No title available
❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
Three Goblin Art
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
ojovivo
NASA
official daine visual archive
Not today Justin
pixel skylines
Fai_Ryy
will byers stan first human second
Mike Driver
Cosimo Galluzzi
art blog(derogatory)
Xuebing Du
we're not kids anymore.
Aqua Utopia｜海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
h
almost home
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
seen from Morocco
seen from France
seen from Morocco
seen from Morocco
seen from Morocco
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Denmark
seen from United States
seen from Brazil
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
@apexfantasies
ᯓ★ nina
masterlist!
this blog contains 18+ content, mdni!
they/them 21 queer | writing for: LN4, MV3, CL16
requests are open! <3
☆ ★ ☆
navigation
#apexfantasies : all writing #apexfantasies masterlist : all masterlists (general & series) #apexfantasies anon! : anons #nina yaps : random posts #ninarecs : sharing fics i love
★ ☆ ★
i love reading those dark stalker fics… i’m thinking about writing a little oneshot…!
my winners
max verstappen x female!reader x lando norris
summary: you go to congratulate your boys on their respective victories after the championship deciding race in abu dhabi.
includes: smut (mdni!), pwp, semi-public sex, very unrealistic scenario but who cares, cocky!lando and angry!max, degradation, cuckholding if you squint, piv, creampie, oral (m receiving), rivalry-centered
wc: ~ 1.6k
a/n: from this universe! (my other norstappen works) [one] [two]
after watching a tense 58 laps in abu dhabi, the championship finally came to a close for the three contenders. you bit your nails as you watched on, nervous for the result, but happy to see max on the top step and lando being celebrated for becoming a champion for the first time, like he deserved.
the interviews dragged on and on, lando’s emotions ran high, and max was… disappointed. max settled into the couch in the cooldown room and grabbed his phone, as nobody else had arrived yet, just to see a text from you.
you: congratulations, you did so well max
he didn’t respond immediately, his train of thought being cut off by lando walking in all bright-eyed and still a little bit teary. in perfect timing, the lights cut out, every single screen and camera shut off.
“guess there’s going to be a bit of a delay,” max muttered. lando looked at him with expectant eyes, barely visible in the dim room. not too long after, someone walked into the room and explained that there would, in fact, be a delay–for about twenty or thirty minutes.
“max…” lando gripped his shoulder and started to ask, “do you think that we could-”
“you are greedy, mate,” the dutchman interjected.
a long beat.
“you just won everything, and you’re thinking about her?”
lando shifted in his chair, leaning back and posturing confidence. “mate, we have time, and i don’t want to wait.”
max huffed at lando, but went to respond to you anyway.
max: come to the cooldown room. max: they won’t be able to fix the power for at least twenty minutes. you: on my way
you lit up at the notifications on your screen, shocked at the implication of what you’d just read, but your body reacted instantly, feet moving quickly to take you to a place you barely knew how to get to.
another vibration came through.
max: it’s just me and lando here.
message received, you thought to yourself.
max was already waiting for you by the door, pulling you into a messy, hungry kiss as soon as you walked in. lando’s arms were stretched out on the back of the couch, waiting patiently. once max let you go, you sat beside lando and placed a passionate kiss on his lips, yours still wet from the other man. he tried to grip your waist and pull you onto him, but you stood back up.
“before anything… i need you both to know that i’m proud of you,” you met both of their eyes in the dark, “both of you, you’re my winners.”
you felt max hover behind you just before you heard him growl in your ear. “and you’re our prize,” he said as he wrapped his arms around your waist and kissed your neck. “you’ll let us use you how we want, right schatje?”
lando stood up now too, and he moved to crowd your space. you were stuck in between the two very hungry men, the former champion gripping your waist tightly–like he didn’t want to ever let go–while the new one tilted your chin to look into his aching eyes.
“say you’re gonna let us use you, come on,” the brit whispered into your lips.
max huffed to himself, perturbed by his arrogance, “lando, mate.”
they shot each other a look, and you really didn’t like being caught in the crossfire of their rivalry, you just wanted them, as they are.
“p-please use me, please, i need you both,” you begged, bringing their attention back to where it belonged.
max whispered in your ear, “such a good slut,” as his hands traveled down your stomach and hooked under the waistband of your skirt. he brushed his fingers over the wet spot growing on your panties and laughed in your ear.
lando’s lips crashed onto yours possessively, trying to claim your mouth with his tongue exploring ravenously. his lips tasted salty, the accumulation of sweat and tears and relief all at once. his hands cupped your face tightly, not wanting to let you go.
max rubbed little circles over your clit through the fabric, eliciting little whimpers and moans from your mouth into lando’s that made him hot with need. you palmed the brit’s erection through his race suit, almost begging him to take it off. both men got the message, unzipping enough to release themselves.
the man behind you ripped your panties to the side and teased your entrance, “fuck, you’re dripping,” max taunted before thrusting two fingers into your cunt without warning. you moaned loudly as he curled them inside of you, hitting your g-spot perfectly.
“shut up,” lando murmured, “get on your knees.”
you looked back at max for permission who nodded and positioned himself behind you, stroking his cock with your slick and his leaking precum.
you took lando’s thick cock into your mouth while the dutchman lined himself up with your entrance. lando barely gave you a moment to breathe or even think before he grabbed a fistful of your hair and started moving you on him. you gagged around him, but still took his deep thrusts into the back of your throat.
at the same time, max thrusted his dick deep into you, also not willing to spare a second and wait. he buried himself all the way inside of you and jerked his hips forward at a cruel pace. he grunted as he fucked into you, letting all of his anger melt away as your cunt clenched around him.
you moaned at the overwhelming sensation of both men using you recklessly, not caring about your pleasure. the vibrations rumbled over lando’s cock, and he tried to hold back whines. saliva started to pool up around your lips and drip all over your chin, “fuck, you look so pretty like that,” lando commented, throwing his head back slightly.
max gripped onto your hips tightly still, pulling your body back onto his to continue his exhaustingly quick thrusts. at some point, you grabbed onto lando’s legs for stability, and one hand trailed up to stroke his soaked cock. he grunted as your hand moved up and down his shaft, and he finally slowed down to let you take your time. you hollowed your cheeks around him and flicked your tongue around his sensitive tip, sending shockwaves through his body and making him moan.
“god, your mouth is incredible,” the brit muttered.
the room was filled with filthy sounds, max’s balls slapping your ass, spit slobbering down lando’s cock and your chin, and the grunts and moans of all three of you.
max didn’t let up–the more you made lando feel good, the more aggressive max became. his fingers dug into your skin so deeply, you thought it might leave bruises. he focused his thrusts into long and deep strokes, making your back arch away from his length, but he kept pulling you back.
“don’t fucking move,” he ordered, “be a good whore and take it.” you tried to stay still like he wanted, but it was too much, and you shifted away from him again. he laid a punishing slap on your ass. the burning sensation made your mouth pull away from lando this time, hand still connected to his throbbing cock.
max reached around to circle your clit with the hand that smacked you. your cunt clenched around him desperately and he groaned, “come for me, baby.” lando forced you to look at him, lazily stroking himself while he let you focus on your own pleasure. he wanted to watch your eyes as you came.
all of their attention on you was enough to bring you to your climax. lando watched as you shut your eyes and let out silent, open-mouthed moans. max chased his own orgasm at the same time, and fell apart as your tight pussy clamped down on him. his come leaked out of you, but you weren’t done yet.
max collapsed onto you for a brief moment, holding you close. he could feel lando’s needy eyes watching and wanted to stay inside, just to spite him. lando was already there, trying to help you stand up and walk you to the couch.
he straddled you over his lap and teased the come leaking out of your slit. “you ready?” lando asked, barely a formality as he lined his cock up and pulled you onto him. you moaned at the feeling of him, somehow stretching you out more. he did all of the work, fucking himself quickly and deeply into you, hands grasping your ass for leverage.
it wasn’t long before you and lando were both close. his pace stuttered, so you reached to his shoulders as you bounced on him, feeling blissed out at the feeling. he didn’t pull out this time, spilling his seed inside of you. your cunt was aching and full of come in a way you’d never experienced before.
you stayed like that for a minute, and lando whispered something about your ‘perfect pussy’ that you didn’t quite catch.
max was watching the whole time as he recomposed himself, pulling up his underwear and zipping up his suit again. he rolled his eyes when lando came inside of you. he shoved lando slightly once you were just out of earsight and scoffed at him, “you and your fucking ego.”
“reckon she likes it though,” he retorted with an easy smirk.
a/n: written at the request of my dearest best friend who i hope never reads this. apologies for any spelling/grammar errors. <3
oh my god i am so insanely proud of lando. that’s my WDC!!!
perfect student | part six: how the unspoken festers
professor!max verstappen x afab student!reader
previous part / series masterlist
summary: you’re forced to take a foreign language class, and your professor, max verstappen, is not kind to any of his students, but especially not to you…
includes: no smut (series is 18+, mdni!), kissing, angst, introspection, yearning, unnamed roommate and friend characters, alcohol use & one mention of puking (short & not graphic, doesn’t happen to the reader), age gap
wc: ~ 4.3k
that sticky note followed you around like a looming nightmare, the kind that doesn’t leave your thoughts for days as much as you try to think about literally anything else. it’s benign, almost. something so simple and inoffensive on its face, but the remembering is what drags you down. if you wanted to reach out for it again, to reopen a healing wound, you could.
you could’ve just thrown it away or tore it up or hid it somewhere you don’t look. like you should have.
instead, it stayed pressed onto your nightstand, edges curling up as each day passed with another attempt to ignore it. the highlighter yellow nagged at your eyes that first morning. it beckoned you to go look at it, begging to be a useful reminder—working exactly as intended.
days after the exam was over, you woke up to a brutal reminder of its occurrence, not that you really needed one for the conversation you had with your professor, but rather the fact that, oh yeah, that was… for class. your grade was an improvement, but not by much. you imagined what it would be like if you could tease him right now, to laugh at him while you interrogate if it was because of your ‘relationship.’ a small moment, but one you craved nonetheless. putting your phone back down, that bright yellow flashed your eyes once again, and all you could muster up was a weak groan while whywhywhy echoed through your mind.
this time, you picked it up. a moment passed while you started at the note, written neatly but somehow so messy at the same time. numbers scrawled out in a straight line yet in shapes that made you question the numbers. was it a 5 or a 2? 6 or 0? you wondered how a man so calm and collected could barely manage to write professionally, but maybe it was intentional.
