FABRICATI DIEM, PVNC

kai. pan ace. agender - they/them. not cishet. not a duck. asexual and aromantic people are inherently LGBTA+. fight me.

[actuallysafe-for-aro]

How is it not surprising that all the people trying to drum up anti-aro discourse lately are all TERFS?

Reminder for everyone, never listen to or argue with TERFS. They suck, they won't change their minds, they just want to make people mad and make themselves look like victims. And they want to recruit people into their circles. Don't let them take up any real estate in your brain. Just block them and move on.

[disasterdemi]

Obligatory reminder that the aphobe to TERF pipeline is real and used as a recruitment tactic

[Image Description: A version of the "always has been" astronaut meme, where one astronaut looks at the Earth and makes a startling realisation, captioned "wait, aphobia is TERF rhetoric?", while another astronaut, behind the first, holds a gun up to the first one, saying "always has been." End ID.]

[thatblondeperson]

Genuinely disheartening to see this flag now showing up on a prominent asexuality blog.

Gonna just go ahead and keep using the prettier, "problematic" flag, since I'm not an exclusionst fuckface.

[aphobe-nonsense]

one of my gf's is trans and she uses the term tr***y as part of her identity to reclaim it. clearly i don't use the term as I'm not a trans person but she actually does! she doesn't call other people that word because she knows that some are uncomfortable with it, she only uses it in reference to herself. so hell yeah people can identify however they want

exactly! i won’t ever use that word to describe myself because i have a negative history associated with it, but i’m sure as hell not going to tell someone else they can’t use it. that’s none of my damn business lol 

[aphobe-nonsense]

Hi in ur opinion what is the difference between bisexuality and pansexuality? Thanks

i’m not an expert in either of them, but i really think it’s a personal distinction. i know that a lot of bisexual people define their sexuality as attraction to two or more genders, and a lot of bisexual people define their sexuality as attraction to two genders. in a similar vein, definitions of pansexual can range from “doesn’t see gender as a factor in attractive” to “attraction to all genders”. again, it depends on the person. there’s a lot of overlap in definitions. 

i consider myself to be panromantic, which i define as being romantically attracted to all genders. it doesn’t bother me if someone assumes i’m bi and tbh i won’t correct them if they refer to be as such. i don’t really like using specific labels for myself, so if someone asks me about my sexuality i’m probably just going to say that i’m queer rather than panromantic asexual. 

[aphobe-nonsense]

"Stop using tranny to describe your identity, you can't do that!" Me: trannies harder out of spite

hell yeah anon if you feel comfortable reclaiming that slur you do it! dont let anybody tell you what you can and can’t identify as. take that word back from our cis oppressors, just be sure to remember that it’s not a very commonly reclaimed slur and that some people might not be comfortable with it. obviously it’s not up to you to change or filter your identity, just try to be compassionate and understanding to people who get squicked out by that word. 

[aphobe-nonsense]

aasdflkjasd i just realized that anon was probably trying to be an asshole by copying my ‘*queers harder out of spite*’ post except with a ‘’’’’’’worse’’’’’’ slur but like. who tf am i to tell you how to describe your identity??? its yours! i have nothing to do with it! reclaim slurs! make up words! who cares!

[aphobe-nonsense]

"Stop using tranny to describe your identity, you can't do that!" Me: trannies harder out of spite

hell yeah anon if you feel comfortable reclaiming that slur you do it! dont let anybody tell you what you can and can’t identify as. take that word back from our cis oppressors, just be sure to remember that it’s not a very commonly reclaimed slur and that some people might not be comfortable with it. obviously it’s not up to you to change or filter your identity, just try to be compassionate and understanding to people who get squicked out by that word. 

[aphobe-nonsense]

Poe Dameron is kind, smart, funny, and brave…dare I say he’s asexual?

[beckette]

he’s gay

[datcourse]

hes gay

[aphobiakills]

he’s gay

[echidnasnotdiscourse]

he’s gay

[glamouraleclightwood]

he’s gay

[foundthehomophobe]

he’s gay

[kirbycourse]

he’s gay

[phoenix-against-mogai]

he’s gay

[sonicnotdiscourse]

he’s gay

[ike-loves-men]

He is gay

[imthegodofblood]

he’s gay

[milkeyedmender]

he’s gay

[connivingturnip]

He’s gay

[a-far-stranger-truth]

He’s gay

[i-want-popcorn]

Let op have their fucking headcanon Jesus fucking Christ you people!

