed your eyes for a second and nodded “I know that now”

"But" he continued quietly, "...I also think things between us are too complicated."

You let out a slow breath "There was never a thing between us Robby, we would hook up and that was that, you said it yourself "

"I don't want to keep hurting you." he shook his head “I hate that I have”

"I know." you nodded “I don’t either”

"I was thinking..." he hesitated "Maybe... maybe we could just be friends."

You looked at him for a long time then you slowly shook your head "No."

He blinked "No ?"

"I don't think we should." his face fell, but he listened "I don't think either of us knows how. "You'd call because you had a hard shift and I'd go be with you. I'd call because I was lonely and you'd answer and come be with me. You were like a cure but that wasn’t right” you smiled sadly "We'd end up right back where we started and it wasn’t right. I would get jealous hearing and seeing you be with other women and talk to them and it’d make me feel like I wanted to throw up but I had no right to. Yes we started off wrong but ultimately it was on both of us, not just one and I don’t want that anymore.” He looked down "I understand. I care about you too."

“Robby I can’t keep trying to make you my responsibility” you admitted quietly “I can’t keep worrying about you but not telling you want you need” “What does that mean ?” he asked

"You've spent so long surviving that you've convinced yourself that surviving is the same thing as living. You carry everyone's pain, you fix everyone but you never let anyone fix you. You need help, Robby."

“I know” he sighed “No” you shook your head “You don’t, I don’t mean a vacation.” He almost smiled because he'd heard that argument before so many times he had lost count, from Dana to Jack to now you but somehow it hit harder because it was you. He couldn’t even look you in the eye 

"I don't mean throwing yourself into more work. I mean real help." you continued on "A therapist, someone who doesn't work with you. "Someone you can tell the truth to."

He rubbed a hand across his face "I've thought about it."

"Thinking about it isn't the same as doing it." you leaned back against your chair , looking exhausted "I spent so long thinking if I care about you enough that” your voice cracked despite you trying hard to keep it together "...you'd finally let someone help you."

His eyes well up almost immediately and he hated it, he hated that he had to show that side to you after trying so hard to keep it together "That wasn't fair to you. It wasn't fair to either of us."

You looked at him with all the gentleness you had left in you and took his hand "I can't be your lifeline, I can’t. I don't even know where I'm trying to swim myself. I still don't know what I want my life to look like. I don’t know what I wanna do. I don't know if I want to move and leave here and figure my life out, I don't know." you laughed softly through tired tears "I'm still figuring myself out and somewhere along the way I forgot that I’m allowed to do that” Robby's own eyes had gone red "You shouldn't have had to.” a long silence settled between you two and finally he nodded, "I'll go."

You frowned slightly "Go where ?"

"Therapy." he gave a small, tired smile "I'll go. I'm promising myself. I don't know if it'll fix anything but maybe...maybe it'll stop me from hurting the people I care about."

You nodded slowly "I think that's a good place to start."

He stood, knowing it was time to leave but at the door, he paused "I meant what I said."

You looked up “I know”

"I'll never judge you." Robby shook his head “I’m proud that you made a decision that was good for you and that you chose you and your well being above all. You deserve a good life, you do. You’ve got a good heart and mind, you can do whatever it is you wanna do. I believe in you so believe in yourself”

You smiled and blinked away tears “Thanks Robby, I mean it.” “I’ll see you around” he grinned “Duh” you rolled your eyes playfully Robby gave one last nod before quietly closing the door behind him. You stood in the silence for a long moment after he was gone, digesting it all because the ending wasn't the drama that you thought it’d be, there were no passionate declarations of love or promises to wait. Just two people who had cared deeply for one another finally admitting that caring wasn't always enough *******************************************************************

The next days went on by as normal as you could possibly keep them and those days slowly turned into weeks where you were slowly beginning to get your groove back as far as feeling like yourself again and getting better at handling things at the hospital….and Jack You should be getting rest before your shift, not texting me.I’ll sleep when I’m dead kid.

Not funny Jack, not funny at all.

I’ll make it up to you somehow don’t you worry.

