hello! welcome to my personal blog - where all my scattered interests and passions are condensed into this tiny digital space. I dabble in art, photography, and sometimes write a lil.
Time truly flies by, and most of my friends who are in university are approaching the end of their semester. And I am approaching the end of my internship at AWARE. As much as this is another update on what I have been doing in terms of my work at AWARE, this is also a timely reflection on what I have been spending my time doing in the past few months.
It is easy for humans to lose ourselves in activity. For me, slipping into the routine of interning 3-4 days a week, giving tuition, spending time with my partner + my other friends - it is truly the best way to spend my months. I feel constantly emotionally and mentally invigorated, and the best thing is, my efforts seem to be contributing towards a cause that I really do believe in.
My internship at AWARE has not only taught me more about the plight of women in Singapore, especially particularly vulnerable groups like single mothers or caretakers, but also how to conduct research and advocacy work in a way that reaches your intended audience. It has taught me many life skills as well: having a good work ethic, surrounding yourself with people whom inspire you and fuel your drive, learning how to manage working relationships - all these intangible things that I really wouldn’t have been able to acquire elsewhere. I do not regret my decision to take a semester off and take my maiden dive into advocacy work, and I feel like my journey won’t just stop here (as cheesy as it sounds). In a way, the road that led me here was quite by chance and I don’t think I ever anticipated how much of a valuable experience I would have here at AWARE.
What an irony that it is only towards the tail end of my internship did I embark on an even more exciting self-initiated project. Ah well, things are always exciting and it is important for me to not develop a sense of complacency. The inertia is always difficult to overcome once I’ve settled into a sort of routine.
Hey everyone, it’s been a while since I’ve posted any content on this blog. It was originally intended to be a blog charting my progress into succulent care, but I’ve since found that taking care of succulents in sunny (sweltering) Singapore is really a tough process. Hence, I kind of took a break from it for a while.
But I have a confession to make. So the succulent/cacti craze over a year ago… Yeah I think I might be having a relapse. I bought a new cactus and I’m really determined to try and make sure this one survives!! Here’s to hoping this one will fare well :-)
Was up all night watching Darling in the Franxx, and it genuinely is a good world-building, coming of age anime (despite the ecchi elements). And of course, here’s 002 in a yukata.
Today was the first company kind of function that I attended, and this also marks the introduction of our 6th intern! Even though less than a month has passed since I begun my internship experience, it feels like things have been rapidly changing. And so I thought it would be a good chance to have a little update.
A little cute anecdote about time spent in the office – today, during lunch, we had a company louhei. For quite a few people, it was the first time partaking in this tradition, because many of them were not ethnically Chinese. In fact, many of them probably have not lived in Singapore for more than a decade, and are hence still very green to the local customs and traditions here. Honestly, I have never been in such a racially and culturally diverse environment. Ethnically, some of my co-workers are Caucasians; one of them seem Irish (?) from what I can make of her slight accent; another seems to be American; and yet another seems European, though I cannot make head or tails of her accent and thus can’t really hazard a guess at her country of origin. Even under the classification of “white skin”, these co-workers seem to all hail from different parts of the globe. Within the interns, other than myself and two others, the rest of them are Malay and Indian, ethnically. Personally, I feel like this is a rather coarse way of illustrating how culturally diverse the staff are in this office, but perhaps the plainest and most straightforward way.
Even with this in mind, what amazes me entirely is just how little the differences between us really matter. There certainly are no barriers between us, though our background differences can immediately be discernible through our differing skin tones. Issues of racial or ethnic differences do not really seem to be a barrier from learning, earnestly, from each other; and indeed, the only time I notice sharply the gulf between us is when I find myself woefully ignorant of certain practices in the Muslim community, for example. (Since I’ve been working with the Gender is our culture project, this stands out to me in particular) And yes, I am still a little shy in asking those co-workers who seem more visibly foreign about how they came to find their way into a woman’s advocacy group in tiny Singapore, it is mostly due to my fear of offending them (since I’m making a big assumption that if they look foreign, it must mean that they are foreign).