you were never sure with max.
the vague recollection of digits spun in your brain as you went about your day, desperate for the information to be acted on. you popped bread in the toaster, it started with an eight… water ran over you in the shower, was that the area code? the cold wind bit at your ears as you walked to class, it ended with a one, i think.
that inescapable slew of random numbers was subconsciously forced into a made up pattern to lock itself into your memory. it was no longer something you were willing to avoid, not when it ate at you—not when you felt like it was an itch under your skin that needed to be scratched out. yet you still weren’t sure how to address it. you half-payed attention in class, thoughts bouncing in between staring at his strong, exposed neck, and that cold, serious look in his eyes and imagining the scenarios of when you’d call, what you might have to say.
it had to be a persona, you wondered rather assertively, finally attempting to soothe your worries about him with the reminder that he had been caring, or compassionate if you were being more generous.
max didn’t push you anymore, he didn’t feel the need to. his gaze would travel over to you in class, sometimes hovering for a half-a-second too long. he could see you—even when you’d try to avert your eyes—and how the wheels of desire and resolution spun in your mind. a smug sense of satisfaction settled in his chest as he patiently observed you, knowing his time would come any second now.
his eyes traced your body as you packed up your bag at the end of class and rushed off, not in any rush to be discreet. you felt his gaze on you and considered glaring at him or even flashing a smirk, any kind of recognition that might make him reconsider his devastating look at you. instead, your knees weakened, and you hurried off as fast as possible.
anxiety washed over you later on, as you stared aimlessly in your room. not really thinking or doing anything in particular. you were just frozen in space, in an almost catatonic state—certain that if someone spoke to you, it would go unheard. instinctively, you reached for your phone and the obnoxious sticky note.
an annoying buzz emanated from your phone with each tentative click of the number, and something like anticipation ran through you. it was all typed in, and you checked over the numbers to make sure they were correct. but as your thumb hovered over the call button, you decided you couldn’t do it. or maybe that you wouldn’t, just to prove you don’t give in that easily.
why does it feel like we’re playing a game? you wondered and shut off your phone. a stupid fucking, probably one-sided game, where i’m the crazy one.
it wasn’t a good time to be alone with your thoughts, so your weary feet carried you over to your beloved roommate’s door. you knocked gently three times. “what is it?” she asked in a level tone. “do you wanna hang out and make cookies?” you asked sweetly. she chuckled softly through the door and reply, “sure babe, i’ll be out there in a few minutes.”
sure enough she was, and suddenly the world felt brighter, the cold kitchen felt a few degrees warmer. your cheeks flushed from laughter as she told dumb jokes, and it helped you remember what it’s like to be with a friend who really cares. that thought made a wave of quiet sadness crash over you, but you didn’t want it to own you. it was redirected, “i know i’ve been kind of… distant-”
your roommate huffed out a laugh, “yeah. i’ve been worried,” she said, stern but sincere.
you powered through with a nod and continued your line of thought, “yes- i know, i’m sorry. but i was thinking we could do something this weekend?”
her eyes beamed with joy, “what’s the vibe, do you want to like watch a movie and chill out, maybe play some games and have wine- oh or we could do something in the city?” she rambled off.
you giggled right back at her. “am i being too much? fuck- sorry i’ve just been missing you,” your roommate continued.
“not at all. let’s go out to the city. dinner and bar hopping maybe?” you suggest.
she nods excitedly, not even bothering to hold back, “friday at 7?”
“perfect,” and so the plan was agreed on, and for the first time in what felt like years, there was something to look forward to.
the rest of the week came and went as you buried yourself in schoolwork, preparing for the end of a long semester. on thursday night, you found yourself bored of studying, and that little voice came back to nag you. your thoughts drifted to those numbers that you’d already half-memorized. do it. you know you want to, you told yourself.
in the same routine as the other night, you dialed the number, but this time you called it—without even a second of space to pause. the line rang one… two… three excruciating times.
you groaned and hung up the call.
of course he wouldn’t pick up, you thought with disdain for yourself, should’ve texted him first or something.
in actuality, max was just drying off from a shower, missing the buzz that came from his phone by about three seconds. he checked his notifications and studied the number that had just called, to see if he could recognize it. he thought it was someone he’d given it to and hoped it was you.
but, he decided with a shrug of his shoulders, it was just spam.
on friday, you woke up with anticipation coursing through your veins, kind of like the one that you can only get for the holidays or a birthday. and it would feel nice if you didn’t have to wait all day for the plans you had with your roommate.
you started to get ready around 5:30, too impatient to wait any longer. there was no rush to figure out what to wear, but it didn’t stop you from being stressed. articles of clothing were strewn all over the floor, as you struggled to decide how casual or scandalous you should dress. you landed on a tight skirt that hugged your curves and rode up a little (a lot) high, and a top that flowed over your chest and shoulders perfectly. as you touched yourself up in the mirror, fixing your hair and adding a bit of makeup that felt right, you sighed at yourself. your thoughts trailed over to him again, and you felt the slightest bit pathetic.
annoyance and frustration underlined your desperation. you wished that you could stop thinking about him, that you could set your professor out of your mind completely.
ever since that first meeting—before anything really consequential happened—it was as if a switch had been flipped, like max reached inside of your soul where nobody else could reach, and he lit you up like it was nothing. fire setting a path that you were compelled to follow, even though it burned.
you force a smile at yourself in the mirror and check the time. it was finally late enough for you to grab your roommate to pregame. lukewarm wine was lazily poured into glasses, your cheeks flushing as you sipped and laughed together.
her phone buzzes suddenly, going off a few times. she almost rolls her eyes at the noise and scoffs as she reads the messages.
“what’s wrong?” you questioned.
“ugh- a friend from class is asking what i’m doing tonight and if i want to hang out,” she replies, not trying to hide the annoyance in her voice.
“well, is she a good friend?”
your roommate nods her head vacantly, “yeah she’s fun, we’ve gone out before… but i don’t know, i kind of just wanted it to be us?”
without really thinking, you suggest, “if you like her, then let her come out with us. i’m sure i’ll like her too!”
she smiled back, “are you sure?”
“yeah! why not, should i be worried?” you replied. she shook her head, and the conversation ended with the promise of meeting someone new tonight.
before you knew it, you were several drinks deep at the second or third bar of the night and painfully irritated by every single man that even breathed in your direction. your roommate was barely hanging on, stumbling quite a bit and slurring her words. her friend was pretty fun to be around—if not entertaining, at least. she spoke a little bit too loud and acted like you already knew each other for years, but it wasn’t so bad.
so, you were trying to enjoy yourself. dinner was pleasant, and you did enjoy spending time with the two girls by your side. the music and alcohol kept your exhausted feet moving throughout the night, as you tried to dance off your frustration. at some point, your roommate dragged you and her friend away from the crowd of people to order more drinks.
she stammered over her words to the bartender, while you and your new friend for the night shared a glance and decided not to get anything other than waters. mostly to force the drunker woman to hydrate and sober up.
you found a table with just enough space for the three of you to stand around. your roommate stared at her new drink and made a face of disgust just from looking at it. “are you okay?” you asked, holding her hand.
the other girl jumped in, inching the plastic cup of water towards your roommate, “here love, have some water okay?”
she nodded, “i’ll have the water… but i’m- f-fine,” she stuttered before taking a sip that turned into a gulp of nearly half of the cup.
“i think actually-” she looked around hazily, searching for something. you stared at her intently, seeing the exact moment she started to gag.
“trashcan is behind you-!” you shouted and pointed at the bin. she heaved into it and recollected herself in basically a minute.
“wanna finish that water?” you asked, holding it and a napkin up to her lips.
she hummed in agreement and choked the rest down, “i think i want to go home, but- but you guys don’t have to leave.”
you frowned at your roommate’s words and stroked her hair gently. “no- i’ll come back with you,” you reply.
“no seriously stay- i’d f-feel terrible if you don’t- i’ll jus’ get my boyfriend to pick me up,” she laughed at herself, “all they’re good for right?”
you chuckled at her as she pulled out her phone and called for a ride, feeling a little bit sad that she was leaving, and because you didn’t have a good excuse or the courage to leave too.
you and the other girl quietly sipped on your friend’s abandoned drink. “we should go somewhere else, this bar is lame, and i’m not drunk enough” she said, filling the air between you two.
“absolutely. lead the way,” you gestured at the exit.
the rest of the night didn’t last long after that. you somewhat awkwardly tried to get to know this girl—a stranger practically—while men at the bar bothered you both. for her, it was… a little bit less of a bother. one second you were taking another shot together, and the next, a man was chatting her up in a less noisy part of the bar.
you knew what was going to happen the moment she walked back over, the man’s eyes looming over you two as she broke the news. you rolled your eyes as she muttered something about how she felt so bad but she wanted to go anyways.
“if you lea- leave me, i’m gonna do something,” deep breath, “i’ll do something stupid,” you said, stammering over your drunken words.
the girl stared at you with a vague sense of understanding, clearly a little bit more gone than you, “babe, i- i’ll pay for your uber or something,” she said in a soothing voice.
“no i don’t want to be alone,” you whined. “my roommate already left- you can’t go too!”
“we should’ve gone with her- shit,” she muttered, barely loud enough for you to hear.
“you know what, do whatever you want. i’m going to stay out,” you rolled your eyes and stormed off. she didn’t even bother to come after you, easily accepting the out you gave her without any semblance of remorse.
fucking miserable person, great friend she is, you thought to yourself as you pouted in a corner. realizing you needed to be more alert and aware of your surroundings, you perked up almost instantly.
your shoulders relax as you scan the bar, trying to keep a demeanor that was confident but reserved. the moment you started to walk was when it all crumbled, legs barely operating and feeling stupid within seconds. a strange humiliation washed over you at feeling rejected by two friends basically within 30 minutes. logic isn’t really your strong suit right now, alcohol letting your negative emotions run rampant and catastrophically. your roommate actually needed to go, the other one… well, you were rightfully pissed.
not sure what to do, you approached the bar, ready to order another drink. the bartender looked at you with that tempting smile some of them wear. you were almost flustered, heart skipping a beat as you ordered some sweet mixed gin and tonic drink. the first sip felt like a slap in the face, the overpowering artificial strawberry flavor feeling nauseating and not quite drowning out the bitterness of the gin. a gag begged to crawl out of your throat at the taste, and you decided that you would not be drinking for the rest of the night.
well if i’m not drinking anymore, and i need a ride… no, i’m not going to do that. it would be so ridiculous. you huffed at your thoughts and reached for your phone despite your better judgement. what’s the worst that could happen? you took note of the time, it was about twenty minutes before 2 a.m. he’s probably asleep anyways.
you opened your call logs, only looking over a few different conversations before finding that same number you called yesterday, the one without a contact.
laying in bed, max scrolled his phone aimlessly, not expecting anything special for his night. until—
you clicked the call button, screen lighting up instantly with a call and a ringing you could only feel under your fingertips.
max sat in his bed and flicked out of the notification to finish whatever he was watching. but only for a moment before he thought about the number calling, how it looked familiar. same as yesterday? maybe it’s… no, it can’t be. don’t be stupid.
willing to let any of his hopes breathe, max scrambled to pick up the call before it dropped or you hung up (again).