You weren’t exactly what you were but what you did know was that things were much better after having a talk with him and understanding his apprehension of starting something new so for now you two were just friends, friends who flirted and often spent time together going to dinners and hanging out any free chance you both had

You found yourself in a daze texting him before feeling an object hit your head “Excuse me ?”

“Haven’t seen you eat, thought you could use a granola bar” Dennis smirked “Before you get cranky and complain later about how a migraine is taking over your life and then make me watch gossip girl with you” Rolling your eyes you picked it up and ate it, walking to the bathroom to wash your hands as you heard a male voice loudly reprimanding someone. While you had heard doctors raise their voice tons of times this time felt completely off. You walked until you found them, sighing as you realized it was Langdon. You never liked him, he had teased you endlessly and never got the hint you weren’t okay with it but you didn’t have to deal with him on a day to day basis “Hey” you called walking over “Ever heard of handling issues behind the scenes like a mature adult and maybe not screaming at someone ?” “Stay out of this trust fund baby” he snapped 

“Call me trust fund baby one more time and see what happens Frank” you warned “What ?” he scoffed “You gonna call your daddy on me ? Have me fired because I said the truth about you. Why don’t you go back to typing away on that computer and let me handle my real job ?” You could’ve made a scene but instead you stayed calm and walked away, Trinity walking right behind you “You shouldn’t have done that, I had it handled” “You were staring at him without saying a word” you mentioned “Santos, right ?” “Trinity” she nodded “You’re Dr.Jon’s kid, that’s cool. I see you around a lot” “I mean I kinda work here” you chuckled while walking with her “Are you okay ? I’m sorry he yelled at you like that, it’s not okay. You don’t deserve that no matter what happened. He could’ve talked to you like a human being instead of belittling you.” “Can I tell you something ?” she said suddenly You nodded, stopping in the hall as you leaned against the wall “What’s up ?” “He’s off….something's off about him” Trinity mentioned “Sometimes he comes in and he’s really energetic and constantly talking then other days he’s snappy at everyone and hard to find unless he’s with a patient. He comes out nowhere suddenly feeling chipper and moving quickly” Stillness took over your body as you slowly realized what was going on “Oh” “I don’t wanna get anybody in trouble” she shook her head “But it’s just weird” “I get you” you agreed “You just do what you’re doing and stay out of his way, for your own sake” With that you walked all around the hospital, finally sighing when you found Robby come out of the OR “Hey….can we talk ?” “I got a patient waiting already” he shook his head “Maybe later” “Langdon’s high….he’s on drugs” you whispered “You need to check his stuff to make sure he’s not stealing drugs because something tells me that’s why you’re not able to find him unless he’s actually with a patient” Robby looked at you as if you had told him someone died, his face fell and he started to shake his head “What ? No. Not Frank. There’s no way, no way he’d ever do that. He’s got a wife and kids and a good life, he wouldn’t do that. You just don’t like him and I get he teases you and went a little far sometimes but that’s just-” “If you don’t believe me that’s fine but the least you can do is just get security to open his locker and check his things” you said softly “I really hope I’m wrong, I sincerely do” You went back to your desk and tried your best not to think of it the rest of the shift, feeling relieved when the end of the day finally came “Hey, all set ?” “Yeah just gotta get my backpack from the lockers” Dennis nodded “I’ll go with you” you grinned joining him

Luck was never on your side, you had learned that early on but walking into the scene at the lockers was the one time you wished it was. You stood next to Dennis as Robby was standing in front of Frank holding up a plastic bag with that looked like a vial of medication “She put it there, she fucking hates me !” Frank suddenly pointed at you, walking over and towering over “It was you wasn’t it ? You just can’t handle that I’m the one who didn’t fall for your cookie cutter good girl bullshit” “What are you talking about ?” you whispered “It’s not mine !” Frank raised his voice visibly shaky “You can’t stand that I’m a competent doctor who doesn’t take shit and doesn’t feel threatened by someone like you. I don’t drool over you and your stupid flirty personality, I don’t give into your corny jokes and attitude. I’m the only one here who treats you for what you are, a spoiled brat and you can’t handle it” You didn’t realize his hand was gripping your shoulder before Dennis shoved him off so roughly he fell back against a bench “You don’t touch girls like that, you’re high aren’t you ?” Dennis snapped “I can see it in your eyes and it’s why you’re wearing that watch, you’re hiding the marks.” The reality that it was Dennis and not Robby who defended you or helped you, was a cruel one. Robby had stood there and watched, never bothering to stop Frank and even now was still almost in denial “This is Louie’s medication” Dennis showed Robby “This asshole took a dead man's medication for himself. I remember this, Louie had it with him when he first came in, I had put it aside to dispose of it and he was the one who said he’d do it”

