MAGIC ANONS ACCEPTED!

Send questions to the security team of Aperture Science right here!

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MAGIC ANONS NOW AVAILABLE FOR THE LOW LOW PAYMENT OF SENDING AN ASK!

You! Yeah, you! Ever wanted to send a in good ol' anonymous ask, but it just wasn't interesting enough? Not enough pizzazz? Well, pal, have i got the deal for you!

For a limited time offer, you can send in your very own Magic Anons™! Modify the course of the blog ever-so-slightly or majorly, make a poor sap unable to tell anything but the truth, invert personalities or gravity-- hell, you could even turn the facility into mantis men!

Now, you may be thinking, "what's the catch?" There is none! All you gotta do is send in your ask, specify it's status as a Magic Anon™, list how long its effects will last, and we'll process your submission faster than a bolt of lightning!

Be sure to send yours today! For fun, for drama-- for science!

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Abbott, being 'friendly' with a scientist hm?

Abbott: Awe come on, it's nothing really, i mean-- even if it was anything, a scientist? Kind of, uh, out of my league...

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Bates.... what did... why did you do that? They needed help...

Bates: Sorry, I-- I don't know what you're talking about. I'm only ever doing my job.

Bates: I.... don't have time for this.

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Ooohhh!! Tell us about your new parts!

Abbott: I like the beard bein' longer, could never grow it out this long before.

Abbott: Seems like the uh, only others that're liking this whole thing are Lawrence 'n Brady. Think everyone else is pretty.... confused.

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Magic Anon™️: EVERYONE is animalfolk. Duration: 2-3 days IF desired ((but in my heart??? Forever💛))

M!A START: ANIMALFOLK

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He-...llo..? M..

N....ame...

M...el...

...

....

Stu..ck... undern...n..nn....eath....

Va....ul....t

Bates: ....

OFF SCREEN: Bates! 'S there somethin' on there?

Bates: Ah, no, I was just checking the messages. Nothing new yet.

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There are two kinds of people. Which of you freak out over spiders and which of you put them in a cup

Haynes: Uhm.... Most of th' other guards jus' squish 'em, I know Lawrence's scared of 'em.... But um, I-I like to pick spiders up and bring 'em somewhere, y'know, if they're not dangerous....

Haynes: I-- uh, I know Bates jus' leaves 'em alone and, and Young puts 'em in a cup. 'S nice they don't jus' kill th' lil' things for no reason..

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Anyone have any crushes? If so... who ...?

Hoffman: Well, uh, I kinda think Marlene's all.... pretty 'n nice 'n all that....

Hoffman: But uh, I know Brady's been flirting with a guard you guys wouldn't know, and uh...... Abbott seems real friendly with one of the scientists, or 's what I've heard at least.

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any near-death experiences among you lot?

McBride: Yeah, I fuckin'... didn't even want to be a guard, but if that wasn't enough salt in the wound, I almost fuckin' die from a misfire on my first week!

Bates: My, um.... my mother, she-- she thought I was someone else, it really.... wasn't her fault, um, wasn't......

McBride: .... Geez. That's uh.... rough.

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...... Hopper?

Hopper: What?

Hopper: ... Okay, listen, 's just-- it's hard for me t' interact with people outside of the workplace. I mean, Jesus, I barely talk t' my roommate! 'S that what you wanna hear??

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So... how many people have died? Or at least, how many people have died that you know of?

Naransky: Well, uh.... There was James, 'nd Vaughn.... Cassaro.... Knoll, Martinez, Mason......... Graves......

Naransky: I'd guess about, uh, forty or so guards just from our dorms in the uh, last year..... Not sure about scientists and whatnot...

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Okay. How many of you are virgins

Brady: Don't really see th' appeal of sex, 's gross 'n I don't plan on havin' it.

Graham: I'm just waitin' 'til I meet the right person, y'know how it is.

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Curry, do you know how cute you are? You are literally one of the cutest people I've ever seen 🥺🥺🥺

Curry: Well, gee, I can't say that I do.. Uh, thanks, that's real sweet 'a ya t' say.

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Magic anon! For the limited time of 7 asks, all participants have to tell the truth (can't avoid the question either) of any asker, in person and through the mail!

Curry: Now, that ain't so bad! I ain't a very secretive person, haha.

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So... Who's looks are "all they have" ?

Lawrence: Huh?? Whuh-- uh, who.... said that t'you? What do y'mean?

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gay gay homosexual gay

Flowers: Ah.... What's that s'pose to mean??

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yall sexy

Kitty: Awe, thanks, real sweet of you.