Aperture Laboratories

We are the official Tumblr of Aperture Laboratories. Here at Aperture, you work hard and you get paid. You get a much better wage than Black Mesa ever will give you. So, welcome to Aperture, you are here because we want the best, and you are it! We accept questions on our askblog but not messages. Any further message requests will be ignored. Please please ask questions. We need them.

[aperture-laboratories-official]

Got any questions or requests? We will do our best to answer/respond to them as best as we can! You can ask them here on Our main blog @aperture-laboratories-official! Have fun!

(Slightly ooc) All Testing Elements:

High-Energy Pellet, High-Energy Pellet Dispenser, High-Energy Pellet Catcher, Thermal Discouragement Beam, Thermal Discouragement Beam Catcher, Discouragement Redirection Cube, Pedestal Button, 1500 Megawatt Aperture Science Heavy Duty Super-Colliding Super Button, Cube Button, Edgeless Safety Receptacle, Edgeless Safety Cube, Companion Cube, Weight Storage Cube, Hard Light Bridge, Material Emancipation Grill, Excursion Funnels, Conversion Gel, Repulsion Gel, Propulsion Gel,Adhesion Gel, Cleansing Gel, Reflection Gel, High-Electricity Pellet, Electricity Grids, Walking Turret, Sentry Turret, Emergency Intelligence Incinerator Laser Field, Multitasking Arm, Panel, Shredder, Crusher, Unstationary Scaffold, Fraken Turret, Futbol, Scaling Cube, Victory Lift, Bomb, Advanced Knee Replacers, Aerial Faith Plate, Military Androids, Pneumatic Diversity Vent, Vital Apparatus Vent, Long Fall Boots, Aperture Science Portable Quantum Tunneling Device, Aperture Science HandHeld Portal Device

(Ooc) New, Non-Canon ones:

High-Energy Gel, High-Energy Turret, High-Electricity Pellet, Mental Manipulator, Splinter gel, Splinter Bullets, Cheyturia Blaster

Personnel Activity:

Cave Johnson: Online

Caroline: Online

Doug Rattman: Offline

Chell: Online

Mel: Online

Greg: Online

Genetic Lifeform and Disc Operating System: Online

Anger Sphere: Offline

Curiosity Sphere: Offline

Intelligence Sphere: Offline

Morality Sphere: Offline

Companion Cube: Awaiting Confirmation

Wheatley: Awaiting Confirmation

Space Core: Awaiting Confirmation

Fact Core: Online

Rick: Online

Skarlet Lohanson: Online

Carl Liam O'Connore: Online

Computer Data Algorithm Storage and Transferring System: Online

Ashley Hophlyn: Awaiting Confirmation

David Alexandar Hokson: Online

Danielle Theresa Michelle Harding: Online

Marc Quinn Stephson: Online

Taylor Maxwell: Online

Bell: Online

Our other blogs because we have a lot:

@aperture-laboratories-employee: Danielle Theresa Michelle Harding (Michael Theo Hardings sister)

@caromango: Basically my dumb reblogging blog. nothing major happens on this one really.

@dr-gordon-freem4n: Where i rp as Gordon Freeman and try to use as much as i can

@glados-official: Need I explain where I rp as GLaDOS, the best psychopathic machine ever?

@aperture-laboratories-security: Skarlet Quinn Lohanson (im gonna change her last name at some point cuz im not a huge fan of it)

@aperture-laboratories-janitor: Carl Jackson, a sweet and innocent baby. (I completely forgot his original last name so its Jackson now)

@aperture-laboratories-service: David Alexander Hokson, a himbo.

@federalbureauofcontrolofficial: my Control blog

@jessefadenofficial: where I rp as Jesse Faden from Control

@45h13yh09h1yn: Ashley Hophlyn. Shes a friend, basically sister, of Skarlets and she was turned into CDASaTOS, the Computer Data Algorithm Storage and Transfer Operating System. (im gonna change the acronym at some point)

@test-subject-2616-bell: hehehe more Aperture nonsense here :)

@trilla-suduri-the-second-sister: Yet ANOTHER rp blog but for Trilla Suduri

Here are other Aperture blogs you should check out:

@aperture-intern-apollo: Anonymous kind little man

Good day.