“Get your shit and go home” Robby said calmly “Now, go” “Are you okay ?” Dennis asked you looking you over “I’m wearing this ugly blue blazer so I didn’t even feel it” you shook your head “Come on let’s go home” “You need to file a report” Robby rubbed his face “You were assaulted” “He held my shoulder for no more than 10 seconds while he was high as kite, I’m fine” you looked at him “You handle what you need to with him, I’m going home and I don’t want to speak of this ever again” Not bothering to give him a chance to say anything back you hastily left with Dennis “That goes goes for you too, seriously it wasn’t a big deal” “What’s not a big deal ?” Jack asked with a grin as he came in to start his shift “What’s up ? I texted you earlier if you wanted a coffee before you left ?” “Nothing” you shook your head “I’m good, we’re just heading home. I’ll text you in a bit” Jack looked at you, really looked at you and set his backpack down “What’s wrong ? Tell me” “Nothing” you repeated “I’m just tired is all” “Speak farm boy” Jack looked at Dennis “Please” Dennis looked at you then at Jack and sighed “Langdon got caught with some meds in his locker, he was paranoid and tried to act as if she planted it there and he….he touched her. Robby was there and he told him to leave” “He touched you ?” Jack asked, crossing his arms “He touched you, where ? Where’s Langdon ? He leave already ?” “Oh my god quit it” you rubbed your forehead “It’s done with, it wasn’t a big deal” “Robby” Jack called when he saw him at his desk and walked over “Hey, what the fuck ? You let your doctors assault women now ?” “It wasn’t like that” Robby spoke calmly “He was clearly under the influence of something and didn’t even realize what he did. He’s gone and we followed protocol and he’ll be in a rehab program. Stop talking about it please, it’s been handled.” “You lied for him” you whispered coming up behind Jack “You didn’t tell hospital management he had stolen medication did you ?” “No I did not” he admitted quietly avoiding your eyes “He has a wife and very young children who this would affect, I thought of them and I thought about the fact that who we saw back there and have been seeing for the last month or so isn’t the real him. Reporting him and having him fired and losing his license wouldn’t help him, it would harm him and his family and that’s not what he needs. He needs help.” Jack shook his head in disbelief “I can’t believe you man” “Neither can I” you said quietly “But I guess it tracks” “You know what, I think the other attendings can handle tonight without me” Jack looked at you “Come on, let Whitaker take your car and you and I can hang out” Taking the chance you did as told and left him, leaving Robby still working despite his shift being over and you leaving with Jack as you sat with him at a nearby pizza place “Is it bad I didn’t actually want Langdon fired ?” He shrugged “He’ll have a hell of a hard time anyways” “You alright ?” you asked “I don’t like the idea of someone hurting you and not being able to be there and stop it” he revealed “I care way too much about you to let that happen and it bothers me that you didn’t feel comfortable enough to want to tell me” “I know how you are” you took a bite of your slice  “Plus not exactly a bright idea considering my dad could hear about it and it’d be an issue. I guess it’s a good thing he didn’t report it, I don’t want him assuming things” “Yeah” Jack nodded You could tell he wanted to say more but wouldn’t, he was off and you didn’t know if it was from what you had told him or something else “Are you okay ? Like is something bothering you that I should know about ?”