“hello?” his voice rumbled over the phone.
all he could hear was a pulsing beat and muffled voices mixing with the music.
“hi! can you hear me?” you said, practically shouting.
max replied, “huh? it’s impossible to hear. who is this?” your voice sounded familiar to him, but the club was booming too much for him to be sure.
“shit, give me a second,” you requested as you hurried towards the closest exit, drink abandoned on the same sticky tabletop you ordered from.
max waited in anticipation to hear your voice, or whoever it was, clearly.
walking out into the cold fall air was a shock to your system, sobering you up quickly.
“hey,” you said, “can you hear me now?”
max breathed a deep sigh of relief on the other end. “i had a feeling it was you yesterday,” he said with a confident smugness over the phone. you scoffed back, half-joking, “and you didn’t call back?”
“i didn’t want to push you,” he replies, with a vague smile tinting his voice. “so… why are you calling?”
a sigh escapes your lips, “i don’t know- i’ve been thinking about you, and i want to see you…” you trail off.
max hums on the other end, “it sounds like you’re out, clubbing?”
“mhm, this place is absolutely boring,” you whine, “and my friends ditched me.”
max runs a hand through his hair, “are you okay? do you want me to come get you?” perfect, you think to yourself, exactly what i wanted. “i dunno, feel like i’ve already bothered you enough, are you sure? i mean, it’s late,” you say, somewhere between feigned innocence and real sincerity.
“tell me where you are, and i’ll get you,” he said, an order not a request. softly, trying to hide the excitement, you whispered giddily, “thank you, max.”
the call ended with you sending max your location and nothing but a useless, hazy smile on your face.
you sat on the sidewalk, patiently waiting for max to arrive. the call was too short for him to give you any details, not about the car he was driving or when he’d get there.
it only took about 15 minutes of you watching cars pass by for your phone to ring with a call from him. “i’m about to be outside,” he said, clear and to the point.
“and what car should i be looking for?” you asked as you stood up and straightened out your skirt.
being hit by the car would’ve been less shocking than the one you saw slowing down in front of you, hazards flashing and all. “tell me that’s not-,” your words were cut off as you saw his face through the passenger side window.
he locked eyes with you and hung up the phone, “don’t act so surprised.”
you were in awe of the car before you, a clean, silver Porsche 911 GT3 RS. even the hood was beautiful, with carbon fiber accents for better aerodynamics.
you must’ve been gawking for too long because max called back out to you, “come on get in.” you reached for the already ajar door and sat down very nervously. your mind raced with improper questions, ones that the liquor loosened you up enough to say.
“how did you get this on a professor’s salary?” you asked quietly, holding onto a shred of shame.
he laughed at the bluntness of the question, not taking his eyes off the road ahead, “teaching isn’t the only thing i do.”
“what then? are you a criminal, sex worker, parents died and left you with a huge inheritance? what is it?” you rambled off, hoping to elicit some kind of telling reaction.
he glanced at you for a second, “no, nothing like that. i uh- just invest my money well.”
you rolled your eyes at him, “right. whatever that means.”
“i can tell you more about it later, i don’t want to bore you,” he explained.
a comfortable silence fell between you, while you stared out at the lights of the city, bright and blinding. the ride was smooth, as max switched through lanes expertly and patiently, not driving too fast. at a red light, he took advantage of the moment to really look at you. his breath caught in his throat as he took in what you were wearing, fabric tight and flowing exactly where it needed to be, highlighting all of your beauty. he saw the look on your face, how you stared at the streets with eyes screaming something soft and sad, and he noticed how your lips rested in a barely noticeable frown.
he reached his hand across the center console, grazing the bare skin just above your knee. he didn’t dare go too high; it was merely a reminder of his presence, an attempt to bring you back. “are you alright?” he asked.
you met his gaze right before the light changed back to green. “uh- yeah i just feel so… stupid,” you responded.
max questioned, “why would you ever feel that way?”
you groaned, “so many things went wrong tonight. i can’t fucking believe my friends- well only one was really a friend, and i really wanted to leave with her, but she didn’t want me to. god and then i called you… i really shouldn’t have, i’m such an idiot,” the words spilled out of you easily in his presence. “now i’m rambling, and you don’t care and- god i’m sorry-”
he squeezed your knee with the most gentle touch. “you don’t need to be sorry, i’m listening.”
you’re torn between taking his words as they are and waiting for the other shoe to drop, for his gimmick to be over. almost like he could hear your thoughts, “i’m serious. you can say anything you want to me. you’ve had a bad night, but i’m here to take care of you.”
you raised your eyebrows at him, finally sizing him up like he did to you just moments ago. he was basically in pajamas, wearing a white t-shirt that stuck tightly around his chest and grey sweatpants reminding you of your past encounters. his hair fell in messy strands around his forehead, making it incredibly obvious that he ran out of bed immediately after you called him. to you, he couldn’t have looked any better.
he could see the place your thoughts were spiraling to, “not like that, you’re drunk.”
“max! i didn’t say anything!” you retorted, embarrassed.
“i felt your eyes. i could tell.”
you giggled at yourself, “but you look so good…”
“not today, schat.” your heart jumped at the petname, even though you didn’t know the translation. “i’m going to make sure you get home safe, and that’s it.”
you pouted at him, “not gonna tuck me in?”
“i would carry you inside if you asked me to,” he smirked at you while handing you his phone, “put your address in. please.”
the ride after that felt short, as you recounted the events of the night to max, who hung onto every word, asking clarifying questions as he needed. you felt all of the tension and anger start to melt away, just enough for you to savor the moment without any guilt.
as his car pulled over to the side of your apartment complex, you looked at him with longing eyes, and his were just as starry as he looked into yours. “max, will you walk me inside?”
he nodded at you sheepishly and found a place to park, smoothly and speedily walking over to open your door. he held your hand as you stepped out and didn’t let go until you needed to unlock the door. he pulled you in for a polite, but still warm and needy, hug–his arms wrapped around your waist while yours draped over his neck. “thank you for taking me home,” you whispered into his ear. he pulled back, and his eyes scanned your face, obviously landing on your lips.
you gripped his neck, bringing him in close to kiss you. he was tender at first, but not anymore when he realized you weren’t going to let go. his touch became greedier, devouring your lips as he pushed your back against the door. your tongue danced against his while you pulled him in closer by his waist, chasing closeness and friction. he bit your lip and pulled away, “please don’t go, max,” you whined.
“we can’t, not when you’ve been drinking,” he repeated.
“but-” you started to beg.
he cupped your cheek in his hand, stroking it slightly. “no, not today…” max saw the desperation in your eyes, “do you have any plans tomorrow?” you shook your head no.
“let me take you out to dinner, somewhere nice,” he said
you clarified, “like a date?”
“yes, a date,” he said, placing a delicate kiss on your lips, “goodnight, schat.”
“goodnight, max,” you said, finally opening the door to your apartment. a wide smile grew across your face the second your back was turned, and a sense of satisfaction roamed throughout your body–and max’s too.
a/n: i am pretty sure this is the single longest thing i've ever written... so that's insane. hope you all liked it and are ready for the next one (i know i am. i already have an outline going!!!)
taglist: @formulakracing @dfinchr @baechugff @meyla123x @fangirlmusicbiashoe @dollstappen @yumm267449 @sunny44 @pharmasennapuff @hott1es @l4ndonorriz @kolaconleche @mv1lanaf1 @br1adna @valeriasannchez @lovescatssss @mel164 @urmomsgirlfriend1 @anifffff @alwaysclassyeagle
Hi! Was reading your professor!Max au and noticed you mentioned being burned out on writing smut, and I think it's because the plot is migrating towards the feelings and the problematic, so writing more smut would make the whole thing saturated.
I would suggest you keep going on that, working on feelings and writing more about their dynamics, and only then, in the end, you put a more romantic smut to close everything(if you plan on a happy ending)..
This is just a suggestion, no hate at all, and in the end, you have the final word. Great story💕
hi anon! just wanted to say thank you so much for sending this ask, it really meant a lot to me & was a huge part in rekindling inspiration and love for this series. i did end up taking your advice, and your feedback was immensely helpful. i really hope you enjoy the new part. <3
another part of perfect student will be coming sooner than i expected. (like i just wrote 700 words in a half hour in flow state soon.) i am feeling so good about this series after re-reading the last couple of parts and a really wonderful and uplifting message from an anon, which i’ll share before i release part 6.
also wanted to say i am so appreciative of all the support ive been getting lately. & i just hit a follower milestone (thank u sm for 300 🩷), please share any ideas of to do to celebrate!!! would love it if you guys sent in requests and i’ll take ones that speak to me. but i’m open to other ideas of what to do.
i don’t think i like this whole f1 thing anymore guys…
take your time / i'll be here
softdom!lando x fem!reader
summary: you have vaginismus and are nervous about your first time having sex with your boyfriend; vaginismus is a condition where a person’s vagina tightens up when there is an attempt to insert something inside of it.
includes: smut (mdni!), pwp, established relationship, fluff, dry humping, fingering, oral (f receiving), piv, praise, so many petnames, aftercare
wc: ~ 2.8k
a/n: this is the fluffiest smut i have ever written, and i think it's also my favorite?
lando had his arms wrapped around you as you laid on the couch, half-watching some movie you’d both seen before. his presence was always comforting, the way he let you drape your body over his and hold you close like you’re the most precious person in the world.
