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@apartmentsmoke
welcome to my 9-1-1 sideblog! feel free to send me an ask or a dm. i write fic. you can find it in the following places: my ao3 my fic tag (contains some ficlets that are not on ao3) if you would like to be tagged when i post a new fic, please interact with this post. i usually tag my text posts with smoke.txt.
tie your man down with your red string of fate
[Uncropped on AO3]
Remember when I posted about leather daddy Tommy? Twice?
full grain
Explicit — 5,486 words
”New to the lifestyle?” Tommy asked, and pushed a glass into his hands. ”You have that look about you.” He had to bite his tongue, before his mouth had the chance to ask if he looked gay. ”What– What lifestyle is that?” Tommy's eyes were twinkling. ”You're in a leather bar, kid.”
Read on AO3
Your friend’s unpublished fic idea is kind of a dead wife
as requested, a sequel to this
He got out of bed and chugged as much water as he could, without throwing up, before contemplating what to do. Eddie would make fun of him, but he would probably do that anyway.
”There's a new contact in my phone, do you have any idea who it is?”
Eddie laughed so hard, Buck had to pull the phone away from his ear. ”Oh, man, I forgot about that.”
”Do you remember him?”
”Not really. He was tall.”
Tall. That wasn't exactly helpful. ”You remember his name? It was a guy, right?”
”Did he not put his name in?”
”Uh, no. He's saved as boyfriend.” That set Eddie off again. ”You know what, I'll call Ravi.”
"Okay, wow. That was close." + bucktommy please cap 🙏
Ahhh thank you for the prompt! ❣️😘 Hope you like it!
If Tommy believed in signs from the universe, running into Evan in a bar again was maybe his cue to stop drinking. Or start drinking at home. Or… something. Because this was ridiculous.
No. Ridiculous was Evan's life in the last year or so. And there was something about the way his eyes shifted away and his grip on his beer got a little tighter at several points that said there was even more to the story.
Evan, who had always let his words pour out like Tommy had twisted off the handle, was now self-censoring himself to little more than a trickle.
It was concerning. It made Tommy want to dig, find the splinters that were going to start festering inside him, pull them out before they could turn Evan… well, into him. That was the worst thing Tommy could imagine: open, eager, adorable Evan turning into some sort of Tommy Kinard.
But that wasn't his place. He'd walked away from the job then been reminded the position was better unfilled than with him in it. And maybe that was the first sign, really. Because hadn't that been just the sort of thing he'd say?
Still. He bought another round and hoped Evan might open up a little more, might show the edge of one of those splinters so Tommy could… what? Swoop in with tweezers and pull it loose? Patch him up and kiss it better? Since when did he think he could offer something helpful to Evan that didn't involve access to a helicopter?
And it really didn't help that he'd just thought the phrase ‘kiss it better.’ He already knew his gaze kept dropping to Evan's plush mouth. That didn't mean he was going to make himself a bigger fool than he already had. At some point in his life he'd actually learned a lesson or two. Too bad none of them included getting the hell over Evan Buckley.
So Tommy drank his beer and tried to listen without watching Evan's mouth and letting his internal monologue spin off from ‘what if?’ into ‘why not?’
He did a passable job of it. He managed to tell a few stories about interesting rescues. Kept his eyes on Evan's eyes, not that they were less devastating than his mouth but at least they were the socially accepted place to focus for a guy who'd been firmly moved into the ‘ex’ column.
And then it all fell apart as they stood to leave. Evan was untangling those ridiculously long legs from the rungs of the bar stool and Tommy's hand automatically went to his forearm to steady him.
Which wasn't so bad. That could be a friendly gesture.
But then Evan looked up at him. Tommy's body shifted into autopilot (a thing he didn't even use!) and leaned in, hand still on Evan's arm as his mouth came just millimeters from Evan's.
Tommy jerked back and pasted a smile on his face. “Okay, wow. That was close.” He turned his steadying hold on Evan's arm into an awkward pat and then reached for his wallet. “Sorry about that, habit I guess. I'll take care of the tab. See you around-”
“See me around, Buck?” Evan asked.