Jack sighed and put his water down “I just think that if you and I are gonna try this out I don’t wanna be a secret and I don’t wanna sneak around with you. I’m not Robby, I wanna do this right and if that means a conversation with your dad then I’ll do it. I’m man enough to face him and to take care of you if he decides to cut you off. I want the real thing not some hookup here and there and if you can’t commit to that then just tell me” You shook your head and pushed your plate back “Whoa….you’re going into something deep and it’s only been a few weeks of us talking, Jack you can’t be serious here” “I know what I want for myself” he murmured “I know that I like you and that we can work something out. I know that Robby, as much as I love him, will never be who you want him to be so if you’re gonna keep waiting I hate to tell you that the only thing he’s ever gonna love is that hospital. It won’t be you.” “I never mentioned Robby” you whispered “I know but you’re thinking of him” Jack looked down at his lap “The way you look at him and ignore him tells me that you still think of him and that’s okay, I don’t blame you for that at all. I still think of Marisol and that’s okay too. I just want honesty so please just tell me, do you still like Robby ? Do you have feelings for him like that ?” You reached for his hand and took it in yours, “No. I don’t. He’s from the past.” “Then if you wanna move on from the past hear me out” he met your eyes “I was talking to a friend of mine and his wife is chief at a hospital where they’re looking for a day shift attending…I’m thinking about it” he admitted “Only issue is that it’s in Chicago….” “You’d leave ?” you whispered “I would” he nodded “But…you could come with me ?” “What ?” you chuckled “I take the job and you come with me” Jack said softly “You could continue your fashion stuff there and enjoy a new city and state and I could finally relax and have a normal schedule. It’d be new beginnings for both of us kid. What do you say ?” You thought of everything that had happened the last few months, the heartbreak, the stress, the loss and gain of a friendship. It had been a whirlwind and now you had the option of leaving it behind and starting things off fresh…but with that came losing Robby for good and maybe that’s exactly what you needed “I say take the offer and let me know when to pack” you responded as you leaned over and kissed him

*just a little reminder once again that if you read please please reblog with tags and leave feedback :), my ask box is always open or you can just comment here. Feedback is truly what helps the most and I love love reading what you think !!!  This isn't AO3 where kudos means something, this also isn't IG or Twitter where likes matter. Please appreciate the work us writers put into this. It's not hard to leave a comment or reblog with some tags. 

[anxietyobsessedyetdepressed]

cannot wait for casual part 4, I know your labour of love will be so worth it

Thank you so much 🫶💙, the goal is early tomorrow !

[anxietyobsessedyetdepressed]

okay one last thing i'll say about shawn: the quinn thing was weird. i know that the hr guys and those two actors from off campus did it (which i also do sideeye a bit), but it's a little different from me because those two duos are known for smutty romance shows. it remains a little baffling that a 50 year old actor who's won an emmy and is nominated for another one would willingly participate for audio erotica that was built around him being used as fodder for his fans' fantasies. he has the clout from winning a major award and being on an award-winning show! he would've been fine without it. i know he said that he did it to take back his agency and such, but tbh? i think he could've also admitted that it was for attention and the money as well. it's fine to do those things for clout, but doing something that skirts the line between fan and creator isn't exactly something i would take on to take back my agency or whatever. i also do heavily side eye whoever at his pr team allowed him to go through with it. did anybody on his team ever get the idea that perhaps him doing quinn was perhaps a little strange? nobody?

Your reasons are exactly why I side eyed it a bit because…..why would you do that lol. I was very familiar with Quinn and who worked with them in the past so it didn’t shock me as much as thinking about why he’d do that right now. It’s kind of what gave some the impression that he was okay with them sexualizing him and he was feeding into that.

Now for the rest of his life he’s got an audio of him audibly acting out porn scenes in a book lol

[anxietyobsessedyetdepressed]

re: abbot

I think he's probably a libertarian who truly believes in individual autonomy, which would include being pro-lgbt and pro-choice, not necessarily because they're pro those things as a whole, but just generally believe the government shouldn't decide who can and can't marry or force people to have children they don't want.

which is so much more interesting than him being the Wokest Woke attending, compared to the other 3 (Shen, Baran, Robby) who are all more likely to be more progressive than he is, given none of them are white (though Robby may be white-passing, he's still jewish, and would have likely been bullied/harassed for that, especially growing up in the 70s/80s and then being a young doctor with a clearly Jewish last name).

like the intense Woke Abbot fans don't realize that yeah, he's probably socially progressive, but it's less likely to be "Everyone deserves rights" and more likely to be "the government shouldn't tell people what do do with their bodies".