you turned your face into his neck, bored of the movie that was playing and admittedly, you were feeling a little bit sleepy. he ran his firm hand through your hair while the other gripped your waist, “you tired, love?”
nodding into him, you whispered meekly, “not too tired.” you pulled away to look at him, biting your lower lip. he shot you an inquisitive look and brushed a strand of hair from your cheek. “no? not too tired for what?” his pupils widened as he glanced down at your smooth, velvety lips.
he shifted his weight under you, bringing your legs around to straddle him while you rolled your eyes. “uh-uh tell me, darling, use your words,” lando said softly. your lips met his with a gentle, longing, too short kiss. his voice was earnest when he broke away from you, “what do you want, angel?”
your eyes searched his, silently begging him to find the words for everything you wanted to ask for. lando was patient, almost frustratingly so–the little voice in your head that always told you it’s all for show, it was back again. he never pushed you to do more than you were able to, and he always let you take it slow and tell him what you could handle. all of the times you had been intimate together it was just the foreplay, something you felt embarrassed of, guilty even.
sometimes you’d apologize for not being ready to go all the way, and you worried that it wasn’t enough for him, but he was always right there to reassure you. he always checked on how you felt afterwards, and you would confide in him about your anxiety. he would say something like, “you’re perfect, it doesn’t matter to me love,” or, “take as much time as you need, i’m not going anywhere.” he’d remind you that he loved you for who you are, that it wasn’t about sex.
regardless of how much he hoped the sex would be possible for you, you weren’t sure. having sex with other partners has been possible but still painful, even after trying dilators and exercises and everything possible that didn’t break your budget. no matter how many times lando plunged his fingers inside of you, it still felt like a shock. the stretch always burned, even when it was just one. the slow process of letting your body accept him like you willed it to was painstaking, and you ached for him, to have all of him. the whimpers you let out every time you squeezed around his fingers made lando feel something between heartbreak and arousal; he hated to see you in pain but loved every single one of your pretty noises.
there was also the concern about his size in particular. even in your mouth he felt too big, too thick for you to take all of the way. not that it ever mattered to him.
all lando ever wanted was to take care of you, to make you feel wanted and loved, like he always showed you. and all you wanted was to be enough, to feel like you were enough for him.
you leaned into him again, this time to whisper in his ear–almost like it was shameful, “i think… i want to try it.”
his knee shifted under you, gently moving you along his thigh and pulling you in for a deeper kiss than before. “are you sure, darling?” he asked, and you shook your head, “very sure.”
“we’ll take it slow, whatever you need-” lando spoke, but you cut him off with another needy kiss. “i’m serious, love. if you want to stop, you’ll tell me yeah?”
a hum of agreement vibrated out of you. “mhmm, now shut up and kiss me,” you murmured, and lando’s lips crashed onto yours instantly. it was all heat and need, his tongue brushing yours in the way that always makes your stomach churn. the space between you was basically already nonexistent, but it wasn’t close enough. every movement to get closer to lando was another drag against his thigh under your throbbing cunt. the way you groan in his mouth as he kisses you would almost be pathetic if he wasn’t doing the same.
your hips push you higher into his lap for you to grind against his already hard cock and whimper against his lips. the kiss only broke for you to moan desperately at the feeling of him so close to where you need it. “you like grinding on me, baby?” lando said, almost taunting you, yet his words were still met with a nod. he kissed your cheek as you kept chasing the friction, and his lips moved down to the spot under your earlobe and down your neck, sucking and biting gently; you could only whine at his touch.
he let out a breathy laugh against your skin at the noise and itched to bring you closer. one hand was gripped the top of your ass, keeping you in motion, and the other snuck under your shirt to massage your breasts. he teased your perked nipple with his thumb, leaving you to moan softly. “that’s it let me hear you, such a good girl,” he muttered before taking off your shirt. lando took your exposed nipples into his mouth, giving each the attention they needed with a delicate swirl of his tongue and sucking on them enough to make you squirm away from him.
“oh darling, you must be a mess,” he said making you flustered. “let make take care of you, my love,” he hummed, picking you up gracefully with his strong arms and carrying you to his bedroom. he planted little kisses on your cheeks and stroked your hair as he walked. lando felt like your anchor, holding you down and making sure you didn’t drift away.
in the room, he laid you down on the edge of the bed. he slipped his fingers under the waistband of your pajamas and panties, “can i take these off?”
“please,” you said, urging him to hurry up. his hands worked painfully slowly to slide everything off, leaving you completely vulnerable when he was done. he sunk to his knees and slung your legs around his neck, spreading you open wide. he brought his fingers to your dripping folds, “all of this for me?” he asked as he played with your clit. “such a beautiful girl, love your pretty pussy.”
lando kissed the inside of your thighs, making you wait for what you so badly needed, as he rubbed his thumb over your clit. but your impatience grew, “lan,” you pleaded.
“what do you want, baby? use your words.”
“need you, your mouth- please,” you cried out, whinier than you meant to.
“that’s all you had to say… such a good girl,” he whispered into your cunt, the rumble of his voice lighting up your entire body. he teased you at first, only offering small flicks of his tongue on your clit. you tried to grind against his mouth, chasing his warmth and your need. his hands gripped your hips to hold you down, only for a moment before extending one for you to hold.
you accepted his hand, and he finally gave you what you wanted. he licked your clit like it would save him, alternating between long strokes and sucking. you felt pure bliss while his mouth was around you, his spit combining with the wet juices leaking out of your pussy.
lando lifted his head for a moment to ask, “you close, love?”
with a nod you pulled him back into your cunt, your free hand gripping his curls as you grind onto his tongue. he moans at the taste leaking out of you, and it sends shivers down your spine. you clench around nothing, tightening your legs around lando’s neck as you orgasm, moaning his name breathlessly.
he gets up to kiss you, and you feel yourself all over his lips and chin. you bite on his lower lip and pull away. “i think you need to come again,” he says, mouth ghosting over yours and his hand reaching back down. “i can’t,” you reply. “yes you can. you deserve it, sweet girl,” and you groan at lando’s words.
his thumb grazes over your clit again, and he pushes in one finger at the same time. you tense around him out of nervousness, and a slight burn at the stretch, despite being used to the feeling. he watches your face closely as it happens, to observe how you tilt your head up and bite your lip to stifle a moan. “you’re so perfect, doing so well for me,” he says, curling his fingers at your sweet spot, coaxing beautiful moans from your mouth.
“i love those pretty sounds,” lando said and kissed your neck. “are you ready for another?” he asked, teasing your entrance with a second finger.
“oh god- please lando,” you whimpered.
he made room for the second one, pushing into your entrance gently. he took his time, letting you adjust to the size of his large fingers as you tightened around him. “that okay, darling?”
“more than okay- god lando-” your eyes widening as he kept pushing deep inside. he took it as permission to keep going. he moved faster, thrusting and curling inside of you the way you liked, he even spread his fingers out, trying to stretch you out and get used to the feeling. you tightened around him, signaling another climax quickly approaching.
“let go for me,” he urged you, and it was enough for you to come again. you strained around his fingers, soaking them with your arousal. “that’s it, you’re always so pretty like this,” he sighed as you moaned out, feeling your release throughout your whole body. “god, i’ll never get tired of that sound,” he muttered more for himself than for you, like it would kill him to not say it aloud.
lando removed his fingers from your core, and you felt desperate for him to be inside of you again, wincing at the loss. he brought his fingers to his mouth and sucked your juices off of them, groaning at the taste.
your heart dropped to your stomach in that moment, and you cursed under your breath. your hands extended to his tented pants, palming at his erection. “lan, please- fuck i need you,” you whined.
“are you sure, baby?” lando’s hands caressing your waist as he asked.
“i’m sure, but…” you hesitate, “but i’m nervous, lan,” you whispered helplessly under him. “it’s okay, angel, i’m gonna take care of you. we can stop if you need to, just tell me if it’s too much, yeah?” he replied, cupping your cheek and planting a gentle kiss on your lips. “i know you can handle this, i’ve got you.”
“hurry,” you egged him on, and your urgency drove him to undress as quickly as possible. you admired his muscular arms and his flushed, leaking cock as he stripped in front of you.
he rubbed the head of his cock through your slick folds and against your clit, easing you into the sensation. you took a deep breath trying to relieve your nerves, and he held your face close to his, trying to ground you. after a few moments, he felt you relax underneath him, so he asked, “you ready?”
“please, i need you,” you begged, and your hopeless tone made his cock twitch. he lined himself up with your slit, slowly pushing in just a little. you flinch at the feeling and pull away slightly. “you okay, love?” he asked, stilling his movement immediately.
“yeah just… hurts a little bit,” you say. “do you want to stop?” he asks, and you shake your head no. “is it okay if i move? i won’t go any further, i promise.”
“mhmm, just let me pull you in closer when i’m ready,” you explain. “take whatever you need, darling,” lando replied.
as he promised, lando made small, barely-there thrusts with the head of his cock. his lips were on yours, tenderly kissing you like he’s worried you’ll break. you whimper at the stretch but instantly start adjusting to the pressure. the time he took to make you orgasm was a necessity–the slick that overflowed from your cunt made it a little easier to let him slip in. one hand tangles in his curls and the other scratches at his back as soft moans roll from your mouth into his.
you finally adjust to his size and guide him in further, pulling at his waist. he doesn’t move more than you let him, stopping him before he even gets halfway in. it’s tight and painful but not as much as you expected it to be. “you’re doing so well for me, baby,” he says as he thrusts into you patiently, not moving too fast or too far. a quiet moan falls out of him as your pussy clenches around his length. your moans overlap his while you calm down and allow yourself to feel the pleasure of lando moving inside of you.
your hips buck up, ready to take more, and grip him to bring him in as deeply as he can fit. the pressure fills you with intense electricity, a slight burn that’s overwhelmed by pleasure. both of you moan again at the sensation, filthy noises flooding the room. “you’re perfect, taking me so well, darling,” he groaned in your ear as he fucked into you with deep, slow strokes, “my perfect girl, you’re all mine.”
“i’m yours, lan,” you whisper back, “all yours.”
that longing feeling between you and lando evaporated as he buried himself inside of you, hitting the back of your aching cunt perfectly, just like that. you melted underneath him, feeling weak and shaky yet so good and safe. it was the first time in a long time that the sex felt like something more, that you were properly taken care of and loved by someone else.
he plunged himself deeply into you, watching your expressions shift as you moaned and bit your lip to make sure you weren’t in pain and to admire your beauty.