Tommy stared at his wallet like pulling out his credit card took monumental concentration. Finally, he slipped the card loose and dropped it on the bar.
Then he looked up at Evan who was staring at him with a sort of wary anger, like it wasn't boiling over just yet but the first bubbles of it were there.
“No,” Tommy answered softly. Too softly, probably, for the bar they were in. “No,” he repeated more audibly. “I'm sorry.”
“What part are you sorry for?” Evan pushed, stepping closer. “C-calling me Buck? Almost… almost kissing me? Or…?”
Tommy's shoulders sagged. “Take your pick, Evan. All of it. I'm sorry for all of it.”
“Y-yeah? Well I'm not. I'm not sorry for what we had, Tommy. I'm not… not sorry for-”
It wasn't autopilot. It wasn't smart. It was deliberate and risky and honestly just stupid but it stopped Evan's winding up rant and it hopefully put paid to any wrong idea Evan had about Tommy's apology being for there ever having been a them.
He closed the small distance Evan had left between them and found his mouth.
It should have been awkward or weird or otherwise wrong. But it wasn't. It was almost as good as that first kiss, the risky gamble Tommy had taken not knowing if Evan was going to freak out or punch him or what.
So, just like that kiss really.
Tommy stepped back. “I'm sorry for a lot of things, Evan. But not that. What we had was one of the best things in my life. I'll never be sorry for that.”
“Then why?”
“Why…?”
“Why aren't we… us?” Evan's eyes glistened, the neon lights behind the bar seeming to catch there. “I wanted us to be.”
It punched the air from Tommy's lungs. “I wanted us to be, too. I… guess we just couldn't seem to want it at the same time.”
Evan turned back to the bar and grabbed his beer, draining the last of it before clunking it back down too hard on the bar. “Yeah. W-wanting me’s a temporary condition.”
Tommy grabbed Evan's arm again, his grip tight as he turned Evan back to face him. “No, it's not. Not for me it's not. Think whatever else you want about me and it's probably true. But I don't think there'll ever be a moment in my life when I'm safe from wanting you.”
And then Evan was kissing him. And not just kissing him, kissing him like Tommy was every good and perfect thing he'd ever wanted, like Tommy was special, like maybe, just maybe, Evan wanted him too.
Then he pulled away and Tommy had to grab the bar edge to keep from stumbling into his bar stool on suddenly shaky legs.
“Three beers,” Evan said.
“What?”
“I've only had three beers and we were here talking for hours.”
“Okay?”
“I'm not drunk. I'm not being stupid, impulsive Buck. I'm not Bucking up again.”
“I didn't think - wouldn't think that,” Tommy answered, still feeling off-kilter and unsteady.
“Come home with me. Or I'll come home with you. And we'll do Saturday and all the Saturdays and we won't… we won't keep letting ourselves…” Evan faltered. “If you meant it, I mean. If you-”
“I do. I mean it. I've never meant anything more.”
“Yeah?” And there was that sunshine smile Tommy remembered, the unclouded one that could melt every icy wall Tommy could throw between them. As long as he kept looking at it; as long as he didn't turn and walk away.
He took Evan's hand. “Yeah.”
“Hey. Do… do you have a shift tomorrow?”
Brushing his thumb along Evan's finger, Tommy shook his head. “Nope. I'm off for the next two days.”
“Me too.”
Tommy had to briefly take his hand back to sign the bill and put his credit card away but then Evan caught it again.
And held it as they walked to the door.
Together.
(Prompt from this list of you want to send me one to make about Buck and Tommy!)
Suddenly, a man was up in his face. ”Can I hug you?”
”Uh, sure,” Buck said.
The guy nearly knocked him off his feet. As Buck wrapped his arms around him, he hissed, ”Be my boyfriend.”
”What?”
”Guy behind me won't take a hint.”