Oh now this 10000000% !!!!!

And idk if you remember the comment that was made by Ellis when she said “looks like our patient got poached by 2 white men” and abbott goes “I know you’re not talking about me”……like is he not fully white 👀👀👀, was that a clue lol

But I do think it’s funny how the fandom thinks he’s the most woke guy ever and imply Robby’s “conservative” because he’s a Jewish boy raised by his grandmother……as if that’s not the main reason he’s in act very liberal and pro healthcare for everyone ??? Like you mentioned above he quite literally attended a synagogue that was rather progressive for the time in the late 70’s and 80’s. Not to mention he did his residency in a hospital that was predominantly serving the black community AND during hurricane katrina (this wasn’t confirmed but timeline wise I think it adds up/ why he mentioned big charity hospital) where he absolutely saw the desperate measures people were taking in order to get healthcare for themselves and their loved ones

Abbott is woke but not the extreme kind some fans think. They were mad when he told that patient in pain to “shut his fucking mouth”, now imagine how they’re gonna feel when they see him be even more of an asshole this coming season since it’ll take place the day after Veterans Day which is notoriously a very dark day for vets

[anxietyobsessedyetdepressed]

to me i think shawn does understand abbot as a character very well but he fell into the trap of fandom obsession.

because like, he said he thinks Abbot is a libertarian (or was) and I think that is literally the most realistic thing. it would make sense the military guy who actively works for swat isn't a liberal/leftist/democrat/progressive.

also I think he's managed to avoid more serious lines of questioning that would have fans in tizzy (the fact not one reporter/interviewer asked him; how do you feel about Abbot being a part of swat in a very anti-police and a high level of distrust in the military) because his answer would likely be one of 3: a very serious true answer that would have "Woke Abbot" fans sobbing, an okayish answer that would be permissible but could be a lot better, or an "but he's depressed" answer that would have a lot of other people angry.

I do take that into consideration as well but I do also think he’s a rather progressive person because of what he did for that girl who wanted an abortion, he risked his career by lying about the measurements just so she could be able to get it. Being a military guy that’s not what I expected from him at all tbh, I was pretty surprised

That being said, I do think he’s split right down the middle. He was in combat and saw lots of bad things along with losing people he knew and then lost his leg and lost his wife. He’s a swat medic who craves the adrenaline but also doesn’t really take the precautions. He’s truly both sides of a coin

[anxietyobsessedyetdepressed]

And let it be known just because Shawn annoys me a little right now…..that doesn’t take away from the fact that Jack Abbott deserves a well written character arc going into season 3 that goes into why he is the way he is and allows us to see more than his sarcastic, flirty, aggressive militant self.

[domesticblisss]

7 & 19 for the ask game <3

7 ⧽. is there a fic you wish you received feedback on, but didn't get any/much? this ask game is asking someone else to then give feedback on said fic, pretty pretty please!!!

god yes!!! i wish i see the signs had gotten more love but tumblr really fucked me over when it came to delivering it. i really put my whole writussy into it (i think) and it bums me out that it is just… there

19 ⧽. give a hint/teaser about something you're writing without any context or explanation! tease us haha

i wasn’t going to write this one any time soon but after a chat with @anxietyobsessedyetdepressed it came to the top of the list for when i finish i see the signs. this is an excerpt from what i sent her

fanfic writer asks

[anxietyobsessedyetdepressed]

It’s gonna be so good and I can’t say anything so I just gotta wait and pray you end up posting it soon 😫😫😫

[anxietyobsessedyetdepressed]

the whole “noah is soooo jealous of shawn” is so hilarious to me because it’s like, what is there for noah to be jealous of? the man won the grand slam for lead actor performances, has been nominated several times for his performances in er and the pitt, scored a directing nom over shawn, has a star on the hollywood walk of fame, and is positively ADORED by the general public. yeah shawn has fans thirsting over him, but like? imo it would be the other way around. for all of his success, he’s still not close to noah’s level sorrynotsorry

