This website is dying, and hopefully the discourse will die with it
Iāve been involved (in some way or another) with what has come to be known as theĀ āace discourseā for a couple of years now. iāve watched a debate on whether or not asexual people can personally reclaim the wordĀ āqueerā expand into a horrifying argument encompassing such topics asĀ āace exclusionists are as bad as TERFsā andĀ āasexual people deserve deathā.Ā
iām writing this now to try and convey the biggest lesson i learned from this shitshow: learn when to let it the fuck go. debating internet strangers on the minutiae of what sexuality headcanon you can have for the literal moon isnāt doing shit for you, or anybody else.Ā
you arenāt going to convince that equally-rabid blog with an anime icon that doves donāt look like that. you arenāt going to change a single goddamn thing about how asexual people exist or are treated. it doesnāt matter if you spend hours lying about your race/religion/HIV status, youāre never going to convince someone that youāre right by addingĀ āpee your pantsā to their posts.Ā
i was pretty into the discourse when this blog was more active, and i am 100% guilty of most of the above. the discourse did not make my activism better, it did not help anybody around me, and it sure as hell didnāt make me a better person. if anything, it made me a worse person.Ā
i was convinced that i was right and everybody who agreed with me was perfect and that nothing could change that. i was constantly on the hunt for minor slip-ups from people on the oppositeĀ āsideā as i was, while being super paranoid about making mistakes of my own.Ā
when i did make mistakes, i denied them until a deluge of dogpiling and anon hate forced me into a breakdown. of course, i saw this as more proof that theĀ āother sideā was irredeemably bad, ignoring the fact that, had one of them made the same mistake, i would have gleefully reblogged callout posts for them until they broke down as well.Ā
basically, what iām trying to say in this huge-ass wall of text is that the ace discourse is fucking horrible and is never going to benefit anybody ever. get out while you can, and for the love of someone please donāt try and drag it onto other sites when you jump ship from tumblr.Ā
cheers, and shoutout to my followers for sticking around,Ā
this post isnāt trying to boost one side over another. the point is that, while i obviously have my own opinion, which i think is valid and will debate the points of when such debate is relevant (like at an LGBTIA+ community meeting), the point iām trying to make here is that the discourse itself is terrible. go take your own opinions and express them in likewise relevant spaces where you might actually make a difference. rabidly rehashing tired old arguments on a dying website isnāt helping anybody.Ā