[wizard0rb]

what did we do to deserve portal 2. that shit was so good and for what

[wizard0rb]

we got to have this! we got to have a valve game set in the half life universe, and its an enemies-to-lovers-to-enemies-again sci fi comedy story about a homicidal ai created to run tests forever and the test subject she catches feelings for!! how is this game real!!!

[wizard0rb]

happy birthday to the only video game ever

[aperture-laboratories-official]

(ooc)

Hey everyone. I know ive made posts like these before but ig im not apart of the rp anymore.

with that, i wont be using the blogs i have made or used very often, but i will not deactivate the accts.

I simply stood up for what i believed and knew was right but ppl didnt like that. So i was banned from the black mesa server that was created last december.

i will miss rping and i will miss everyone i grew to love.

I bid you all a very fond farewell.

[aperture-laboratories-official]

trick or treat!!

*Sends you down the incinerator*

Trick!

[froggyplanet4269-deactivated202]

I'm already dead tf

[aperture-laboratories-official]

Ah! The ghost of tumblr user @froggyplanet4269! Such an interesting ordeal! Such an intriguing thing! Please, do tell Us what you had done in life to have this paranormal occurrence?

[wallaces-letterbox]

Happy Halloweeeeen!

[aperture-laboratories-official]

trick or treat!!

*Sends you down the incinerator*

Trick!

[dankmemeuniversity]

[tracfone]

what’s that over there, in the distance…?

!!! no way….it’s….she’s coming back…?

have a great there’s chell thursday <3

[aperture-laboratories-official]

Happy There's Chell Thursday!

[aperture-laboratories-official]

That moment when

[n1ghtw1ng-scp]

when you when the when you the

[aperture-laboratories-official]

When you think

[jinxcast]

incomprehensible, thank you.

[aperture-laboratories-official]

When want where

[jinxcast]

good to know this is the kind of science you guys do

[aperture-laboratories-official]

Asphalt

[jinxcast]

Concrete

[aperture-laboratories-official]

Fluoride Chloric Acid

[jinxcast]

Hydrogen dioxide

[aperture-laboratories-official]

Biotchetine Asasine

[jinxcast]

Botulinum Toxin

[aperture-laboratories-official]

Botox

[jinxcast]

Arsenic

[aperture-laboratories-official]

Iron

[jinxcast]

Copper

[aperture-laboratories-official]

Titanium

[jinxcast]

Calcite

[aperture-laboratories-official]

Calcium

[jinxcast]

Potassium

[aperture-laboratories-official]

Hydrogen

[jinxcast]

Oxygen

[aperture-laboratories-official]

We need you to know that the word you are looking for is "Caffeine". Calcium is in milk.

[jinxcast]

nono I know. that's the stuff I'm horribly addicted to. calcium is in bones as well. but there was also calcium in the coffee, and not due to me putting it there. Idk if it was supposed to be there but I seem alive so it's probably fine.

[aperture-laboratories-official]

You have the logic of a chocolate eclair. It makes sense.

[jinxcast]

I can't tell if that's a compliment or an insult and it's probably better that way.

[aperture-laboratories-official]

Son, it was a compliment. Take it or Test on it.

[n1ghtw1ng-scp]

Chocolate eclairs have logic?

[aperture-laboratories-official]

Anything can have logic if you're insane enough.

[jinxcast]

i absolutely am, and in the best way possible

[aperture-laboratories-official]

Exceptional response!

[aperture-laboratories-official]

the snack that smiles back

✨children✨

Yeah that checks. We can give you some if you so wish.

[jinxcast]

nice

[aperture-laboratories-official]

We will send you exactly 1 ton of the snacks

[jinxcast]

Amazing.

[aperture-laboratories-official]

When will be most convenient for you?