Exactly 😇😇😇

Shawn stans act as if Shawn didn’t also do some absolutely mediocre shows and films. He’s in the same age group as Noah and just won his first award after being in this business the same amount of years. I don’t say that to be a bitch but his stans walk around acting as if he’s Al Pacino or something

“Nobody likes Noah”……no, only a group of annoying Pitt stans on social media don’t like him. He’s absolutely universally adored by many actors, directors and fans across the world. I sometimes think they don’t realize just how big ER was and what an impact it had on on people when it aired, the show was HUGE

[anxietyobsessedyetdepressed]

Hot take: I think that Shawn’s role in the show is overemphasized a bit. He’s a great actor, but the way that he’s emphasized in the media versus some of the other cast members rubs me the wrong way a little bit. I know he won the Emmy but why was he doing interviews with the main cast? He’s a supporting guest star! It’s just irritating to me because the press gives him the main cast member treatment when he appears for like, 20 minutes. Idk but this plus how he went about the press before he went on his social media break was honestly a little much.

My mutual said this on Twitter and you would’ve thought she said she wanted him killed off 😂😂

Once again it’s simply the fact that he put himself out there and encouraged the attention so they kind of handed him that promotional work that maybe the others didn’t feel comfortable doing just yet ? I feel like after season 2 a lot of the cast got more comfortable with the media and giving interviews and such. BUT I agree, he was giving interviews and adding in his opinion and using twitter theories to talk about his character and I was over it entirely

[anxietyobsessedyetdepressed]

Okay and also: I find it hilarious that fans and others (including actors/actresses) who claim to stand up for the rights of others, political standpoints, etc, do so on a platform quite literally owned by a Nazi and used by Nazis to spread antisemitism, racism, sexism, homophobia, and anything discrimination based.

Like. We can argue all day about the owners of other social media platforms (such as Instagram and Tik Tok) but we know for sure that Twitter is owned by a nazi. And yet fans who claim to stand for the rights of others use it and complain the show they watch doesn’t? Make it make sense

But when called out about that suddenly it’s…..crickets. When they wanna use derogatory language and slurs and get confronted about the actual context about using said terms they act oblivious or they pull the “I’m a minor” as if that wipes them clean of having any kind of consequence

It’s mostly TikTok tbh and it’s mostly a certain little group of septum wearing multi colored hair having individuals that loooooooove to act morally superior YET will use harmful rhetoric in their examples and don’t enjoy being rightfully informed on why what they say about someone (typically Noah for example) is just antisemitism

[anxietyobsessedyetdepressed]

Sorry to anyone but I totally agree about Shawn. I don't think he was doing it maliciously but it was him enjoying the attention he got. His team should have stepped in a lot sooner. His inactions helped fuel the "George Clooney of the Pitt" angle that was even coming up in interviews, helped fuel the jealousy, and now that it went from fun admiration to downright nastiness and antisemitism, it's too late for him to back out of it.

Despite the fact Noah does engage in fanworks and fan content, he also makes it pretty plain what the show is for, and that character development is above fanships always. He's direct and dry and that's what these crazy fans hate-he refuses to play into ambiguity and pretend things the crazies want to happen might happen. Also, Patrick had a good interview come out where he talked about how Noah "took on a lot of water" for season 1's promotion and basically being the salesman of the show, all by himself, and he didn't understand how much Noah was truly doing for the show until now, and I may be reading it wrong, but I definitely think a lot of the cast has truly seen the reaction from insane fans now and how it's affected Noah & them. And to be fair to Patrick, he does not play into his fanship at all, neither does Taylor (both are pretty firm on a NO for that ship and don't really get it).