”Hi, baby,” Buck said loudly. ”I couldn't find you! Have you been here long?” His boyfriend looked at him, seemingly taken aback by the theatrics.
For the AU game, I think you may hate this but I think you could do justice to a Multiverse, however you want to interpret that 😋
Oh, the multiverse, a fun little idea that now has to be crammed into everything because if the MCU is doing something then everyone has to do the exact same thing, even if the MCU is doing it in the most boring way possible.
The multiverse is like any other kind of narrative trope or tool in telling stories, in that it is neutral and depends on the skill of the artist wielding it. I personally think the multiverse works best on a narrowly focused character level. When a character is literally confronted with themselves and the choices they've made, what does that reveal about them? Are they jealous of their alternate self? Do they regret not taking a certain road? Does seeing a version of themself that did take that road give them a kind of peace? Or does it enrage them? Do they even like themself? Is this alternate timeline/universe in trouble and the characters have to grapple with the morality of helping or using their resources to save themselves? Ultimately, what does this say about who the characters are?
The MCU approach to the multiverse is extremely boring to me. Oh look, here's the Fantastic Four and Professor X from another reality are we going to do anything with that? Nope, we're going to explode their heads. The MCU isn't doing anything interesting with the multiverse other than just bashing dolls together. And look, I write fanfic, I write au fanfic, I love playing dolls, but I'm not being given millions of dollars to make movies that have dominated the past twenty years of popular culture that ultimately do nothing and say nothing. (Someone give me millions of dollars and lfj's contact info and I will turn the time loop fic into a movie.)
I think Spiderverse strikes a good balance between these two. You have the fun gags and visuals of the various spider-people--I particularly like Noir Spider-Man and the looney tune hijinks of Spider-Ham--but they are there to support Miles's story. As they tell him when he loses his Uncle Aaron, they've all lost someone they love and they all understand and grieve with him. Spider-Man is defined by having great power and the great responsibility that goes along with it, but they now know that great responsibility is shared among them. (Across the Spiderverse's use of the multiverse is different than Into the Spiderverse's and while I like Across the Spiderverse and love its animation, on a story level I think Spiderverse is the better movie.)
Anyway, that's enough media criticism. Here's some weird bullshit.
(cw: for referenced past child abuse)
--
1. The Council of Tommys meet for the first time when they’re seventeen. They’ve always been there, flickers of shadow that move with or away from him: Tommy turned left, others went right; he opted for AP Physics instead of Biology and meant Shawn, another Tommy took Bio and met Beth; he skipped class to drive up to the lake with Shawn, the other Tommy lost his virginity to Beth; he learned to keep his mouth shut at home, another Tommy showed up to school with a broken arm. Tommy spent most of his life alone, but he was never lonely.
“I’m just saying,” says a Tommy with long hair and pierced ears, “there’s other options than enlisting.”
“Like what?” Tommy says. He was too slow last week; his finger is splinted Some days all he wants to do is scream himself to death. “Where else are we going to fucking go?”
“Not into the fucking army,” another Tommy spits, lip split and furious. “Do you know what they do to guys like us?”
There are infinite Tommys at the Council, a recursive fractal stretching without end, and they all shift and press knuckles to their mouths. They all feel it, the need to start screaming and never stop. In the words of Tracy Chapman, leave tonight or live and die this way.
“I got an aunt in Pennsylvania,” a Tommy at the far end of the rooms says. His hair is shorn close to his scalp and he holds himself so small and scared, a prey animal. “I’m going there.”
“That’s crazier than the army plan,” the angry Tommy says with an ugly laugh. “I’ve never met her. I don’t even know her name.”
“It’s Anne,” Tommy says, but it’s lost in the ensuing arguing.
Pennsylvania Tommy, as scared and small as he is, is still a Kinard, and he stands up and says, firm and unforgiving, “I saved up money, and I got a car, and I am not dying here.” He looks to Tommy. “Do what you gotta do to get out of here.”
And then that Tommy leaves the Council for his own life.