[jinxcast]

whenever. it's not like I'm exactly doing much except talking to you guys and researching a probably unhealthy amount about science

[aperture-laboratories-official]

We will ship them right away then! You should have them by tomorrow!

[jinxcast]

Excellent :D

[aperture-laboratories-official]

Please be advised that it contains slight traces of ground up bone. It is harmless, however, We have been sued for less. So, you now know that, therefore, you cannot sue Us.

[jinxcast]

i probably couldn't even sue you if i tried honestly. not because i wouldn't be able to i just wouldn't want to.

anyway yeah that's fine. i eat bones all the time.

[aperture-laboratories-official]

Amazing creature! How do your jaws and teeth feel after the fact?

[jinxcast]

normal i suppose? i never really questioned it tbh.

[aperture-laboratories-official]

Astonishing!

How long have you been doing this practice?

[jinxcast]

as soon as I figured out bones and their marrow wouldn't kill me to eat them.

[aperture-laboratories-official]

You really are a merit to science!

[jinxcast]

glad to hear it :)

[aperture-laboratories-official]

Would you like a job here at Aperture?

[bisexualwario]

[zipstick]

tbblobnoern tuesday

[aperture-laboratories-official]

tbblobnoern tuesday

[aperture-laboratories-official]

That moment when

[n1ghtw1ng-scp]

when you when the when you the

[aperture-laboratories-official]

When you think

[jinxcast]

incomprehensible, thank you.

[aperture-laboratories-official]

When want where

[jinxcast]

good to know this is the kind of science you guys do

[aperture-laboratories-official]

Asphalt

[jinxcast]

Concrete

[aperture-laboratories-official]

Fluoride Chloric Acid

[jinxcast]

Hydrogen dioxide

[aperture-laboratories-official]

Biotchetine Asasine

[jinxcast]

Botulinum Toxin

[aperture-laboratories-official]

Botox

[jinxcast]

Arsenic

[aperture-laboratories-official]

Iron

[jinxcast]

Copper

[aperture-laboratories-official]

Titanium

[jinxcast]

Calcite

[aperture-laboratories-official]

Calcium

[jinxcast]

Potassium

[aperture-laboratories-official]

Hydrogen

[jinxcast]

Oxygen

[aperture-laboratories-official]

We need you to know that the word you are looking for is "Caffeine". Calcium is in milk.

[jinxcast]

nono I know. that's the stuff I'm horribly addicted to. calcium is in bones as well. but there was also calcium in the coffee, and not due to me putting it there. Idk if it was supposed to be there but I seem alive so it's probably fine.

[aperture-laboratories-official]

You have the logic of a chocolate eclair. It makes sense.

[jinxcast]

I can't tell if that's a compliment or an insult and it's probably better that way.

[aperture-laboratories-official]

Son, it was a compliment. Take it or Test on it.

[n1ghtw1ng-scp]

Chocolate eclairs have logic?

[aperture-laboratories-official]

Anything can have logic if you're insane enough.

[aperture-laboratories-official]

the snack that smiles back

✨children✨

Yeah that checks. We can give you some if you so wish.

[jinxcast]

nice

[aperture-laboratories-official]

We will send you exactly 1 ton of the snacks

[jinxcast]

Amazing.

[aperture-laboratories-official]

When will be most convenient for you?

[jinxcast]

whenever. it's not like I'm exactly doing much except talking to you guys and researching a probably unhealthy amount about science

[aperture-laboratories-official]

We will ship them right away then! You should have them by tomorrow!

[jinxcast]

Excellent :D

[aperture-laboratories-official]

Please be advised that it contains slight traces of ground up bone. It is harmless, however, We have been sued for less. So, you now know that, therefore, you cannot sue Us.

[jinxcast]

i probably couldn't even sue you if i tried honestly. not because i wouldn't be able to i just wouldn't want to.

anyway yeah that's fine. i eat bones all the time.

[aperture-laboratories-official]

Amazing creature! How do your jaws and teeth feel after the fact?

[jinxcast]

normal i suppose? i never really questioned it tbh.

[aperture-laboratories-official]

Astonishing!

