From Dawn to Dusk

I talk in gibberish mostly

[appleandclover]

Torn up between

I just want to lay around doing house chores, what is it that I am after?

to

You have to get to work. there's nothing free in this world. You gotta work for it even with an increasing stomach acid.

Cry.

[appleandclover]

A pathetic fallacy.

[appleandclover]

We're jacks pretending to be aces.

Thinking we have the upper hand, but

We're actually losing.

[appleandclover]

I really dislike getting woken up abruptly.

My brain went to alarm mode quickly; unconsciously associating it as danger, emergency and everything negative.

[appleandclover]

Menuntut hak, tapi abai dengan kewajiban.

Memelihara yang salah, dijadikan kebiasaan.

Mau maju, tapi sebenarnya cuma jalan di tempat.

[appleandclover]

What are you, but a living shell?

[thebookquotes]

“Even after all this time I knew there were rooms inside of her that she had never let me guess at, let alone enter.”

— Tana French, In The Woods

[appleandclover]

Some thoughts aren't meant to be said out loud.

[appleandclover]

And you gotta learn how to live with imperfections here and there.

For life itself, is imperfect.

[appleandclover]

One who never feels sorrow, can't be sympathetic to someone in despair.

[appleandclover]

Death.

Death after death, the passing of loved ones.

it feels like we’re running against time, in a world where we no longer belong.

[appleandclover]

And I wonder whether my chest could expand any bigger to hold all this longing I have for my parents.

It hurts and I feel devastated.

[appleandclover]

I miss the one who fears for my safety more than I fear for my own.

[appleandclover]

"You didn't cry at your mom's funeral."

I did.

I cried sometimes during the ambulance ride back home.

My tears fell when I kissed my mom's cold cheeks.

I cried when I saw people reading surah Yasin in front of my mom's lifeless body.

I cried some nights after my mom's funeral.

I cried while I was alone.

I want to be sad in private.

Just because you didn't see me cry, it didn't mean that I was any less sadder than my sisters.

My life was crumbling.

And you didn't have to know.

[appleandclover]

Tranquility is

Having him close.

Breathing him in.

[appleandclover]

Humans are greedy creature by nature

[appleandclover]

You can't save a relationship by not growing