Into the desperate, terrified silence, Tommy says, “My birthday is in a couple of months. I’m going. You do what you want.”
Tommy goes back to his life, and enlists the day he turns eighteen. He leaves home and he, at least, never looks back.
I told @sad-girl-hours23 about 100 years ago that I would clean up my thoughts on her post that tickled my brain and write a ficlet and I finally had some time this evening to do just that.
This is part one! Part two is on the way.
I set this earlier, S2 Buck or so, because I like the idea of post-Abby Buck meeting a guy who's kinda nervous and only recently out… and who maybe went overboard at the gym as a way to make himself physically bigger and able to cope with the changes in his life.
Mwah! <3
____
Buck has friends.
Lots of friends, if anyone's asking. (They're not).
Just… none who were available to celebrate his birthday on a Tuesday night. They have families and responsibilities that he doesn't, so here he is, alone — not lonely — in a bar, with two frozen margaritas under his belt and another one in front of him.
As he picks at a bowl of pretzel pieces he wonders if he might run into someone he knows: he's been here enough times to recognise a few faces, but not so many that they recognise his. It's kinda dark and gloomy in the corner of the booth he's settled himself in. The leather seat in this subterranean joint is older than grandpa who died before he was born. The people he can pick out are more likely to have a name like McLovin on their IDs than the one their parents' gave them and yeah, Buck still considers himself young but he isn't that young.
what if Buck was an ecologist and Tommy was the pilot flying him to his extraordinarily remote study location
truly the least equipped person to handle this prompt but i appreciate your faith in me. 💖anyway, i've filled this over on ao3:
---
swimming with sharks bucktommy, 1.4k, complete
"You know what's crazier than a guy flying out here several times a year to research shark breeding grounds he can't find?" Evan asks. "The guy who flies him out there." Tommy smiles. "Guilty."
Hello! I saw the post about the BuckTommy Book Club discord and was curious if you would be willing to explain more about it and the setup and how it would work?
Hi anon! Happy to discuss the BuckTommy Book Club - our setup and goal is for BuckTommy fans to have a space to read, or reread, BuckTommy fics together. We currently have discussions of two multi-chapter fics going that were voted on by the community, and we plan to have discussions of shorter fics soon as well. For the multi-chapter fic discussion, we are currently reading a chapter a week, but that timeline may be changed if people in the server would prefer a different timeframe. We plan to share the comments in the server with the authors of the fics, and we encourage people to also kudos/comment on the fics on Ao3.
If you have any other questions feel free to send me another ask or message me here or on Discord!
The BuckTommy Book Club Discord is now open! I'm excited to read and discuss incredible fic with this great fandom. Here is the invite link: https://discord.gg/G5UtgJjmq
The BuckTommy Book Club Discord is now open! I'm excited to read and discuss incredible fic with this great fandom. Here is the invite link: https://discord.gg/G5UtgJjmq
The BuckTommy Book Club Discord is now open! I'm excited to read and discuss incredible fic with this great fandom. Here is the invite link: https://discord.gg/G5UtgJjmq
The BuckTommy Book Club Discord is now open! I'm excited to read and discuss incredible fic with this great fandom. Here is the invite link: https://discord.gg/G5UtgJjmq
I'm excited to see all the interest in the BuckTommy Fic Book Club! I mentioned in the original post that I was considering using Discord to host; since then, I've also received suggestions of using a Tumblr Community or a forum. I've used forums in the past and believe that a forum using jcink/proboards could be useful for people who may feel uncomfortable interacting in a Discord setting, but I'm open to all options, especially since Discord is what most people are probably familiar with. I've made a poll below so we can determine what the majority of people would be the most comfortable with.
Where should the BuckTommy Fic Book Club be hosted?