It all could've simmered down had he just...stopped talking and being on his socials liking sexy edits of himself or comments alluding to certain things. Jokes or not, his fan base is made up either horny teenage girls or grown women and the only thing they have in common is their lack of literacy skills because they took his liking of comments and videos as insinuation or gospel that he was okay with certain things being said about him and the show. I still think he's a talented actor but my god the whole "Noah's once again being overshadowed by another George Clooney and he's so jealous" angle is the dumbest thing ever considering George keeps dropping hints he wants to join The Pitt and reunite with Noah every chance he talks to media now. And of course Shawn quite literally was jobless again until he booked the Pitt. Because of the show he was able to book some guest star spots and ready or not 2 (which flipped immensely but his stans don't like that lol)

So warner bros greenlit the script to be developed for the Pitt after the sequel rights to ER couldn't be acquired, they also wanted Noah as the main role and created the show around him, so yes....it in fact IS the dr. Robby show !!! That being said, he absolutely took over the promotion of the show and did so very very seriously. He was on every talk show and podcast you could imagine in 2024 and 2025 hyping up that first season why you may ask ? Because everyone knew who he was from his role as John Carter in ER so to many people being able to see him as a doctor again was a big deal, he genuinely brought in that audience of viewers and I do believe it's why the Pitt became such a big success right away. So to see how suddenly the tables turned on him based on rumors with absolutely no truth to them whatsoever and seeing how he's constantly insulted and degraded is so sad to me. Not to mention the antisemitism they love throwing at him claiming it's in defense of Palestine yet here they are on social medias that all have ceo's who are actual zionists who want to kill more innocent Palestinians but apparently because Noah's Jewish he's the devil incarnate himself. Patrick and Taylor seem so annoyed by all the fandom talk and it makes me think, I wonder how the others feel ? I wonder if that's why they all stepped away from social media and interacting with fans.

[anxietyobsessedyetdepressed]

Honestly I think it's funny how the angriest and meanest fans come from the shippers of the straight ships. Yes, some of the fans for the gay mlm/wlw ships are intense, but a lot of them seem to understand the chance of their ship becoming canon is 0.00001%, and they don't want it. (This isn't to say they're not intense or overbearing or delusional, but from what I've seen, they aren't nearly as bad as the fans of the two straight ships). Like, both Patrick and Taylor have talked about not understanding the ship. Taylor has said she feels as though Mel is both asexual and aromantic. Patrick is still firmly on the side that Mel is a friend he needs. And fans ignore both of them, get furious that NW is like "I don't get it but I think fans can ship whatever they want and I'm happy for them!" and Scott pretty much going "nah. Langdon is married, going to work on that marriage". To me it just fully proves the fans of these ships don't care about the women in them and just use Mel/Mohan as a self-insert.

Mohabbott stans take the cake for most evil, I won't argue with that lmao. Hucklerobby is just funny to me because Dennis is NOT some weak little twink, canon wise he's stronger than Robby considering he worked on a farm his whole life and dealt with brothers and was deemed the CPR guy from how strong his arms were. McDavi is just weird af, it's so weird that Fiona said she doesn't get it because she feels Cassie is straight and has shown that and got attacked for it lol. I'm so confused about mel and Langdon lmao, like the actors already said they see it as a new friendship they both need and nothing else and fans are literally in denial. Langdon NEEDS to work on his marriage, I feel like it's a big part of his character arc and him leaving his wife and kids for Mel isn't the romance he or she needs at all. Like can we please get Mel realizing she doesn't need to be there constantly for her sister and forming genuine friendships rather than shoving her in a romance arc she doesn't need ??? Noah could literally come out and say Hucklerobby is canon and he'd still have fans upset saying he only cares about that ship because it involves him and how they want other "representation" aka THEIR choice of ship. Truly, why can't we just have good friendships and love that comes in forms other than romance ??

[anxietyobsessedyetdepressed]

imo i do think that shawn understands abbot as a character. there's been a couple of recent interviews where he delves into abbot's psyche more and where he's headed, especially the deadline article where he states that he thinks abbot is on borrowed time. HOWEVER, i think he should've been focusing more on that than whatever ship and fanservice fodder they were trying to give him. we could've been having an interesting conversation about abbot's complexities as a character and how that plays out in the limited screentime he has, but instead there's more care and attention given to a barely-existing ship and his hotnesss, i guess. nevermind the fact that abbot's most important relationship is and will continue to be robby! i just think it's funny (in the frustrating sort of way) that so many of the actors are like "the pitt isn't a shippy fandom show" and then here comes shawn with a battering ram. i don't think it's all bad, but i do think that it contributed to the show's fandom being the way that it is sadly. sidenote: SG stans trying to have a touchdown moment over their casting in 13 going on 30 was hilarious to me. be excited for your fave, but claiming that they'll be the george clooney of the pitt? i know it's a joke but like....lol