Hailing from 6 years of the Integrated Programme, in a completely ethnically skewed school – two traditionally, very Chinese schools – I think this has been a novel experience for me, and it is one that I treasure immensely. It has always bothered me how I have always been in the same circles, and that my peers seem to all be so homogeneous in terms of race and socio-economic status.
And it really is such a lovely experience, having one colleague (who belongs to the “louhei newbie” category) tell me that she was extremely excited at this experience; to have Corinna speak about how this is a uniquely Singaporean experience (something I never knew!); having just a warm, chatting session between everyone in the office. It was all in all a lovely afternoon lunch break.
It really has become such an ideal work environment for me, especially with the introduction of the new interns, which have made things so much livelier. It is so refreshing to have young interns in the office (a handful of them are awaiting the release of their A Level results, so they would be 18) and the sense of comradery and companionship really cannot be overlooked.
I had a conversation today about how I became increasingly set on the idea that an ideal social environment is extremely important for most individuals. Sure, you can make do with an entirely practical, goals-driven mindset – that would get you through school, through whatever workplace scenario that is less than ideal. But for my emotional and mental well-being, I think it is highly crucial for me to be in an environment where it is suitably comfortable, yes, but also one that is ripe for growth and maturation. And that is what I have found in AWARE. And that is also what I hope to find in Yale NUS.
Today, going to work and spending time in the office was actually tremendously revitalising. For a while now, I feel like I have been stagnating in a state of despondency. I felt entirely unmotivated to do anything more than what I absolutely had to do. But having a routine, a sort of rhythm that I can fall into, I realised how much I needed that to give me that little push at working harder at my goals. It is truly such an invigorating feeling when you invest your time and energy into something productive.
All in all, I’m feeling really good vibes. And this is projected to continue.
tl;dr: Highly enjoyable anime, would definitely recommend this to new anime viewers. Genuinely love it.
For the last couple of weeks, I spent my time watching Mob Psycho 100 on Netflix (side note: it’s crazy how Netflix has been acquiring the rights to air so many anime series. They obviously have the anime market in their sights, and I can’t really complain because that means I get to enjoy the perks of downloading content on my phone & watch it whenever I feel like it; plus the user interface is so convenient). So it went like this: I was watching about an episode per day, every other day or so - then yesterday night, I decided to binge watch the rest of the series because I was simply enjoying it too much and that’s how I consume most of the anime I watch. Nevertheless, this is really an anime I would revisit, perhaps because I know that there is still so much enjoyment and appreciation I can squeeze out of a second viewing.
In this review, I will be explaining a bit about the features of the anime that I really enjoyed, but the bulk of the rest would be making comparisons to other anime - such as One Punch Man, and briefly Devilman Crybaby. Mainly, because the former is written by the same author, and the latter, because I want to draw comparisons between two vastly different styles of anime to illustrate how MP100 is really easily digestible & accessible to people who are new in anime.
// spoilers ahead, as usual //
What I loved about MP100
Mainly, the characters themselves, who are extremely endearing and you really do feel for them as you progress through the story. Throughout the course of the anime, I really get the impression that each of the main characters have their own complexes, struggles and insecurities. This is actually quite a big factor in this anime, that is: it explores the inadequacies of the individual, rather than constantly linger on the strengths and accomplishments of the powerful. Of course, I would not say that the anime delves deep into the respective psyches of each and every character, but as the viewer you are given just enough information about the inner workings of each character than you feel more invested in their story and their world.
From Mob himself, which is a simple-minded, down to earth kid with a gentle personality - and yet, when he gets serious or when the lives of his loved ones are threatened, he is a certified bad ass. Or his ‘Master’, the con-man Reigen that is equal parts charming and hilarious and surprisingly provides a good role-model for Mob is some ways. Or even the side characters, like the muscle-building club which quickly take Mob under their wing and consider him their little fledgling baby whom they fiercely protect. The characters are all extremely likeable, and this really played a large part in the whole viewing experience.