[i-want-popcorn]

@breezyvocalist yeah I agree, it’s not great. I get turned off by people doing that sometimes. Although I don’t think OP meant it like that. I think they ment that here’s all those things AND asexual.

[breezyvocalist]

yeah i totally get that. it’s just that the wording is a little strange.

[aphobe-nonsense]

OP here to say that the wording was like that on purpose. at the time the post was made ace exclusionists were making all sorts of nasty posts like ‘I’ve never seen Donald trump jerk off....dare I say he’s asexual?’ and ‘Ronald Reagan was disgusted by gay sex...dare I say he’s asexual’ and I made the post as a way to both provide a positive asexual headcanon and to subvert the implication that terrible people are asexual. Of course being brave and kind doesn’t automatically make someone ace, and any sexuality can have those traits. The intent of the post was not to insinuate otherwise, just to subvert a nasty exclusionist meme in a positive way

[aro-bot]

idk can we stop…treating a.ce disc.ourse like it’s some haha funney cringe compilation or whatever the fuck because it fucking destroyed the entire ace and aro communities. there is no solid aspec community on tumblr anymore (which was by far the biggest number of aspec ppl). exclusionists took our community and fucking smashed it to pieces and y'all treat it as this fucking stupid joke when they traumatized, gaslit, and abused an entire group of queer people back into the closet. fuck every single person who doesn’t take that seriously.

[showmesomeoneinnocent]

My personal experience is just that, but it’s really indicative that I have watched almost every single ace and aro person I know, irl and online, actively recloset themselves as a direct result of the consequences of The Disc Horse™

I watched irl queer groups disintegrate bc a few ppl who got into leadership positions used that to make the space hostile towards ace ppl (among others as well), saw friends go from being loud and proud aces n aros to actively avoiding any mention of it and letting ppl assume their sexuality. I myself, having been IDing as ace for 10 years at least, have in the past couple since this whole “"discourse”“ came into being, actively and intentionally stopped telling anyone at all that I’m ace. To put that in some kind of perspective, I am incredibly out as trans and will actively out myself pretty constantly except to total strangers I will never see again. I feel safer telling ppl I’m trans than ace. Especially in queer spaces. It’s fucked me up so much I didn’t even quite grasp how much but today my therapist asked me for the first time about like romantic relationships and I physically could not say I am aro and ace. Completely incapable, utterly frozen, and I just kinda let her believe what she will. Ironically the fact that I’ve gone from being willing and ready to tell ppl I’m ace as just another facet of myself to entirely unable and unsolicited to tell anyone, is probably a thing one might want to talk w one’s therapist about.

This has really fucked not just the community at large but fucked up individual ace ppl in so many ways. It’s not something “funny” or remotely harmless, it’s absolutely devastated us.

[fuckyeahasexual]

I reblogged this only a couple of days ago when this hand only 2k-ish notes.Now this has 10k notes FULL of ace , aro and aroace people talking about how much the “ace discourse” emotionally and mentally traumatized them and how so many of them stopped coming out as ace even among their most lgbtqa friendly peers and groups and its just SO  SO heartbreaking to read.

The ace discourse has been going on here for around 3 years now with no signs of stopping considering of how many excusionist and aphobic ace discourse keep popping up here and 99% of them are just really horrible people who keep bullying,harassing and mocking ace people as a form of “discourse”

Ace discourse hasnt made ANYONE feel safe in the lgbtqa community except people who are as much of a bully towards ace people as aphobes are and has just created a huge divide among the community bc many lgbtqa ACE people too feel like they cant trust other lgbtqa people non ace people since they  might turn out to be aphobic.

I hope anyone who has EVER contributed to this disgusting agenda against the existence of ace people reads this and realizes how they have only played the part of the bullies and bigots they hated in schools and societies, towards ace people and have contributed to the unsafeness and self hatred ace people feel for being ace.

No matter how many “hot takes” people write with as many leftist buzzwords and masterpost aphobes make ,ace people arent EVER going to stop existing.Its their LIVES and not some internet identity they make up so all this harassment of ace people is only EVER going to make ace people hide themselves not erase themselves.