You're right, he probably does given he seems to deep dive into all his characters he's portrayed. Oh god the "borrowed time" comment blew up and there's stans acting like Noah is gonna kill him off out of jealousy as if we didn't first meet Abbott on the roof in an attempt lmao. I really think Shawn was taken back from the admiration that he thought maybe he'd be nice and interact but truly got carried away and played into the para socialism which in return caused psychosis. His and that other ship's stans caused damage that I've never seen before and it's gonna have long lasting effects because they don't get the show, they only wanna seem their gay ships come to life Oh god plz, they were celebrating as if she scored a fucking blockbuster film....it's a remake for the sake of nostalgia and she has a SUPPORTING role...NOT lead like they tried to make it seem. The George Clooney joke is so ironic considering George is the one who's pushing to appear on the show and brings it up any chance he gets.

[anxietyobsessedyetdepressed]

omg i thought that shawn and his whole thing with pushing mohabbot in interviews was honestly kind of weird. look, i get wanting to pander to fans, but he was doing too much for a ship that had three scenes and a dream. what do you mean that abbot is the head of her fanclub and will go to jupiter for her???? look, full power to him for loving the attention, but there had to have been a couple of moments where someone caught on to just how strange he sounded. (i do also blame the interviewers but man did he just keep going)

look, more power to him, but he honestly comes off as an attention seeker. pandering to mohabbot stans, drumming up hopes for a night shift spin-off, the freakin' quinn thing, etc. etc. the man is just so cringy at times and i seriously wonder what kind of pr team he has...

It was sooo cringe 😭😭 !!!! Like you mentioned the content was NOT there for him to be doing all of that...none !!! He was going off of vibes, fan edits and Twitter theories and was doing absolutely way too much when SG was minding her own business just wanting more for HER character lmao. When that interview came out about how Abbott would "go to Jupiter for her" came out I knew he was pandering to fans lmao

He's absolutely an attention seeker and I don't even mean that in a bad way he just truly does like attention and it works for him because she's shown he'll def give fans what they want BUT...he's now realized sometimes it's best to just keep quiet and appreciate the love from afar. I think his PR team def got it all handled the best they could because he's been off socials for a while now and that seems to be what he'll continue to do. He low key ruined it for himself.

[anxietyobsessedyetdepressed]

I fear you’re right and they’re going with the romance plot that Shawn so clearly wants given the picture without his ring…and do I think this could be an opportunity to make Abbott a better character as we explore his grief during what would presumably be his first relationship since his wife? Yes. Do I think it would be great to see it confronted head on that he is not ok just because he talks about going to therapy? Yep. Do I think that’s what’s going to happen? No! I think this will be completely flat and uninteresting, it will play right into the “Mary sue” his fans have created him to be. I also desperately hope it’s not Al Hashimi but I sense it could be. Let’s hope the Mohabbots behave themselves to whatever poor actress it might be

And I hope I'm wrong because oh my gooooooood !!!!

I LOVE romance in shows, I love love and I love different forms of love being shown, that being said I do NOT think Jack Abbott's character should have a love interest because aside from Langdon, Donnie and Crus he's the only one who's married and has mentioned his marriage and how losing his wife almost made him end his life. That being said, why on earth would producers think it'd be a good idea to give him a love interest when we don't even know the background of his first love ? And if it's Al Hashimi ? Bring the rapture because those stans will be starting wars on all socials. I hope if they do it it's someone age appropriate too, he does not need some 20 something year old nurse or resident

and this is just me but I personally think Al Hashimi could have a little angle with Robby because it'd be very much like them coming to an understanding of each other and seeing how different people sometimes work well and understanding each others issues and Robby could see how she was married and has a kid and she's okay and managed to have a life outside the hospital