[aportraitofmymind]

June 6

I'm addicted to Olivia Rodrigos cover of 'When a good man cries - Cmat' so I had to let it the whisper out

[aportraitofmymind]

June 3

Excited na akong matapos 'tong taon na 'to at maging June 2027 na. Gusto ko na mag-resign.

See you my june 2027 self.

[aportraitofmymind]

June 3

Got a good news from job but I think it was just fair for what I’ve done for the past year. Still grateful tho. But I’m not seeing myself for like another 2 years. I’m just a bit happy when I’ve proven myself to people that I wasn’t good because I am not good. I was just trying not to be good.

My wish right now is my gut to be okay.

[aportraitofmymind]

June 2

You know what… I’m just thinking about how this world is gonna end? like how? or like my thoughts are the same thoughts that the past people over the past hundreds of years has? like they’re just thinking about it, but the ending will never happen. Life will just always bloom; even after the most devastating catastrophes. Life will always find its way. And I think everyday is an ending.

[aportraitofmymind]

June 1

Okay wtf. Nagising ako sa tawag 'cause idi-deliver na 'yung laundry. Anyway, tanda ko na naka-red na 'yung battery ng phone ko kaya I had this thought na charge ko na rin kapag bumangon. Then I stood up and chinarge ko tapos labas kwarto. Tapos after few mins eh bumalik ako tas I had to like check messages and stuff sa phone, tas connected pa rin charger. Tas pota baket may bars na agad 'to? hindi na naka-red and the it's 69 percent?? wthelly. Tapos hindi rin pala nakasaksak 'yung extension so all this time is hindi nagcha-charge. so wtf? Chineck ko phone na isa baka ayun 'yung nakita ko na red na. Tas takte may bars din lagpas half pa. Wth. Pagkagising ko talaga call ang una ko nakita and 'yung palowbat na na symbol or what. Wtf. Eto ata 'yung sign na natanda na. Putangina.

[aportraitofmymind]

June 1

I'm obsessed with Audrey Hobert's Interpolation of Punkrocker!!! Wth is this girl!! She's like the great artist and I'm in awe. She's like a great songwriter!!! I don't know if this song is going to be on her alleged deluxe album buuuut... I wish this is for a new album. Like please!!!

PUNKROCKER!!!!!!

I wish she will like have a concert here in the Philippines!!! Pleeeeeaaaaaasssseeeeeee!!!!! @audreyhobert

[aportraitofmymind]

Ma 31

Natae ako now. Grabe namalengke ako ng around 5:30 then natapos ako siguro lagpas 6. Then naisip ko umorder sa mcdo since madadaanan ko naman. Tapos I had to wait for like 30mins I guess? tas dami ng pila. Tapos after may bibilhen pa saglet sa alfamart. Tapos nakasakay idk, and then nakarateng 7pm. Tangina sa gate pa lang namen eh natatae na ako. Bwiset. Buti umabot. Nag-lbm pa ako parang ngayon. Bwiset.

At tangina June na pala bukas?

[aportraitofmymind]

May 28

Bills PAID! natirang pera sa bank 69 pesos.

[aportraitofmymind]

I’m sad. Like fucking sad. The way things come to me all at once and I can’t do anything about it but just to feel it. And like ‘til I get to my thought that I just want to die. But I’m still sane. I’m still rational about thing. I know this is just temporary and I’ll be better. It’s just that it’s exhausting. It’s always like this, though I know that life is this way. Life moves this way. Ups and Downs and Ups and Downs. And I feel like I’m wasting time doing this. I just blink and then years of my life have been dealt this way. The never ending setbacks and progress. It feels so so so so good to be hopeful; and I will never ever deny the fact that it fucking feels so good to be alive. There’s so much about life that makes it worthwhile. I think I am just corrupted from the beginning I understand how life works. I managed to like for years to just fuck around and find out and still trying to just be this way. I am just or my brain is just full of sadness— and I live with different forms of it. I’m just afraid that one day I’d be so for-real tired, and stop this nonsense and end it. But even if my mind mostly rests in this part, I am still hopeful for things. I live for the hope of it all.

[aportraitofmymind]

May 27

I wish I was beautiful

[aportraitofmymind]

May 27

Not me feeling ugly again today. I fucking hate myself. Mg skinny fat body. My face fat. I can't enjoy eating because I think about my body.

[aportraitofmymind]

May 26

I'm about to watch the 2nd season of Yellowjackets but biglang ang bagal ng net :(( I think eto ang sign ng universe na sa weekend ko na pagpatuloy ulet or ewan. Kaineees.

And kelan ba lalamig? or like kahit konting ambon for like half day. Alam ko ang selfish pero sobrang init po talaga.

[aportraitofmymind]

May 26

I was supposed to do a workout today but I feel weak. And I feel guilty eating 9 slices of bread 'cause I already ate mcdonalds stuff in the afteroon. I hate i. I hate that I feel I'm gonna get fat and bloated and if I miss doing workout I will feel miserable. I hate myself today. And the fact that now I'm going to cook because I'm so so so hungry after taking a dump— 'cause I feel like I released all of the stuff I ate with the help of iced coffee and now I feel weak and hungry and I hate it that I'm going to eat again.

[aportraitofmymind]

Monday 25

Putangina ng init na 'to. Leche na sumabay pa 'yung walang tubig dahil sa putanginang ewan baket hindi maayos-ayos na every week na lang may maintenance. Putangina talaga. 10pm pa magkakaroon ng tubig? putangina

[aportraitofmymind]

May 23

Naisip ko lang. What if bigla akong sumikat isang araw. Paano ko kaya iha-handle? feel ko sa una masaya pero maiirita na ako kalaunan.

[aportraitofmymind]

May 23

I love the new Olivia Rodrigo song "the cure" !!!!

[aportraitofmymind]

May 23

I hate my mind today