[aphobe-nonsense]

This website is dying, and hopefully the discourse will die with it

I’ve been involved (in some way or another) with what has come to be known as the ‘ace discourse’ for a couple of years now. i’ve watched a debate on whether or not asexual people can personally reclaim the word ‘queer’ expand into a horrifying argument encompassing such topics as ‘ace exclusionists are as bad as TERFs’ and ‘asexual people deserve death’. 

i’m writing this now to try and convey the biggest lesson i learned from this shitshow: learn when to let it the fuck go. debating internet strangers on the minutiae of what sexuality headcanon you can have for the literal moon isn’t doing shit for you, or anybody else. 

you aren’t going to convince that equally-rabid blog with an anime icon that doves don’t look like that. you aren’t going to change a single goddamn thing about how asexual people exist or are treated. it doesn’t matter if you spend hours lying about your race/religion/HIV status, you’re never going to convince someone that you’re right by adding ‘pee your pants’ to their posts. 

i was pretty into the discourse when this blog was more active, and i am 100% guilty of most of the above. the discourse did not make my activism better, it did not help anybody around me, and it sure as hell didn’t make me a better person. if anything, it made me a worse person. 

i was convinced that i was right and everybody who agreed with me was perfect and that nothing could change that. i was constantly on the hunt for minor slip-ups from people on the opposite ‘side’ as i was, while being super paranoid about making mistakes of my own. 

when i did make mistakes, i denied them until a deluge of dogpiling and anon hate forced me into a breakdown. of course, i saw this as more proof that the ‘other side’ was irredeemably bad, ignoring the fact that, had one of them made the same mistake, i would have gleefully reblogged callout posts for them until they broke down as well. 

basically, what i’m trying to say in this huge-ass wall of text is that the ace discourse is fucking horrible and is never going to benefit anybody ever. get out while you can, and for the love of someone please don’t try and drag it onto other sites when you jump ship from tumblr. 

cheers, and shoutout to my followers for sticking around, 

aphobe-nonsense 

oh and one more thing: 

this post isn’t trying to boost one side over another. the point is that, while i obviously have my own opinion, which i think is valid and will debate the points of when such debate is relevant (like at an LGBTIA+ community meeting), the point i’m trying to make here is that the discourse itself is terrible. go take your own opinions and express them in likewise relevant spaces where you might actually make a difference. rabidly rehashing tired old arguments on a dying website isn’t helping anybody. 

[aphobe-nonsense]

the jokes about aces liking cake are making fun of 30 year old ace qweers that think theyre funny chill

Oh okay so just cause someone is 30 it's okay to make fun of them and twist their orientation into some weird insult? like really? 'qweer'? youre gonna take a word that's been used as a slur against us and try and turn it into something bad again? Fuck off with your bullshit queerphobia 🖕🖕🖕

[aphobe-nonsense]

mogai isn’t real and no one in the real world gives even half a shit buddy

okay guys tumblr user anonymous has spoken pack ur bags its time to stop pretending like mogai people exist /s

[aphobe-nonsense]

If you're interested, Organization Intersex International has several essays on their website explaining why they HATE being lumped into categories like MOGAI or GSM. Intersex is a medical condition, with significantly different needs than same-sex attracted or gender dysphoric people. We're the only group in this horrible inclusionist debate that doesn't want to be included bc we have unique concerns for ourselves. You don't feel the T represents you, we don't think you represent us.

this is a really interesting ask! i appreciate that you were polite about presenting your argument and that you provided sources. i’ve been thinking, and it’s not really my place to decide whether or not intersex people are included or excluded. the best i can say is that if you don’t want to be included, you don’t have to be! i know intersex people who do feel like they want inclusion, and that’s fine as well. i’m sorry that this whole debate has made you feel like you *have* to be included against your will. 

[aphobe-nonsense]

the words idiot and moron aren’t slurs for the love of god i am a neurodivergent person these words aren’t offensive i hate how every single thing has to be problematic. also if you’re ace that’s fantastic but why do you have to go out of your way to be oppressed like it ain’t a competition people are people you don’t need to weasel your way into a community to be valid

anyways this blog is hella dead but like. i feel obligated to answer these asks. 

those words have their roots in eugenics. they were used to classify neurodivergent people so that we could be sterilized and killed. by the fucking nazis. it’s fine that you don’t have a problem with those terms, but i for one would prefer not to be called a word that is heavily associated with the slaughter of nd people. 

also like. i’m panro nb ace. i don’t need to ‘go out of my way’ to be oppressed. its kinda happening whether i like it or not lmao. 

[aphobe-nonsense]

Nope only 2. Male and Female.

source???????

[aphobe-nonsense]

But how can you argue against the science of biology?

biology says there are more than two genders. whoops. 

[aphobe-nonsense]

There are only 2 genders

i came out of my hiatus to tell you to Stop. 

[aphobe-nonsense]

I'm ok. anon messages have not stopped but I have stopped paying attention to them. not v happy but I am alive and likely to stay that way for a long time.