“this… shit how did i get so lucky- this pussy is mine,” lando groaned. you squeezed around him, a response to his praise and his pace. “fuck lando please,” you cried. his thrusts only faltered slightly when you tightened around his cock. “you’re close?” he asked, already knowing the answer.
“yes, don’t stop-!” you exclaimed.
“good girl, want to watch you fall apart on me,” he said, reaching his hand down to rub your clit. instantly you saw stars as you quivered around him, your legs completely useless. your own orgasm brought his on too. he pulled out in time, spilling out all over your chest with a grunt.
lando collapsed beside you and sighed a deep noise that came straight from his soul, “you’re fucking perfect, you know that?” he played with strands of your hair, staring at your beautifully fucked out face. “was that okay?” he asked.
“yeah, it was… incredible,” you say, meeting his gaze, “i love you, lan.”
“i love you too, you’re incredible. you’re a fucking angel.” you blushed and turned away giggling. he tilted your face back with a finger to meet his eyes, “no- i’m serious, i could look at you all day.”
you rolled your eyes at him and started to stand up to clean off, but he insisted you keep lying down. “uh-uh stay here. i’ll take care of you,” he said and gave you a be right back kiss.
a few moments later, lando returned with a towel and glass of water. the glass was set on the nightstand before he kneeled next to you with the towel, cleaning up all of his come. “are you okay?” he asked, eyes still focused on cleaning himself off of you.
you nodded, “yeah, it burns a little, and… i’m kind of sore.”
“i’m sorry, angel,” he frowned at you.
you pulled him down to be on top of you again, “i’ll be okay in the morning, plus it was worth it,” you smirked.
he flipped onto his back, and you slotted yourself into his side, “you’re worth it, you’re everything.”
he held you close, hands running through your hair and all over your body as he kissed you all over, your cheeks, nose, lips, forehead, neck, anywhere he could reach. lando kept whispering sweet nothings in your ear until sleep got the best of you both.
a/n: do we like the small text? hope you guys loved reading this as much as i loved writing it <3
perfect student | part five: the oral exam
professor!max verstappen x afab student!reader
previous part / series masterlist / next part
summary: you’re forced to take a foreign language class, and your professor, max verstappen, is not kind to any of his students, but especially not to you…
includes: angst, lando is here again, age gap
wc: ~2k
dim morning light flowed in through the thin curtains, a modest warmth heating up the room from the cool fall night. max stirred slightly at the soft glow and turned to his other side, avoiding the harsh reality of life and work and his confusing–stupidly confusing–feelings.
his cats roamed the room, nipping at his toes underneath the comforter, a desperate plea for him to wake up. the cold side of the pillow was thrown over max’s face for a brief moment before he turned back to check the alarm clock. it was already a few minutes after 7, but for max it felt like he had just closed his eyes.
a cold feeling of dread washed over max as he sat up and started thinking all of his plans for the day. have to workout, grade papers and do the exam– “fuck me…” he whispered to himself, not ready to deal with seeing you again. it hadn’t even been a week since you made it clear how little you wanted to do with him anymore.
max huffed as he stood up and lazily went to feed his herd of cats, slopping cans of food in the dishes as if it was the hardest task in the world, slowly meandering over to his bathroom and changing clothes. it was all very theatrical.
all he could do was think of you, how exhausted you sounded when you told him to leave you alone. he opened the fridge to find something to eat, but he flashed back to the small tears that crept into your eyes while you spoke. he paced around the counter, feet pulling him towards the barstool he sunk down into, back curved and head in his hands. the way you looked at him with a weak smile that thinly veiled your lies replaying in his mind.
whatever it was, it had ended abruptly and left max with an insatiable pit in his stomach.
your morning mirrored his, not feeling too bothered to rush into the day ahead of you. discomfort and nerves hovered over you in preparation for the exam. you pretended to ignore it for as long as possible, staying in bed doomscrolling, trying to keep busy with other classwork and some much needed basic self-care. none of it really took your mind off of him, not enough for it to be useful at least.
in a moment of incredible timing, while you were pretending to look over your–admittedly shitty–notes from dutch class again, your phone buzzed with a text from lando.
lando: when’s your exam scheduled for? you: first slot. you? lando: it’s like halfway through lando: can you help me study? you: not sure how much help i’ll be, but sure.
the pair of you met in the loud and crowded student center on campus and ended up sitting right outside of it at some tables. the sun blinded your eyes as you tried to pay attention to what lando was saying to you, distracted by your anxiety instead.
“you with me?” lando asks. you nod, “yeah, so do you just want to practice what you’ve already prepared to say?” he nods in agreement, “i’ll point out anything horrible that i hear in your pronunciation,” you add, with a hint of a smile.
at some point while sitting with lando you decided that you’d go in early to talk to max. you were lost in thought about what you might say, strange waves of guilt washing over you as you remember how cruel you were. the contradictions ran rampant through your mind, not wanting to apologize, but not wanting to leave things in a hostile place either.
breeze rushed through your hair, whistling in your ears to bring you back to reality. you looked back over at lando who was now staring at his notebook with his brows furrowed. he met your soft gaze and you gave him a polite smile that didn’t quite reach your eyes. you checked the time on your phone and exaggerated your reaction. “ugh! sorry i just saw the time, i have to go over there now,” you said with enough warmth in your voice to smooth over the lie.
“oh alright! thought we’d have more time, but thank you,” lando replied meekly.
“yeah… i just really hate being late,” you offered, “but i’m sure you’ll do alright.”
he nodded at you as you headed in the direction of the old building where professor verstappen’s office is. your body went cold with anticipation as you approached the door and goosebumps trickled over your arms as you entered, becoming more prominent as you took the elevator to his floor and neared the doorway.
the door was closed with a note from the professor telling students to wait outside for him to get you when he is ready. assuming this was more of a warning for others than the first slot and predicting that he would make an exception to not be upset with you anyways, your fist met the door with three tentative knocks.
max huffed audibly and said, “give me a moment, please. i will be with you soon.”
you nodded, feeling a little bit dejected by his bothered tone, and retreated back against the other wall of the claustrophobic hallway. for a few short moments that felt like hours, you waited and tried to force your body back to a normal state, hoping that the goosebumps would subside.
when max opened the door a look of shock flashed over his face before being briefly replaced by the slightest broken smile. “you’re early, but come in,” he said, avoiding looking at your gentle eyes.
“did you forget who you scheduled first?” you asked him, almost mocking him for his surprise.
he didn’t respond instantly, instead he looked you over, observing you like it was the last time he’d get to see you up close. he noticed the tightness in your shoulders, how you crossed your legs so tightly it felt like it might still mean something, and he saw how you looked at him, your body language all afraid, attentive, and cautious.
“of course not,” max defended himself, opening his mouth again but hesitant to say more. he pursed his lips and decided to leave it alone, “we can go ahead and get started now.”
you bounced your eyes around the room, averting your eyes from his to look at his messy stacks of books and papers and personal belongings scattered about. “i was actually hoping we could talk first.” you finally gathered the courage to speak, but your professor only looked at you expectantly, “uh… about what i said last week?”
he simply stared at you, his strong gaze stubbornly telling you to continue.
you played with the sleeves of your sweater as you spoke, “i just don’t really like, um, how i came off… if that makes sense.”
max hums to himself, his face losing confidence ever so slightly, “but you meant what you said.”
you shrug your shoulders and almost roll your eyes. “yeah,” it comes out just above a whisper with a crack in the middle. “yeah, i do,” you claim unconvincingly.
he nods at you in agreement despite not believing you, or at least not wanting to. the white noise of the room feels like dread, the uncomfortable pit in your stomach growing in the silence.
max inches forward to fill the quiet just as you do.
“that’s alright–” he says, and your voice overlaps his, “well, maybe not all of it.”
he lifts his head to meet your awkward glances, light blue eyes searching yours for answers.
“i- i shouldn’t- i don’t know, i’m sorry,” you stutter out.
max looks at you like he’s been wounded, “you don’t need to be. you haven’t done anything wrong.”
you roll your eyes, “haven’t i? haven’t we?”
“it doesn’t have to be,” his soft words linger in the air, your turn to leave the room silent. “i’ve been,” he scoffs, “i’ve been trying to tell you that i do care.”
“but why? it’s not right,” you retort. “you shouldn’t care about me how you think you do.”
his hand meets his furrowed brow, “but i do.”
“i can’t believe you, i won’t,” you mutter. it doesn’t have to be wrong, give me a fucking break. is he stupid? you think to yourself, fidgeting with your hair tie beneath your sleeves.
“is it because you think i’ve done this before?” his words make your head snap back up. “you know how you get frustrated for how i uh- in your words ‘pretend to know you?’” you nod at him slightly. “it’s a bit hypocritical, no?”
“i guess so,” you mumble, “but it’s different when you do it.”
max doesn’t waver, “none of this matters.” you open your mouth to respond, but he doesn’t let you, “we’re arguing over something that doesn’t need to be a problem. it’s not really about what you say it is, that’s a lazy excuse.”
you tilt your head slightly, a tell.
max continues “you don’t trust me, and i understand that. this- it’s like you said. it’s not right, but if this is the last time we ever talk like this- i need you to know that i see something in you, and i really do care. it’s been killing me how much i care, when i see how exhausted you are, it hurts me. i just… want you to be okay.”
tears begging to be released sting your eyes. you take a deep breath, “i think it’s time for the exam.”
max checks the clock, and seeing that you two had eaten through a good portion of the official time slot, max doesn’t dare push back, “of course. let’s get through it fast, not much time left.”
he asks you a few questions, and every response feels like a chore, like everything you’ve studied is just out of reach in your mind. you don’t even want to think about what the score will be, you just want to be done– with your professor, with this class, the whole semester.
“alright, that was actually not bad. you’re getting a bit better,” he says, slightly backhanded yet still genuine.
“thanks,” you stand up and ask, “am i free to go?”