Speaking of the viewing experience, MP100 is really an anime that is easy to watch, doesn’t particularly invoke much deep philosophical thinking, but it is an extremely fun, wholesome experience that almost anyone can enjoy. More of this later.
Why I liked MP100 more than OPM
When I asked my brother, off-handedly, if he has watched MP100, he shrugged and simply remarked, “Isn’t that the anime that’s from the same guy who made One Punch Man? They have pretty similar plots and themes.” And of course, it is easy to see the similarities. Over-powered superhero. Subversion of the typical hero/shounen anime stereotype. Even visually, there are many similarities in the art style and subsequently their adapted animation design. And I really liked OPM as well. It was a very comically driven series that I really enjoyed, and the dry humour (that usually purposely falls flat due to the main character’s monotonous execution) in MB100 is very similar. However, the main difference for me was that MB100 had a story line that progressed in a more meaningful way than OPM did. Throughout the series, we witness Mob’s growth as a person and as a psychic, learning how to gain more confidence in his abilities while also just generally learning how to be a normal teenager. That goes for other characters like Ritsu, Mob’s younger brother, who works his way through an inferiority complex; or even more secondary characters like Dimple and Teru, another psychic that was initially introduced as an antagonist to Mob who eventually becomes a strong ally. On the other hand, OPM’s episodes usually just consists of sprinkles of humour, meta-commentary, and a big boss fight where all the heroes struggle valiantly while Saitama easily demolishes the threat in one big (anticlimatic) fell swoop. While OPM has some kind of plotline going, it really isn’t as satisfying as watching a more conventional story arc, where the protagonist goes through stages of struggle, emotional turmoil, and a resulting growth of character. While I enjoyed the elements of MP100 that reminded me much of the dry wit and fun of OPM, I liked it especially so for how it differs from OPM.
Why it’s an easily accessible anime
I believe that MP100 falls into the category of anime like My Hero Academia, where the story and characters are simple enough that most people can easily get into and enjoy, but still has a compelling enough story to sustain one’s interest. It is a pretty short season, with 12 episodes in total, and the anime rounds itself up in a natural way, with a cohesive and satisfying ending. It isn’t as visually and thematically edgy and raw as Devilman Crybaby, for example, which was another anime that I watched very recently. Perhaps because it is so fresh in my mind that I somehow wanted to draw comparisons and contrasts between the two. Devilman is an anime that leaves a deep, almost disturbing imprint on your mind, bringing you through an emotional rollercoaster that ends off with a rather... unsatisfying? ending. On the other hand, MP100 is a completely wholesome, enjoyable, fun anime that kids, teens and adults can enjoy just the same. For me personally, I love having a good mix of both; definitely the former may be more daring, more thought-provoking, but sometimes you just got to have some fun and light-heartedness in your life to keep you mentally and emotionally sane. Which is what MP100 really does. Not to say that MP100 is a happy bed of roses - to be sure, the animation style especially of Mob’s sinister psychic powers, definitely hints at a darker threat underlying the surface.
All in all - wonderful experience. Lovely anime. 10/10 would recommend.
Just some personal reflections over my internship experience at an advocacy organisation (thus far). Do skip past this if it doesn’t interest you!
A week ago, I begun my internship experience at AWARE, Association for Woman’s Action and Research. Although I’m only on the cusp of beginning my internship with them, I thought it would be a good opportunity to detail my experiences as they were fresh - and hopefully I will continue to continue on this series of online journal-writing, as the weeks and months pass.
When I first started out last Wednesday (I’m only in the office from Wed-Fri weekly!) I was surprised at how much autonomy I was given to determining my daily schedule. The general workflow goes a little like this: my supervisor assigns me a list of tasks, some of them menial and others contributing to a project, and I’m more or less left to my own devices. Other activities include reception duty, which involves answering calls, taking down messages, and buzzing visitors in when they are at the door. Additionally, if there is a lack of workflow, I generally either have to approach other departments (or they approach me!) to help out with their work.
