Down to Get Faded

I’m Jess and I’m a mess. 25. KY. Preparing for clinical psych grad school. In love with drugs. Currently trying not to let my self destructive tendencies consume me. (No, I don't promote drug use cause this shit is stupid and dangerous). Feel free to talk to me, I'm nice I promise. :) IG: journeying.jess

[appetiteforlightindynamite]

Come back 😔

I’m finally back and glad to be here! Come talk to me!

[appetiteforlightindynamite]

You're missed :(

I missed being here! But I’m back!

[appetiteforlightindynamite]

Hi Jess, are you feeling better today? I was a little worried about you from a post you sent... I’ve been there though.. tweaking is fun and I just love it but I had a partner that pretty much had a psychotic break from tweaking too much. It took me years to get her back... been married to her now for 16 years.. it was a long few years though.. I know a lot of great calming exercises that can help if you ever need.. feel free to ask. Cheers! And have fun, but be safe.

I appreciate your concern. I definitely was starting to loose it but I’m okay now. I witnessed my ex have a psychotic break due to alcohol and it’s not fun to watch someone go through, I’m sorry that you all went through that. I’m glad things are better now though! And I’ll keep that in mind, I can usually handle it pretty well though. Thanks again and you too friend 😁

[appetiteforlightindynamite]

Can I be one of your online tweaker friends?

I’d love that! Hit me up when you’re on here! I’m always looking for friends and people who understand 😊

[appetiteforlightindynamite]

You are really pretty

Thank you! You are too sweet! 💕

[appetiteforlightindynamite]

are u up, still taking questions?

I’m always taking questions! Ask away! 😁

[appetiteforlightindynamite]

Tumblr is proof not all users are bad people/ugly/nasty Keep being cute you little cutie you

Thank you! That’s definitely true and I appreciate it. When I’m too strung out I’m not my best self though so I try to avoid that. I don’t ever want to lose myself.

[appetiteforlightindynamite]

I don't know what to say that will change your mind. You are too young and beautiful to mess up your life on meth. Move away from bumfuck Kentucky and live a happy life. The world is huge.

I appreciate your concern. I honestly feel the same but once I tried it my brain always wanted more. I usually can control myself but sometimes I need to just let go. I’m planning on moving away from here though and maybe one day I’ll be satisfied enough with life I don’t crave this self destruction anymore.

[appetiteforlightindynamite]

Your blog fucking speaks to me

I’m glad to hear that but also sorry you feel the same. It’s always good to know you’re not alone though.

[appetiteforlightindynamite]

Is it Jess, or Jessica? Btw, you ate beyond beautiful

Officially Jessica but I go by Jess

And thank you you are too kind 😊

[appetiteforlightindynamite]

And my sobriety is officially completely over

After the boi got me low I remembered how much more I prefer being high. I smoked crystal for the first time in forever. Oh my god, I feel amazing. I’m tingling and so happy. I remember why I loved this. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I said I’d do one hit and ended up doi f so much more. It’s so fun to smoke and it feels so good. I love Tina so much I can’t even explain it. It’s been so long. Oh my god. Wow. 🤪

[appetiteforlightindynamite]

This is not good. I’m on call today but I can’t help myself. It might just be a little bit but it should be none. I’m teetering on the top of a slippery slope, risking ruining my life and everything I’ve worked for but the drugs are just so enticing. I can’t get them out of my head and now I have access again idk if I can say no.

[appetiteforlightindynamite]

Relapsed

I spent the last 4 years working on getting into grad school. Got accepted. And immediately went looking for some H. I miss this and I miss hanging out with people who got it. I’m just worried about how tempted I am to use this H to help me be able to go back to the crystal and how fucking much I want to put a needle in my arm. I guess we’ll see how this goes.

[appetiteforlightindynamite]

I’m high so of course I took pictures. And I apparently love photosets. I should probably post something other than selfies but I have no life and I actually tried  to look cute today and I feel pretty atm so idc.

[appetiteforlightindynamite]

If you need help paying for any habits just put up a bat signal.

I mean I could always use money but I’m not sure what you’re talking about or asking for. Is this the bat signal? Wait, do you want me to post a literal bat signal? I'm sorry I'm confused.

[appetiteforlightindynamite]

Good morning! I finally had a chance to smoke! 💨

Come talk to me!

[appetiteforlightindynamite]

So I overestimated my tolerance the other day and had a hellish crash so I’m taking a few days to recover especially since I’ve got two more exams this week. I’ll be back soon though ❤️