Discord
Tumblr Communities
A forum (jcink/proboards)
A dreamwidth community
Somewhere else - please let me know your suggestion
Since tumblr communities won the poll - I looked into making one and ran into some cons. First, you cannot run or participate in a community on your sideblog. This is a sideblog and it's honestly a dealbreaker for me that I'm unable to make a community or participate in a community with it. Discord was the option that received the second highest number of votes. This also has some downsides: some people don't wish to use discord, and a discord server would not be public, which means that it would be harder for authors to see discussion about their fics if they were unaware of the server or didn't wish to join. However, there's also pros: a lot of people are already familiar with Discord and how to use it; it would be easy to set up a discord server; each fic / discussion could be its own channel or thread within a channel or Regarding a forum, the ProBoards ToS can be pretty restrictive, so this would be a Jcink forum. However, it would have to be premium for content above PG-13, and Jcink premium costs 10 USD/month or 80 USD/year, so it is an option but basically the only paid option, which I'm reluctant to do. Additionally, while I've used Jcink in the past, it's been years and I'm less familiar with how I'd set up a forum. Also, there may be some privacy concerns with a forum - as Admin, I'd be able to see people's IPs and emails. Dreamwidth is free to use and make an account on. People without accounts can view a community allows people without accounts to view posts and comments, and if I made a community, I could allow people to anonymously post comments on posts (though this feature is easily abusable). There are a multitude of options for discussions: for example, each fic could be discussed in a separate post, with threads for each chapter of multi-chapter fics or threads for people who want to discuss on a re-read versus people who haven't read the fic before and don't want to be spoiled. Dreamwidth is also very privacy-oriented for those who may be concerned. The major con with DW is that many people aren't familiar with it and may have issues using the site. tl;dr After looking into our options, I think a Discord or Dreamwidth are the best options. If anyone has thoughts they want to share, please use the replies or feel free to message me!
I'm excited to see all the interest in the BuckTommy Fic Book Club! I mentioned in the original post that I was considering using Discord to host; since then, I've also received suggestions of using a Tumblr Community or a forum. I've used forums in the past and believe that a forum using jcink/proboards could be useful for people who may feel uncomfortable interacting in a Discord setting, but I'm open to all options, especially since Discord is what most people are probably familiar with. I've made a poll below so we can determine what the majority of people would be the most comfortable with.
Where should the BuckTommy Fic Book Club be hosted?
Discord
Tumblr Communities
A forum (jcink/proboards)
A dreamwidth community
Somewhere else - please let me know your suggestion
Since tumblr communities won the poll - I looked into making one and ran into some cons. First, you cannot run or participate in a community on your sideblog. This is a sideblog and it's honestly a dealbreaker for me that I'm unable to make a community or participate in a community with it. Discord was the option that received the second highest number of votes. This also has some downsides: some people don't wish to use discord, and a discord server would not be public, which means that it would be harder for authors to see discussion about their fics if they were unaware of the server or didn't wish to join. However, there's also pros: a lot of people are already familiar with Discord and how to use it; it would be easy to set up a discord server; each fic / discussion could be its own channel or thread within a channel or Regarding a forum, the ProBoards ToS can be pretty restrictive, so this would be a Jcink forum. However, it would have to be premium for content above PG-13, and Jcink premium costs 10 USD/month or 80 USD/year, so it is an option but basically the only paid option, which I'm reluctant to do. Additionally, while I've used Jcink in the past, it's been years and I'm less familiar with how I'd set up a forum. Also, there may be some privacy concerns with a forum - as Admin, I'd be able to see people's IPs and emails. Dreamwidth is free to use and make an account on. People without accounts can view a community allows people without accounts to view posts and comments, and if I made a community, I could allow people to anonymously post comments on posts (though this feature is easily abusable). There are a multitude of options for discussions: for example, each fic could be discussed in a separate post, with threads for each chapter of multi-chapter fics or threads for people who want to discuss on a re-read versus people who haven't read the fic before and don't want to be spoiled. Dreamwidth is also very privacy-oriented for those who may be concerned. The major con with DW is that many people aren't familiar with it and may have issues using the site. tl;dr After looking into our options, I think a Discord or Dreamwidth are the best options. If anyone has thoughts they want to share, please use the replies or feel free to message me!