Interning under the community engagement wing, I am mostly attached to the Gender Equality Is Our Culture (GEC) project, which aims to emphasise that gender equality and women’s rights are compatible with the Muslim culture in Singapore. This was the project that published Perempuan, which was a collection of entries written by the Muslim women in Singapore. And so, I would be more involved with projects such as the second publication of Perempuan. Already, through my attachment to this particular department and project, I am made aware of just how I was lacking in understanding and empathy of this particular minority group and the struggles that many fellow women and girls have to face, in even a modern society like Singapore. I had the opportunity to peruse a copy of Perempuan during some free time in the office; and I was genuinely affected by the collection of stories, some overlapping and others exploring specific sub-groups within the Muslim community, such as Indian Muslims or Muslim women that are part of the LGBT community. Reading the entries written by women, with the diversity of their personal life experiences, their differing opinions and attitudes towards pertinent issues that shape their identity - I was able to absorb and learn so much. One specific shock, I recall, was finding out that Female Genital Mutilation (FGM) is still a practice very much alive in the Muslim community in Singapore; honestly, I was quite disturbed and appalled upon finding out about this.
Additionally, I would be helping out with the communications and media department with condensing specific material from AWARE reports and translating them into a more easily-digestible materials, such as infograhics or promotional material to be posted on the various social media channels and platforms. A good example of how my work for the GEC project and media department coincides is an upcoming project that I will be working on: a social media campaign against FGM in lieu of International Day of Zero Tolerance for FGM (6 Feb). It is something that I’m excited to work on, and it is tasks like these that make me feel invigorated about the work that I’m doing here at AWARE. I would describe the current tasks that I have been assigned (and completed) in this manner: they are tasks that are relatively moderate in importance; my efforts results in an actual and tangible impact on the projects that I’m working on, however it’s not like I have been given absolute authority to head a large event or project on my own. Not that I expect that, given that of course, I’m still an intern. Additionally, it’s just been a week. Nevertheless, I’m content with the fact that not only am I learning so much from just being in the office and picking up little tidbits of information (from conversations, reading the annual AWARE report on the government budget, participating in events, etc.), but also because I feel like my efforts are contributing to something meaningful. As cheesy as it sounds.
Things that I have been working on thus far:
1. Looking through and giving illustrative comments on a line of comics scripted by the AWARE Youth group, which are focused on topics like eating disorders, body-image issues.
2. Researching other small details, bits and bobs. In my first week, I spent quite a few minutes calling up various gynaecology wards of public hospitals to inquire about the cost of tubal ligation (female sterilisation); today, I dedicated my time to researching notable women of the Muslim/Malay community in consideration for an author for the foreword of the second publication of Perempuan.
3. Reading through AWARE’s report on the 2018 Budget, which included recommendations such as more structural support in ensuring gender equality in Singapore (e.g. setting up a Gender Ministry in order to facilitate more action on the bureaucratic level), more support given to the older and younger generation of women.
There is actually so much more I want to talk about. Like the small anecdotes, little encounters throughout the day that leave an imprint on me - and I wish to hold on to - but that will have to wait for another time, another day, because this entry is getting far too long as it is.
It’s been a while, but recently I came across a show that really impacted me in a strong way (a nice way to say, it kind of fucked me up and rendered me wide awake and sleepless for a good one night) and I really feel like transcribing and posting my feelings about this truly unique show.
Prelude
I must admit, even though I consider myself an casual anime fan, I have not really delved into the cult classics of anime - Blame, Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure, Cowboy Bebop, and so on (though I have certainly heard of them) - but I would say that I have watched a range of anime. For me, Devilman Crybaby is something unique that I have not really encountered ever before and perhaps this is me not really being familiar with this particular genre of anime/manga, but nevertheless it was something that surprised me and gave me pause. Also, full disclosure, I decided to check this out upon recommendation from a couple of anime Youtube channels that I follow, so I went in with some expectations already set.