“yes, and i want to give you something- if that’s okay,” he replies.
you raise your eyebrows at him, “which is what?”
he was already halfway through scribbling something on a sticky note before you asked, presenting it to you before you could even finish your sentence. “it’s my number. you don’t have to take it, but if you want to talk about anything… it’s there for you.”
you glare down at max and hesitate for a long pause before snatching the neon paper out of his hands almost aggressively. the note is shoved in your pocket as you stare into max’s soul before walking out of the door without another word.
the note was stuck on the corner of your dresser, somewhere between being a reminder of him and a plea to reach out. it bothered you when you shined a flashlight in your room to safely guide your steps to the bathroom, the neon green reflecting in your eyes. you envisioned yourself tearing up the note into a hundred pieces so that you’d never have the option. but you wanted to type in the number, to see if anything could happen, always torn between what’s best for you and what feels good.
the thought nagged at you as you tossed and turned trying to fall back asleep, imagining what he would say, how he could be, fantasizing about all of the wrong possibilities. in spite of the dissenting voice in your mind, you fell asleep thinking about his voice, how he might whisper to you sleepily as he holds you close to his chest, how you wished it could be right now.
for a moment you wanted to believe in everything he seemed to promise.
a/n: sorry this one took so long to come around. i've been very busy and sick. i'm happy to report that i am making a comeback. i'll be dropping another part of this soon, there will only be like two or three left maximum (although i could be convinced...). thank you all for reading my silly little fanfiction & let me know if you'd like to be removed from the taglist.
taglist: @formulakracing @dfinchr @baechugff @meyla123x @fangirlmusicbiashoe @dollstappen @yumm267449 @sunny44 @pharmasennapuff @hott1es @l4ndonorriz @kolaconleche @mv1lanaf1 @br1adna @valeriasannchez @lovescatssss
i’m sorry i’m a big fat liar. will post something hopefully by vegas 🩷 been missing writing every single day, but school & life have been kicking my ass. i ended up promptly getting sick right after posting my last stupid update, hopefully nothing terrible happens again.
tiny little update for anyone who is interested !!!
hi guys school got really busy for me, i’m so sorry i haven’t posted in a couple weeks. i really really want to wrap up my series in the coming weeks so i pinky promise i will post another chapter of perfect student by the end of this week (and maybe even another oneshot if i have the time!!!)
there’s a fic i’ve been cooking up in my head that’s gonna be very long and sad and i’m dying for the free time to actually write something down. you guys don’t understand how much i need to write thousands of words of hurt-comfort with lando ive been thinking about it for literally days :( and i want to finish that max fic i promised ages ago and write stripper!lando … my heart aches to write again
are you still reading? why? bye <33
another norstappen podium… do we know what this means
Ride me, cowboy
lando norris x reader
summary: lando’s cowboy obsession with girlfriend goes full Texas mode at COTA and the internet can’t handle it
warning: SMUT
It starts, like most of Lando’s obsessions with you and your thighs. More specifically, your thighs straddling him. Bent knees bracketing his hips, hair a mess, his hands gripping your ass so tight it should leave bruises. He always says the same thing, breathless and reverent every time you're above him.
“Fuck, cowboy’s the best thing to ever happen to me.”
At this point, it’s not just sex really It’s spiritual. Lando treats you riding him like a religious experience, like the high holy sacrament of his worship of you. He talks about it constantly, to you and to his therapist, probably. If he hasn’t said something unhinged like reverse cowgirl is my Roman Empire yet, you’re shocked.
To be fair, you’re not exactly complaining. The man puts his back into it or more accurately, put your back into it and his reward is panting underneath you, watching you bounce with his mouth open and a dazed look in his eyes. Sometimes he begs, sometimes he just whimpers, he just fucking loves it.
But you never expected it to leak outside the bedroom. At least, not by your mouth.
The moment of betrayal comes before your birthday, during what was supposed to be a wholesome dinner with the girls Lily M, Carmen, Kika and Flavy. Just tacos, margaritas and good natured gossip. You were tipsy and a little too enthusiastic talking about your gift plans for Lando’s next race. He always gets you something crazy on your birthday: custom shoes, spa trips, the absolute chaos of a surprise weekend in Mykonos last year. You wanted to match his energy this time.
“I was thinking about getting him a new helmet design” you say, sipping your five spicy marg. “Something cowboy themed.”
“Cowboy?” Lily blinks. “That’s new.”
And then, without thinking, without even registering the speed at which your own words betray you, you say it:
“Yeah, ‘cause he’s obsessed with cowboys and reverse cowboy, like he fucking me in them, It’s his thing.”
Silence.
You freeze, Kika’s straw falls out of her mouth. Carmen actually chokes on a chip.
“Wait—what?”
“Oh my God” Flavy shrieks. “I love that for you but also HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY SAY THAT?!”
“I—I didn’t mean to! It just slipped out!”
“You said it like you were ordering dessert!”
You bury your face in your hands, groaning so hard your soul tries to leave your body. “Please don’t tell your boyfriends.”
“Absolutely not” Lily promises before laughing so hard she nearly falls off her chair. “But I am going to remember this for the rest of my life.”
It becomes an inside joke immediately, every group chat message afterward has a cowboy emoji hidden somewhere. Carmen sends a reverse cowgirl gif or memes theme related every other day and you start dreading what they’re planning for your birthday gift, because honestly you were right to be scared.
It’s the morning of the FP1 in Austin Grand Prix and Lando is already grinning like an idiot before you’ve even gotten out of bed.
“Happy birthday, baby” he says, still half asleep but somehow already handsy. “Should I give you your present now or later?”
“I’m not opening anything until I’ve had caffeine.”
“Fine” he says, fake pouting. “Then can I open you instead?”
You flick his forehead. “Gross.”
“C'mon birthday sex is the best, i'm just enthusiastic to eat you out”
He’s right, but still.
Your phone buzzes on the nightstand just as you’re brushing your teeth. The girls are staying at a different hotel, but they’d promised to meet you at the paddock later.
When you find your girls, Lily quickly hands you a neatly wrapped box and you immediately know it’s trouble. There’s glitter tape and there’s also a note attached that says “For our cowgirl queen”
Inside the box you find a plain white cropped tee in sparkling pink rhinestone lettering:
SAVE A HORSE RIDE A COWBOY
You nearly choke on your laughter.
“I cannot wear this for COTA”
“You have to” Kika says, cackling. “It’s your birthday and your man’s a cowboy addict in Texas, this is your villain origin story”
“C’mon” Carmen says, smiling mischievously. “He’ll love it”
You squint at her. “You already told him, didn’t you?”
“We might have mentioned something…”
You press the shirt to your face and scream again. “You’re all demons.”
But you put it on the next day for the qualy.
Because yes, it’s wildly inappropriate. Yes, it’s ridiculous. Yes, it’s going to break the internet. But it fits like a dream and makes your boobs look amazing and when you walk out of the bathroom, Lando’s jaw drops so hard you hear the thud.
“What the fuck” he says, blinking at your chest. “That’s the hottest thing I’ve ever seen in my life.”
“You like it?”
“LIKE IT?” He stalks toward you like a man possessed. “I’m framing this shirt after today, I’m fucking you in this shirt and I’m not even kidding.”
You try not to preen, but you fail.
And then, as if the situation wasn’t chaotic enough, Lando pulls a cowboy hat out of his suitcase.
“Matching accessories” he says, smug.
“You’re actually going to wear that?”
“Absolutely, I’m a man of taste and consistency.”
You snort. “You’re nuts.”
“Only for my baby.”
To absolutely no one’s surprise, the paddock entrance is pure carnage.
You’d hoped maybe (maybe) the shirt wouldn’t be readable from a distance, that the cameras would miss it or that someone would crop it. Honestly that some miracle would happen.
But then Lando in full McLaren kit and that fucking hat, grabs your waist and kisses your cheek all smiley, you know that every fan and media press camera takes photos of the moment.
The clip goes viral in less than nine minutes. And by the time you make it to the hospitality suite, your phone has exploded: Twitter, Instagram, TikTok. Even your mom sends you a message asking for the shirt.
And even worse Lando’s doing media wearing the hat like it’s part of his uniform today.
“Had to match my girl today” he tells Sky Sports, grin so smug it’s practically criminal. “She’s the reason I’m wearing this, you know, she’s got the real cowboy energy.”
The cowboy energy.
You bury your head in your hands. This man is going to be the death of you.
By the time qualifying wraps and Lando got pole position, you’re trending globally.
Not Lando, you.
Specifically: your tits in that shirt and Lando’s cowboy hat, and the fact that the caption of the viral video reads, “NO WAY SHE WORE THIS IN PUBLIC 😭”
The comments about it are out of control:
norris.reader: “I KNEW he was a cowboy in bed.” girly.gossip: “He’s literally obsessed with her and it shows.” boxboxbox: “I fear this is the hottest couple to ever exist.” sweet-lando: “That’s her man, she’s just letting us see him.” frando443: “This has reverse cowgirl energy and I respect it.”
Lando reads the comments out loud while you’re sitting on the hotel bed later that night, one hand behind his head, shirtless, grinning like a madman.
“She’s just letting us see him” he says, laughing. “They get it, I am your man.”
You’re curled up in the corner, face buried in a pillow. “I’m never showing my face again.”
“Oh, you’ll be showing me everything in about five minutes actually.”
You peek out at him.
Lando is all heat and hands when he gets on the bed, hovering over you with that insatiable look he always wears when he’s ready to ruin you. You could read it in your sleep: the curve of his lips, the weight of his stare, obsession wrapped in soft curls and sinful intentions.
“Ride me” he says, voice low and thick with lust. “God, you wore this on purpose” he breathes, lips swollen already. “Fucking mint”
“Birthday weekend girl privilege” you murmur, smug.
His hands slide under the shirt, gripping your tits with zero hesitation, thumbs circling until you're gasping. He doesn’t even take the shirt off, doesn’t really want to. He wants you in it, wants to see the words stretched across your chest when you’re moaning for him.
He backs you up toward the bed, eyes practically black with need. “You know what I want.”
“Oh, I know love.”
You crawl into his lap, straddling him in one smooth move that makes him groan with his head tipped back, hands gripping your ass like it’s a lifeline.
“Fuck yeah, just like that.”
You grind down, slow and teasing and he twitches beneath you, already hard and leaking through his boxers. There’s a hunger in his eyes that borders on feral.
“You’re sick” you whisper. “You get off on this.”
He nods, breath ragged. “I'm so obsessed with you, it’s pathetic.”
You smirk. “Then beg.”
He actually fucking whines.
“Please, please, baby ride me. Want you on top, bouncing on my cock, tits all sensitive bouncing in that fucking shirt, please I need it. I need you.”
You shift your hips, teasing him and watch his jaw lock like he’s in pain. His hands are shaking as he shoves his briefs down, cock slapping up against his stomach red, wet and hard.
