Aoynari

I love my dog and my partner and my headmate’s and protein ice cream How do u guys do this Adult bodied

[aoyena]

Just some stuff about my system I don’t know what to post here

-O

[aoyena]

Find a creative outlet okay

[aoyena]

No no no no 😭😭😭😭😭

[aoyena]

Can’t click the link but I didn’t know about endo systems I have never looked that up I just know I got this thing with my head and doctors be calling it a system

don’t mean to offend anyone I’m just trying to talk about myself

[aoyena]

:)

The ground is gone

I’m safe

I’m seen

I’m dead

What is any of this

I’m so schizophrenic

there’s no flow to this

I’m so pathetic

Everything I think is stupid

I’m laughing

This is my state

I’m like this every fucking time

I hurt in my chest

My shoulders don’t sit right

I can’t stop thinking about your face in mine

I can’t stop thinking about how pathetic I was I can’t forgive myself because I don’t want to

I don’t want to

I am so weak

I’m weak

I can’t do anything

I’ve been stuck

Living in a nameless loop

I keep fucking up

I keep doing the same stupid shit

I know I am disgusting

I know I am worthless

I know I am nothing

I know I am am the observer

I know all of this is temporary

I know I am safe

I know I’m fine

I know I’m loved

I know nothing is wrong now

I know I have everything

I know I have the rest of my life

I know I am living to experience

I know this is the present moment

I know I am safe

I know I am loved

I know life is beautiful

I know I’m safe

I know it’s going to be okay

But why does it still hurt

Lmfaoooo

Brjhhhh

Lmfaooo nooooo

😭😭😭😭🤙🏽🤙🏽🤙🏽🤙🏽

[aoyena]

Fuck

[aoyena]

Fuck yiu all dude

[aoyena]

Fuck you don’t even know

[aoyena]

I’m my host

[aoyena]

Remembering is so fucking scary

[aoyena]

You ever feel a way but you can’t do anything about it because you are not you :)

[aoyena]

I’m nothing

[aoyena]

seriously what the fuck

[erraticanchorforest]

I got my comment removed on r/DID for saying it's wrong for hosts of systems to treat the other alters in their system as accessories when they should be treated like equals. All alters are equal. There is no "core", there is no "main character" who is more important than everyone else. IDC anymore, if you as the host think the other alters in your system are "your alters" you are very wrong and you are treating actual people like shit, the other alters in your system are not lesser than you. This shit is internalized ableism and I'm sick of it. You are not a singlet with "accessories", so quit acting like it. You are all equal.

[aoyena]

me when my host doesn’t give a fuck about how uncomfortable this is and how awful I fucking feel and how hopeless I feel because no matter how hard I try to fucking communicate it always gets jumbled up in blurriness and amnesia and confusion and insecurities and fears and why the fuck can’t we just be okay with being alone

[aoyena]

Scrolls scrolls oh I hate myself I hope I switch out soon

[aoyena]

Like what do I even do right now

[certified-silly-system]

“I asked chatgpt” well I asked my headmates