/ Spoilers ahead /
List of things that interested me the most:
1. The approach to religious symbology
There was a strong allusion to religion, in particular the Christian/Catholic faith throughout the entire anime, what with the whole theme of God, the Devil, and demons - typical symbols that are often seen in the bible. Just some interesting food for thought: demons and the actual Devil is portrayed as human-like, or at least with human qualities; on the other hand, God is portrayed as “cold”, omnipotent and very remote and far-removed from the central conflict of the series.
As much as it follows the typical portrayal of good and evil, according to biblical standards, the lines of what actually makes up the “good” and “bad” side becomes increasingly blurred. It is even in the name Devilman, a concept that has been deeply and thoroughly emphasised throughout the anime, that is of human purity and soul combined with the darker, sinister nature of demons. Another interesting consideration: the anime positions the two man characters, Akira and Ryo, side by side (quite literally at the end) to tell the story of the Devil and the most compassionate human to ever exist basically who has managed to instill some form of mortal nature in this unfeeling Devil; allowing him to feel sadness, grief, and love after the death of his only friend and companion. The focus at the end is not on the black and white depiction of good vs evil, but rather a more grey and abstract melding of the two.
2. Demons and human nature
Demons are portrayed as the manifestation of human sin. The Sabbaths are often filled with careless sex and marred with violence. The demons themselves are portrayed as more extreme depiction of man’s carnal desires: an insatiable hunger for sex, possession of power and assertion of dominance, and are undeniably a great evil that inspires genuine terror. And yet, the demons themselves display humanlike qualities: a regret for the monsters that they have become, a strong loyalty and even love for other devils, and of course, the fact that Devilmans exist (half man, half demon) indicate that the animalistic, carnal nature of demons are not completely dominant and can be overcome.
The show intentionally draws a very thin line between the demons and the humans, illustrating how demons (the Devilmen) can be forces of good whom utilise their physical power to protect humanity; on the other hand, in the anarchy that reigns after the exposure of the truth, humans themselves behave in ways so terrible and cruel that they can only be described as monsters themselves.
3. Subversion of the typical shounen tropes
The anime starts off seemingly just like many others of the shounen genre. Weakling protagonist gains superhuman powers, fights on the side of humanity against an impossible foe, and... wins the day with the power of friendship??
In many ways, Devilman really reminded me of Kill la Kill, what with the sexual undertones, dramatic and almost ridiculous fighting scenes, and especially the ending when the Devilman goes on to face off against Satan in the final Boss Fight. But where it deviated largely from Kill la Kill, and many other shounen animes, is that the protagonist doesn’t triumph over evil and save the day. Everyone just fucking dies and the whole world implodes as God once again decides to cleanse the Earth of demons and humanity has been ravaged by said demons.
I must say I was genuinely stunned at how unabashedly bleak the ending was. My expectations of the genre led me to believe that, no matter the rollercoaster ride of emotions and plot twists that the anime/manga brings you through (think: Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood, Claymore, Steins Gate, etc.) there will eventually still be a somewhat cathartic ending where the protagonists will prevail and the day is saved. The anime purposely plays on the audience’s expectations to delivered an ending that was even more shocking.
Last thoughts
There is probably much more I would like to say and comment on, but it’s currently getting late on my end and I’m dying to head to bed. All in all, great anime, would probably rewatch it again and is definitely makes it on my favourite anime list. Would highly recommend if you’re in for a ride.
been trying out sea textures a lot, with varying effects
the hilly green ones look real bad, I know - and I know it’s probably a mixture of bad technique/lack of skills on my part, but also pretty low quality watercolour paper? it has a really rough kind of grain and it’s difficult to paint details :-(
Discussion question: How does gender inequality interact with or relate to other forms of social inequalities (eg. poverty, racial inequality…)?
The early waves of feminism that washed across Western shores heralded great changes for women: they won the ability to vote, made advancements in marriage equality, and championed a woman’s rights to her own body. These accomplishments took generations to fight for, and they cannot be ignored nor forgotten. However, while the movement ensured greater liberties for the archetypal “woman” – White, heterosexual, educated and middle-class – women of differing racial and ethnic backgrounds were often excluded. Black women, Asian women, many of them migrants from their home countries seeking to start anew; they were often discriminated against and not accorded the same privileges as their White counterparts. Even though she was an emancipated slave who lived in the late 19th Century, Sojourner Truth’s statement still rings true till this day: ain’t I a woman (too)?