“I should edge you” you purr. “Make you sit there and take it like a good little slut.”
“Fuck—please.”
You don’t wait, you sink down in one brutal stroke, taking him all the way and he screams.
His hands fly to your hips, but he doesn’t move. He just stares up at you like he’s about to come from the first bounce.
“Jesus Christ” he pants. “You’re gonna kill me.”
“Hope so” you say sweetly and then you ride him properly.
You give him everything: slow grinds, hard bounces, deep strokes that hit exactly right. You lean back just enough that the shirt pulls tight across your chest and Lando fucking loses it.
“Shit baby, you’re so hot”
“You like the shirt?”
He nods so fast it’s stupid. “Want you to wear it forever, want to fuck you in it every day, want to come on it.”
You moan loud and filthy, and he bucks up hard enough to jolt your spine.
The bed is creaking, your thighs are burning the sweat is dripping down your chest, soaking into the fabric and still, he’s begging.
“Please—baby, please, I need to see your ass bounce”
You smirk and swing a leg over, turning smoothly until your back is to him. He grabs your ass immediately, dragging you back down onto him with a groan that sounds painful.
“Fuck yes, fuck yes.”
You ride him harder now, hands braced on his thighs, ass slapping against his hips with every bounce. He’s babbling beneath you.
“So deep, so tight—fucking made for me, this pussy’s mine, yours and mine”
You’re close, he knows it. He can feel it.
“Come for me” he grits. “Come on my cock, cowgirl, fucking squirt on it.”
You do.
Your whole body shudders, pussy clenching so hard he yells, loud and raw and wrecked. Your orgasm rips through you like lightning, soaking him, legs trembling.
He comes seconds later, jerking up into you, hands bruising on your waist as he fills you, hot and endless. His breath punches out of him like he’s just run a marathon.
And then he collapses.
You both lie there sweaty, breathless and totally fucked out.
And you are still in the shirt.
“You’re so lucky I love you” you mumble.
He kisses your spine. “You’re lucky I’m not asking for round two.”
You laugh. “You are, you’re just waiting for me to stop shaking.”
He grins into your skin. “Shhh let me have my moment.”
On race day the crazy sex haze has barely worn off when the chaos online doubles.
Lando reposts a fan’s pic of you wearing the shirt and adds:
“IYKYK😉🤠” (if you know, you know)
You want to kill him and die.
“Lando!”
“What?” he shrugs, all fake innocence. “Just showing off my girl, she’s proud, I’m proud. This is a proud moment for the Norris household.”
“There is no Norris household!”
“There will be” he says, smirking. “Once I get a ring and a saddle.”
“WHAT?!”
He kisses you. “You heard me.”
And just like that, you realize he’s not just obsessed with the positions.
He’s obsessed with you.
•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR 1K FOLLOWERS YOU ARE INSANE LOVE YOU ALL AMORES 🤍
English is not my first language and I don't want it to be. Any mistakes are made out of pure hatred and disrespect for this language. The English have taken enough from this world, I will not let them have my tongue as well.
Thank you.
phenomenal work oh my days
trip to texas
max verstappen x fem!reader x lando norris
summary: the double podium finish at cota leaves the boys very excited to see you.
includes: smut! (mdni), max situationship, pwp, light degrading, praise, oral (m/f receiving), assplay/dp, unprotected piv, creampie
wc: ~ 1.6k
a/n: the sequel (og here) that absolutely nobody asked for but it was a norstappen 1-2 so i HAD to for myself.
despite your non-relationship with max, he invited you to come along with him to austin, much to your surprise. you watched the intense race for lando and charles in the redbull garage, anxious for who would take home second place. but you weren’t so shocked when max came out on top, like usual.
after all of the team celebrations and the podium, you found yourself out drinking with max and lando. the lights in the club flashed as you three all threw back celebratory shots and danced together. your whole body was buzzing with second hand adrenaline that hadn’t yet worn off for the two drivers.
lando stood close to you, trying to make contact as you grinded against max. he cupped your cheek and leaned in to whisper, “wanna get out of here?”
you looked at max with a knowing look, “should we?”
he rolled his eyes, feigning irritation and nodded.
you sat in the backseat between the two men trying to contain the warm excitement growing in your core. lando was running his hand along your thigh, dangerously close to where you needed it to be while you kissed and teased max to your left.
the brit, desperate for your attention, grazed his fingers over your clit enough to make you squirm. “lando,” you sighed.
“what, needy already?” he smirked.
you palmed his hard cock through his pants, “i’m not the only one.”
after what felt like an eternity of a car ride, you finally made it back to the hotel. in the elevator, the two were practically suffocating you, pining for your attention. max ran his hands along your curves as lando kissed you aggressively, tongue intertwining with yours.
in the room, you sat on the bed waiting for them and overhearing their stupid argument. “c’mon mate, are you gonna let me this time?” lando asked the dutchman, probably about whether or not he could properly be in you.
you couldn’t really catch max’s response, but lando’s smug grin as he walked in told you all you needed to know. he sat beside you and whispered, “does max tell you enough how incredible you are?”
you gently shoved him and rolled your eyes, avoiding a real answer. max walked in shortly after, pants already tented and unbuckled. he laid down beside you and lando and kissed your neck, biting softly at the tender spot under your ear. you let out a half-hearted whimper to which max mocked, “aw, do you already want us that badly?”
max traced his fingers over your dress and reached underneath to tease your soaking pussy over your panties as you reached to take off his pants. “bet she’s a fucking mess,” lando said, massaging your breasts. max laughed affirmatively, “so pathetic. strip for us baby, give us a show.”
standing up from the bed, you followed what he said. you took off your dress deliberately, fumbling slightly with the zipper as you revealed yourself. you turned away from them as you removed your bra and panties, painstakingly slow. max lazily stroked himself, and lando’s pants felt tight around his thick erection.
“edge of the bed, now,” max ordered. you complied, fully naked and vulnerable and waiting. max stood in front of you, lowering himself to your needy cunt.
lando adjusted to sit next to you, planting passionate and aching kisses all over your neck and lips while max worked you open. he flicked his tongue through your wet folds, licking your clit before plunging his fingers inside of you, splitting open your slit.
you moaned against lando’s lips overwhelmed by the attention from both men. “you’re so beautiful like this,” lando said before claiming you with an aggressive kiss, all teeth and tongue as you tried to hold back desperate moans.
max groaned under you as he licked and sucked, the vibrations filling you with pleasure. he worked you open faster, motivated to feel you orgasm around his fingers.
lando urged you on as he massaged and pinched your perked nipples, “so perfect baby… look at me, i want to watch you fall apart.” his words and the sensation were enough to bring you to the edge. you whimpered helplessly as you tightened and squirmed away from max.
max lapped up your slick from the orgasm and kissed your cheek, “such a good girl, do you think you can take more tonight?”
“yes max, whatever you say,” you said, uncertain of why he’s being extra careful.
he leaned in closer, sliding his hand under your ass, “good cause we’re gonna use all of you tonight.” you hesitated to respond, but max filled the silence, “go on, let lando use your mouth baby.”
you straddled lando and slid off his pants to see his thick cock flushed and leaking. you realized you must’ve looked surprised as lando mocked you, “forget already?” you shook your head while lowering your mouth to his tip, taking it in slowly and teasing him with your tongue.
“ass up pretty girl,” max demanded from behind you. lando groaned at how painfully hard he was and desperate for you to give him more.
you moved along lando’s cock faster and deeper, chin dribbling with your spit and his precum. max spit into his hand and gathered up the slick from your core to your hole, gently thumbing at the entrance of your ass. a small wince left you, more out of shock than discomfort, prompting lando to moan at the feeling.
more filthy noises left lando as you bobbed your head on lando’s tip while you moved your hands along his shaft. max pushed one finger in your entrance, breaking your rhythm to gasp at the pressure in your hole. lando cupped your chin in his hands, “you alright darling?”
“mhm, just feels different,” you replied.
lando smiled at you, “it’s alright, take it slow.”
behind you, max looked disgruntled, “be a good slut, i know you can take it.”
you hesitantly returned to suck lando’s thick length as max stretched out your hole with one finger, patiently trying to ease you into it. you settled into it, finally regaining your pace with lando. “your mouth is heaven,” he said with glassy eyes.
max slid in another finger, slowly but surely reaching the back and opening you up for him. the dull pain subsided and was replaced by the pleasure of max filling you up.
lando jerked away from you abruptly, “need to slow down– want to make this last.” he sat up to meet your sloppy lips with a kiss, all tongue and teeth and desperation to be inside of you. “please,” he begged looking at both you and max. you looked back at max to see him nod in approval.
lando pulled you closer to him, lining your entrance up with his cock. you sank down on him slowly, both of you moaning as you buried him inside you.
max aligned himself with your mouth, prodding your lips open. you grinded deep on lando’s length as you took max in. lando grabbed your hips for stability as he rocked up into you. at the same time, max gripped your hair, forcing himself down your throat and making you gag around him.
when max was finally satisfied, he moved behind you, lining up his soaked cock with your hole and gently pushing his fingers in again. “are you ready, baby?” he asked. you nodded and slowed down to let him inside.
lando squeezed your hand as max inched into you. he looked in your eyes as you winced with pleasure and pain at the same time. “you’re okay,” said the brit with a smile as he watched you tear up.
max’s thick length finally filled you all the way up, and the squeeze of you made him twitch slightly. they felt the heads of each others’ cocks pressing in on each other through both of your holes. the sensation left all three of you moaning loudly, ruining the room with your filthy noises.
you leaned into lando for support as he tentatively thrusted in you again. when max felt you finally ease into the pressure, he shifted inside of you. max reached for your hips to push into you as lando wrapped his arms around your waist and kissed your cheek, keeping you grounded.
the men amped up their paces slowly, making a tear run down your cheek. lando wiped it with his thumb, “you’re even beautiful when you cry, so perfect.” he slid his hand to your sensitive clit and rubbed slowly.
“taking us so well, such a good girl,” max said, feeling his own release soon approaching.
lando chimed in, feeling close too, “gonna come again, sweet girl?” you nodded pathetically, “that’s it, let go baby, we’ll do the work.”
you reached your peak again and fell into lando’s chest, unable to keep yourself stable anymore. lando spasmed inside of you as your tight pussy clenched around him, his seed leaking out of your cunt. max spilled out inside of you shortly after, as you gripped around his cock.
max grabbed a towel from the bathroom and cleaned up the mess inside of you as you laid with lando, completely fucked out. he tucked strands of hair behind your cheek and held your shaking body. max joined in shortly after and rubbed lazy circles on your thigh.