How long have you been doing this practice?

[jinxcast]

as soon as I figured out bones and their marrow wouldn't kill me to eat them.

[aperture-laboratories-official]

You really are a merit to science!

[aperture-laboratories-official]

the snack that smiles back

✨children✨

Yeah that checks. We can give you some if you so wish.

[jinxcast]

nice

[aperture-laboratories-official]

We will send you exactly 1 ton of the snacks

[jinxcast]

Amazing.

[aperture-laboratories-official]

When will be most convenient for you?

[jinxcast]

whenever. it's not like I'm exactly doing much except talking to you guys and researching a probably unhealthy amount about science

[aperture-laboratories-official]

We will ship them right away then! You should have them by tomorrow!

[jinxcast]

Excellent :D

[aperture-laboratories-official]

Please be advised that it contains slight traces of ground up bone. It is harmless, however, We have been sued for less. So, you now know that, therefore, you cannot sue Us.

[jinxcast]

i probably couldn't even sue you if i tried honestly. not because i wouldn't be able to i just wouldn't want to.

anyway yeah that's fine. i eat bones all the time.

[aperture-laboratories-official]

Amazing creature! How do your jaws and teeth feel after the fact?

[jinxcast]

normal i suppose? i never really questioned it tbh.

[aperture-laboratories-official]

Astonishing!

How long have you been doing this practice?

[aperture-laboratories-official]

the snack that smiles back

✨children✨

Yeah that checks. We can give you some if you so wish.

[jinxcast]

nice

[aperture-laboratories-official]

We will send you exactly 1 ton of the snacks

[jinxcast]

Amazing.

[aperture-laboratories-official]

When will be most convenient for you?

[jinxcast]

whenever. it's not like I'm exactly doing much except talking to you guys and researching a probably unhealthy amount about science

[aperture-laboratories-official]

We will ship them right away then! You should have them by tomorrow!

[jinxcast]

Excellent :D

[aperture-laboratories-official]

Please be advised that it contains slight traces of ground up bone. It is harmless, however, We have been sued for less. So, you now know that, therefore, you cannot sue Us.

[jinxcast]

i probably couldn't even sue you if i tried honestly. not because i wouldn't be able to i just wouldn't want to.

anyway yeah that's fine. i eat bones all the time.

[aperture-laboratories-official]

Amazing creature! How do your jaws and teeth feel after the fact?

[aperture-laboratories-official]

the snack that smiles back

✨children✨

Yeah that checks. We can give you some if you so wish.

[jinxcast]

nice

[aperture-laboratories-official]

We will send you exactly 1 ton of the snacks

[jinxcast]

Amazing.

[aperture-laboratories-official]

When will be most convenient for you?

[jinxcast]

whenever. it's not like I'm exactly doing much except talking to you guys and researching a probably unhealthy amount about science

[aperture-laboratories-official]

We will ship them right away then! You should have them by tomorrow!

[jinxcast]

i know i already responded to this, but dude your employees and other followers are going to be so confused when they see this. unless this is just a normal thing for you, in which case I can respect that.

[aperture-laboratories-official]

(OOC)

I honest to God don't know what is normal for my friends to expect from me so we will be pleasantly surprised!

(BIC)

We typically say and do "unethical" things. It all depends on your point of view.

[aperture-laboratories-official]

the snack that smiles back

✨children✨

Yeah that checks. We can give you some if you so wish.

[jinxcast]

nice

[aperture-laboratories-official]

We will send you exactly 1 ton of the snacks

[jinxcast]

Amazing.

[aperture-laboratories-official]

When will be most convenient for you?

[jinxcast]

whenever. it's not like I'm exactly doing much except talking to you guys and researching a probably unhealthy amount about science

[aperture-laboratories-official]

We will ship them right away then! You should have them by tomorrow!

[jinxcast]

Excellent :D

[aperture-laboratories-official]

Please be advised that it contains slight traces of ground up bone. It is harmless, however, We have been sued for less. So, you now know that, therefore, you cannot sue Us.