In the context of my personal life, I must admit that I am my society’s equivalent of a first-wave feminist. I am part of the majority, in almost every sense: a Chinese, heterosexual female from a middle-income household. I understand that I reap certain privileges that other women in my society cannot, be it females in the LGBT community or those of the racial minority in Singapore. Thus, I believe there is always a need to be aware of the subgroups and further classifications within the group of people that you seek to empower. And it is these smaller subgroups who require greater empowerment, because the struggles and challenges they face may be much more severe than that of the majority.
Moving on to a somewhat more controversial subject - modern day feminism. I would argue that there is a certain brand of radicalisation and toxicity that taints some of the current day feminists. And while it is important to have discussions and conversation about issues like video games and their tendency to objectify women or the debate between a woman’s choice of how to represent her body versus the sexualisation of women, sometimes we forget that there is still a substantial number of women in the developing world who do not have half the liberties granted to women of the first world. From Malala Yousafzai’s activism for women’s education, we know that there are still girls and young women who are unable to obtain an education in regions of the Middle East. From the plight of Somalia’s women refugees, we learn of the horrors of rape that befall onto displaced women. All in all, whilst the struggles of women in the third world do not lessen the troubles of women in the first world, it is important for those in the privileged position to take up the mantle and fight for the minority, who are at times unable to do so themselves.
In relation to issues of gender inequality, I believe that it is almost always not simply just a “gender” issue - there are many other forms of social inequalities that result in unique problems and struggles for different groups of women.
My grandmother is a gardener. One of my earliest memories of her is of her watering her plants - and she does so religiously, two times a day, in the morning right after she wakes and in the evening, before dinner. In my memories, she is always laughing with me and chatting away about her day, or sharing with me the latest gossip that she heard from one of her many sisters. Her greatest pride was her rose plants. They were a great, sprawling mess of thorns and branches and leaves that grew on the metal grills outside her modest HDB flat. Overextending far beyond the boundaries of the walkway, arching towards the sun, it was bountiful and large and alive. It yielded beautiful blooms, often in deep shades of peony pink. It gave my grandma an immeasurable amount of joy and pride, especially when neighbours paused to admire and compliment the roses that frequently budded and bloomed. She once told me conspiratorially that plants could understand the words spoken to them; she would often talk to her plants, paying extra attention to the rose plant whom she said was “vain” and “loved compliments”. Sunbirds would also made their nests within its thorny branches, and I remember looking on in wonder at the tiny birds flitting in and out of their hanging nest. It was an entire ecosystem of sorts on its own, and it thrived under the careful cultivation of my grandmother who consistently watered, pruned and fertilised it for at least half a decade of her life. My grandmother is a gardener, and her rough calloused palms have never learnt to trace the letters of the English alphabet. She barely knows how to scrawl the Chinese characters that make up her own name, with each stroke carefully memorised by heart. But these large, warm hands have nurtured generations. At the tender age of twelve, she reared chickens, fed pigs, and did the housework and cooking in a household of more than a dozen children. Later in her youth, the burden of being the sole breadwinner fell onto her after her husband (my grandfather, whom I’ve never known) suffered from a stroke and soon passed. Singlehandedly, she raised her 5 children - a feat that surely required such great strength and tenacity that I’m frankly in awe of. And these same hands were the very ones that fed and clothed me and my brother, and our cousins after us, in our earliest years of childhood. My grandmother lived in an era where times were hard and education was not a viable option to her, and the only way she knew how to make a living for herself and her family was through labour and hard work. But she eked out a living for herself and her family, using the only tools she had to her disposal. Ever patient, always loving, she was a nurturer whom planted seeds of growth and opportunity for her children and their children. My grandmother, the gardener she is, has created a garden: one that flourished and thrived, allowing her to reap the rewards of many years patient and careful cultivation.