“we should do this more often,” lando hummed.
“yeah right, next time’ll be when you’re P1,” max declared.
you laid there, silently hoping for lando to get another win.
about to drop another max/lando threesome fic in a couple hours. everybody say thank you COTA for a norstappen 1-2!!!
perfect student | part four: the new normal
professor!max verstappen x afab student!reader
previous part / series masterlist / next part
summary: you’re forced to take a foreign language class, and your professor, max verstappen, is not kind to any of his students, but especially not to you…
includes: angst, physical and mental health struggles, lando mention
wc: ~ 2k
the world fell quiet around you as you wandered aimlessly towards the exit of the building. shame lingered over you like grey overcast clouds, an overbearing presence weighing you down. recent memories flickered in your mind, his touch, your need, the mess–something that shouldn’t feel like a mistake.
you interrogated yourself on the long walk home, wondering whether or not he’s taking advantage of you, if this is just what he does with other students. you searched for ways to convince yourself that maybe it’s not that bad, meanwhile your thoughts raced with a sick sense of leverage, that you could ruin his career if you wanted, but that might ruin you too.
meanwhile, max held his face in his hands, overwhelmed by something he couldn’t quite name. his thoughts raced with regret? caution? he wasn’t sure. but he hated how you left, how he was sure you felt used by him. “fuck,” he grumbled to himself, standing over the sink. the water ran hot, almost scalding, over his hands.
deep down, max knew he was wrong, that he should’ve done things differently, or not done them at all. despite the obvious, he didn’t care. there was something softer that he wasn’t ready to acknowledge, something that sparked his misguided anger.
it won’t happen again, you tried to quell your thoughts. because maybe this time, you’d both stay honest, and this time, max believed in your silence.
at home, the shower water rushed over you, cold water incapable of providing you any clarity or washing away the ghost of max inside of you.
you pushed through the days and weeks in a slog. every thought you had of him was avoided and repressed, you ignored his helpless gaze in class, distracted yourself with more studying than ever, neglected your health. you tried not to think about max when you ached for him at night and were angry when you did. because of course you thought of him.
people noticed, lando saw you become more reserved and more distracted in dutch class. your roommate, margot worried about you too, “have you been eating enough?” she randomly cornered you in the kitchen.
you gave a slight nod, dismissive enough for her to get the hint. “i barely see you out of your room anymore… what happened?” she pried.
“i’m just… busier, i don’t know,” you lied.
she rolled her eyes, “yeah okay, when you decide you want someone to talk to, i’m here.”
but how could you possibly talk to anyone about this? confessing what you did, what you wanted, hearing people confirm that it’s wrong, when honestly, you don’t want it to be.
of course your professor noticed too, how you refused to look in his direction, how your eyes glazed over sometimes when he spoke, trying to put as much distance in between you two as possible. he knew how it looked, that this isn’t a line he should’ve crossed.
on the empty nights when he felt completely alone, he thought of you. he wanted to fix it, but he didn’t see any chances to. you had shut yourself off from him completely, no longer open to his unhelpful feedback on your weak assignments.
somewhere along the way, you fell out of your routine. hunger took over you, leaving you with sleepless nights and long days and anxious thoughts that you tried to drown out with white noise. it got to a point where you nodded off in classes and fell behind on work. tasks seemed to pile up that you ignored out of desperation for peace, from university, life, the ache that your professor left behind.
a couple weeks after your meeting in the bathroom with your professor and as your physical health slowly deteriorated, your exhaustion got the best of you at the worst possible time, during dutch class. you dragged yourself into the classroom, thick hoodie pulled slightly over your head, and tried to keep yourself awake as professor verstappen droned on about grammar and vocabulary you didn’t care to be present for.
sometime during the session, you let your eyes close entirely and succumbed to the fatigue. you didn’t realize you were asleep until you stirred and saw that most students had already packed up their bags and left the room. lando gently tapped you and asked, “you alright?”
you nodded and tried to think of a response in your haze, but lando had already left. as you frantically tried to pack up your laptop and empty notes, the room had emptied out completely–except for max, who was glancing over at you as he methodically gathered his materials.
his eyes locked on yours, at the only movement left in the room. heat flushed to your cheeks instantly, humiliated that you fell asleep and were now facing max in an isolated environment. you felt like you should say something and blurted out, “i-i’m really sorry.”
his face softened, looking at you with something like tenderness or pity that made your stomach churn. “are you okay?” max asked in earnest.
you started to nod, but he saw through the lie, “no, are you really?”
uncertainty took over you, wondering why he even seemed to care and whether you should just be honest. “i don’t… i don’t think we should talk about this,” you said quietly.
max shifted nervously, “i can’t care about my students?”
you rolled your eyes and held back a mean laugh, “when have you ever cared?”
“i’ve just… uh noticed that you’re different in class,” he deflects.
you sling your bag over your shoulder and scoff, “how could i not be?” max shrugs, not comfortable addressing the issue between you two, so you continue, “what we did… that shouldn’t have happened once let alone twice.”
his eyes meet the floor, avoiding your intense gaze, “you’re probably right.” probably? what other way is there to talk about it? you think. he moves away from the topic again, “still, you seem… worse, pretty bad actually.”
“you don’t know how to be nice, do you?” you say harshly.
he brushes over it, “i’m just worried.”
the words sit heavy in your chest, simple yet filled with genuine concern. you’re unsure why he cares, if it’s just a ploy to get you to trust him. “i don’t believe that,” you retort.
the professor shakes his head, “that’s fine, you don’t need to.” there’s a long pause, the conversation is at a dead end. “i might not care about everyone in class… but i do care about you.”
you roll your eyes, using disapproval and frustration to cover up how he’s getting to you. you step towards him, close enough to see how his vibrant eyes reflect in the blinding sunlight and the exasperated lines that started forming around them. anger got the best of you, “do you care about every student you fuck?”
max’s expression changed from patience to disgust, “is that what you really think of me? that i go around taking advantage of my students?”
you shrug, “there’s not a lot of convincing evidence in your favor.”
his hands meet his face, because you’re not wrong, but you’re not right either. he hesitates, unsure how to defend himself, “it’s not like that. i promise.”
you look at him in disbelief, “i’ll never trust you.”
“that’s… fine. i just wanted to check on you, you’re not the kind of student who falls asleep in class or barely pays attention. i can see you’re going through something,” max rambles.
his offering of kindness feels unnatural and wrong considering your pain was because of him. how can you make someone understand that they are the problem? pushing him away is the only logical option, no matter how much he’s trying to show you he cares. despite your desire, you don’t think it’s right.
“i’m perfectly fine, thanks. it’s just a busy semester,” you bluff, but he knows better.
max proceeded to press, “are your friends checking on you?”
“they don’t need to,” you declare with a forced smile, “i’m okay, really.”
“i can tell you’re lying,” max says.
you roll your eyes at him again, dramatically, “enough with this pretending to know me bullshit! you don’t know anything about me.”
“i know enough,” he pauses, “i know you’re struggling and that it’s probably my fault.” he tentatively takes a step closer to you, enough for him to hold you if you wanted. “and i’m sorry about what happened… but try to believe that i care,” the patience in his voice is almost grating.
“you can prove it by leaving me the fuck alone,” small tears form in your glassy, sleep-sunken eyes as your resentment boils over into rage.
“okay. if you change your mind…” he started, but you’d already turned your back on him and exited the room.
it was colder outside than it looked, the bright sun deceiving you. the air bit your skin as you walked out of the building feeling like a hollower, smaller version of yourself. conversations with max are exhausting, you haven’t ever been sure what he was going to say, if he really meant the hurtful things he said or even the gentler ones.
you don’t know who he is or who you turn into when you’re with him, but right now, this version is eating away at you.
you wished you could hate him, that was the problem. there was something undeniable beneath his cold demeanor; he sees through the facade, and he knows how to challenge you, and how to get a rise out of you.
the rest of the day went by slowly as you processed the conflicting feelings that max brought out of you. the dissonance in your mind was exhausting, bouncing from believing him and trying to suppress your thoughts. you hid away in your room, isolated from anyone who might try to care.
it was useless. you threw on a movie to feel something else, one that always makes you cry hoping it would let you feel a little more numb. as you were dramatically wrapped up under your blankets and sobbing over the same movie you’ve seen hundreds of times before, you realized that this wasn’t going to fix how you felt. your thoughts of max barely stopped, his voice still lingered in the background.
maybe i just need time, you thought to yourself. but deeper than that, you felt a sense of longing for him. the realistic part of you wanted it to be over, and it drove you insane that the other, louder, part of you needed more from him.
despite your teary eyes and racing thoughts, much needed sleep took over you. the next morning didn’t bring you any relief, the thoughts returned almost instantly like a bad dream you couldn’t shake off.
you thought about telling one of your friends or reaching out to max.
and you really thought about reaching out to max. you wondered if you should apologize or if you should make him apologize. you wanted to fix things, if they were even broken, or if you even deserved how much you had been beating yourself up over all of it.
does it even matter? does any of it matter?
you drafted emails over and over, you imagined talking to him after class and making things right for yourself, giving him a chance to be better.
ultimately, you decided against it. that it’s better to sit with these things instead of stir the pot and make them worse–
a notification distracted you.
Mail Max Verstappen Reminder for next week
you open up the email tentatively, fearing the worst.
Hello, This is a reminder that next week we have another oral exam, formatted like the previous one. It will go over everything we’ve learned since the last exam, and I attached everybody’s time slots. Max
oh great. another one, you think. hope he didn’t put me last again.
to your surprise, you were the very first scheduled speaking exam and grateful for it too. in a way, you hoped you’d be last, so you could pick his brain or rehash the other conversations you’ve had in private.
it’s for the best.
a/n: sorry this one's a little short, i really appreciate all of the positive feedback on this series so far <3 i plan to drop the next part faster than i have been for the rest. thank you guys for reading my silly little words, it means so much to me. happy race weekend!
taglist: @formulakracing @dfinchr @baechugff @meyla123x @fangirlmusicbiashoe @dollstappen @yumm267449 @sunny44 @pharmasennapuff @hott1es @l4ndonorriz @kolaconleche @mv1lanaf1
